Posted 6/30/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

Five simple words: "Houston, go with throttle up."

But if Discovery is seriously damaged at launch and the shuttle crew is sent to shelter aboard the space station, NASA chief Michael Griffin has said he would consider ending the quarter-century-old shuttle program.

In that case, Griffin said on June 17, "I would be moving to shut the program down. ... I think, at that point, we're done."

Let's save the pre-flight "I told ya so" for another day. A day, perhaps, after we get the crew in orbit.

Posted 6/29/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

I'm a bit embarrassed to post any Britney-related news, but after looking at no less than a dozen pictures of her pregnant gut on Yahoo's most popular this morning, I thought I had to add a comment. Two weeks ago she goes on NBC looking like a two-bit whore you'd be ashamed to take to a NASCAR rally. Ok, that's fine, I really don't care, but of course, she has to whine about how the paparazzi is ruining her life:

During the "Dateline" interview, Spears tearfully implored the paparazzi to leave her alone. Her pleas were reasonable and tugged at the heart. One came close to forgetting that she had encouraged the attention with her provocative videos, snake-charming stage performance, open-mouthed Madonna-kissing, 15-minute marriage, grotesquely narcissistic reality show and second husband known for displaying the tawdry, laconic demeanor of a pimp on weed.

Exactly. I'm sick of celebrity millionaires whining about their loss of privacy. Without celebrity attention, she wouldn't even be Britney Spears. She's be Britney Federline, trying to find a way to get time off from Wendy's so she can squeeze out her Irish twins. But then, today, I see this:

Pregnant pop princess Britney Spears is baring nearly all on the cover of Harper's Bazaar magazine. The singer of "... Baby, One More Time" posed in the buff for the cover of the August issue; there's also a photo spread inside.

On the cover, Spears, who is sitting, cups her breasts with her hands and crosses her legs while showing her protruding belly and smiling for the camera of lensman Alexi Lubomirski.

Right. Because that's what every young mother, faced with the realities of motherhood, celebrity, fame and fortune do when they're sick of media attention and just want to be left alone: Pose nude and pregnant in a magazine.

Way to go!

Posted 6/29/2006 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

We all know that video cameras are everywhere. Police use them in their cars, hilariously in their processing facilities and even on stop lights. So it's OK for you to use a surveillance camera on your own property, right? Wrong. [via]

Michael Gannon, 49, of 26 Morgan St., was arrested Tuesday night, after he brought a video to the police station to try to file a complaint against Detective Andrew Karlis, according to Gannon’s wife, Janet Gannon, and police reports filed in Nashua District Court.

Police instead arrested Gannon, charging him with two felony counts of violating state eavesdropping and wiretap law by using an electronic device to record Karlis without the detective’s consent.

I didn't consent to that camera on the stoplight, either. What possible reason would a public servant have to object to being videoed while pursuant to their duties? Why does "if you're not doing anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about" only apply to us?

Posted 6/28/2006 04:55:00 PM by Douglas

Does it come in strawberry?

Worst. Pun. Ever.

Posted 6/28/2006 04:31:00 PM by Douglas

Kansas v. Marsh. Althouse has the story. Sounds pretty scary:

Kansas v. Marsh, in which the court upholds a state law that requires the death penalty when the jury weighs the aggravating and mitigating factors and finds them in equipoise. In Lithwick's words "the tie goes to the hangman."

That doesn't sound good, does it?

Posted 6/26/2006 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

For years the best way to get around Houston's toll roads has been facilitated with the tiny transponders in your windshield, but suddenly, HCTRA has taken big brother off your windshield and put him in the driver's seat. How? By making new, permanently affixed RFID stickers mandatory:

No deposit. No monthly rental fee. No more rooting around in the glove box for that EZ Tag you left in the other car.

The Harris County Toll Road Authority's program to replace its battery-powered EZ Tag transponders with windshield stickers that do the same thing is being phased in quietly, but it's not exactly a secret. Although there was no announcement, the agency's Web page has details.

If this is such an improvement, then why the silent treatment? For those of us that don't like to be tracked when we drive on Houston's freeways, it comes as a great surprise that we can't leave our EZ tag at home and NOT be followed by the HCTRA. Now, it's not even an option. And it's not just on HCTRA roads where EZ tag drivers are being tracked. According to Houston Transtar they're tracking our every movement even when we're not paying a toll.

But hey, what's the worst that could happen? Why shouldn't some clock puncher at HCTRA know where you're going at all times? What have you got to hide?

Posted 6/24/2006 04:35:00 PM by Douglas

A good practical joke is worth its weight in gold. Not only can they be devastating if cleverly implemented, but the payback they incite is the stuff legends are made from. Some of you might remember from January, 2004 about the guy that wrapped his buddy's apartment in aluminum foil, down to each CD and individual coins in his change bowl. Well, Luke Trerice, payback's a bitch. Welcome to your hamster cage:

A practical joker got a taste of revenge when friends turned part of his apartment into a human-sized hamster cage, complete with shredded newspaper bedding, a six-foot exercise wheel and a giant water bottle.

"It was a lot of work, but it was one of those cases where you do it because you have to," said Keith Jewell, a longtime friend and neighbor who engineered Monday's hamster-cage prank on Luke Trerice.

Trerice, 28, had it coming: In 2004, he enlisted others to help him encase another friend's apartment and most of his belongings in aluminum foil.

The victim of that prank, Chris Kirk, spent nearly two years cleaning up the meticulous coating of foil, which was wrapped around everything from his toilet and CD collection to the individual coins in his spare change.

A giant ball of foil still sits in the basement of Kirk's former apartment building.

The revenge plotting began immediately, and even though Kirk has since moved to Colombia, Jewell and others finished the job for him.

Trerice, who once said he would be insulted if there was no attempt at payback, also was waiting to see what his friends would come up with.

And thus the spirit of the practical joke is preserved. No payback would have been much, much worse, although the foil thing is funnier.

Posted 6/24/2006 11:28:00 AM by Douglas

Another causality of the Wedding-Industrial Complex: Unidentifiable gifts. When you're forced out of obligation to buy a gift, what are the odds you end up buying total crap?

My husband and I received the gerunkensplunk for our wedding five years ago: an object so-named because we couldn't, for the life of us, figure out what it actually was. We even called the store from which it had been purchased and described the thing to the salesgirl. She had no idea. At some point we learned that if you simply leave your gerunkensplunk lying around the kitchen long enough, someday some guest will amble up and begin to use it for its intended purpose. Then you will pounce upon them in wonderment and gratitude, understand its true nature, and finally get on with the business of being happily married.

If only they spent half as much energy on their marriage as they did on their wedding.

Posted 6/24/2006 11:18:00 AM by Douglas

Zieg Heil! I think this one has some plans to invade Poland.

Posted 6/22/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

The tyranny of air conditioning. To say it's not a huge cultural impact on the 20th century would be naive. Is it the biggest culprits in America's energy addiction? I don't think so, but I'm a bit biased. This guy is off his nut:

As a device explicitly designed to outrun the Second Law of Thermodynamics, an air-conditioner vividly illustrates the inevitable destruction caused by all economic activity, a process first described by Nicholas Georgescu-Roegen, the godfather of ecological economics.

Georgescu-Roegen wrote in his 1971 book "The Entropy Law and the Economic Process" that despite the neat, closed-loop flow charts depicted in textbooks, the economic process "is not circular but unidirectional. As far as this facet alone is concerned, the economic process consists of a continuous transformation of low entropy into high entropy, that is, into irrevocable waste."

Hey guess what other device takes useful energy and produces worthless waste heat? Everything in the fucking universe! That's right, breathing oxidizes the useful energy of your blood and creates waste heat that's contributing to the eventual heat death of the planet. Sooner if you're just playing X-box, you worthless sack of shit.

A/C is the primary cause for the explosion in population of the "sun belt" in the last 30 years, and without it, the gulf coast from Brownsville to Miami would be a ghost town.

Who knows what the answer is going to be. I'd like to read this book, though. Maybe I'll check out my air-conditioned library and see if they have a copy.

Posted 6/19/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Once again grey skies tried to flush Houston into the sea like the turd that it is.

More than 10 inches of rain deluged parts of the Gulf Coast on Monday, forcing the evacuation of a Louisiana nursing home and stranding motorists on roads flooded up to waist-deep in Southeast Texas, where National Guard troops were on standby for more storms.

Rain from a second storm had begun to fall in Houston late Monday afternoon, hours after Mayor Bill White toured his city by helicopter and described seeing "block after block after block flooded."

More than 10 inches of rain was reported in the Houston area by the height of the morning rush hour, said Rusty Cornelius, administrative coordinator for Harris County Emergency Management. Almost 6 inches fell in just 75 minutes near Hobby Airport, the National Weather Service reported.

That's a lot of rain, and 10 inches will put dang near anything underwater. I wish I could find it online, but I can understand why this quote would disappear. It was from Mayor Bill White, when asked what kind of upgrades to the drainage infrastructure have been implemented since this happened in 2001 with tropical storm Allison. He looked in the camera, and with a straight face, claimed that all his hard work paid off, and were it not for his efforts, the flooding today would have been much worse.

Not much consolation for those that woke up today with three feet of water in at the foot of their beds.

Posted 6/18/2006 05:02:00 PM by Douglas

Sir Paul turns 64 today, and The New York Times opines saccharinely.

Mr. McCartney, who recently appeared on the cover of AARP magazine, does not appear to be losing his hair yet, despite the song's augury. He has three grandchildren (not the song's "Vera, Chuck and Dave"). He is also the father of a 2-year-old daughter. And while he may not be living his own lyrical vision, Mr. McCartney seems closer to fulfilling Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" than Pete Townshend's "Hope I die before I get old."

Now a billionaire, he has said he has no plans to retire, either as a rock star or an animal-rights advocate (although, at 65, he will be entitled to a basic pension from the British government, at least $156 a week, and a free transit pass).

I'd like to see him in line for his free bus pass.

Posted 6/18/2006 04:39:00 PM by Douglas

For the topologist that has it all: A Klein stein.

I bet it's a bitch to clean.

Posted 6/18/2006 04:37:00 PM by Douglas

Wanna learn how to tie a one-handed bowline? Sure you do.

That guy needs a manicure.

Posted 6/18/2006 04:29:00 PM by Douglas

An NFL star falls off his motorcycle and this prompts mass hysteria about mandatory helmet laws. This has got to be the best one.

But helmets generally save lives and prevent injuries.

At one time all states required helmets, but under pressure from those who advocate "freedom" lawmakers in 30 states have rolled back those laws, including in Ohio and Kentucky.

Over the last decade, deaths in motorcycle crashes have nearly doubled, going up eight straight years even as the total number of miles driven has decreased. Recent federal studies concluded that 700 lives could have been saved in one year alone if they were mandatory.

Honestly, how can you write that with a straight face? Why the hell is "freedom" in quotes? Is that because it's just a figment of our imagination? Think of how many lives would be saved if motorcycles were banned completely, and everyone was transported in padded busses? Kinda reminds me of the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. Something tells me the helmet nuts look at the DHMO site and "don't get it."

Posted 6/17/2006 06:01:00 PM by Douglas

Socialist European country collapsing under its own weight? How could it be?

But things in Sweden are not as good as the advocates would like to believe. Long the paragon of social democracy, the Swedish model is rotting from within. Ironically, the unique social and economic foundation that first allowed Sweden to construct its political edifice--and which makes it such a difficult model for other countries to emulate--has been critically weakened by the system it helped create. Far from a being a solution for the new sick men of Europe, Sweden must face serious and fundamental challenges at the heart of its social model.

As Lincoln said after he promised more federal jobs than he could deliver, "there's too many piglets for the tits."

Texas has over twice the number of people that Sweden has, and we don't even have our own language. Or perhaps we do, y'all.

Posted 6/17/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Fascinating article about Louisiana politics and the man that made it famous, Huey Long. This is the best description of him I've ever heard:

populism gone awry or fascism barely averted

You also gotta love the closer:

“Someday Louisiana is going to get ‘good government,’ ” Earl Long once declared. “And when they do, they ain’t going to like it.”

It'll never happen. Also, I had no idea this quote was from Edwin Edward and not Long:

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy

In the annals of political posturing, that's got to be the best.

Posted 6/17/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

American badass, Virginia Hall

The Wolves at the Door does more than chronicle Hall’s extraordinary career. Pearson gives vivid detail about Hall driving a crude ambulance loaded with wounded while under fire; how she twice escaped the continent; how she got through SOE training with her artificial leg (which she called Cuthbert); the agent problems she dealt with, including the discovery of a Gestapo double-agent; her disguises and her cover work as a milkmaid and farmer’s helper; and how she arranged the escape of several of her agents from a Gestapo prison. We also see something of this remarkable woman’s managerial abilities when Pearson tells how she overcame the reluctance of the French resistance to follow orders from a woman. After the war, Hall’s achievements were to be publicly recognized with the presentation of the Distinguished Service Cross by President Harry Truman. She declined the honor, however, preferring to receive the award without publicity from OSS chief Gen. William Donovan, and thus preserve her cover for clandestine work in the postwar era.

Don't mess with a woman with a wooden leg and still jumps out of an airplane

Posted 6/17/2006 04:59:00 PM by Douglas

Just in time for father's day. The national rochambeau championship, tomorrow, at 11 a.m. CDT, on A&E.

Posted 6/17/2006 04:42:00 PM by Douglas

BushCo.'s Supreme Court appointments showed their true color this week by further chipping away at the fourth amendment, this time with Hudson v. Michigan. Here, read this, it's short.

In Hudson v. Michigan, handed down Thursday, the U.S. Supreme Court carved out yet another "drug war exception" to the Fourth Amendment, which was written to protect Americans from unreasonable searches and seizures of their persons and homes. Unfortunately, the ruling is likely to lead to more military-style no-knock raids of people's homes and businesses, which will mean some innocent people's homes will be raided, and a few people are likely to be killed.

The decision could mean, in effect, that every search warrant becomes a "no-knock" warrant.

Well, that's just great! The fourth gets thrown down the toilet because dope-heads flush their drugs when someone knocks on the door. Even more disturbing is that judges are willing to authorize para-military raids on suspects homes under the cover of darkness, and with guns drawn. Gee, I can't imagine anything bad happening from something like that. For more refutation of Scalia's pipe-smoking, check this out. After all, Mr. Balko was cited in Breyer's dissent.

Posted 6/17/2006 04:19:00 PM by Douglas

World to Airbus: Suck it, commies!

Earlier this week, Airbus - which is 80%-owned by EADS and 20%-owned by the UK's BAE Systems - said problems with wiring meant that it would have to cut its A380 delivery target to nine from an original target of up to 27 in 2007.

EADS also said it expected earnings to be hit by 500m euros ($634m; £342m) a year between 2007 and 2010. The company is predicting that earnings will be dented by a total of 2bn euros.

The A380 will be the world's largest airliner, seating more than 800 passengers across twin decks, and the company has taken 159 firm orders for the plane from 16 carriers, including Emirates, Qantas and Virgin Atlantic.

The worry is that airlines may cancel orders or turn to rival producers such as Boeing, and a number of carriers have said they will be reviewing their deals with Airbus.

Worry no more. Boeing sold two 747 freighters and even one passenger versions of the world's largest production aircraft. But the real story is the 787. While Airbus is trying to use its state-funded influence to pay for modifications needed to upgrade airports to accommodate the gargantuan A380, Boeing's 787 is flying off the shelf. Maybe not literally.

I'll admit I'm a bit biased, but I'll never understand how Airbus could look at the functionality, sales and profitability of the 747 and think they could make it work if it were only bigger.

Posted 6/17/2006 04:00:00 PM by Douglas

Little league where no one kept score came and we did nothing. Soccer came along that gave every kid a trophy, still we did nothing. Where did that lead? To a school with 41 Valedictorians

"At this time, I would like to award all 41 students who have achieved that honor," Meier said as the crowd cheered. "I tell these guys," Meier joked, "the only thing I have in common with them is I rarely received a B in high school myself."

As high school graduates across the region accept their diplomas this month, one tradition has changed greatly. The title of valedictorian -- the coveted top slot for the brainiest student -- is no longer necessarily reserved for the single best student.

A growing number of schools, such as Robinson, bestow the title on every graduate who earns a grade-point average of 4.0 or higher. Montgomery and Howard county schools have done away with the distinction to ease competition in a system that was producing increasingly more 4.0 students. Other districts -- Prince George's and Loudoun counties, Alexandria and the District included -- have stuck with the traditional route: Pick one valedictorian and a salutatorian. (Unless a tie forces a few students to share the glory.)

Not everyone can finish in first place. Unless it's in a public school, where everyone loses.

Posted 6/17/2006 03:57:00 PM by Douglas

Irony, thy name is spellcheck:

Caitlin Campbell couldn't spell collyrium but someone couldn't spell her last name. A billboard went up in this Panhandle city to honor Caitlin's eighth-place finish in the national spelling bee. It reads: "Congratulations! Caitlin Cambell for making Amarillo proud."

Make Amarillo proud, indeed, Caitlin.

Posted 6/17/2006 03:54:00 PM by Douglas

These are just the thing I'm looking for for casual Friday. Be sure and check out the J.J. Casuals video here. "J.J. Casuals, shoes that look like feet!"

Posted 6/11/2006 03:17:00 PM by Douglas

What happens when you design a cheap, reliable rifle that just about any machinist in the world could put together? You end up with a lot of them.

"Whenever I look at TV and I see the weapon I invented to defend my motherland in the hands of these bin Ladens I ask myself the same question: How did it get into their hands?" the 86-year-old Russian gun maker said.

"I didn't put it in the hands of bandits and terrorists and it's not my fault that it has mushroomed uncontrollably across the globe. Can I be blamed that they consider it the most reliable weapon?" he said.

It's not his fault he did such a good job, but there's a reason it's on the flag of Mozambique that he's probably not proud of.

Posted 6/11/2006 02:58:00 PM by Douglas

Observations of strange product description: Windshield washer fluid:

Aside from feeling pretty silly about buying a gallon of smurf piss for your car, I must admit my expectations for this product were pretty low. In fact, I probably wouldn't even give it another thought until I was driving eastwards in the early morning hours and lose the ability to see the car in front of me. That's when I'd remember that I spent $1.07 on this mystery liquid that scrubs the mud off my windshield.

So. . . imagine my amazement when I read the miraculous qualities of this magic elixir:

• Cuts Road Film and Bugs
• Protects to 32ºF Above Zero

By "cuts road film" I assume this means it cleans my windshield, as opposed to editing a Bob Hope & Bing Crosby movie. But it's the other quality that got my attention. First off, having a precursory comprehension of the number line, isn't 32 understood to be a positive number, and thus above zero? But the real question is what does it protect from? Aside from cleaning my window, the only thing I require of this product is that it doesn't burst the reservoir should Hell Houston freeze over. But the last time I checked, water doesn't freeze until it gets 32ºF or lower. So is this telling me it's safe from freezing as long as it stays above 32ºF?

Thanks guys. You thought of everything!

Posted 6/11/2006 02:32:00 PM by Douglas

Yet another example of a teacher gettin' jiggy with a student, but this time there's a bit of a hitch: the student is a legal adult.

The arrest of a high school teacher for allegedly having sex with an 18-year-old student has raised questions about the age constraints of the state's three-year-old law criminalizing student-teacher sexual relationships.

Amy McElhenney, 25, was arrested May 25 and charged with having an improper relationship with a student. The Spanish teacher and former Miss Texas contestant faces up to 20 years in prison.

At the very least, Miss Bexar County should lose her job for having no sense, but 20 years in prison?

State Rep. Helen Giddings, D-Dallas, wrote the Texas law in 2003 that criminalizes sex between educators and students. But she said she wanted the law to apply only to students 17 and younger — uncomfortable with making sex between two legal, consenting adults a felony.

"I feel differently about 17-year-olds than I do about 18-year-olds," Giddings said. "I don't necessarily believe the penalty for the two should necessarily be the same."

Why? 17 years and 360 days old, she does 20 years. 18 years old and it's perfectly legal. It's a pretty silly line to draw, but that's what we've decided is decent, and a high school teacher should have known better.

But other legislators added amendments to Giddings' bill when it reached the floor of the House, making it illegal for educators to have sexual relationships with students of any age. Rep. Warren Chisum, R-Pampa, proposed dropping the age limit, arguing that teachers wield a power over students that diminishes the pupils' ability to consent.

"If they're a student, I just think they're off bounds regardless of their age," Chisum said. "I felt like if we didn't do that, we just virtually made it open season on students that are 18 years old."

Come on, Warren. What about college students? It's just as immoral for a college professor to bang their students for the very reason he mentions, but just because it's immoral doesn't mean it should be illegal. Should any teacher be reprimanded and/or fired for this type of action? Probably, but 20 years in the clink is a bit harsh when you're dealing with two consenting adults.

Posted 6/10/2006 08:47:00 PM by Douglas

Y'all ready for this?

Posted 6/10/2006 08:41:00 PM by Douglas

This week's story of personal data being stolen in mass quantities brought to you by National Nuclear Safety Administration. I wish I were making this stuff up.

A computer hacker got into the U.S. agency that guards the country's nuclear weapons stockpile and stole the personal records of at least 1,500 employees and contractors, a senior U.S. lawmaker said on Friday.

The target of the hacker, the National Nuclear Safety Administration, is the latest agency to reveal that sensitive private information about government workers was stolen.

This is getting a bit ridiculous. See, I read this book. . . It should be required reading for anyone that is responsible for this kind of data.

Posted 6/10/2006 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

Oh, the humanity! Manatees are off the endangered species list.

The state wildlife commission has voted to take the manatee off Florida's endangered species list, saying the animal's population is on the rebound.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission voted unanimously Wednesday to designate the manatee as a threatened species rather than endangered. It also voted to remove the bald eagle from its list of threatened species.

Manatee. . . hmmm, red or white wine? Since it's Florida, I'm going to go with a luke-warm Bud Light.

Posted 6/10/2006 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

Surgery is risky, even when you're not using donated tissue from a cadaver, but something about this story reeks more than unrefregeriated cadaver.

Four days after this routine, elective surgery, Lykins — a healthy, 23-year-old student from Minnesota — died of a raging infection.

He died because the cartilage came from a corpse that had sat unrefrigerated for 19 hours — a corpse that had been rejected by two other tissue banks. The cartilage hadn't been adequately treated to kill bacteria.

None of this broke a single federal rule.

So what if it hasn't broken any federal laws? Federal laws alone haven't killed or saved a single person. Could a federal statue on the use and preservation of cadaver tissue prevented this incident? Maybe, but if companies are scavenging cadavers for parts to sell and failing to take the remedial precautions that most of us take when we buy ice cream at the grocery store, all the federal regulations in the world are only going to annoy those companies are already adhering to sanitary requirements. And why are they doing that now, when no regulations are in place? They don't want to get sued when parts from one of their rotting corpses kills a 23 year old kid.

Posted 6/10/2006 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

More news on the world's oldest analytical computer, the Antikythera Mechanism.

For decades, researchers have been baffled by the intricate bronze mechanism of wheels and dials created 80 years before the birth of Christ.

The "Antikythera Mechanism" was discovered damaged and fragmented on the wreck of a cargo ship off the tiny Greek island of Antikythera in 1900.

Now, a joint British-Greek research team has found a hidden ancient Greek inscription on the device, which it thinks could unlock the mystery.

The team believes the Antikythera Mechanism may be the world's oldest computer, used by the Greeks to predict the motion of the planets.

The researchers say the device indicates a technical sophistication that would not be replicated for millennia and may also be based on principles of a heliocentric, or sun-centred, universe - a view of the cosmos that was not accepted by astronomers until the Renaissance.

It's pretty amazing to think that level of sophistication of machining was available at the time to create a device that could predict the location of the celestial bodies known at the time, not to mention in a heliocentric solar system. Looks like this asks more questions than it answers.

Labels: Antikythera Mechanism

Posted 6/10/2006 05:14:00 PM by Douglas

Colbert was right. Bears are a threat to the safety of every American. Luckily, Jack is on the job:

A black bear picked the wrong yard for a jaunt, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree — twice.

Jack, a 15-pound orange and white cat, keeps a close vigil on his property, often chasing small animals, but his owners and neighbors say his latest escapade was surprising.

"We used to joke, 'Jack's on duty,' never knowing he'd go after a bear," owner Donna Dickey told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Friday's editions.

Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti first spotted Jack's accomplishment after her husband saw a bear climb a tree on the edge of their northern New Jersey property on Sunday. Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat.

And of course, the hilarious picture:

Posted 6/10/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

Two clips from The Daily Show, back when The Colbert Report was on the drawing board. It's kinda sad he didn't turn out to be as rabid as he is in the promos, but it's still funny.

• Promo 1
• Promo 2

Watch those promos if you have the balls. Well do ya? Do you have the balls?

Posted 6/06/2006 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

Do laptops now come pre-loaded with hundreds of thousands of social security numbers on them? It would appear so.

Personal data on about 2.2 million active-duty military, Guard and Reserve personnel — not just 50,000 as initially believed — were among those stolen from a Veterans Affairs employee last month, the government said Tuesday.

VA Secretary Jim Nicholson said the agency was mistaken when it said over the weekend that up to 50,000 Navy and National Guard personnel — and no other active-duty personnel — were affected by the May 3 burglary.

In fact, names, birth dates and Social Security numbers of as many as 1.1 million active-duty personnel from all the armed forces — or 80 percent of all active-duty members — are believed to have been included, along with 430,000 members of the National Guard, and 645,000 members of the Reserves.

Why should I bother to protect this info if no one else is? See, there's this book. . .

Posted 6/06/2006 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

Snakes. On a freakin' plane.

Monty Coles was 900m in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane's instrument panel -- a 1,35m black snake.

Coles had left Charleston earlier for a leisurely flight alone over the West Virginia countryside last Saturday in his Piper Cherokee and was preparing to land in Gallipolis, Ohio, when the snake revealed itself.

"Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this," the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident said. But the advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor immediately came to mind: "No matter what happens, fly the plane."

Fly the plane. The first and last most important thing for a pilot to learn. But it gets funnier:

An attempt to swat the snake only resulted in it falling to Coles's feet under the rudder pedals. It then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

"There was no way I was letting that thing go. It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling," Coles said.

The next step was to radio for emergency landing clearance.

"They came back and asked what my problem was. I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in."

You know if anyone on the ground was a farker, they were laughing their arses off. "Samuel L. Jackson, you're cleared for landing."

Posted 6/05/2006 11:52:00 PM by Douglas

Welcome to Texas, your papers please.

Pop open that cooler, sir.

Starting Tuesday, vehicles and passengers will be subject to screening before boarding the Galveston-Port Bolivar ferries.

Why mention the cooler? Does the ferry have different alcohol laws than any other Texas roadway does?

William Mallini, the ferry operations manager, said he believes fireworks are prohibited, but that firearms for which the owner has a permit are allowed. Alcohol regulations on the ferry are the same as on the highway, he said.

So why mention it? Because it makes for a good story, and diverts attention from the real story: Homeland Security:

The random screenings are part of the U.S. Coast Guard Homeland Security program and will be conducted by SeaWolf Marine Patrol, a security firm, under direction of the Texas Department of Transportation.

Motorists who refuse will not be allowed to board, TxDOT said.

Local TxDOT spokeswoman Janelle Gbur said screeners do not reveal what they will be looking for, and she did not know what items are banned.

So TxDOT has hired a private security firm to "screen" those entering the Bolivar ferry, yet they have no idea what they're "screening" for?

For the sake of equal time, here's the Fourth Amendment:

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Get a warrant, ferry boy.

Posted 6/05/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

This story needs no introduction, so I shan't even try.

Gun-toting Texans can relax about one concern this hurricane season: The state has no plans to disarm residents in the wake of a big storm.

A questioner got big applause at Brazoria County's hurricane preparedness conference Thursday when he asked whether law enforcement agencies were going to demand that private citizens surrender their firearms after a storm.

Honestly, I can't believe the question was even asked. Taking guns away from Texans? How many people died during Hurricane Rita because pets weren't accepted at shelters, and they think Houstonians are going to leave their guns behind? Give me a break.

Texas Department of Public Safety Sgt. Randy Jones said taking firearms from citizens has never been part of a state plan.

He recalled going to Bridge City after that town was slammed by Hurricane Rita in September and seeing a homemade sign that read, "You loot, we shoot."

Residents conducted armed patrols to make sure that homes and businesses were secure, he said. State troopers going into the damaged area assisted the patrols, rather than stopping them.

Damn straight. Who can police a community better than the community? But for the obvious statement of the year, you gotta hang around for this one:

"The locals know much better who belongs in their neighborhoods than a DPS trooper who may be from as far away as Lubbock," Jones said. "If you're guarding your neighbor's home with a shotgun, nobody is going to bother you.

I don't care where the guy is from, the guy with the shotgun is always right. Unless it's your TV. Then, return fire.

Also, Texas law says you can carry your gun in your car pretty much any damn time you feel like it, so why should that be any different during a hurricane?

Posted 6/04/2006 04:22:00 PM by Douglas

Perspective, people

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

Never, even for a second, fail to accept just how small and insignificant you really are.

Posted 6/04/2006 04:12:00 PM by Douglas

For those of you that are waiting for MicroSoft's new OS to come out, don't say that you weren't warned.

Well, Microsoft just upped the ante on internal conflict with the release of Vista Beta 2. It boils down to this: The software giant is favoring security and IT controls over end-user productivity. Don't get me wrong, security and IT manageability are very good things. But some of the people actually using the Beta 2 Vista software describe their experience as akin to that of a rat caught in a maze.

Business and home users will be nonplussed by the blizzard of protect-you-from-yourself password-entry and "Continue" boxes required by the User Account Controls feature, for example. Networking functions and settings are scattered all over the place. The same is true of what Windows XP calls Display Properties. By default, the main menus (you know, File, Edit, View, etc.) are turned off on Windows Vista folders, Internet Explorer 7 and several other programs and utilities that come with Vista. Listing 20 things you won't like about Windows Vista was unfortunately all too easy. The question is: Why couldn't Microsoft see this coming?

They haven't made any attempts to obfuscate the fact that they steal all their good ideas from Macintosh, but I was really surprised to see the screen captures of Vista and how much it looks like Mac's OSX.

Get XP while you still can!

Posted 6/04/2006 03:58:00 PM by Douglas

And for the next story of people that are out of control with their computers, we have to go to the Governor's Mansion in Austin.

A US state is to enlist web users in its fight against illegal immigration by offering live surveillance footage of the Mexican border on the internet.

The plan will allow web users worldwide to watch Texas' border with Mexico and phone the authorities if they spot any apparently illegal crossings.

Texas Governor Rick Perry said the cameras would focus on "hot-spots and common routes" used to enter the US.

What could possibly go wrong? When is this election year bullshit going to stop?

Posted 6/04/2006 03:26:00 PM by Douglas

Is it just me, or are video games completely out of Control?

Okay, so we've got Christian paramilitary forces loose on the streets of New York, fighting to turn the United States into a theocracy, and shouting "Praise the Lord!" as they blow away those who refuse to convert. In the virtual world of Left Behind only the conservative Evangelical Christians were "raptured" - spirited into heaven for the big Super Bowl party and skybox seats to the ultimate battle between absolute theocracy and the absolutely AntiChrist. So who's "left behind" to blow away? Catholics, mainstream moderate Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, atheists, suspiciously well-groomed men, lesbians, and conservative Evangelicals who are closet gays. (As Congressman Barney Franks (D-Massively Funny) has said, "Throw the gays out of church? Who do you think has been playing the damn organ all these years?") Blowing away these good folk ("Praise the Lord!") - is that supposed to be the "Christian stuff" or the "cool stuff"?

Wow. Why do they need to take out their wrath on the unholy? Isn't that the job for a vengeful god?

And on the same page is the Columbine role-playing game. What's wrong with these people? Whatever happened to Space Invaders and Frogger?

Posted 6/01/2006 05:11:00 PM by Douglas

A Welcome mat like this couldn't hurt, but a couple of these are better.

Posted 6/01/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

The dumbest, most dangerous power grab to come out of the DWI madness yet: California allowing warrantless entry into people's home to check suspected drunk drivers.

SAN FRANCISCO Police may enter Californians' homes without warrants to arrest those suspected of driving under the influence, the California Supreme Court ruled Thursday in a case testing the scope of the Fourth Amendment right to be free from unreasonable searches and seizures.

Under the Fourth Amendment, authorities are prohibited from entering a home and making an arrest without a warrant unless so-called "exigent" circumstances are present. Those include "hot pursuit" of a fleeing felon, imminent destruction of evidence and the risk of danger to the police or other persons inside or outside of a house, among others.

In this case, Justice Marvin Baxter wrote that the loss of evidence at issue was obtaining a measurement of the suspect's blood-alcohol level. Baxter added that a contrary ruling would allow "the corruption of evidence that occurs when the suspect takes advantage of any delay to ingest more alcohol -- or to claim to have done so -- or when the suspect evades police capture until he or she is no longer intoxicated."

Hold on a second. I thought this was America? Don't the police have to actually catch you doing something illegal in order to arrest you? Apparently not in California. If I back my car out of my driveway to move it to the adjacent garage while I'm shit-faced drunk, I'm equally as culpable of DWI as the guy that drove cross-town during rush hour, and that's fine if that's how you want to define the DWI laws, but put that in context with breaking someone's door down to find the "drunk driver". At what point do you decided that "exigent" powers aren't the norm, but the problem itself?

The problem with this is that police are going to use the "exigent search" excuse to kick in any door they want. Two examples come to mind. The first is that the driver is minimally drunk (somewhat less than the ridiculously low 0.08% BAL established in most states) and drives home, goes inside and chugs a bottle of Beam. Obviously this ruins the officer's case, as they can't prove to what degree the driver was intoxicated if they witnessed him down a bottle of whiskey, legally, on their own premises. The second example is when the presumed drunk driver is above the 0.08% limit, makes it home and sleeps it off, yet the police show up ten minutes later, kick down the door and require a blood test. Are either scenarios less exigent? Are they less ludicrous?

But of course, that's not what the cops are saying:

Baxter and the majority was cautious in saying the decision would not give police carte blanche powers.

Well what else would Baxter say? Police and prosecutors promised not to abuse such powers? Has this ever happened? He gets worse:

"In holding that exigent circumstances justified the warrantless entry here, we need not decide, and do not hold, that the police may enter a home without a warrant to effect an arrest of a DUI suspect in every case," Baxter wrote.

"In every case." You read it here first. If you drive home at 0.07, but the cops even think you were drunk, they can bust down your door, sans warrant, and draw your blood, and throw you in jail. Regardless if you drove home stone sober, closed the door to your private residence, and downed a bottle of Cutty Sark in five minutes.

Is this America, or the Soviet Russia we supposedly defeated to which I'm referring? I can no longer tell.

If you swerve across the middle line on your way home, the State now is justified in kicking down your door and forcibly taking your blood.. Surely I'm not the only one troubled by this.