enthalpy

Posted 5/21/2012 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

I'm always amazed at what gets printed in the Amarillo Globe-News. You wouldn't expect to find such a fire and brimstone ranting to make it into a major newspaper. Who am I kidding, the AGN isn't a major newspaper. Exhibit A:

Biblical prophecies reveal the Antichrist is going be a Muslim from the Middle East, Christ will ride on the clouds into Egypt, Turkey will invade Israel and the United States will be victorious in the fight against the Antichrist, \Batshit Crazy/ told a crowd of about 120 Friday.

The self-described former terrorist and Islam-to-Christianity convert spoke in Lubbock at a special insight rally

[Note: The name \Batshit Crazy/ was used to curb this moronathon's google traffic.]

Ok, fine, some kook reads the Bible after napping by an improperly vented gas heater. . . this is nothing new. The rivers will run red with the blood of those that don't properly sort their laundry, or whatever minutia you're splitting from the unquestioned word of God (that was written and edited by men, oh by the way). So what can we expect this time around? Hit me with some crazy:

She invited \Batshit Crazy/, she said, “because \Batshit Crazy/ teaches (and) confirms with the Scriptures that God is going to judge the Middle East, and America is going to be saved. Our oil is going to gush. Our gas is going to gush. He is going to remove people who have the control, and we’ll be the largest oil and gas producers in the world — based on what the Bible says.”

Hear that folks? Might want to buy your Halliburton stock now and avoid the rush.

Posted 5/10/2012 06:34:00 PM by Douglas

So President Obama has come out publicly with a tacit approval of gay marriage. Ok, this shouldn't really surprise anyone, but what's remarkable isn't that he did it, but rather how he did it. Is it not clear to anyone paying attention that this is an election year ploy for media attention? Personally, I can't wait for flag burning to rear its ugly head in the public discourse, but it's only May, and a long time 'till November. So let's look at what he actually said:

President Barack Obama, who said in the past that his views on gay marriage were 'evolving,' said today he thinks same-sex couples should be able to get married. But he also said that gay marriage is an issue for states to decide. Currently, there isn't any federal action in the works to make gay marriage legal. NBC's Chuck Todd reports.

Well that's just great, isn't it? Can't you already hear the MSNBC/FoxNews drums starting to beat? "FINALLY, equality for all," vs. "He's destroying OUR values." Well, no.

I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one in America that thinks it's HILARIOUS that he thinks this is a "State's Rights" issue. Really? Same-sex couples should be allowed to get married, yet only if the state they live in agrees with it? Wow, what a declaration. Compare that to the FEDERAL mandate of the FEDERAL drug war, busting down doors all over the country because someone's neighbor thought they were smoking weed. Or even worse, Obamacare, which he declared was a "right of every American citizen," as he spent every ounce of political capital of his first term to pass. Does he think gay people are this stupid, too, to not see through this political rhetoric? THIS DOESN'T HELP THEM. It's cool and all that Barry can go hang out and raise money with Clooney and other Hollywood liberals that already agree with him, but this does absolutely nothing to the comitted gay couple that seeks a legal union.

The beauty in this statement is that he knows it has about as much momentum as a Denny's waitress telling you she likes pie. So the smart move, on his part at least, is to let the FoxNews/Republican (do we need to differentiate them anymore?) spin machine collapse on itself on this one. Because when it does, it's going to come out that Mitt's grandfather was a polygamist. Hard to defend the sanctity of marriage when you have nine grandmothers, and really, isn't this all about taking down Mitt?

But the point, if I have one, is that marriage may, in fact, be a timeless unification of a man and a woman in the eyes of God. But the State of South Carolina doesn't give a shit about that, and over 50% of American marriages end in divorce, so there's something a LOT less Holy about all this straight marriage talk in that light. If you stand up before your friends, family and God and swear to be with this person "'till death do us part," and you file divorce papers because she deleted all your shows from the DVR, it really takes a LOT less possibility of Steve and Larry's marriage ruining the country, doesn't it? I say let them get married (AND divorced) and see how Larry feels about losing half HIS shit and paying alimony to Steve. What's good for the goose is good for the. . uh, goose?

But the other aspect of this debate is that gay marriage is going to somehow "open the floodgates" to people being allowed to marry animals or buildings. To that I say SO WHAT? Other than the wedding night between the dude and the goat, does anyone feel sorry for the goat? Looking at the legal aspect of marriage again, it's largely a way to account for (and disburse) property. So what about all the crazy people that have left their wealth to their cats? Were they "married" to the cats? Legally, they might as well have been, but honestly, do you really care if some crazy chick marries a cat?

I know I don't, and if you do, you should proably find anything that is a better use of your time. Might I suggest lawn darts?

Also, this random, disjoined post is a reminder to me why I don't blog anymore.