Posted 8/29/2011 11:17:00 PM by Douglas

This story should be used to teach comedy workshops to aspiring comedians

Canisters of bull semen caused quite a scare on the on-ramp to Interstate 65 South Tuesday morning.

The canisters fell off a Greyhound bus just after 5 a.m. as the bus traveled around the curve of the ramp just south of downtown Nashville.

Fire and emergency crews were called to the scene amid reports of a foul odor.

When they discovered four unmarked canisters with steam and an unpleasant odor coming from them, they shut down the on-ramp and called HAZMAT crews.

Officials traced the containers to Greyhound after finding bus tickets on the ground. The bus did not know it lost its load and had continued on.

Hehe. .it lost its load. I'm sure it told the freight the trip was going to be a lot longer, but once it got going around the curve on the interstate, it just couldn't help itself, and prematurely unloaded on the highway.

A Greyhound spokesperson said it's not uncommon that the bus was carrying bull sperm.

As if we needed a reason not to ride the bus. Who wants to ride shotgun with a thermos full of bovine jizz.

Posted 8/16/2011 09:58:00 PM by Douglas

Ron Paul: the thirteenth floor of the fake right:

The Daily Show

Ron Paul. A true fiscal and conservative. So you can see why jackholes like this want to tank him:

I'm sorry, but this Ron Paul is gonna destroy this party if they keep him in there. This is nuts on parade. The media loves this guy 'cause he's nuts on parade. They want the whole Republican Party to be identified with the kookiness of Ron Paul.

Here's a guy that actually believes that all the foreign wars we're in are illegal, the Fed is stealing all your money, and thinks medicare is socialism. . . and the right thinks he's a kook. Boy are they fucked. . . .

Posted 8/07/2011 07:41:00 PM by Douglas

Once upon a time I was sitting in an undergraduate economics class at a small, secular university in central Texas when a dumb looking sorority girl (is that redundant?) opined, "why does the government run out of money. . can't they just print more?" Everyone, including the professor, rolled their eyes and there was a roll of laughter under everyone's breath. Well, turns out, either she wasn't the dumbest person in the class, or our economy is in big, big trouble. Enter the Greenspan:

Alan Greenspan, Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve: "Very much so. This is not an issue of credit rating, the United States can pay any debt it has because we can always print money to do that. So, there is zero probability of default."

If these are the ideas coming from The Greenspan, this can't be far behind.

Posted 8/04/2011 08:42:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting piece on the end of the Shuttle program, and what got us there.

The problem was that we won to early. By the time of Apollo the Russians understood that they couldn’t win, and they gave up on the race, and told the world it wasn’t worth winning anyway. The grapes were sour. (For those with a modern education, that image is from a story in Aesop’s Fables, and if you never read those as a child, you ought to; you’ve missed something.) So by the time we landed on the Moon, it wasn’t so clear why we were doing it, or what we would get out of it; but it was clear that America was Number One, and our ability to go to space, do things, and come home was the demonstration of that. It wasn’t precisely The Dream, but it would do.

As with any government operation, there are always back-room deals, or it doesn't work. I don't know how much of the Kennedy stuff is true, but from a sheer "jobs program" or "wow, that was cool" aspect, America got its money out of NASA in the last 50 years.

Posted 8/03/2011 10:42:00 PM by Douglas

God has been blogging.

Pretty pleased with what I’ve come up with in just six days. Going to take tomorrow off. Feel free to check out what I’ve done so far. Suggestions and criticism (constructive, please!) more than welcome. God out.

Pretty funny, but the comments are classic:

Disagree with the haters out there who have a problem with man having dominion over the fish of the sea, the fowl of the air, the cattle of the earth, and so on. However, I do think it’s worth considering giving the fowl of the air dominion over the cattle of the earth, because it would be really funny to see, like, a wildebeest or whatever getting bossed around by a baby duck.

Wow. Just wow. I don’t even know where to start. So the man and his buddy the rib-thing have dominion over everything. They’re going to get pretty unbearable really fast. What You need to do is make them think that there were other, bigger, scarier creatures around a long time before them. I suggest dinosaurs. No need to actually create dinosaurs—just create some weird-ass dinosaur bones and skeletons and bury them in random locations. Man will dig them up eventually and think, What the f?

Epic fail.

FIRST!!!

Posted 8/03/2011 10:36:00 PM by Douglas

Here's a great summary of the 'solution' to the debt crisis congress narrowly averted this week. It goes a bit off the deep end with Obama bashing, but I can't argue with most of it.

There are no spending cuts in this plan. It is all accounting fraud. Saying that you are not going to spend money in Afghanistan ten years from now is not spending cuts. Even if you accept the $1 Trillion in cuts over ten years propaganda, that is only $100 Billion per year, which is essentially meaningless relative to the size of the problem. Furthermore, even a miniscule uptick in interest rates, which given the massive debasement of our currency is now a mathematical certainty, will completely consume that $100 Billion per year. It's all a joke.

[...]

China is not going to lend us this money because they simply don't have anything close to that much money to lend. This $2 Trillion is going to come from the Federal Reserve. Where is the Federal Reserve going to get $2 Trillion? They are going to print it out of thin air. We are in the midst of the largest currency debasement ever seen in human history. There is only one result that can come of currency debasement: hyperinflation and total economic and societal collapse.

Yikes.

Posted 8/03/2011 10:30:00 PM by Douglas

Here's an upside to the record setting drought in Texas. The lakes are low enough that debris from the Columbia disaster in 2003 are finally during up in an East Texas lake.

A piece of debris from NASA's space shuttle Columbia has been discovered in Texas, eight years after the 2003 disaster that destroyed the spacecraft and killed its seven-astronaut crew during re-entry, NASA officials confirmed today (Aug. 2).

The debris was discovered last week in eastern Texas. It is a round aluminum power reactant storage and distribution tank from Columbia, which disintegrated over Texas as it re-entered Earth's atmosphere near the end of a 16-day science mission.

The tank was discovered in an exposed area of Lake Nacogdoches, in Nacogdoches, Texas, about 160 miles northeast of Houston.

Funny how some things turn out. I'm sure NASA gave up on looking for their tank by now. Not like the drought is solving any unsolved crimes.