Posted 10/31/2005 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Any way you cut it, the Colbert Report (Rapport?) is hilarious.

It's not the loudness of the graphics or the corniness of the regular segments or even the incessant use of American flag and bald eagle motifs that has made has made Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" appointment television for "The Daily Show"-loving cognoscente since it debuted two weeks ago.

What really makes "Colbert" work is the deft way in which star Stephen Colbert captures a more intangible quality that permeates Fox News Channel's "The O'Reilly Factor," MSNBC's "Scarborough Country" and every other news-commentary program that "Colbert" seeks to spoof. It's a little thing called "righteous indignation," and baby, Colbert has got it to spare.

Even though I can't watch Colbert and not laugh my ass off, there are two things about him that trouble me. First, that people will confuse this program for "real" news (whatever that is), and will most certainly be the exclusive news source for anyone under 25. Secondly, It's kinda disheartening that the O'Reillys and the Scarboroughs don't realize that they look just exactly this rabidly stupid when they're on their own shows trying to be taken seriously. At least Colbert is trying to make you laugh at what a jackass he is.

Posted 10/31/2005 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

Do you feel the power?

A pastor performing a baptism was electrocuted inside his church Sunday morning when he adjusted a nearby microphone while standing in water, a church employee said.

The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, was stepping into the baptistery as he reached out for the microphone, which produced an electric shock, said University Baptist Church community pastor Ben Dudley.

Regardless of which Ecumenical statement you follow, you must agree that the microphone was a bit much.

Posted 10/31/2005 05:24:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe it's just me, but something about this just doesn't sound right. I know it was passed in Texas, and I think it's obvious as to where its intentions lie.

Tracy Ward is in hot water again, charged with another drug-related offense.

On Wednesday, Potter County charged Ward, 31, for tampering with physical evidence, alleging she smashed a crack pipe Oct. 22 near an Amarillo Boulevard motel.

Ward, the first woman in Texas prosecuted for passing drugs to her unborn baby, is appealing her 2004 conviction in that case.

Last year, Ward, 31, received five years' probation after pleading guilty to delivery of a controlled substance to a minor by smoking crack cocaine before her son was born.

About two years ago, Texas lawmakers amended state law to redefine the term "individual" to mean a "human being who is alive, including an unborn child at every stage of gestation from fertilization until birth."

The law permits criminal prosecutions of third parties for murder, assault, intoxicated assault and intoxicated assault against a fetus.

Not to put too fine a point on an absurd example, but is the same true for legal substances, like alcohol and tobacco? Are pregnant women, possibly before they knew they were pregnant, going to get prosecuted for contributing to the delinquency of a minor for drinking a beer? I hope the D.A. is ready for some over-time, because without beer, half the women in Texas wouldn't even be pregnant.

Regardless of your opinion of Roe v. Wade, this reeks of an end run around the 30 year old opinion. If it's legal to dispose of this life, yet illegal to deliver a controlled substance to it, it's just a matter of time before that test case finds its way before the new court.

But wait! Isn't it already illegal to smoke crack? So why are they prosecuting her for delivering it to her baby instead of just prosecuting her for buying/possessing/smoking it? Are they trying to get a test case out of Ms. Ward? As Carlin once said, "I don't know about the rights of the unborn, but I know being born again doesn't give you twice as many."

Posted 10/31/2005 05:02:00 PM by Douglas

I'll admit that I've watched way too much baseball in the past three weeks, but I couldn't help but think that the Meirs nomination was too easy. Hit 'em with the change-up first, then throw the fastball high and inside to make the batter work for it. Meet the new fast-ball.

Conservatives lauded President Bush on Monday for his choice of Judge Samuel Alito for the Supreme Court, while liberals signaled a contentious confirmation hearing is ahead for the nominee.

Alito, a 55-year-old judge on the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, is a favorite of conservatives, many of whom objected when Bush nominated White House legal counsel Harriet Miers at the beginning of the month.

I don't have any idea what to think about this guy, but at least this time the fight will be from the Democrats and NOT the Republicans that can't stand Bush's appointment. But in looking at some of his more than 700 written opinions, it looks like they're circling the wagons for one hell of a fight, which should be interesting. Bush isn't very good at conceding.

Posted 10/28/2005 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

I'm so sick of hearing about these two Succubus [Succubi?] in training, I could throw up blood.

America's white supremacist movement has an angelic new face: twin teenage pop stars whose songs preach messages of racial hatred.

Prussian Blue, a "white power" band now recording its second album, is described as a sinister version of the Olsen Twins, the squeaky clean child actresses of the 1990s. It is attracting more and more fans among young white nationalists.

Lamb and Lynx Gaede, blonde, blue-eyed 13-year-olds from Bakersfield, California, have been entertaining all-white crowds with their music since the age of nine. Lamb plays the guitar and Lynx the violin.

What's almost as sickening as the vile they're spewing is the knee jerk reactionaries on the other side that say CPS should step in and stop their parents from "abusing" them by filling their blonde little uninformed heads with such hate. Guess what? Being stupid was never, and is still not a crime. You can still tell your kids whatever the hell you want to as long as a single shred of the first amendment remains intact.

What I find most troubling about these two in light of the huge media attention they've received this week is, who the hell cares? There's always been racists, and the subversive "Skin-head rock band" isn't a new phenomenon. So what's so special about these two? Is this a big deal because they're young, blonde and cute? Where's the outrage for all the skin-heads that aren't cute?

Posted 10/28/2005 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

It's that time again, kids. Time for Leonids!

Posted 10/28/2005 05:39:00 PM by Douglas

Do you feel daunted by the criminal, moral, and biological problems that arise from consuming human flesh? Yeah, me neither, but if you do, you're in luck. Now you can buy a soy based human flesh substitute to satisfy all your cannibalistic desires.

Welcome to EatHufu.com, home of Hufu
-- The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

The question that first came to my mind, besides the obvious, overarching, and resounding why is the more subtle how? If it really simulated human flesh, what the hell did they use to compare it to to ensure the alternative is realistic? Did they cook someone as a comparison and set up a blind taste test at the mall?

Posted 10/28/2005 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Don't forget to get your flu shots, suckers!

More than 1,000 Exxon Mobil employees received flu shots last week with a vaccine now being investigated by the FBI to determine its authenticity.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is testing samples of the vaccine.

The flu shots were given to about 1,000 Exxon Mobil employees and 80 contractors during a Health Fair Oct. 19-20 at the company's Baytown complex of refinery and chemical plants.

The people at my office don't know how to clean the bathroom or cook a scrambeled egg. There's no way I'm going to let them give me an injection.

Posted 10/26/2005 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Remember when tapes were cool? Well take a look at this site and see how many of them you owned. I've got a lot of them.

What's funny is you can tell that these particular cassettes are well used. Wonder what's on them? I'm going to go with Cheap Trick. Maybe Bon Jovi.

Posted 10/26/2005 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

Three years later, and what has been accomplished? It would appear from this piece from Rummy himself that the administration is on the ropes:

Fortunately, history is not made up of daily headlines, blogs on Web sites or the latest sensational attack. History is a bigger picture, and it takes some time and perspective to measure accurately.

[. . . ] {And yes, I cut out the part where he talks about electing puppet governments, new roads and smiling puppies 'cause I'm not buying it.}

Though there are those who will never be convinced that the cause in Iraq is worth the costs, anyone looking realistically at the world today -- at the terrorist threat we face -- can come to only one conclusion: Now is the time for resolve, not retreat.

Consider that if we retreat now, there is every reason to believe Saddamists and terrorists will fill the vacuum -- and the free world might not have the will to face them again. Turning our backs on postwar Iraq today would be the modern equivalent of handing postwar Germany back to the Nazis. It would be as great a disgrace as if we had asked the liberated nations of Eastern Europe to return to Soviet domination because it was too hard or too tough or we didn't have the patience to work with them as they built free countries.

Wow, just wow. I thought the Hussein = Hitler was played out from Gulf War I with Shurb 41. They must be getting desperate if they're trotting that one out again.

Posted 10/26/2005 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

The coolest beer commercial you're ever gonna see.

Posted 10/26/2005 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

Speaking of The Onion:

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—NASA Administrator Michael Griffin has yet to respond to recent allegations that he used NASA space shuttles on as many as one dozen unauthorized outings to such destinations as New York City, the French Riviera, and his vacation home near Ketchum, ID.

A report issued Monday by NASA's Oversight Commission indicates a cumulative 1.8 million miles unaccounted for on the Atlantic, Discovery, and Endeavor shuttles. In addition, shuttle pilot James Kelly reported numerous occasions on which he found the pilot seat "adjusted for someone else."

Ha!

Posted 10/26/2005 04:55:00 PM by Douglas

With all that's going wrong with Bush's administration right now, it's good to see they can still laugh at themselves. No?

The White House is not amused by The Onion, a newspaper that often spoofs the Bush administration, and has asked it to stop using the presidential seal on its Web site.

The seal was still on the Web site www.theonion.com on Tuesday at the spot where President George W. Bush's weekly radio address is parodied.

With headlines like "Bush To Appoint Someone To Be In Charge Of Country" and "Bush Subconsciously Sizes Up Spain For Invasion," The Onion is popular with readers looking for a little laughter with their politics.

Lighten up, man, it's a joke. This is kinda funny, too.

Posted 10/23/2005 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Why I read the Amarillo Globe News. Headlines like this.

Happy man found dead after car leaves roadway
James Foster Parker, 68, of Happy, was pronounced dead at the scene when authorities discovered his 2005 Toyota pickup off Wayside Road about 26 miles southeast of Canyon in Randall County, according to a Texas Department of Public Safety report.

He may have been "of Happy", but he definetly wasn't a "happy" man that day.

Posted 10/23/2005 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

Is coitus going to play a significant part in the future of long-duration space flight? I think most astronauts know they don't have to go to orbit to get some Tang.

Sex and romantic entanglements among astronauts could derail missions to Mars and should therefore be studied by NASA, warns a top-level panel of US researchers.

NASA plans to return astronauts to the Moon by 2018 and later on to Mars. But a round-trip mission to the Red Planet would probably last at least 30 months and carry six to eight people. That would be a hotbed for intense crew relationships, says a report by the US National Academy of Sciences (NAS).

This is nothing that the navies of the world haven't been dealing with for centuries. I don't think it's any more of an issue with people joining the 250,000 mile high club than in our modern Navy. But what can NASA do about it?

"One could perhaps select for people who seem to have less need for sex, or at least don't use sex as a form of self-validation," Ellison says.

Considering that most astronauts are engineers, that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Beyond that, she adds, NASA should consider the practical issues of out-of-this world sex. "How do you have sex in weightlessness?" she ask. "And there's a lack of privacy – often they're monitoring pulse rate and temperature. I don't know how that would be handled."

NASA doesn't like to acknowledge it, but they've already flown a married couple in space on STS-47. I believe they've since divorced, as their NASA biographies make no mention to their marriage.

Posted 10/20/2005 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I've been corrected that the traffic engineer quoted in this post does not, in fact, smoke crack. Apparently he's a very bright gentleman with his own business that's working to make the traffic of Texas better. My mistake, and my apologies.

Posted 10/19/2005 10:03:00 PM by Douglas

Astros!

Posted 10/18/2005 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Think your iPod needs a little dressing up? Try this. Warning!: This website may cause severe nausea.

Posted 10/18/2005 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Ever wonder how much insect larvae is acceptable in a can of creamed corn? Well wonder no more. A word of warning: It's probably a lot more than you think.

Posted 10/18/2005 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

Only one word to describe this inditement. Obscene.

The driver of the bus that erupted into flames last month, killing 23 Bellaire nursing home residents as they were transported out of Hurricane Rita's path, now faces criminal charges for each of the passengers' deaths.

Juan Robles Gutierrez, 37, currently in federal custody in Texas, was charged late Friday by the Dallas County Sheriff's Department with 23 counts of negligent homicide. Each count carries a maximum penalty of up to two years in a state jail facility and $10,000 fine.

23 counts? Not plain old negligence, but homicide?!? It's obvious that they want someone to nail to the wall on this one, but the driver is about as guilty as the passengers. How sad and totally pathetic that the DA went for the weakest, most indefensible person in this situation, instead of the ignorant asses that called for the ill-fated evacuation.

Posted 10/16/2005 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe it's just me, but I'd think that anyone living in White Settlement really likes the name.

White Settlement may be on the way out.

Voters in this city just west of Fort Worth will decide Nov. 8 on a proposal to change its name to West Settlement.

The "White" part is just not right for today's business world, Mayor James Ouzts said.

"When people see the name, the question of race comes to mind. They ask, 'What is that all about? Why is that name there?' " Ouzts said. "If you start out in a negative spot, it's hard to overcome that."

But the name has many staunch defenders.

"Why don't they go ahead and change the name of the White House to the West House?" former Councilman Alan Price said.

"They want to do away with the heritage of White Settlement and destroy the history of White Settlement."

Have we become so freakin' PC that the we're so terrified of the word "white" that a small town is going to spend dollar one (much less between $25,000-$500,000) to change the name of a po-dunk town? What's next, egg whites to be called egg transparents?

Don't laugh.

Posted 10/16/2005 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

A longtime reader pointed me towards this article, and I'd be remiss if I didn't make a few comments. First of all, chicken little, the sky isn't falling.

I had the misfortune of having to review a stack of National Geopraphics from the 70s a few months ago, and it was quite revealing. First off I had no idea how far to the Left NG was, but it was also interesting just how dire their prediction of the future actually was. Petroleum reserves were to be depleted by 1990, the earth would have an un-sustainable population by 2000, and global cooling (yes, this was their line in the 70s, look it up) was going to reap catastrophic climatological mayhem across the planet before we got to stop using the pre-printed 19__ on our checks. Oddly enough, detailed on the same NG pages, nuclear reactors and strip mines in the worker's paradise of Cuba were supplying essential jobs and needed income to local economies, but that's the rant for another day.

Anyhoo, no one that's been paying attention would think that the average schmoe doesn't have it better than any of the crowned heads of Europe 500 years ago. But just because we're hitting a few snags doesn't mean it's all going to come crashing down on our heads now does it? Does it?!?

You will enjoy a standard of living that would have glazed the eyes of the Emperor Nero, thanks to the 2% annual economic growth rate sustained by the developed world since the industrial revolution. You will have access to greater knowledge than Aristotle could begin to imagine, and to technical resources that would stupefy Leonardo da Vinci. You will know a world whose scale and variety would induce agoraphobia in Alexander the Great. You should experience relative peace thanks to the absolute technological superiority of the industrialised world over its enemies and, with luck and within reason, you should be able to write and say anything you like, a luxury denied to almost all other human beings, dead or alive.

Whatever goes wrong in our lives or the world, the march of progress continues regardless. Doesn't it?

Almost certainly not.

Well, yes and no. The natural state of any system is decay, but that doesn't necessarily apply to all of society because there's lots of people that are working to keep that from happening. In the middle of December, I can go out and buy a lemon the size of my fist, yet the possibility of this event is totally unheard of to the King of England a short 200 years ago. Why? Because of the market, and the technology that makes it possible, and the best part about the technology is that it's almost 100% unforeseeable to those that create it. No one can possibly imagine what it would be like in 100 years, so to sit back and prognosticate doom and gloom at the peak of mankind's achievements is somewhat akin to be the turd in the punchbowl and that ants at a picnic at the same time. But something tells me that this statement sums up the author's sentiment better than I ever could:

The great nations just aren't throwing enough money at the problem.

Holy crap. I'm hesitant to call this guy an ignorant Leftists, because I've seen this problem on both sides of the aisle, but geesh. The energy problems of the planet aren't cause by a lack of funding.

Posted 10/16/2005 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

As usual, blogging about your employer will get your fired.

A Mansfield elementary school teacher resigned after school officials found she used her class computer to access a personal Web log chronicling sexual exploits and containing disparaging remarks about her students.

Becky Pelfrey, 38, had worked for the Mansfield district for three years and had spent seven years working for Arlington schools.

Her log featured links to sexually-oriented Web sites and comments about her students, including a reference to them as "stinky kids."

Last time, folks. Blog about work, or even more specifically, about work, you're gonna get fired. Deal with it.

Posted 10/15/2005 01:05:00 PM by Douglas

Judging from the hilarity of this ebay ad, this site must be hilarious.

Posted 10/15/2005 01:02:00 PM by Douglas

Get your application in now!

Posted 10/14/2005 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

Yet another story of triumph over diversity. This time, it's bullying.

When Morgan Matlock was a young child, she experienced bullying firsthand. The first time was after a school concert. After walking offstage, a boy from her school ridiculed her singing and held his hands over his ears.

"I felt so bad about myself," Matlock said. "For years it affected me and haunted me."

I don't think there's anyone that's going to step forward and speak out in favor of bullying, but have we totally sanitized our children's lives that this bullshit is a big deal? I remember the good old days when bullying was rampant across the land, and most kids, oh, I don't know, dealt with it and became stronger people, some might even say adults, because of it. Now, we live in a world where it's a crime for anything negative to happen to a child, and a grown woman that walks around in a tiara shares her life experiences with little girls. Progress?

Posted 10/14/2005 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

Ma'am, do you have a prescription for that ferret?

A student has filed an Americans With Disabilities Act complaint against a university because it won't let her keep her pet ferret at her dormitory.

Freshman Sarah Sevick, 19, said in a complaint filed with the U.S. Justice Department that she needs the ferret, named Lilly, at Our Lady of the Lake University to calm her during panic attacks.

"I'm not suing the school, and I'm not asking for money. I'm just trying to get her here," she said.

Sevick said she has been diagnosed with psychiatric problems, including post-traumatic stress disorder. She takes medication for depression and anxiety, she said.

Maybe she her ferret Lily does provide therapeutic assistance with her panic attacks, but this just reeks of yet another abuse of the ADA, because for every college freshman that would benefit from this kind of activity, there are thousands more that would be grossed out about having to live in the dorm with a freakin' rat.

Posted 10/14/2005 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Wow, looks like we might fly again!

NASA managers said Friday that the space agency is working to resume shuttle flights as soon as next May, even as teams of engineers continue to analyze what caused a potentially critical problem during the Discovery's launch.

"May looks very doable," said NASA Associate Administrator for Space Operations William Gerstenmaier.

Well that's good news, but since when did NASA Administrators start referring to the shuttle schedule in terms typically reserved for High School Sophomores boys describing cheerleaders?

Posted 10/09/2005 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

Wow!

The hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church has published a teaching document instructing the faithful that some parts of the Bible are not actually true.

The Catholic bishops of England, Wales and Scotland are warning their five million worshippers, as well as any others drawn to the study of scripture, that they should not expect “total accuracy” from the Bible.

So much for the unquestionable holy word of god. I wonder who gets to pick which parts are accurate and which parts aren't? The same people that wrote it and got to pick what was included and what wasn't?

Posted 10/09/2005 05:20:00 PM by Douglas

Christmas is just around the corner, so for that special lady in your life that's got it all, why not give her the thing she's always wanted: A ballless scrotum.

Posted 10/08/2005 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

Who doesn't love a great haiku?

Posted 10/07/2005 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

So is Bush hearing voices or not? One report says he is, then he comes out and says it was 'not literal.' Does it really matter? I have two questions:

1. Why is this getting more attention in the foreign press than it is here in the U.S.
2. Why is this being discussed at all? Why wouldn't any ruler that bases his decision on divine inspiration be discredited as a theocrat?

Just curious.

Posted 10/07/2005 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

All last night I lie (lay?) awake, tossing and turning, hopelessly wondering about the first ever documented case of homosexual necrophilia in a duck. Thankfully, tonight I can get some sleep.

On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. It is concluded that the mallards were engaged in an ‘Attempted Rape Flight’ that resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.

I have absolutely no idea what to think about this, but I will give it up for the rapist duck. He didn't do it half assed. He stuck it out for 75 minutes. Kinda makes ya wonder about the person that had to watch and time it, though.

Posted 10/06/2005 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

Like most people, I have no substantive opinion about Bush's new Supreme Court nominee, other than this. Like I said before, if Ann Coulter hates her, she can't be all bad.

I eagerly await the announcement of President Bush's real nominee to the Supreme Court. If the president meant Harriet Miers seriously, I have to assume Bush wants to go back to Crawford and let Dick Cheney run the country.

Unfortunately for Bush, he could nominate his Scottish terrier Barney, and some conservatives would rush to defend him, claiming to be in possession of secret information convincing them that the pooch is a true conservative and listing Barney's many virtues -- loyalty, courage, never jumps on the furniture ...

And unfortunately for them, the same "conservative" sycophants would defend any Bush nominee.

I wanna see a fight for this one!

Posted 10/03/2005 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

Filibuster. Who'd a thunk it? A Republican filibuster. I enjoy the prospect. Mr. Balko, as usual, sums it up nicely.

The Republican party has proven that they don't stand for a damned thing beyond keeping and wielding power. I can't decide if the Miers nomination was a wholesale cop-out by a wounded president who has lost all fight for what he claims to believe in, or yet another example of the rampant cronyism and arrogance of power of an administration that realizes it'll never again face accountability at the ballot box, and simply doesn't care anymore. Probably a little of both.

Considering what a lasting legacy an SCOTUS appointee has for a president, I can see why Bush apologists are getting ticked at his middle of the road appointments. These blind, coprophagous followers stuck through the last six years, and this is all they get? Sure, most wouldn't be happy if Bush nominated Jesus himself, but still.

Over at Althouse, I've been watching this link light on fire throughout the day. Good call, Ann! It was only four hits this morning, but now it's up over five pages.

Posted 10/03/2005 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

Your car IS spying on you.

Meanwhile, automakers quietly have started adding what amount to black boxes to their automobiles--sort of cheap, simplified versions of the black boxes found in commercial airliners.

But the public doesn't know about those black boxes, and I haven't noticed anything about them in the owner's manual.

In the last few seconds of an automobile's operation before a crash, they record data such as speed, direction and whether there was braking.

It's a lawyer's dream. After an accident, one side or the other would be interested in the data, which could be invaluable at a trial.

This one's going to get interesting. I can't imagine the recording device in a car being used to testify against its driver in court, but stranger things have happened.

Labels: EDR

Posted 10/03/2005 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

I guess it was just a matter of time. wikipedia is such a damn fine reference source, someone, sooner or later, was going to come along and make fun of it. Enter uncyclopedia! Like its Wiki counterpart, there's a lot there. I just sorta thumbed through it, but it was pretty funny, if not predictable. I did like the list of presidents and honestly, didn't everyone think that Teddy Ruxpin would someday become president? I did, the first time I saw that hand-made tuxedo.

Holy crap, I gotta quit reading this. I just got to the women article. Specifically, the "women are useful for" part. Ouch. That's funny.

Posted 10/01/2005 04:21:00 PM by Douglas

Why mince words?

Boeing and its joint-venture partner Bell Helicopter apologized yesterday for a magazine ad published a month ago — and again this week by mistake — depicting U.S. Special Forces troops rappelling from an Osprey aircraft onto the roof of a mosque.

"It descends from the heavens. Ironically it unleashes hell," reads the ad, which ran this week in the National Journal and earlier in the Armed Forces Journal. The ad also stated: "Consider it a gift from above."

The ad appears at a time when the United States is trying to improve its image in the Muslim world and Boeing seeks to sell its airplanes to Islamic countries.

Ya know, the Marine Corps didn't buy 'em to rescue hurricane survivors.

Posted 10/01/2005 04:19:00 PM by Douglas

Top ten video game music. Go on, click on it! You know it's been years since you've heard the Frogger theme.

Posted 10/01/2005 04:10:00 PM by Douglas

It's new stove day!!

From the instruction manual:

Using the Sabbath Feature.
(Designed for use on the Jewish Sabbath and Holidays.)
The Sabbath feature can be used for baking/roasting only. It cannot be used for broiling, self-cleaning or Delay Start cooking.
NOTE: The oven light comes on automatically when the door is opened and goes off when the door is closed. The bulb may be removed.

I found this a bit troubling at first. Does my new stove have some Jewish friends that are going to come over today? Who knows, but there are two aspects about this I find disturbing. First of all, I'm not one to question anyone's relationship with a divine being, but personally, my god wants me to have a hot meal on Saturdays, too.

And finally, if at any point during my final judgment any features on my appliances comes into consideration for my salvation, boy howdy am I in big trouble. You can pretty much forget about the big stuff if the big guy upstairs is taking into consideration the light bulb in your oven.