Posted 10/30/2006 05:58:00 PM by Douglas

Hard to believe NPR has the stones to make fun of Bush's "the google" statement while using the term "internet blogs."

President Bush is still catching grief on Internet blogs for his response to a question from CNBC on whether he'd ever Googled anybody. The president called the search company "the Google." Bloggers have been reminding anyone who will listen about the president's reference during a 2004 debate to "the Internets."

Way to go, NPR. They have blogs on the Internet now? What a great way to show how un-hip the President is by falling and breaking yours.

Geez. I can't believe there's enough white, liberal guilt that compels anyone to give a dime to your pointless pledge beg-a-thons every year. Enjoy your tote-bag, suckers!

Posted 10/30/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

This is kinda funny, although I know it's really un-funny.

Why is there no public outrage as to what sort of torture is allowed, endorsed and encouraged by our own government?

Posted 10/30/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

More on yesterday's grow-up article. I adore this sentiment.

Ignore celebrities, except when they are doing what they are celebrated for doing: acting, playing football et cetera. Skill does not confer moral, political or intellectual discrimination. (Except in the case of writers. Writers know everything and can lecture you with impunity.) If a celebrity is not celebrated for doing anything but being a celebrity, smile politely but pay no notice.

If even that. Your job is to look pretty and shake your ass. Do it and shut your fucking pie hole. Unless you want politicians getting into the entertainment industry.

Posted 10/30/2006 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like a Badyear for 1,100 tire makers in Tyler, Texas.

Troubled global tire giant Goodyear said it was shutting down a 44-year-old plant in Texas with the loss of 1,100 jobs.

Goodyear, which has been suffering a strike at another plant in Alabama for more than three weeks, said it would incur a charge of 155 million to 165 million dollars as a result of closing the plant at Tyler, Texas.

The facility at Tyler, which opened in 1962, produces about 25,000 tires for passenger cars and light trucks a day.

Goodyear said the small-diameter passenger tires made at Tyler have "been under considerable pressure from low-cost imports".

Those pesky low-cost imports. I can't believe Texans in Tyler won't work for $7 a day. What wrong with them? To preserve our nation's manufacturing base, I'm sure these 1,100 workers can get a job manufacturing burgers.

Posted 10/30/2006 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

Not to go off in my Mr. Pink rant, but tipping is for the birds. And I got two words for these idiots. Learn to type. 'Cause if they expect me to help out with the rent, they got another think coming.

Servers across the nation are speaking up about pay. But in South Florida in particular, with its influx of international tourists, servers wait on many visitors who are unfamiliar with the 15 percent tipping custom in the United States. Some restaurants, such as those in South Beach, automatically include tips on the bill because of international tourists. Yet other tourist-heavy areas, including Sawgrass Mills in Sunrise, don't automatically include gratuity.

And after years of dealing with paltry tips from international diners, Rivera supports the efforts of an online organization to boost tips.

That's the #1 responsibility of a traveler: To learn what's expected of him when he's in a foreign land, so if Germans in Florida are stiffin' you at Appleby's, hey learn German. But what's more disturbing is the sense of entitlement. Servers are entitled top 15% no matter what? Then tack it on the bill for my salmon, pay your server something above minimum wage, and everyone's happy. Right? Wrong.

With your continued support, we are actively pursuing reform with the N.R.A. (National Restaurant Association) so as to add a set 20% service charge to every check. This standardization will allow restaurant owners to maintain control of their costs while at the same time allowing servers to be paid fair wages. The service charge will also help eliminate the uncertainty in the mind of the customer when deciding what amount to leave for the server.

Ya know what would totally "eliminate the uncertainty" of the customer when it comes to paying for something he's purchased? If the damn final price was printed on the bill. Come on, morons.

Imagine going to buy a TV and having to pay an extra 20% for "service" from the high school drop-out that told you want HD meant? Is this money well spent, or are you going to go somewhere that doesn't have such moronic business practices?

This is a market question. Food prices have been kept artifically low at restaurants at the expense of the server, because you didn't have to tip them. Get rid of obligatory tipping, pay servers in proportion to their service, and all will be well.

Posted 10/29/2006 01:28:00 PM by Douglas

It's a sad state of affairs for Bush with the Neo-Con sycophants at National Review think invading Iraq was a mistake.

There’s a strict taboo in the column-writing business against recycling ideas. So let me start with something fresh.

The Iraq war was a mistake.

Wow, works for me. Kinda a different story NR was touting back in 2002, when the impetus was on the other side to come up with a reason not to go to war.

Posted 10/29/2006 01:23:00 PM by Douglas

Flu shots do nothing.

Flu vaccines may be a massive waste of time and money, an expert warned today. There is little medical evidence that the vaccines have any kind of beneficial effect, even for vulnerable people with asthma and cystic fibrosis, he said.

Vaccines given to children under the age of two have the same effect as if they were given a dummy drug, he added.

Ha! Told ya, suckers!

Posted 10/29/2006 01:17:00 PM by Douglas

This one really cracked me up. Two species of humans. I suspect the difference will begin with those that think that Borat is funny, and those that aren't retarded.

Evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics expects a genetic upper class and a dim-witted underclass to emerge.

The human race would peak in the year 3000, he said - before a decline due to dependence on technology.

People would become choosier about their sexual partners, causing humanity to divide into sub-species, he added.

The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

Squat goblin-like creatures? This is going to take 1,000 years? Obviously this researcher hasn't been to the mall lately.

Posted 10/29/2006 01:11:00 PM by Douglas

Grow up already.

The crucial difference is my grandfather's lack of self-consciousness, and that self-consciousness is a hallmark of the perpetual, infantilised adolescents we have all become, monsters of introspection hovering twitchily on the edge of self-obsession, occasionally aware that the life that exists only to be examined is barely manageable; barely, indeed, a life.

Nobody had a lifestyle then, because there was nobody to tell them to, and anyway they were too busy having lives.

I really appreciate the Lego guy at the top of the article, and the number of adults that re-enact Star Wars with Legos.

Posted 10/29/2006 01:02:00 PM by Douglas

Lots of interesting stuff on the ring finger.

A new study in a British medical journal finds a link between the relative length of a woman's index and ring fingers and her athletic prowess. The research takes its place among dozens of other studies tying that ratio -- known in finger-measurement circles as 2D:4D (the relationship between the length of the second digit, 2D, and the fourth) -- to all manner of physical and psychological traits, from breast cancer risk to schizophrenia.

Digit ratio, as the measurement is called, has been found to relate to left-handedness and autism, to hyperactivity and bullying in children, eating disorders in women and depression in men.

Also sign of aggressive men.

The length of a man's fingers can reveal how physically aggressive he is, Canadian scientists have said.

The shorter the index finger is compared to the ring finger, the more boisterous he will be, University of Alberta researchers said.

But the same was not true for verbal aggression or hostile behaviours, they told the journal Biological Psychology after studying 300 people's fingers.

The trend is thought to be linked to testosterone exposure in the womb.

Of course, there's a wiki article.

Posted 10/28/2006 04:58:00 PM by Douglas

Bush's wall becomes law last week:

President Bush signed into law on Thursday a bill providing for construction of 700 miles of added fencing along the Southwestern border, calling the legislation “an important step toward immigration reform.”

The new law is what most House Republicans wanted. But it is not what Senate Republicans or Mr. Bush originally envisioned, and at the signing, in the Roosevelt Room of the White House, the president repeated his call for a far more extensive revamping of immigration law.

A broader measure, approved by the Senate last spring, would have not only enhanced border security but also provided for a guest worker program and the possibility of eventual citizenship for many illegal immigrants already in the country.

Just don't call it amnesty.

Posted 10/28/2006 04:52:00 PM by Douglas

"Shining city on the hill" my fat ass.

Dick Cheney, US vice-president, has endorsed the use of "water boarding" for terror suspects and confirmed that the controversial interrogation technique was used on Khaled Sheikh Mohammed, the senior al-Qaeda operative now being held at Guantánamo Bay.

Mr Cheney was responding to a conservative radio interviewer who asked whether water boarding, which involves simulated drowning, was a "no-brainer" if the information it yielded would save American lives. "It's a no-brainer for me," Mr Cheney replied.

So "simulating" drowning is O.K., according to Cheney. I wonder if "real" drowning is O.K. for Cheney.

Posted 10/28/2006 04:50:00 PM by Douglas

Yet another disgusting story about the war on drugs. This time, Fort Bend County, Texas

"It was bang, bang, bang, then there was a boom as they broke the door in, threw the fire grenade, and then shot the dog," said homeowner Margot Allen. "This all happened in anywhere from five to fifteen seconds."

That's how Allen's son and boyfriend describe what happened that day. Sugar Land police acted on a tip. They say they found traces of marijuana and cocaine in her trash after a month-long investigation.

"There's no crack done in my house," she said. "There's occasional marijuana in my house. I don't do it because I don't happen to like it."

Based on the evidence in the trash, a regional SWAT team arrived at the home. Police say they knocked, waited 30 seconds, and then broke in with guns and a concussion grenade. The house suffered $5,000 damage and one officer shot and killed Margot's golden lab, Shadow, when police say it charged toward one of the officers. What did officers find inside?

"A joint half the size of my pinky fingernail and then one about this big," she said, showing a length on her finger. "And not anywhere near this big around."

Wow. A single joint, and a SWAT team kicks in your door and shoots your dog. Not at crack-house, but a suburban Houston home. Not a pit bull or a rottweiler, but a Labrador. Where is the public outrage? Is the majority of the population so complacent that they think this is a suitable response from law enforcement for a single joint? I suppose so.

The Sugar Land Police Department declined an on-camera interview, but they are defending their actions, saying they followed protocol to the letter.

Well that answers that. Police are justified in using diversionary grenades, kicking in doors, discharging fire arms at the family pet, all for one joint! It's not disturbing that this is out template for the Fort Bend County SWAT team, it's that this conforms with their protocol to the letter. Wake up, America, it's time to protect ourselves from the drug war.

Posted 10/28/2006 04:26:00 PM by Douglas

Another less-than brilliant idea from Airbus.

Airbus signed a framework agreement with the Chinese authorities on Thursday to build its first aircraft assembly plant outside Europe, at Tianjin in eastern China.

It also agreed a preliminary deal for its biggest single order from China, for 170 aircraft, which could eventually be worth about $14bn (€11bn) at list prices, before heavy discounts.

Airbus, a subsidiary of EADS, Europe's leading aerospace and defence group, is seeking to extend its industrial operations beyond its European base in France, Germany, Spain and the UK, and has made China a priority target both for increased sales and industrial co-operation.

Why the hell does China need to place an order for aircraft if they're getting the whole damn factory? Good move, Airbus, just give it all away why don't ya!

Posted 10/28/2006 04:21:00 PM by Douglas

Great list of neologisms. A few of my favourites:

• Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
• Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

I know way too many of those.

Posted 10/28/2006 04:16:00 PM by Douglas

Of all the people that should be angry/ashamed of this reprehensible attack ad in Tennessee's senatorial race, I wouldn't have thought it was have been the Canadians.

Whatever its intent, the aside is seen in Canada as a suggestion that the country is a free rider when it comes to global security. While Canada did not participate in the invasion of Iraq, it has posted a large portion of its army in Afghanistan as part of NATO forces since 2002. On Wednesday, Michael Wilson, Canada’s ambassador to the United States, spoke with an official at the White House, whom the Canadian government declined to name, to officially express Canada’s displeasure.

Bernard Etzinger, a spokesman for the Canadian Embassy in Washington, would not discuss the conversation beyond saying, “They took the call and listened to what we had to say.”

The advertisement, financed by the Republican National Committee, was pulled from the air on Wednesday after Democrats and the N.A.A.C.P. criticized some of its content as an attack based on racial stereotypes and fears.

In the advertisement, actors in staged interviews speak sarcastically about Mr. Ford and his positions. They include a white actress who says that she met Mr. Ford, who is black, at a “Playboy party.” She looks into the camera and says, with a wink, “Harold, call me.”

Disgusting. What's even more sad is that as stupid and polarizing as ads like this are, they obviously work.

Posted 10/24/2006 05:55:00 PM by Douglas

Here's an interesting question: How much meth do nuclear secrets from Los Alamos actually buy you?

A drug bust at a trailer park in New Mexico turned up what appeared to be classified documents taken from the Los Alamos nuclear weapons laboratory, authorities said Tuesday.

Local police found the documents while arresting a man suspected of domestic violence and dealing methamphetamine from his mobile home, said Sgt. Chuck Ney of the Los Alamos, N.M., Municipal Police Department. The documents were discovered during a search of the man's records for evidence of his drug business, Ney said.

Methamphetamine is a powerful drug. A couple of kilotons, at least.

Posted 10/24/2006 05:51:00 PM by Douglas

Please be careful if you're wrecker driver that repossesses cars

A dispute between a wrecker driver and car owner escalated into gunfire followed by a high-speed chase that ended when the vehicle in tow broke loose and crashed into a taco stand in northeast Harris County, sheriff's deputies said.

The wrecker driver was taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital with multiple gunshot wounds. Deputies were questioning the vehicle's owners and family.

The wrecker told deputies that he was towing a repossessed vehicle from a residence in northeast Houston when the owners drove up. A chase ensued and the owners fired multiple gunshots at the wrecker before he lost control on the Eastex Freeway feeder at Darwin. The car he was towing during the chase broke loose and crashed into a taco stand, deputies said.

The owners accused the wrecker of trying to steal their car. They also alleged that the wrecker driver drove his truck into their car before fleeing with their other vehicle in tow.

Ouch.

Posted 10/24/2006 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

I'd have to buy a separate hard drive if I had any intention of keeping every article from chicken-little environmentalists that told me that the sky is falling. But for some reason, I'm fascinated by them, and this one is no different. No different than the 1,000s of other articles that say that mankind, specifically Western-American mankind is destroying the planet. So let's dig in:

Humans are stripping nature at an unprecedented rate and will need two planets' worth of natural resources every year by 2050 on current trends, the WWF conservation group said on Tuesday.

Two planets? Shit, we better start looking for that second one. I don't think Mars is going to cooperate.

"For more than 20 years we have exceeded the earth's ability to support a consumptive lifestyle that is unsustainable and we cannot afford to continue down this path," WWF Director-General James Leape said, launching the WWF's 2006 Living Planet Report.

Hold the phone, Jim. "Exceeded the earth's ability to support a consumptive lifestyle?" Then explain to me why it's only the areas with consumptive lifestyles that seem to be able to manage the resources that are present? It may be inequitable, but it certainly hasn't exceeded the earth's capacity.

"If everyone around the world lived as those in America, we would need five planets to support us," Leape, an American, said in Beijing.

Ok, fair 'nuff, and I can feel guilty about my decadent lifestyle, but what is this saying? Obviously it would behoove most Americans to err on the side of conservation, but if everyone lived in a mud hut, we'd only need half of the world. Is relegating humanity to third world conditions for the sake of the rest of the world being pristine somehow advantageous? How, exactly? But here's the rub:

"Humanity's footprint has more than tripled between 1961 and 2003," it said. Consumption has outpaced a surge in the world's population, to 6.5 billion from 3 billion in 1960. U.N. projections show a surge to 9 billion people around 2050.

So there's some magical tradeoff, some leftist's conversion card that determines what's an acceptable quantity of the earth's resources to consume as a function of how many people are consuming them. One wasteful American's resources could sustain five other people if we all lived like cavemen. Again, how is this advantageous? The same amount of the earth's resources are being consumed, the same impact to the precious earth is occurring. There's just five more people, dare I say, one fifth as comfortable. How could this devolution possibly be viewed as progress?

And as a footnote, the biggest ecological disaster this century will be China. With the manufacturing base of the West moving to China, their appetite for energy (and waste) will grow without bound in the coming decades. What then?

Leape said China, home to a fifth of the world's population and whose economy is booming, was making the right move in pledging to reduce its energy consumption by 20 percent over the next five years.

Yeah freakin' right. Wal-Mart is building factories to make their crap faster than they can borrow the money (from China). If China restrains their energy consumption growth by 20% in the next five years, it will be a miracle.

So, sleep tight, environ-fascist, knowing that the pithy bumpersticker you put on your Volvo doesn't do quite as much for mother earth as not driving it. I, at least, appreciate the sentiment, but then again, I'm a huge fan of irony.

Posted 10/24/2006 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Those that would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety

Tony Blair called yesterday for the national DNA database to be expanded to include every citizen.

He said there should be no limit on the development of the database because it was vital for catching serious criminals.

The Conservatives accused him of attempting to expand the DNA database by stealth and called for Parliament to vote on whether details of people who were innocent or not charged should be included against their wishes.

Ahh, the good old days. When you had to be accused of something before you had to submit to a government needle in your arm.

Posted 10/24/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

I'll admit I'm feeling particularly stupid and worthless today, so this is gonna come across as a cheap shot (which it is) but for some reason, I find this hilarious. Good to know Bush uses "the google" for his web searching needs. Cause sometimes "the internets" can be a daunting place.

Posted 10/24/2006 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

For some reason, this is a lot more common than you'd think.

Three-year-old Robert Moore went fishing for a stuffed replica of Sponge Bob and ended up trapped in a vending machine. The toddler's adventure began with a Saturday evening shopping trip with his grandmother, Fredricka Bierdemann, and three siblings.

Bierdemann ended the trip by giving each child a dollar and telling them to have fun in a retailer's game room.

A stuffed Sponge Bob in a vending machine's bin caught Robert's eye. He tried without success to fish it out with a plastic crane.

"I told him I could get it for him," his grandmother said. "He's a character. He said, 'Oh no, I can get it.'"

When she turned her back to get another dollar for a second try, Robert took off his coat and squeezed through an opening in the machine. He landed in the stuffed animal cube.

"I turned around and looked for him, and he said, 'Oma, I'm in here," Bierdemann said. "I thought I would have a heart attack."

Store employees couldn't find a key to the machine, so Robert waited while the Antigo Fire Department was called.

Firemen, always with the firemen. Why do they get called out for crap like this? Are there no kittens in trees to rescue? I think there's a parallel to that old joke about how pointless it is to get firemen to rescue kittens from trees: How often do you see a cat skeleton in a tree? They got up there, they'll figure it out.

Same could be said for the coin operated crane game. I've never seen a kid skeleton in one of those things. Just leave 'em in there and let them figure out how to get out. And if someone comes by with a quarter and gets lucky fishing him out, more power to ya! That's just one more manure scooper for the dairy!

Is there some reasons two of these incidents happened in Wisconsin?

Posted 10/23/2006 05:58:00 PM by Douglas

I need a patch kit for a 737. Yeah, that's some duct tape and a shit load of bond-o.

A Continental flight headed from Houston Bush Intercontinental Airport to West Palm Beach was temporarily delayed this evening when the wing of the moving aircraft smashed into an adjacent parked plane that already had unloaded its passengers.

"The airplane that was moving backed up and the right wing came into contact with the stabilizer" of the stationary plane, said Continental spokesman David Messing. The stabilizer is the horizontal surface of the plane's tail.

The damaged airplanes, both Boeing 737s, are going to require repairs, Messing said.

I guess the rear-view mirror was optional.

Posted 10/21/2006 11:14:00 AM by Douglas

More trouble for the behemoth from Airbus. It ain't good when your break-even point increases by over 50%. [Thanks, long-time reader!]

European aircraft maker Airbus has raised the number of A380 superjumbos it needs to sell to make a profit on the project.

The A380 programme has been beset by huge cost over-runs and long delays.

The firm's parent company EADS now says it needs to sell 420 A380s to break even, up from a previous estimate of 270 aircraft.

But in a presentation to analysts and investors, EADS chief financial officer Andreas Sperl said that the planemaker still expected to sell more than 750 of its new planes over the life of the project.

Well good luck with that, commies! All this comes just a few months after they upped the price on this disaster. 420 planes at $300 million each? It's going to take $126 Billion before they turn a profit on this nightmare? Geez. I doubt it, but maybe they'll make it. I know $126 Billion buys a lot of 747s, and Boeing is ready when you are, FedEx and UPS.

Posted 10/21/2006 11:11:00 AM by Douglas

Socialist labor practices are only good for some people in France, apparently.

A French court ruling that the 35 hour working week must apply in hotels, bars and restaurants triggered uproar in the hospitality industry, amid dire warnings that it will impoverish staff and jeopardize many struggling businesses.

On Wednesday the country's highest administrative court -- the state council -- decided that a 2004 deal under which the 850,000 employees in hotels, bars and restaurants can work 39 hours a week instead of 35 contravenes the key reform of the last Socialist Party (PS) government.

What a friggin' nightmare.

Posted 10/21/2006 11:08:00 AM by Douglas

Amarillo: home of quarter horses, cows, and plutonium research.

The nuclear arms plant near Amarillo could see an enhanced weapons dismantlement role and compete to become a center for plutonium research, according to a National Nuclear Security Administration plan.

The Pantex Plant is to keep nuclear weapons assembly, dismantlement and high-explosives fabrication, according to the NNSA proposal. The plan calls for maintaining but would still reduce weapons assembly capacity and high-explosives fabrication work at Pantex.

Thomas D'Agostino, the NNSA's deputy administrator for defense programs, said Pantex will focus more on dismantlement as the U.S. scales back its inventory to between 1,700 and 2,200 operational nuclear weapons by 2012.

What?!? Only 2,000 operational nukes? What if Liechtenstein gets the bomb? Is that going to be enough to deter them?

Posted 10/21/2006 11:03:00 AM by Douglas

Remember that teacher that got fired for taking her class to the Dallas Museum of Art where they saw some nude art? It looks like she settled with the school board.

The elementary school art teacher who said she was fired because a student saw a nude piece on a field trip to a Dallas museum is close to reaching a settlement with her former school district.

The Frisco school board is likely to vote Monday on an agreement that would pay Sydney McGee her $56,700 salary for the rest of the school year and prevent her from suing the district.

A group of elected officials, the FISD, are a bunch of knuckle dragging troglodytes, but who suffers for their incompetence? The taxpayers that have to pay for this settlement and hire her replacement. Art has no place in education in Frisco, apparently.

Posted 10/21/2006 10:51:00 AM by Douglas

Texas population, projected to 2040.

If Texas keeps growing as it has for the first half of this decade, the emptying trend in rural counties will accelerate and growth will virtually stall in many mid-sized urban pockets, according to new estimates released this week by the Texas State Data Center.

"What it probably calls attention to in a broad sense is that there's really some rural development issues that are pretty clear for West Texas, or they'll have some severe population loss in some areas," said Murdock, who cautions the projections merely show what Texas would look like at current growth rates and are not predictions.

Where rural Texas would decline, the Houston area would burst at the seams. Steady growth at the pace set from 2000 to 2004 would put Harris County at 6.6 million residents by 2040, nearly doubling since the 2000 census.

Lots of speculation in this, but not really a rosy outlook. $3 a gallon for gas and a 90 minute daily commute may have a lot to do to spur the growth of smaller towns.

Posted 10/21/2006 10:46:00 AM by Douglas

More on Houston's smoking ban. It's a bitch trying to figure out who is exempt and who isn't.

The city's new smoking ordinance promises clearer air by adding locations where people can't light up, but is a little hazy about where they can.

The ordinance, approved by the City Council on Wednesday, bans smoking in most workplaces, including bars, starting next September. It includes an array of exemptions: outdoor patios, cigar shops, tobacco bars, hotel and motel rooms, and private rooms in nursing homes.

Why is there an exemption? Either second-hand smoke is the scourge of humanity and must be stopped, or it's at best, an annoyance. If it's a threat to my health in a bar, it's a threat to my health on a patio. So what about "cigar bars?"

The new ordinance specifies what qualifies as a cigar shop: an establishment that brings in at least 60 percent of its revenue from tobacco product sales.

It also defines a tobacco bar, where sales of smoking products for use at the establishment must exceed 20 percent of revenue. To qualify, tobacco bars must use an air-ventilation system, buy a permit from the city and offer health insurance for employees. They also must have been in operation by Sept. 1 of this year, which prevents bar owners from changing the nature of their business to qualify after the ban goes into effect.

For a while it wasn't abundantly clear that this ordinance wasn't all about money, so I'm glad the city council has shown their true intentions. So second-hand smoke isn't dangerous if you buy a permit from the city to allow it? It's all starting to make sense now. But this goes way too far:

The only exemption included in White's proposal that was rejected by the council was for private functions held by nonprofit organizations at their own facilities.

Their own facilities? How the hell can the city tell anyone what to do in their own, private, facilities? Dennis Leary was right: They'll be kicking down our doors to confiscate our Marlboros in no time.

Posted 10/21/2006 10:23:00 AM by Douglas

I can't imagine the desperation of waiting 11 years on death row, and apparently neither could this guy.

Even as his attorney worked on last-minute appeals to save him from a Thursday night execution, death row inmate Michael DeWayne Johnson slashed his throat with a makeshift knife. The dying inmate then used his blood to write a final message on the wall of his cell: "I did not shoot him."

Prison spokeswoman Michelle Lyons said Johnson cut his jugular vein and an artery in his right arm with a blade fastened to what appeared to be Popsicle sticks. He was last seen alive at 2:30 a.m. as guards made their regular four-times-an-hour death-watch check of his cell.

Sitting in prison for 11 years and then killing yourself with a Popsicle stick? How horrible.

Lyons said Johnson spoke with guards and gave no indication he planned to take his own life. No suicide note was found.

Um, unless you count the "I did not shoot him" written on the wall with his own blood.

I don't really want to get off on a death penalty rant, but stories like this are sickening. I don't have a problem with guilty people being executed, but the probability of innocent people getting zapped is not zero, and it's left to the State to make that determination. The state can't effectively pave roads or provide proper drainage for its cities. I have a real problem with giving that much power to the same state that can't figure out that water runs downhill.

Posted 10/20/2006 05:55:00 PM by Douglas

Scalia speaks. At Georgetown, and takes some interesting questions:

Georgetown students attending the lecture had questions not only about Scalia’s views on education, but on hot topics such as the sale of medicinal marijuana, campaign finance reform and censorship of high school newspapers.

One student asked whether Scalia believed the 2000 decision in Bush v. Gore was an example of judicial activism. In its 7-2 ruling, the court effectively halted the recount of presidential ballots in Florida, resulting in the nomination of George W. Bush as president.

"My first response to that question always is, it's six years ago. Get over it!" Scalia said. He then explained that "It surely is not activist to apply the text of the Constitution, which is what the court did."

If all they do is "apply the text of the Constitution," why is the vote not unanimous? Of course it's activism, even if it's personal. But what about SCOTUS Cam?:

Another student asked for Scalia's thoughts on providing television coverage of Supreme Court proceedings, similar to broadcasts of Congressional sessions.

"That's a fair question for someone who has sounded off the way I have," Scalia said. "If I thought that cameras in the Supreme Court would really educate the people, I would be all for it. But I think it would miseducate and misinform."

Most of the time the court is dealing with "bankruptcy code, the internal revenue code, [the labor law] ERISA -- stuff only a lawyer would love. Nobody's going to be watching that gavel-to-gavel except a few C-SPAN junkies," he said.

"For every one of them, there will be 100,000 people who will see maybe 15 second take-out on the network news, which I guarantee you will be uncharacteristic of what the Supreme Court does."

Give me a freakin' break. Like Congress is any more interesting, and C-SPAN is on 24-7. Does anyone learn anything about the democratic process from that, or we just get to see blurbs taken out of context when a representative is accused of molesting a kid?

Put the cameras in. That's the price you have for your lifetime appointment.

Comb your hair and stop whining, Antonin.

Posted 10/19/2006 06:08:00 PM by Douglas

Money origami. 'Cause sometimes your bills need some more bling.

Posted 10/19/2006 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

It's a done deal now: Houston has made it illegal to smoke cigarettes while you're out killing your liver with toxic ethanol.

The City Council voted Wednesday to extend Houston's indoor smoking ban to bars, with several members acknowledging they went along reluctantly to forge a compromise on an issue that had divided the panel.

The measure, effective next September, will ban smoking in most bars and other indoor workplaces but allow it in outdoor patios, tobacco bars and several other exempted places.

And what a victory it is. A huge victory for all those Houstonians that want to buy alcohol in a bar, but are either too stupid or too lazy to find a non-smoking bar and feel that everyone in the room should cater to their preferences. All those whiners that think that the state knows what's best for them. Let's not forget about our cratering socialized medical institutions that will undoubtedly save millions of dollars in fewer smoking-related illnesses. But the biggest winner here are all the private insurance companies that will save even more than the state does at lower costs of providing medical coverage to those that pay their premiums. I can't fucking wait to get my refund check for my health insurance when their costs are lowered because the state is willing to issue confiscatory fines to those that chose to partake of behaviour they don't approve of.

What a glorious day for Houston. Fuck that, a glorious day for America! God bless her for keeping us all from making a bad decision.

Posted 10/19/2006 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

Tired of cops dealing with real crime? Then don't hesitate to pick up the phone and give 911 a buzz when you find someone smoking where they're not supposed to.

If you catch someone smoking in a non-smoking area in Omaha, Neb., call the police. The Omaha Police Department (OPD) is encouraging city residents to call 911 in the wake of the citywide ban on smoking that went into effect on Oct. 2.

Teresa Negron, sergeant in charge of public information of the OPD, explained that the department encourages observers of infractions to pick up the phone to report the infraction -- just like they would for any other crime they observe being committed.

Car-jacking, rape, murder, smoking at Denny's. . . . those are all just about the same thing, right? So what's the kick-back to the city fine imposed for such an offense?

The penalty is a citation and fee for individuals caught violating the ban -- $100 for the first offense, $200 for the second and $500 for the third and subsequent offenses, according to a summary of the city ordinance posted online.

What?!? You mean it's not a capital offense? Why not? If it's such a hideous act, $500 for a third offense isn't that much of deterrent. I would suppose that they've considered shipping off third time offenders to GitMo, but I guess living in Nebraska is punishment enough.

Posted 10/18/2006 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

Colbert, on his first anniversary. Here's a hilarious list of quotes from Colbert and Ann Coulter. One is serious, one is hyperbolically being silly. Yeah, try to figure out which is which:

1. Even Islamic terrorists don’t hate America like liberals do. They don’t have the energy. If they had that much energy, they’d have indoor plumbing by now.
2. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
3. I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
4. Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity, as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of ‘Kill everyone who doesn’t smell bad and answer to the name Muhammad.’
5. I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Muslim, or Jewish. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
6. [North Korea] is a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to the rest of the world.
7. Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Coulter 1, 4 & 6.

Posted 10/17/2006 05:51:00 PM by Douglas

Why stab your husband 41 times after you doped him with horse tranquilizers and before you dumped him in a lake? Because sometimes stabbing your husband 40 times after doping him with horse tranquilizers just isn't enough.

A veterinarian charged with killing her airman husband with drugs used to euthanize animals pleaded no contest Monday and will be sentenced to 25 years in prison.

The plea agreement stipulates that Wendi Mae Davidson will be sentenced to 25 years on the murder charge and 10 years on each of the two evidence-tampering charges in the death of Dyess Air Force Base Staff Sgt. Michael Leslie Severance, 24, a native of Maine.

Severance's body, which had been stabbed 41 times after he died, was found in March 2005 in a Tom Green County stock pond. It had been weighted down with more than 145 pounds of objects, including a boat anchor, brake drum, cinder block and wheel rim.

Holy. Crap. How long does it take an average woman to even round up 145 pounds of crap to weight your lifeless body after she drugs you and stabs you 41 times? That's what I call commitment! And come on. . . a brake drum? Wheel rim? Did he work in a salvage yard? Where did she find all this crap? I sure hope the guy at the San Angelo West Marine isn't called to testify just because he sold them the boat anchor. . .

Posted 10/17/2006 05:40:00 PM by Douglas

Why shoot your mother 23 times with a rifle? Because sometimes 22 times just isn't enough.

Police say a man with a history of mental problems killed his mother by shooting her with an assault rifle before family members found him wandering in the rain Sunday night outside their southwest Houston home.

The suspect's father and siblings returned home Sunday to see Efrain Frias standing in the rain with no shirt or shoes, Padilla said. When asked what he was doing, the suspect responded: "I did something bad. I shot my mom," Padilla said.

The family found Angelica Frias' body in a bedroom closet, Padilla said, adding that she had been shot 23 times. The weapon belongs to the suspect's brother, police said.

Stolen weapon, dead mother, mental illness. . . . there's nothing about this story that isn't completely tragic. So why do I expect blame to be placed on the only participant in this tragedy that is inanimate?

Posted 10/16/2006 07:08:00 PM by Douglas

To shamelessly promote his global warming movie, Al Gore enlists the help of a bunch of people that think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.

An unlikely evangelist showed up in more than 20 Houston churches last week — former Vice President Al Gore.

Gore didn't preach the gospel, he preached green. As part of a nationwide campaign involving more than 1,000 churches, including 130 in Texas, the local churches showed Gore's global-warming film An Inconvenient Truth for free.

The viewings highlighted an unexpected and increasingly powerful movement: a banding together of scientists and religious scholars to raise public awareness about the role humans play in warming the world and to encourage action to reverse the trend.

Ok, whatever gets your message out. I think it's a stretch to use the phrases "Unitarian Universalist" in the same sentence with the word "church," must less "religious scholar," but whatever. This sentence, almost made me wet myself with laughter:

As recently as October 2005, televangelist Pat Robertson criticized the National Association of Evangelists for its global warming stance. But after a near-record hot summer last year, he changed his position.

Pat Robertson, our very own Christian Mullah may have more good intentions than sense (then again he may not), but this is just about single dumbest thing I've ever read regarding the global warming problem. He didn't believe in global warming before summer because, you know, it got hot. What an idiot. I never believed that tiny pickle shaped invisible demons made droplets of water fall from the sky until it started raining today. And whaddya know, it rained today! Who could argue with that logic?

Labels: global warming

Posted 10/16/2006 06:57:00 PM by Douglas

Welcome to League City, or as I like to call it, New Venice. It doesn't really look that bad from this:

But it started raining at about 2:30 and it's just now let up. This is what my street looks like under about two feet of water:

Not good, but it appears to be receding.

Just because I didn't know where this link was, here's a place to go to find where TxDOT has closed roads throughout this fair state.

Posted 10/15/2006 05:52:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting and hilarious video created in 1995 by Parker & Stone after Seagram's bought Universal Studios. Part one and Part two.

Even though it hasn't happened since I was in high school, for some reason I really want a wine cooler.

South Park may be the funniest damn thing on TV (then again it may not be), but I'll never be able to get past the annoying voices Parker & Stone, and you can really hear their development in these clips. Still, worth the watch. [VIA]

Posted 10/14/2006 04:22:00 PM by Douglas

Sanctions? Honest to god, sanctions? I guess sending them to bed without supper doesn't work on a country where 20 million people are starving, anyway.

The UN Security Council has voted unanimously in favour of a resolution imposing sanctions on North Korea over its claimed nuclear test.

Resolution 1718 imposes weapons and financial sanctions but is not backed by the threat of military force.

North Korea's UN envoy said he totally rejected the resolution and walked out.

I'm not political scientist, but this sounds eerily similar to my high school student council meetings when a cheerleader got pissed off. Seriously, what's dumber about this? North Korea's actions or the UN's reaction? I can't believe the UN has any more credibility than N.K. does. If sanctions are their answer to the proliferation of nuclear weapons, think how ineffective they are with stuff that doesn't matter.

And how effective are sanctions expected to be? Take a look at this picture:

Fascinating. It's rare when you can see political boundaries from photos like this. The borders on the south and north clearly show the oppression Kim Jong-il is trapping within his borders, and the industrialization on both sides he's keeping out.

Posted 10/12/2006 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Uh oh. Looks like the Brits may have had enough.

The head of the British Army has said the presence of UK armed forces in Iraq "exacerbates the security problems".

In an interview in the Daily Mail, Sir Richard Dannatt, Chief of the General Staff, is quoted as saying the British should "get out some time soon".

He also said: "Let's face it, the military campaign we fought in 2003, effectively kicked the door in."

I guess after three and a half years, we just run out of doors.

Posted 10/12/2006 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

"That damn marijuana."

Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of marijuana plants 10 feet tall.

General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.

So does every VW Beatle in Austin. . . . .

"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices.

Have you tried a Bic lighter? I knew a guy in college that had moderate success with one of those, and they're 99¢ at any gas station.

"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

Again, I knew a guy in college named Ed that could make short work of this problem. Check any thrift store in Austin and I'll be anyone inside will know how to deal with this. But what about the ones that did burn?

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those [forests] did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hiller said dryly.

"Ill effects?" The munchies with only MREs available? There are ill effects from weed now? I mean other than enjoying the comedy of Carlos Mencia. Bring it home, 'one soldier:'

One soldier told him later: "Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana'."

Somehow, deep down, I don't think weed is Afghanistan's biggest drug problem.

Posted 10/11/2006 05:51:00 PM by Douglas

God bless the boys of Texas' 147th Fighter Wing for protecting the skies of southeast Texas from. . . . . what, exactly?

NORAD notified the 147th Fighter Wing Texas Air National Guard at Ellington Field to scramble two F-16 fighter jets about 2:15 p.m. after the New York plane crash, said 1st Lt. Ramsey Hammad, 147th spokesman.

Two pilots who were on call at the base were airborne within five minutes of the call.

They are flying in the region to perform whatever task NORAD asks them to do. Primarily, they would be given missions along the Gulf Coast.

Wow, I feel safe. Gotta give it to NORAD and our Federal Government for doing a bang up job of protecting its citizens from five year old threats.

Wait, is there any way we can blame this one on the Tigers winning on Saturday? If the $200 million attention whores from the Bronx were still in the playoffs, this probably would have never happened. Nah, most Americans would rather see another attack than see the Yankees in the Series again.

Posted 10/11/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Goo-tube video for the day: What he lacks in musical talent, this kitten makes up for in adorableness.

Posted 10/11/2006 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

I, too, am a prisoner in my own home, afraid of the doorbell in fear that it's a cute 10 year old trying to sell me something I don't want.

I do not think I’m alone in panicking when the doorbell rings, fearful that it is the adorable second grader down the street trafficking in cheesecake. I bet I’m not the only one who hides behind the sofa after peeking through the curtains and discovering the person on the front porch is four feet tall and accompanied by a disgruntled grown-up.

However, I think my heartstrings are out of jumping range of most door-to-door prepubescent panhandeler, as this logic doesn't work with me:

But woe to the parent who ignores his child’s fund-raiser; in these belt-tightening times, selling stuff doesn’t just raise money for new uniforms for the marching band — it also keeps the computer lab up and running and the heat on in the winter. To blow off the fund-raiser is tantamount to being anti-education. On the other hand, avid participation guarantees that your neighbors and co-workers will run when they see you coming.

Ha! The district I live (and pay taxes) in would love to raise my taxes, except the State of Texas says it's illegal: We already pay the maximum school tax allowed. I actually cursed at the guy that called from the local "football boosters" when they wanted money, but I'll admit, I was having a bad day.

Anyhoo, I think they may be on to something:

Fixing national and statewide financing is a staggering long-term project. Fortunately, I can suggest a far easier, more immediate cure for the madness, one that would also assure every fund-raiser is a great success. Every year the top five sellers in each class are rewarded with a pass; then next year they don’t have to participate in the fund-raiser. Likewise, the name of every customer will be entered in a drawing, where the grand prize is to avoid being contacted by any student in the school, as long as you both shall live.

It’s a perfect solution. But it would work, of course, only until everyone in the nation ran out of wrapping paper.

I might actually buy a scented candle if that option were on the table.

Posted 10/11/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

What does Scotland's smoking have to do with Houston? A lot, apparently, according to the city council.

The health of Scottish bartenders and other pub staff improved significantly within weeks after that country banned smoking, according to a new study.

The study, conducted before and after Scotland's ban took effect March 26, found a decrease in the number of workers reporting respiratory symptoms, as well as objective health improvements, including less nicotine in the bloodstream and better lung function.

That's fine, and fucking obvious even to the most casual observers. So what? Head injuries have shown to decrease among those that stop punching their heads with ball peen hammers. Does that mean the government should step in and tell me to stop hitting myself in the head? The Republic has changed to a pre-emptive state under the Bush Doctrine, but that's really the core of that question. This is America, and if there's money to be made in bars where people want to smoke, who is to tell the bartender he can't inhale second-hand smoke from his paying customers if that's what he chooses to do?

Smoking is disgusting, lethal, and annoying if you're not used to it, but still not nearly as annoying as a screaming, kicking child in a restaurant/airplane.

But it comes down to whether or not the nanny-state thinks we have the right/ability to decide for ourselves how to live our lives, or they decide for us.

But get ready for the backlash, nanny-state, as people stop drinking in bars and/or smoking, because both of those activities the state is discouraging provide it with millions of dollars annually.

You can't ban your smoke and tax it too.

Posted 10/10/2006 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

I smell a BBQ in Austin:

Bevo XIII, the longest tenured mascot in Texas Longhorn history, is gone to the big ranch in the sky.

The retired mascot died Monday on the private ranch where he lived with his successor, Bevo XIV, the Silver Spurs spirit club announced today.

Brennes noted he lived long enough to see the Longhorns beat rival Oklahoma 28-10 on Saturday.

At least XIII got to see OU lose again.

And if they did BBQ Bevo, that would be the best BBQ Austin has ever seen. That poor steer has been pumped full of enough sedative to make everyone in Austin who took a bite of his brisket forget about how much Austin is getting screwed by the Trans-Texas Catastrophe.

Posted 10/10/2006 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

When I did the same thing in 4th grade, it was the grenade that was the dummy, not the school.

An 8-year-old took a fake grenade to his school in far southwest Houston this morning, causing some brief panic.

The dummy grenade, which was not armed, was in the student's backpack. It was confiscated by an HISD police officer and the student was removed from the classroom, officials said.

According to a letter to parents from Paula Viebrock, the principal of Kate Bell Elementary, "the student will be disciplined according to the actions outlined in the HISD Code of Student Conduct."

I'm sure a week in "the box" at HISD will teach that 8 year old that it's no OK to bring a $3 piece of junk metal he got at the surplus store to school.

Ok, fine, he shouldn't have done it, but still, why is this news? Why does this go beyond "take that home and don't bring it back"?

Posted 10/09/2006 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting map related puzzles. Here's one with U.S. states, and here's another with European countries. I'm a guy that digs maps, but if you can place Colorado and/or Estonia with no reference frame from the coastline, you're doing better than me. Come on. Any idiot can hit Florida or Italy, but I need a border or something to hit Utah and Slovakia.

Acutally, they're probably not that different. . . . .

Posted 10/08/2006 04:43:00 PM by Douglas

The Lord works in mysterious ways. I wonder if any Mexicans have lit any candles by it?

Posted 10/08/2006 04:41:00 PM by Douglas

Getting loaded and buying crap on the internet: What's the problem?

Welcome to one of the latest and strangest financial hazards of our high-tech age: clicking under the influence, or as a friend of mine called it, “sip and click.” In Mr. Kenny’s case, he realized what he had done, and was able to remedy the situation quickly, but not everyone gets off the hook so easily.

It’s not the sort of thing people like to admit. “You don’t want to sound like a boozehound,” said one woman, who didn’t remember ordering several books from Amazon until the packages started arriving.

What a thrill it is to get random crap that you ordered on the net when you're drunk. Everyone likes surprises! It's like Santa visited you early this year. . . .

Posted 10/05/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Houston Texas. They came for our lap dances and we did nothing. Then they came with surveillance cameras, still we did nothing. Now they want to take away our dank, smoke filled bars, and to this, comrades, I espouse a resounded no!

Proposed revisions in the city's smoking ordinance would prohibit lighting up in all enclosed places, including bars, but would allow smoking in tobacco stores and outdoor patios, according to a draft released late Wednesday.

Houston officials have discussed for months the possibility of broadening the city's smoking ban, but the ordinance put on the table Wednesday is the first official proposal.

"We're getting a lot of support from not just the medical community, but from just people in general, people that want to go to bars but don't because of the smoke," said Councilwoman Carol Alvarado, who chairs the council's public health committee.

Seriously? There is an appreciable portion of the population that wants to go to a bar but is driven off by the smoke? What's to stop someone from opening a non-smoking bar? If there is such a demand for a non-smoking bar, why doesn't some entrepreneurial non-smoker open one up and put all the smoking bars out of business? Could it be, you fucking retards, that people want to smoke in bars? Just a thought. One of the stories I read on this justified the ban by saying that "the majority of Texans don't smoke." That may be true, but the majority of Texans that hang out in bars do, so why deprive them of the smoker business? Just take a look at Austin's unconstitutional smoking ban to see how effective that is: [Registration required. Login: statesmansucks@fake.com Password: suckit]

A federal judge on Wednesday struck down part of Austin's smoking ban and found that some of its enforcement provisions were "unconstitutionally vague."

Sparks said the businesses must post "no smoking" signs and remove ashtrays and other smoking accoutrements. However, the owner can no longer be held liable for not taking additional steps if patrons continue to smoke, Sparks ruled.

"Thank goodness there was a judge that finally had some sense," said Rebecca Davis, a bartender at the Elephant Room, a Congress Avenue cellar-turned-jazz club, where a faint odor of smoke permeated the air and smokers were already celebrating Wednesday night. "This is going to help my happy hour business so much."

Wow, I like it, but I don't like the precedent. It takes the onus off the bar owner and on the local law enforcement to stop a "smoking violator." Like cops in Austin don't have enough to do without going into Emo's at 12:30 because some whiney tie-dyed/Birkenstock wearing hippie gets miffed because his air is getting violated by some other hippie's American Spirits. Hell, Jenna Bush may be back in town running over drag-worms with her Hummer.

Here's the deal, folks, you have a right to do what you want: You do not have a right to never be offended, abused, assaulted or < gasp > assaulted with second hand smoke. If you're sensibilities and lungs are so delicate, then stay home, rent a mobile bubble when you venture outdoors, or (imagine this one) avoid places that offend you. This is America.

At least it used to be.

Posted 10/05/2006 05:14:00 PM by Douglas

Ever wonder what happened to Biff from Back to the Future? Apparently he's doing OK, but here's a list of questions not to ask him.

Is there a self-help group for YouTube? I need help. . .

Posted 10/05/2006 05:11:00 PM by Douglas

Most of us stopped thinking Weird Al was funny about the same time we hit puberty and discovered boobies (no girl ever liked Weird Al), yet for some reason, his career spans decades beyond those he makes fun of. So you gotta give him that. Here, and apparently in no particular order, are 10 of his videos. YouTube. Is there anything it can't do?

Posted 10/02/2006 05:56:00 PM by Douglas

Old school propaganda, Donald Duck style. Yeah, it's kinda long, but hang on for the last line:

"Taxes will keep democracy on the march!"

Who knows better what to do with your money than your government, especially when they need to kill people.

And maybe this is a topic for another rant, but I'm sick of Democrats vilifying Republicans as "warmongers." [even when they are] Democrats as peace-niks?
Puh-<< excuse me while I go outside for a smoke >>-lease! Wilson, FDR, Truman, LBJ. More human beings died at the hands of Democratic administrations in the 20th century than even voted for Republicans. Of course, don't get me started on Lincoln, the greatest American mass murderer of all time.

Posted 10/02/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

For those of you on the edge of your seats as to whether or not Neil Armstrong's first words spoken on the surface of the moon on GMT 02:56:15 July 21, 1969 were, in fact, inspiring, you can sleep easy tonight.

Now, after almost four decades, the spaceman has been vindicated. Using high-tech sound analysis techniques, an Australian computer expert has rediscovered the missing “a” in Mr Armstrong’s famous quote. Peter Shann Ford ran the Nasa recording through sound-editing software and clearly picked up an acoustic wave from the word “a”, finding that Mr Armstrong spoke it at a rate of 35 milliseconds — ten times too fast for it to be audible.

Mr Ford’s findings have been presented to Nasa officials in Washington and to a relieved Mr Armstrong, who issued a statement saying: “I find the technology interesting and useful. I also find his conclusion persuasive.”

I can't beat Althouse on this one:

Now, if somebody could figure out some halfway plausible method of establishing the absence of "ein" in President Kennedy's "Ich bin ein Berliner," we could finally be free of the indefinite article problems of the 1960s.

If only the greatest problems of the 1960's could be redressed by historical revision of the indefinite article.

Posted 10/02/2006 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

Beer. Is there anything it can't do?

Women dressed in traditional Bavarian clothes enjoy their beer in a beer tent during the 173rd Oktoberfest, the biggest beer festival in the world, in Munich, October 2, 2006. Germans, in party mood after the World Cup and cheered by a pickup in the economy, have 18 days to consume millions of litres of beer and hundreds of thousands of sausages as the festival has been extended to include October 3 public holiday.

I know, dear reader, I've said this before. But I'll say it again, for there is one thing in Bavaria better than beer.

Make that two things.

Labels: Oktoberfest

Posted 10/01/2006 03:35:00 PM by Douglas

For 42 counties in Texas, prohibition continues unabated. But for how long?

The vote comes as part of a wave of local-option elections that are steadily ''wetting up" the more populous parts of Texas. Lufkin's Baptist churches and others are mounting a campaign to keep their corner of East Texas dry, but trends are not on their side.

Since late 2003, when changes in state law made it easier to put alcohol on local ballots, there have been 177 elections across the state to legalize some form of alcohol sales. A lopsided 82 percent have passed, according to the Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission.

Conversely, no wet areas have voted to go dry.

Today, only 42 of Texas' 254 counties are completely dry, fewer than half the number in 1975, when there were 87. And each year several more fall from the list. Located mostly in West Texas and the Panhandle, 28 of the state's dry counties have populations of fewer than 10,000.

I've never understood this. Dry counties keep alcohol away from its citizens about as well as the "Employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom keeps feces out of your salad. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the counties with populations less than 10,000 aren't economically booming, so is it really in their best interest to let even more money leave their community when farmer Ted goes to the county line for a six-pack and a quart of whiskey? Or are they afraid that the roads might not be safe for all the people getting to and from their meth labs? Let's look at the downsides:

Alcohol opponents say going wet will have negative consequences.

"Studies show you have an increase in crime when you increase alcohol outlets," said Lee Miller, a Lufkin public relations expert running the opposition campaign.

Jack Williams, an opposition leader who said he got involved at the request of his pastor, said Lufkin has a thriving economy even without alcohol sales. "We don't need it," he said.

Sure you don't need it, but as it is now, you're getting all negatives with none of the additional revenue.

Opponents warn about crime and drunken driving, but with alcohol readily available "across the river" and more than 20 restaurants and social organizations serving drinks as private clubs, the Lufkin area already hosts its share of alcohol-related social ills. Over the first eight months of this year, 264 DWI cases were filed in Angelina County, records show.

The bootleggers and Baptists vote the same way on this issue.

Posted 10/01/2006 02:46:00 PM by Douglas

Just a reminder to check your sock drawer before you stick you hand inside. It could be dangerous.

Posted 10/01/2006 02:35:00 PM by Douglas

More trouble for the A380. It's all good if you build the biggest airplane in the world, but what if the airports you want to fly it won't build a runway big enough for it?

But a review of capital expenditure ordered by BAA's new Spanish owners, combined with lobbying from low-cost operators easyJet and Ryanair, make it all but certain that final plans will not include the extra £65m needed to accommodate the A380.

Not only will neither of Stansted's runways be wide enough for the A380 but, at a mere 3,048m each, they may not be long enough for all take-off conditions. Heathrow, which has been upgraded to take the new Airbus giant, has a 3,900m runway, while Gatwick's is 3,300m.

3,900m is almost 2.5 miles, kids. I still can't imagine getting on this monstrosity with 550 of my closest friends, and if they can't get the air freight business from FedEx and UPS, they're truly sunk.Thanks long-time reader!