Posted 12/29/2009 02:42:00 PM by Douglas

Great article on why we can't, as a nation, make anything anymore. Great in the fact that I had this exact discussion with my dad (hi, dad!) over Christmas. Managers don't know how to make anything anymore, they just know how to "manage." Managing people may be the same no matter where you go, but making ketchup and jet engines might, oh I don't know, require a different skill set. Well read this.

In some sense, it’s the result of broad historical and economic forces. Up until World War I, the archetypal manufacturing CEO was production oriented—usually an engineer or inventor of some kind. Even as late as the 1930s, business school curriculums focused mostly on production. Khurana notes that many schools during this era had mini-factories on campus to train future managers.

And now they don't. A "manager" can go from a steak knife factory to an aircraft factory to a roller skate factory without ever learning how to cut metal. Fuck your MBA, guess who is learning this? They speak Chinese.

Posted 12/29/2009 02:33:00 PM by Douglas

So why is Christmas on the 25th of December? It's gotta be because that's when Jesus was really born, right?

So, almost 300 years after Jesus was born, we finally find people observing his birth in midwinter. But how had they settled on the dates December 25 and January 6?

There are two theories today: one extremely popular, the other less often heard outside scholarly circles (though far more ancient).

The most loudly touted theory about the origins of the Christmas date(s) is that it was borrowed from pagan celebrations. The Romans had their mid-winter Saturnalia festival in late December; barbarian peoples of northern and western Europe kept holidays at similar times.

Guess what, Christians, that tree in your house is pretty pagan, too.

Posted 12/26/2009 04:48:00 PM by Douglas

The TSA, which stands for "Thousands Standing Around, further exemplified their lack of imagination, ignorance and incompetence (possibly all three) in reacting to the latest idiot trying to light something on an airplane. What happened?

The terror suspect who tried to blow up a Detroit-bound plane is the son of a Nigerian banker who alerted U.S. authorities to his "extreme religious views" months ago, it was reported Saturday.

When he tried to ignite powder strapped to his leg with a a [sic] chemical-filled syringe, he was tackled by a heroic passenger aboard Northwest Flight 253.

The last time this happened, the TSA reacted (in some airports) by making everyone take off their shoes. So how are they reacting this time?

Among other steps being imposed, passengers on international flights coming to the United States will apparently have to remain in their seats for the last hour of a flight without any personal items on their laps. Overseas passengers will be restricted to only one carry-on item aboard the plane, and domestic passengers will probably face longer security lines.

It's remarkable that anyone would consider these steps anything more than an annoyance. What's magical about the last hour of the flight? If someone's going to blow up the plane, why heighten security on the plane for the last half hour? The only way this is going to make anyone safer is if the terrorists are really impatient people that don't want to waste several hours in airport security.

Posted 12/24/2009 01:20:00 PM by Douglas

Colbert's brilliant reaction to his performance at the 2006 White House Correspondent's dinner. I was wondering how he walked into that lion's den and stayed in character.

When the dinner was over, "I don't think I'm dying. I go to sit down and nobody's meeting my eye. Only [the late journalist-turned-White House spokesman] Tony Snow comes over and says I'm doing a great job." Then Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia came his way and told him he was brilliant.

"I said, oh, s-, don't let me like Antonin Scalia!"

Wondering what exit he should use, Colbert recalls being approached by actor Harry Lennix, whom he knew from their days at Northwestern University. Colbert indicated that he sensed some of the audience wasn't happy. "And he [Lennix] said, 'f- these people."

Don't go in front of that audience and pull any punches. Colbert went with both barrels loaded and came out like a champ.

Posted 12/24/2009 12:56:00 PM by Douglas

I hate soccer.

"Fundamentally, what they sought in the New World was freedom to practice any sport they wished," historian and author Bruce Wright said. "The Pilgrims thought people should not be forced to conform to one single game, especially one in which the hands went unused."

"We must keep in mind what these radical Puritans believed about idle hands," Wright added. "They saw nothing to dissuade them from the idea that soccer was the devil's workshop."

Yep, that's about right.

Posted 12/20/2009 06:47:00 PM by Douglas

It's been a decade, but it's good to see that I'm not the only one that hasn't forgiven Geroge Lucas for fucking up my childhood and one of the best movie franchises in history. Check this out. Seven parts, 10 minutes, each, but it's hysterical. The key point:

Never again will something be so wildly anticipated, or a bigger disappointment.

After almost 20 years, dorks were literally lined up around the block to get one sip of whatever was falling out of Lucas' teat. Little did they know it was such errant crap. But this line really sums up why I hate these CGI-fest movies:

The new movies are about shoving as much crap into each shot as possible.

Exactly. Why do they think that giving the audience ADHD is a good thing?

Posted 12/18/2009 08:00:00 PM by Douglas

Hey Mizzou, tired of getting beat by powerhouses like Oklahoma State, Nebraska and Baylor? Maybe you need to head to the Big Ten.

The University of Missouri should consider leaving the Big 12 and joining the Big Ten Conference if it gets an offer to do so, Gov. Jay Nixon said Friday.

The Big Ten said this week that it will be exploring over the next 12-18 months whether to expand its membership. It did not mention which schools it might add, if it decided to do so.

Don't let the Big 12 hit ya where the good lord split ya, Mizzou.

Posted 12/18/2009 07:53:00 PM by Douglas

Almost a decade ago, the wife and I bought a house that "needed some work," first and obviously not foremost, the floors. At some point she said "let's put down some tile" to which I acquiesced, not knowing any better. In the shadow of the constant media coverage of the 9/11 attacks, we tiled the bathroom with the help of our neighbor. Two years later, this gave us the encouragement we needed to embark on what was dubbed The Great Tiling Project of Aught Three. "Great," in this instance, implies that every corner of our modest domicile was going to be covered with the finest ceramic tile The Home Despot had to offer. And so it began.

The Great Tiling Project of Aught Three started with much fanfare and enthusiasm, but after moving every single stick of furniture from one room to the next, we soon ran out of steam. Then we got new furniture. The only room omitted from this project was the kitchen, and since it already had tile, of sorts, it became less of a priority. Then The Great Tiling Project of Aught Three turned into Aught four. Now, five years after that, here we are.

All I can say now is that it's done, and other than a lot of Portland cement embedded in my nostrils, all I have to show for it is this bucket. I don't have anything to direct my anger or lack of energy towards, so this bucket will have to do:

This bucket has been there from the beginning. Several tons of mortar and grout have been mixed in this very bucket since 2001, but today it's over. I'm done with you. We're breaking up. I've mixed my last bag of mud within your orange walls. Take a look; I'm not even going to bother to rinse that last bit of grout out of your bottom. I don't care. I hope it dries in you like a fucking brick.

I'm not even going to rise off that $3 grout spreader I bought this week. It's over.

But, and I do realize. My mud-mixing days may not be over. I may have to mix some mud sometime before I leave this good Earth. Hell, I may even set up some grout for some reason. But you know what? I'm not going to be mixing it in this fucking bucket!

So farewell. Enjoy the rest of eternity in the landfill, with four pounds of "summer wheat" grout in your ass. Though you have served me well, you are being cast aside like a used bucket, with a decade of grout remnants stuck to your innards.

I'll see you in hell, bucket.

Posted 12/18/2009 03:20:00 PM by Douglas

Hey, what is usury, anyway?

Of course, this patently ignores the history of how decisions have been made in the church - a primary example being usury. The argument I make here is not that since the church has changed its mind without theological justification on usury that it MUST do so in regards to sexuality. I simply argue that to claim that the church cannot debate this issue with some prospect for change due to some idea of the immovability of tradition is a argument based in a misreading of church history. I believe we are facing a decision of what to "bind" and what to "loose" (Matt 18:18) and that what we need is debate, not a shouting match.

I looked it up. "Ecumenical council" means "shouting match" with people in funny hats in robes. Possibly even a Snuggie or two. But the question is, does God need to be involved with every loan? Should I consult the divine if I purchase a new washer on my credit card? I think Polonius said it best:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Just don't hide behind the tapestry when the crazy dude is talkin' to his mom.

Posted 12/17/2009 01:30:00 PM by Douglas

Is someone actually listening to Ron Paul? Holy shit!

No one would have been surprised if the Lake Jackson congressman had slipped off the political radar after his 2008 quixotic bid for the presidency, his ambitions for higher office thwarted.

But Paul has refused to go out to the political pasture to live in comfortable irrelevance. As odd as it may seem, he has become one of the most influential Republicans in a capital city dominated by liberal Democrats.

The subject that has brought him to prominence is the same issue that subjected him to ridicule from establishment Republicans for years: his long-standing opposition to the nation's monetary system and the Federal Reserve Board that prints money and controls its supply.

In the House, Paul was ignored by Democrats and marginalized by Republicans. He was punished for the very views that earn him so much adulation today.

I find it hilarious that when the Republicans (Neo-cons) held the White House and both houses of Congress, they treated Paul your crazy uncle that has a pony tail, drives a gremlin and dates strippers. Now that the tea-baggers think it's oh so revolutionary to have a contrarian position, Paul is the poster boy for speaking out against the man. Further proof that no one is concerned with "the man" keeping them down as long as "their man" is in charge.

Labels: Ron Paul

Posted 12/17/2009 01:20:00 PM by Douglas

I just love stories like this. This precious, precious little snowflake is such a free spirit. Why should he have to follow the rules if he doesn't want to? He is four, after all.

Prekindergartner Taylor Pugh likes his floppy hair just how it is: long on the front and sides, covering his earlobes and shirt collar.

But his long locks violate the dress code in his suburban Dallas school district. So Taylor again Wednesday found himself facing in-school suspension, sitting in a library with a teacher's aide while his friends played and learned together in a classroom.

"They kicked me out that place," said Taylor, 4, who prefers the nickname Tater Tot. "I miss my friends."

They kicked you out for disobeying the rules, tater tot. The world's not out to get you just because you don't get to do everything you want. And besides that, you're four fucking years old. You "want" long hair? I bet you want to eat nothing but candy all day and poop in the bath tub, too. Does mom let you do that? Let's hear from mom [I wish I were making this up] Elizabeth Taylor:

Elizabeth Taylor, Taylor's mother, said her son is "an individual. He wants his long hair."

Yep. Tater tot does get everything he wants. Why is that mean old school district picking on this free spirit?

It appears the school district "is more concerned about his hair than his education," said Taylor's father, Delton Pugh. "I don't think it's right to hold a child down and force him to do something ... when it's not hurting him or affecting his education."

Of course not. Children should be allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and if that conflicts with the rules and standards of society that we as human beings have been cultivating for several millennia, you should always side with the four year old.

At what point did the delineation between children and adults completely evaporate?

Posted 12/16/2009 11:25:00 AM by Douglas

FINALLY! Looks like the check, as a form of payment, if finally going the way of the do-do

After more than three centuries, the humble check is set to become a historic relic after British banks voted to phase it out in favor of more modern payment methods.

The board of the UK Payments Council, the body for setting payment strategy in Britain, agreed on Wednesday to set a target date of October 31, 2018 for winding up the check clearing system. The board is largely made up of Britain's leading banks.

"There are many more efficient ways of making payments than by paper in the 21st century, and the time is ripe for the economy as a whole to reap the benefits of its replacement," Paul Smee, the council chief executive, said in a statement.

2018?!? That seems like a long way away, and I'm sure by that time even your babysitter and your Mexican gardener will accept pay-pal, but hey, it's a start!

Posted 12/16/2009 11:21:00 AM by Douglas

Remember how short we were on that pig flu vaccine and how critical it was to protect those most susceptible to the certain death that was, pig flu? Well, turns out the vaccine didn't work.

Hundreds of thousands of swine flu shots for children have been recalled nationwide because tests indicate the vaccine doses lost some strength, government health officials said.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention officials said there is no reason to revaccinate children who received the weakened doses, but it stressed that children younger than 10 need a second dose of the vaccine 30 days after the first dose was received.

Sleep tight, America, the government is in control.

Labels: pig flu

Posted 12/16/2009 11:20:00 AM by Douglas

Boeing's new jet hit the air this week. The 787, and not a minute too soon.

Boeing's new 787 jetliner finally got airborne Tuesday, the long-delayed inaugural flight of the world's first commercial plane mostly constructed from lightweight composite materials.

The sleek jet lifted off from Everett's Paine Field on a flight over Washington state, beginning an extensive testing program needed to obtain Federal Aviation Administration certification.

Yay, newer, lighter, plastic airplane!

Posted 12/16/2009 11:05:00 AM by Douglas

After six years, all it took was a gay mayor to get Hurtt to resign. Good.

Houston Police Chief Harold Hurtt is planning to resign at the end of the year, two days before Mayor-elect Annise Parker takes office.

Hurtt, who has been Houston police chief for almost six years, confirmed Tuesday night that he told his command staff earlier in the day of his plans to resign Dec. 30 because of the changing administrations at City Hall.

“I'm sure everybody anticipated it,” Hurtt said of his command staff's reaction to the news. “They live in the real world. I'm sure HPD will survive without Harold Hurtt.”

They sure can. Too bad no one every claimed The Hurtt Prize.

Posted 12/15/2009 11:28:00 AM by Douglas

We all know Al Gore is not a scientist, and to me, that made him an unlikely champion for the cult of climate change. So what happens if the very scientists he relies on thinks he's taking his "drowned polar bear" message too far? Let's watch.

Mr Gore, speaking at the Copenhagen climate change summit, stated the latest research showed that the Arctic could be completely ice-free in five years.

In his speech, Mr Gore told the conference: “These figures are fresh. Some of the models suggest to Dr [Wieslav] Maslowski that there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during the summer months, could be completely ice-free within five to seven years.”

Ah go on. . . .

However, the climatologist whose work Mr Gore was relying upon dropped the former Vice-President in the water with an icy blast.

“It’s unclear to me how this figure was arrived at,” Dr Maslowski said. “I would never try to estimate likelihood at anything as exact as this.”

Saying carbon dioxide may be a factor in global warming and that global warming may cause raising sea levels isn't nearly as polarizing as Gore making a movie saying your car's exhaust pipe is going to kill your grandmother. It's just hilarious, in spite of the sky-is-falling chicken littles at East Anglia that got caught fudging the number. When global warming's very own "Gore-Whore" says the data's not there to support such an imminent and disastrous outcome, how could that possibly give them a shred of credibility?

Labels: global warming

Posted 12/15/2009 11:18:00 AM by Douglas

I watched this show for a while, and it's pretty scary to see what kind of freak accidents happen to people, and how lucky they are to survive. Sometimes, however, people aren't that lucky:

Beaumont police say a 47-year-old Vidor (VY'-dur) woman died after a hunk of iron crashed through the windshield of her SUV.

Police say [Vidor woman] was northbound on Interstate 10 on Monday afternoon when a U-shaped piece of iron went through the windshield and struck her. Her vehicle hit a concrete barrier.

Police say Shirley died Monday night at a Beaumont hospital.

The source of the iron is sought.

What a horrible way to go.

Last time I checked, I-10 runs east-west. Also, that's for helping me out with pronouncing "Vidor." I wouldn't have figured that one out on my own.

The source of the iron is sought? Is it under intense police interrogation?

Posted 12/15/2009 11:05:00 AM by Douglas

The cutest damn dog video you'll see. There's a reason, even in the dog-world, that fathers don't eat their daughters: They're so damned cute!

Posted 12/14/2009 11:09:00 AM by Douglas

It's Christmas time, and the Lorax has already been to my house to decorate my Truffula Tree!

Posted 12/13/2009 04:54:00 PM by Douglas

The conspiracy of "big seed" is just started.

"We now believe that Monsanto has control over as much as 90 percent of (seed genetics). This level of control is almost unbelievable," said Neil Harl, agricultural economist at Iowa State University who has studied the seed industry for decades. "The upshot of that is that it's tightening Monsanto's control, and makes it possible for them to increase their prices long term. And we've seen this happening the last five years, and the end is not in sight."

At issue is how much power one company can have over seeds, the foundation of the world's food supply. Without stiff competition, Monsanto could raise its seed prices at will, which in turn could raise the cost of everything from animal feed to wheat bread and cookies.

What a brilliant business model. Now that your patent for the most effective herbacide on earth has expired, sell seeds that are resistant to that herbicide that now everyone is making.

I wonder if "controlling the world's food production for personal profit" has ever been considered evil?

Posted 12/09/2009 09:54:00 PM by Douglas

I'm not so concerned with congress taking this on because they should be doing more important things. It bothers me because they have absolutely zero authority to tell anyone how a national champion is determined in college football.

Dismissing complaints from some members that Congress had more pressing matters, a House subcommittee approved legislation Wednesday aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine its national champion.

"We can walk across the street and chew gum at the same time," said the subcommittee chairman, Illinois Democrat Bobby Rush, one of the bill's co-sponsors. "We can do a number of things at the same time."

The legislation, which still faces steep odds, would ban the promotion of a postseason NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision game as a national championship unless it results from a playoff. The measure passed by voice vote in the House Energy and Commerce Committee's commerce, trade and consumer protection subcommittee, with one audible "no," from Rep. John Barrow, D-Ga.

Sure the BCS is messed up, but if you want to really screw it up, let congress "fix" it. The same idiots that gave Bush a blank check in Iraq, the PATRIOT ACT, income tax and prohibition (just to name a few) could do wonders in college football. Idiots.

Posted 12/09/2009 09:16:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like the Harris County D.A. is taking the first, tiny step to come to their senses about their Draconian drug laws, by reducing paraphernalia possession to a misdemeanor.

Starting next year, the Harris County District Attorney's Office no longer will file state jail felony charges against suspects found with only a trace — less than a hundreth of a gram — of illegal drugs, District Attorney Pat Lykos said Tuesday.

Instead, people found with crack pipes with nothing more than residue inside or other drug paraphernalia, would face a ticket for a class C misdemeanor, which carries a maximum fine of $500.

Imagine that. You don't have a usable quantity of drugs and you don't go to jail. Imagine that? But who is this going to piss off? Who has something to lose in this fight?

“It ties the hands of the officers who are making crack pipe cases against burglars and thieves,” said Gary Blankinship, president of the Houston Police Officers' Union. “A crack pipe is not used for anything but smoking crack by a crack head. Crack heads, by and large, are also thieves and burglars. They're out there committing crimes.”

So you smoke crack, you need to go to jail because you might commit a burglary? I thought we were done with the thought police?

Posted 12/09/2009 09:08:00 PM by Douglas

Never a good Wednesday when you can hear a huge explosion before 9 a.m.

Wednesday morning's explosion at American Acryl's Port Road plant sounded like a jet's sonic boom as it hurled a fireball into the sky, rattled windows and cracked walls as far away as Clear Lake and sequestered residents in their homes for hours.

But despite the drama and the open question of the economic impact of the $150 million facility's indefinite closure for repair, the human toll appeared small. Two of the 10 to 15 workers on duty at the time of the 8:45 a.m. accident were hospitalized for observation but later released in good condition. American Acryl spokeswoman Kelli Gregory said the explosion resulted in no “off-site toxic impact.”

It's a miracle no one was killed if I heard the blast from about two miles away.

Posted 12/08/2009 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

Why do you need a banana peeler when all you gotta do is eat a banana like a monkey:


I swear I blogged that before, but I can't find it. Oh well. Enjoy your bananas, chumps.

Posted 12/08/2009 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Have you ever played Tetris and wondered why you never got that long piece you needed? Now you know:

Posted 12/07/2009 06:16:00 PM by Douglas

I'll admit, I really don't want to see Santa nekkid, either, but something about this story reminds me of a Simpson's episode. But what doesn't?

A Texas homeowner who adorned his front lawn with Michelangelo's "David" as a scantily clad Santa got more than just jolly laughs from his neighbors. Barry McBee said he was aiming to make people chuckle by adding a Santa hat and white beard to the 5-foot-tall replica of the Renaissance statue with six-pack abs — an image at odds with usual depictions of a fat, jolly St. Nick.

Then, parents started calling Big Spring city officials saying their children were asking why Santa was naked.

As Marge so effectively pointed out, this statue is a great barometer of how crazy people are over their puritanical indecency laws. When the crazies tried to get David banned from Springfield, she was upset that the kids would miss out on probably the most famous statue in the world, to which Homer replies, "the school is making them go see it!!" But I digress. What's going on in West Texas?

The sculpture on the corner lot along a main road into McBee's subdivision did not violate any town ordinances, and the copy of one of the world's most well-known statues did not involve any obscenity issues, said Linda Sjogren, city attorney in Big Spring, about 290 miles west of Dallas.

Sjogren left McBee a voice mail last week, requesting that he put more clothes on David.

I would have liked to have heard how that conversation went down. "Hey, you're not doing anything wrong, but could you cover up your replica of one of the greatest masterpieces created by mankind so it doesn't offend anyone here that's never taken a look at their crotch with their pants off? Thanks a bunch."

Posted 12/07/2009 05:56:00 PM by Douglas

Johnson Space Center hasn't always been a jewel in the crown of SouthEast Houston. Before the Manned Spaceflight Center was here, it was here.

Until recently, many employees of Houston's Parks and Recreation Department weren't aware that when they strolled down to the supply room for paper clips they were walking in the footsteps — literally — of pioneers of the American space program.

The department's offices are in a southeast Houston building that was home to NASA's Manned Spacecraft Center from 1962 to 1964. It was here that the Mercury astronauts paved the way for their Apollo successors to win the race that put Americans on the moon before their Soviet competitors.

The building's history and design have been highlighted in a $16 million renovation intended to transform it from an obscure bureaucratic center into a public amenity. The parks department intends to lease part of the building and its courtyard for public events, such as weddings, to recover some of the costs and make the property more familiar to the community.

“I consider this building a piece of art,” said Joe Turner, the city's parks and recreation director, who has overseen the renovation and successful efforts to achieve local, state and federal historic designations for the building.

Interesting. Hey Chronicle, here's an interesting point you left out of the story. . . .Where is it?!? Turn out, you can find this architectural gem at 2999 South Wayside Drive.

Posted 12/07/2009 05:45:00 PM by Douglas

Ten years later and this decade still doesn't have a name. I'm glad I'm not the only one that's noticing.

Shoulder pads and Reaganomics belong to the '80s. The O.J. Simpson trial and grunge rock helped define the '90s. So September 11 and cell phone texting will remind us of … what? The zeroes? Americans have had 10 whole years to figure out what to call the past decade, and yet most people are still at a loss when it comes to referring to it as anything other than "the current decade" or simply "the 21st century."

This is the reason, do doubt, that Time was able to say it was so bad. I still think it's a cop out. You can't say it's the worst decade ever before you come up with a name for it.

Some publications like Slate have chosen to trundle forward with their use of “the aughts,” a term that was also used to refer to 1900 through 1909 and is synonymous with "zeroes." Others have tried giving it a cute spin, like The New York Times' Fashion & Style section, which calls it "the aughties."

I think "the aughties" is the best we're going to do. Let's run with it.

Posted 12/06/2009 04:44:00 PM by Douglas

It snowed on Friday. Really. Here are some pictures. Here's some snow on a Catholic hospital:

And here's their helipad.

It didn't stick around, but it was, in fact, snow.

Posted 12/06/2009 04:14:00 PM by Douglas

Police work isn't just for dogs anymore. Meet Jade, the police cat:

Those visiting the Lumberton Police Department are carefully evaluated by one member of the office staff.

The question in those big green eyes: Do you like cats?

If you do, Police Cat Jade might decide to give you some attention.

Not too much work a 3-legged cat can do at the police station, but everyone has their job. How did he get there?

He was brought to them by an older woman who wanted then-Chief Norman Reynolds to have him euthanized because of the pain he was in with his right front leg mangled and partially missing.

The chief refused because of the expense and because the woman wasn't from Lumberton.

I think I saw a sign when I drove through Lumberton: "Welcome to Lumberton: Cat Euthanization for Residents Only."

Posted 12/05/2009 03:25:00 PM by Douglas

How can you compare the effects of porn on young men when you can't find anyone that's never seen any?

Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users.

But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it.

“We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,” said Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse. “We couldn't find any.”

After this failure, researchers focused their attention to Santa Claus, Nessie, a fiscally conservative politician, a lipstick lesbian, and the Easter bunny, each with similar results.

Posted 12/05/2009 03:09:00 PM by Douglas

"Please make sure all carry-on items are securely stowed in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of you, leaving the row free from any obstructions."

A woman gave birth to a baby boy on a Southwest Airlines flight from Chicago that had to be diverted to Denver International Airport.

Spokesman Paul Flaningan of Dallas-based Southwest says Flight 441 was about 100 miles north of Denver Friday when the unidentified woman went into labor. Flaningan says the captain decided to divert to Denver but she started to deliver the baby en route.

A doctor and two nurses on board helped deliver the baby at the back of the plane with the help of flight attendants and an in-flight medical radio service.

Oh stewardess, I think the man sitting next to me is a doctor:

The mother and baby were met at the gate by an ambulance and taken to the Medical Center of Aurora, where a spokeswoman says they're doing fine.

After stopping in Denver, the flight continued on to Salt Lake City and then Boise as scheduled.

I realize SouthWest has a schedule, but who was the poor sap that had to sit in that seat for the rest of the way to Salt Lake City? That's a wet spot that a bag of peanuts and a complimentary Heineken isn't going to make up for.

I wonder if SouthWest charged her for having additional luggage?

Posted 12/05/2009 02:48:00 PM by Douglas

What's funnier: that this correction is needed, or that this correction is needed in 2009?

A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.

Also, as a reminder, don't believe the hype.

Posted 12/04/2009 05:54:00 PM by Douglas

As a sign of an early apocalypse, Houston has froze over.

First the snow, now the chill.

Today's daylong snowfall, the earliest in Houston's history, is beginning to let up as the storm system that caused it moves eastward. Meanwhile, temperatures have fallen throughout the day and as of 3:30 p.m. were sitting at 35 degrees at Bush Intercontinental Airport. Factor in the wind and it felt more like the mid-20s.

Ah yes, the wind chill. Don't forget that! But what about 100% relative humidity? Don't they know that relative humidity is as relatively useless wind chill?

Posted 12/04/2009 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Before you know it, there won't be a dive-bar left in this land. I still don't know why a bar with such a grand part of NASA history has to close its bikini-clad doors.

The venerable NASA hangout Outpost Tavern is closing its bikini-clad swinging doors for good.

The scrappy beer joint known for its friendly crowds, tasty burgers and priceless collection of space memorabilia will shut down next month, according to a melancholy Stephanie Foster.

Foster said she received confirmation Friday that the property has been sold and the new owners plan to build something new on the site, perhaps a service station or shopping center. She said she had not been ordered to close, but didn't want to be given a short deadline to get out.

I'm sure the strip-mall they put in its place will be awesome!

Posted 12/04/2009 05:11:00 PM by Douglas

I wasn't a huge fan of the "Doghouse" video last year when I linked it, but it made a big enough impression with my family that dad wrapped up a vacuum cleaner box and put it under the tree for mom. Much to their consternation, the reaction they drew from their children was "Dad got Mom a vacuum cleaner. I guess she wanted one." Little did we know the joke was on us.

So I'm finding this series, "Return to the Doghouse" less humorous:



Do women really want the world to think all they want is something shiny?

Posted 12/03/2009 06:47:00 PM by Douglas

The newest warning label to protect us from ourselves? Altered photographs in advertising. Ok, so it's just the French, but I still think it's funny.

But she has also created a small furor here and abroad with her latest proposal: a draft law that would require all digitally altered photographs of people used in advertising be labeled as retouched.

Underneath it all is an emotional debate about what it is to be attractive or unattractive, and whether the changing ideals of beauty — from Sophia Loren to Twiggy — have ever been realistic.

Well, no. Realistic? Who cares, if it gives people what they want? If it's the magazine's job to portray beauty, whatever that is, and it's the ad's job to sell face-spackle and jeans to women, what difference does it make if the photography isn't realistic? Nothing in those magazines is realistic.

But what about the "preserving the body image of girls" and reducing anorexia? So what then about the pictures that aren't altered? I can imagine a caption (probably in Cosmo) of some unrealistically, yet naturally skinny blonde model that says "yeah, I really am this thin, hot and blonde." Is it the magazine's fault because they print a picture of someone that's prettier than its reader? Why do they need to apologize for that?

Posted 12/03/2009 06:29:00 PM by Douglas

From the sucker punch that was the 9/11 attacks, what would have been Bin Laden's best outcome? Sadly, I think it's something like this:

We do have a pretty good idea how bin Laden pictured victory. It looks a lot like what we’re seeing now. He wanted a holy war. We gave him two. We’ve compromised our values, rolled back civil liberties, and let our politicians generally scare the crap out of us whenever they want new powers. Oh, and we’ve let the bastard live to gloat about it all.

I still think it's funny that the Pentagon (along with the talking heads on TV) talk about victory, as if there ever could be one. And troop withdrawal? We're still occupying Germany and Japan for god's sake.