Posted 4/30/2008 05:52:00 PM by Douglas

There is nothing the cult of knuckle-dragging troglodytes in College Station can't fuck up?? First, they had to take the orange out of the carrot. Fine. It's monumentally stupid, but I get it. It's orange and they can't have that. But this?!? This is too far.

Exciting new color variant of the Texas state flower!

I bleed as Burnt Orange as the next guy, but an OrangBonnet is a stupid as it is sacrilegious. I know these mouth-breathers are still pissed off that the sunset is burnt orange, but don't fuck with my state flower.

I'm sure they've got a team of monkeys working in three shifts on changing the color of the sunset. Like there's anything else to do in College Station.

Posted 4/30/2008 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

Some more ground breaking research going on at College Station Kindergarten: Brisket is good.

Texas A&M University scientists Tuesday gave a big thumbs up to barbecued beef brisket, saying the mainstay of he-man Texas cuisine is loaded with the same type of healthy fat found in olive or canola oil.

The high level of monosaturated fat found in brisket — up to 50 percent — comes from feeding cattle corn in a feedlot setting, AgriLife meat scientist Stephen Smith said. The more corn a steer eats, the higher the percentage of the good fat.

I liked aggies a lot better when they were getting drunk and killing themselves with their own poor engineering than justifying Texas Bar-B-Que.

Posted 4/28/2008 09:00:00 PM by Douglas

Big news in a small town in the Panhandle.

A 42-year-old Honduran national suspected of raping three women over 60 in the past two months remained in a Panhandle jail Monday.

Jose Ayala Nunez was arrested Sunday night in Wellington after investigators developed leads from the three attacks, which allegedly occurred March 17, April 10 and April 25.

Each time, the perpetrator broke into the homes, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety.

DPS spokesman Daniel Hawthorne said Nunez did not yet have an attorney. Officials at the Honduran Consulate have been notified, he said. There was no answer at a telephone number for the consulate in Houston.

Nunez, who authorities said is in the country illegally, was awaiting arraignment and remained in the Collingsworth County Jail.

No victim was hospitalized, he said. Hawthorne declined to comment on results of any rape tests done on the women.

Nunez faces two counts of burglary of a habitation with intent to commit sexual assault and one count of aggravated sexual assault — all first-degree felonies.

Wellington is 92 miles southeast of Amarillo.

Correction: Wellington is 100 miles southeast of Amarillo. Still, there are lots of loaded pistols on Wellington nightstands tonight. I asked.

Posted 4/28/2008 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

How to fold a T-shirt in 2-seconds. Instructions here.

Posted 4/27/2008 02:01:00 PM by Douglas

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

This dog's brilliant idea? Killing its owner in his sleep.

Posted 4/26/2008 04:20:00 PM by Douglas

Probably the first effect of the country's disastrous ethanol-as-fuel program is felt by those that like to purchase rice in quantities usually reserved for the Department of Defense:

Two major US bulk retailers are rationing the sale of large bags of rice to consumers amid a growing global food crisis marked by skyrocketing prices and heavy pressure on demand.

Sam's Club, a chain owned by retail giant Wal-Mart, announced Wednesday it was placing a limit of four 20-pound (nine-kilogram) bags per person for imported jasmine, basmati and long grain white rices as a "precautionary step."

"This temporary cap is intended to ensure there is plenty of rice for all our members," said Sam's Club, which has 600 stores across the United States, adding that the measure did not apply to smaller bags of rice.

The move follows similar steps taken by its main rival, Costco, which has also limited the sale of rice in its stores.

Both companies insist that they have plenty of rice but say the steps were necessary to ensure there was enough for all of their clients.

I wonder if they're rationing aluminum foil in quantities sufficient to make a bass boat or the five gallon bucket of sliced pickles?

Labels: ethanol

Posted 4/26/2008 03:49:00 PM by Douglas

I see LOTS of examples of how everyday life is becoming exactly like Idiocracy, but this one is just too funny to be real. Brawndo! And check out this commercial, which isn't far from being usable for a sports drink. But what's not fake? Our next president is pandering to the smackdown crowd:

Barack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton and John McCain will appear on World Wrestling Entertainment's live "Monday Night Raw" (8-11 p.m. EST on cable's USA network) but instead of smacking each other down, they separately will deliver some wrestling-themed stumping in taped messages before Tuesday's Pennsylvania primary.

"Tonight, in honor of the WWE, you can call me Hillrod," Clinton says in her message. "This election is starting to feel a lot like `King of the Ring.' The only difference? The last man standing may just be a woman."

Obama borrows The Rock's famous catchphrase during his appearance.

"To the special interests who've been setting the agenda in Washington for too long and to all the forces of division and distraction that has stopped us from making progress, for the American people, I've got one question: Do you smell what Barack is cooking?" Obama says before flashing a smile.

McCain, meanwhile, looked to Hulkamania for inspiration for his message.

"Looks like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama want to celebrate their differences in the ring," McCain says. "Well, that's fine with me, but let me tell you: If you want to be the man, you have to beat the man. Come November, it'll be game over. And whatcha gonna do when John McCain and all his McCainiacs run wild on you?"

I weep for the future.

Posted 4/26/2008 03:29:00 PM by Douglas

Panchito is Puddles again, and all is right in South Texas.

ALICE — The high-profile tug-of-war over a small dog ended abruptly here Thursday when an irate judge ordered the city's former mayor to give up the Shih Tzu she has kept since a neighbor asked her to care for it 10 months ago.

State District Judge Richard Terrell blistered both sides after presiding over a brisk two-hour lawsuit trial that included testimony about flea infestation and degrees of house-brokenness.

The bizarre story of puppy love drew international media attention earlier this year, from the front page of the New York Times to the Geraldo Rivera show, much of it at the expense of the city's image.

'Just plain, flat ridiculous'

And Terrell was clearly ready to bring it all to a quick end at trial, holding the lawyers on a tight leash and keeping the legal focus narrow.

And when both sides rested, he unloaded.

"I can't tell you what a spectacle this has been and the multitude of jokes that I've had to hear," Terrell said, adding, "A lot of this is just plain, flat ridiculous."

Yeah, but never underestimate the extent to which local politicians will engage in pointless, petty bullshit.

Labels: Panchito

Posted 4/26/2008 03:19:00 PM by Douglas

Great video of a C-130 making an unarrested carrier landing.



This qualifies Lt. James Flatley III, pilot during the tests, as having HUGE. BALLS. Maybe he doesn't require a specially fitted flight suit like Joseph Kittinger, but close.

Posted 4/23/2008 07:20:00 PM by Douglas

Engineer's guide to cats. Freakin' hillarious.



Thanks, squirrel!

Posted 4/23/2008 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

The future of the American manned spaceflight program, after this year's election.

Cortez, according to the story, burned his boats to force his men to move inland with no option of going back. The Shuttle program is, metaphorically, like Cortez's boats. After 2010, the Shuttles are gone. The Constellation project will provide the vehicles for the next big step in space exploration. That is unless Barack Obama becomes our 44th president.

Back to the Cortez analogy. The space boats are being burned on schedule as the Shuttle program phases out. The way forward is on the Ares 1 rocket and the CEV - Cortez's guns and horses. But Capitan Hernando Obama says, "Men, let's keep the guns clean and the powder dry, but not feed the horses for five years while we sit here on the beach and hope."

I've said it before: Either America wants a space program, or it doesn't. NASA and its contractors sit in so many Congressional districts across the country, I doubt any President has the power to do something so drastic. But just like every other government program, it's just a show of hands in Congress away from becoming the strategic helium reserve. Maybe not so much of a bad thing, but NO private entity has the capacity to get into, or out of, low earth orbit, without government money. Is another moon mission a good use of 0.7% of your tax penny?

Posted 4/23/2008 05:09:00 PM by Douglas

Keep in mind when it comes to Russian space travel, a successful landing is one that you can walk be carried away from. All that aside, this doesn't sound good.

NASA isn't too worried about the Soyuz space capsule's wayward ride home over the weekend, saying Tuesday that the Russians have got a handle on it.

This was the second straight off-course landing for a Soyuz capsule returning from the international space station. A Russian space official told the Russian news agency Interfax that the crew of three_ including American Peggy Whitson — was in serious danger during the descent.

But NASA associate administrator for space operations William H. Gerstenmaier downplayed such alarm. NASA wasn't aware of any danger for the crew although it didn't ask if the crew was at risk, Gerstenmaier said in a Tuesday news teleconference.

"I don't see this as a major problem," Gerstenmaier said in NASA's first comments about the landing. "But it's clearly something that should not have occurred."

Not a "major problem?" What kind of problem does it sound like?

After the landing, it took a half hour before Soyuz flight engineer Yuri Malenchenko called Moscow on a satellite phone to say they were OK. But no one was worried because it often takes an entire hour for this to occur, he said.

Malenchenko "detected some smoke in the cabin," Gerstenmaier said. Then the NASA official added that it was "maybe not smoke, but actually the smell of burning materials" and that is not uncommon.

The crew was subjected to gravity forces of about eight times Earth's gravity for up to two minutes, he said. Normal Soyuz returns have G-forces of about five, NASA said.

Imagine for a moment what eight Gs would feel like. Now imagine what 8 Gs would feel like after a year of Zero G. I imagine you'd be crapping your pants like Louis Farrakhan at a Toby Keith concert. But let's get the rookie for the real scoop:

Yi said that despite the fire she saw outside, she realized that it was not even warm inside the capsule. "I looked at the others and I pretended to be OK," said Yi, a 29-year-old bioengineer.

Well that's one way to deal with it.

When's that CEV gonna be ready to launch?

Posted 4/20/2008 02:08:00 PM by Douglas

Cattle ranchers: Don't let wildebeests mingle with your heifers. They might tell you they're going to use protection, but they're lying.

About 130 cows grazing on a Texas ranch became infected with a deadly virus that's carried only by wildebeests but not harmful to humans, agricultural officials said Friday.

The wildebeests, native to Africa, were on an undisclosed private Texas ranch that holds various wild animals.

Although the wildebeests' fate is not known, the cattle they infected will be destroyed and their owners compensated, U.S. Department of Agriculture officials said.

Texans have long feared their females catchin' something nasty from Africa. Here's proof.

Posted 4/20/2008 02:01:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting blog of old pictures. Some are more interesting than others, but pictures like this really puts it all into perspective when you kids start whining about the batteries in their gameboy.

Posted 4/20/2008 01:43:00 PM by Douglas

Danica finally won!

Danica Patrick became the first female winner in IndyCar history Sunday, taking the Indy Japan 300 after the top contenders were forced to pit for fuel in the final laps.

"It's a long time coming. Finally," Patrick said. "It was a fuel strategy race, but my team called it perfectly for me. I knew I was on the same strategy as Helio and when I passed him for the lead, I couldn't believe it. This is fabulous."

The 26-year-old Patrick won in her 50th career IndyCar start, taking the lead from Castroneves on the 198th lap in the 200-lap race.

Would have been cooler if she didn't start bawlin' right after she won, but go figure.

Posted 4/16/2008 05:46:00 PM by Douglas

As with most stories in nature, the saga of the Mockingbirds in my back yard didn't have a happy ending. A week after that picture of the babies was taken, this is what they looked like. They grow up so fast:

They were growing fast, and soon to be kicked out of the nest. Maybe a little bit too soon. Saturday night Mom & Dad were causing a tremendous stir just inside the neighbor's fence. A quick peek inside revealed that one of the babies got into their yard and was quickly killed by the dog.

As sad as that is, it happens, and mom & dad had other obligations that they were totally neglecting while trying to scare a dog off the corpse of their dead baby. So I go next door, wrangle up the body, all the while hoping mom & dad focus up on their other chicky that has been perched on my fence during this ordeal:

While pure bedlam is going on next door with mom & dad and his dead brother, chirpy-boy here is trying to make like a hole in the air. Well, nightfall is looming and the meddling human decides chirpy-boy isn't going to make the night boppin' around on the ground, so I put on some gloves, scoop him up, and put him back in his nest. Maybe mom & dad will completely abandon him, but he's got a better chance at survival in the nest than he does on the ground, right? Right. So that was Saturday, and we wake up Sunday to find this in the yard:

So it's a big nothing. Out of three chicks, maybe one got away, one got killed by a dog, and one got ate by a cat. Such is life, but I watched, for weeks, how hard mom & dad worked to feed those three babies, and I have to feel some of their pain (or I wouldn't have scooped up baby-catfood #3 and put him back in his nest).

I don't know what the moral to the story is here.

Posted 4/16/2008 05:39:00 PM by Douglas

Immigration laws are one thing, but don't get between a Houstonian and his doughnut.

Federal agents today raided a large Shipley Do-Nuts facility on Houston's north side, where they have arrested 20 workers suspected of being illegal immigrants.

So who is gonna make the donuts, this guy? I think he retired.

Posted 4/15/2008 08:14:00 PM by Douglas

What song was #1 the day you were born? Weird to think that Jim Croce's Time in a Bottle was on the radio when mom was on the way to squeeze me out.

Posted 4/15/2008 08:12:00 PM by Douglas

Won't someone please think about the fish!

It seems the neighbors complain, but nothing happens for God knows how long. Then when they finally raid, they just get a bunch of junkies and a small amount of drugs. What about catching the suppliers in the act as well? Why are such small amounts found; where are the bulk of the drugs?

Perhaps they flush them down the toilet as soon as the raid starts, and these poisons go down through our sewer systems and end up in the bay, a river, and ultimately into the ocean. Can someone tell us what effect these toxins are having on our fisheries?

Because that's what we all need: more drug raids.

Posted 4/15/2008 05:20:00 PM by Douglas

Fascinating story of the most banal part of a building: the elevator, and one guy's terrifying entrapment.

Two things make tall buildings possible: the steel frame and the safety elevator. The elevator, underrated and overlooked, is to the city what paper is to reading and gunpowder is to war. Without the elevator, there would be no verticality, no density, and, without these, none of the urban advantages of energy efficiency, economic productivity, and cultural ferment. The population of the earth would ooze out over its surface, like an oil slick, and we would spend even more time stuck in traffic or on trains, traversing a vast carapace of concrete. And the elevator is energy-efficient—the counterweight does a great deal of the work, and the new systems these days regenerate electricity. The elevator is a hybrid, by design.

And don't miss the security video of the forty one hours he was stuck in the damn thing, as at least four different shifts of security guards sat idly by. Yeah, I think I'd sue too.

Posted 4/14/2008 05:46:00 PM by Douglas

Hillary, the gun nut.

“You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught me how to shoot when I was a little girl,” she said.

Is anyone buying this horse shit?

Posted 4/14/2008 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

The Swedish Chef is always funny:



börk! börk! börk!

Posted 4/10/2008 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

I thought it was funny when the Catholic church updated the "new" seven deadly sins, but leave it to Mr. O'Rourke to really nail it.

Unfortunately Bishop Girotti's late-model sins make as little sense as a Jeremiah Wright sermon. They have no gravitas. Imagine the reaction in the confessional when you say, "Father, I have littered." Plus the supplementary desecrations lack a certain flair. The beauty of Pope Gregory's lineup was that he nailed our most devilish villainies with one word each. His seven evocative nouns produced an instant mental image: a puffed-up, shifty-eyed, fat cat furiously ripping the thong off a young intern on a slow night in the Oval Office.

I pretend to no expertise, let alone authority, in religious matters. However, I can't resist the temptation of having a go, myself, at The Seven Deadly, Part II. (I once would have felt it was prideful to do so, but that was before building my self-esteem.)

That's pretty durn funny. But pay attention to this one:

The 11th Commandment is, "Thou shalt not blog."

Words to live by!

Posted 4/10/2008 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Government prognosticators scaring us about hurricanes is one thing, but if you want to see a real waste of government resources, check this out. Allow me to sum up: If you spend less money on things that might cost you more money, you might save some money. And other things equally as stupid.

Posted 4/10/2008 05:21:00 PM by Douglas

It's that time of year again: Time for springtime, lawn mowing, during on the A/C, and having some hurricane forecaster blowing smoke up our ass.

Gray defines normal activity as the average number of named storms that developed annually between 1950 and 2000. That average was 9.6 named storms — systems that achieved at least tropical storm status and were given such names as Allison, Bret or Charley.

Hurricane forecasters generally agree that the Atlantic entered an active storm period in 1995, when natural forces, global warming or some combination thereof began warming the seas, causing more storms to form.

Don't as a barber if you need a haircut, especially if he's drawing a government check.

Posted 4/10/2008 05:14:00 PM by Douglas

There's a fine line between "doing whatever the hell you want to" and religious freedom.

A Santeria priest who lost a federal challenge alleging Euless' ban on animal slaughter encroached on his right to practice religion in his home is appealing the case.

"The First Amendment was written to protect the ability of all faiths to worship in their own homes and in their own way," Kevin "Seamus" Hasson, founder and president of the Becket Fund, a Washington-based civil rights law firm, said in a news release. "People of all faiths should be concerned when the government says someone cannot practice their religion in their own home."

I like cabrito as much as the next guy, but isn't there a line to draw here somewhere? If I need the blood of a virgin gopher spit on a 13 year old figure skater in front of the Harlem Globetrotters, then my religion isn't really being oppressed, is it?

First step to keep your church from being oppressed? Quit being so damn weird.

Posted 4/07/2008 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting look at black-ops military patches.

Skulls. Black cats. A naked woman riding a killer whale. Grim reapers. Snakes. Swords. Occult symbols. A wizard with a staff that shoots lightning bolts. Moons. Stars. A dragon holding the Earth in its claws.

No, this is not the fantasy world of a 12-year-old boy.

It is, according to a new book, part of the hidden reality behind the Pentagon’s classified, or “black,” budget that delivers billions of dollars to stealthy armies of high-tech warriors. The book offers a glimpse of this dark world through a revealing lens — patches — the kind worn on military uniforms.

Don't miss the slideshow. It's worth it just for "Gustatus Similis Pullus." Tastes like chicken.

Posted 4/07/2008 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

This kind of fake controversy makes me tired from the first soundbite, yet I feel the need to link the image:

Ok, we get it. Whitey stole the American South West from Mexico in 1850. We're all bad people and should feel guilty as hell that San Diego doesn't look like Tijuana or Denver doesn't look like Guadalajara (yet). But what's really offensive is the corporate response:

This particular ad, which ran in Mexico, was based upon historical perspectives and was created with a Mexican sensibility. In no way was this meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues. Instead, it hearkens to a time which the population of Mexico may feel was more ideal.

As a global company, we recognize that people in different parts of the world may lend different perspectives or interpret our ads in a different way than was intended in that market. Obviously, this ad was run in Mexico, and not the US -- that ad might have been very different.

By Paula Eriksson, VP Corporate Communications, V&S Absolut Spirits

Could you get any more fucking patronizing, Paula? It's a liquor ad, and you're trying to get Mexicans to think back on the "good old days" when California was still Mexico? I know there are lots of groups that are advocating for the "recapture" of the southwest by Mexico and more specifically, Mexicans. But there are still millions of people that are risking their lives to get here. Hell, the Mexican government produced and distributed their own instructional comic book for a safe, happy, and illegal border crossing. Imagine your dismay if you just walked all the way through the desert to get to California to find you're back in Mexico?!? How far is it to Canada, Pepe?

Posted 4/07/2008 11:57:00 AM by Douglas

A religious compound gets raided a few days before Texas is hit with an earthquake?

A minor earthquake occurred about 95 miles south-southwest of Austin early this morning, according to the U.S. Geological Survey's National Earthquake Information Center.

The quake was detected at 4:51 a.m. and registered 3.7 on the 10-point Richter Scale, used to measure the energy of earthquakes.

This can't be a good sign.

Labels: Earthquakes

Posted 4/07/2008 11:46:00 AM by Douglas

I hate it when I agree with The New York Times.

This is especially true of corn ethanol: even on optimistic estimates, producing a gallon of ethanol from corn uses most of the energy the gallon contains. But it turns out that even seemingly “good” biofuel policies, like Brazil’s use of ethanol from sugar cane, accelerate the pace of climate change by promoting deforestation.

And meanwhile, land used to grow biofuel feedstock is land not available to grow food, so subsidies to biofuels are a major factor in the food crisis. You might put it this way: people are starving in Africa so that American politicians can court votes in farm states.

Well, not exactly, but it does take more energy to make ethanol than it produces, not to mention you have to burn more of it in your car because it has a lower energy density. So it uses more energy than it creates, and it pollutes more than gasoline does. Since no one is going to listen to the science, I have no problem with Paul Krugman linking it to starving babies.

Posted 4/06/2008 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

The hardest working single-mother currently living in my backyard:

This momma bird, which I've probably mis-characterized as a blue jay is a mockingbird, [see update below] has been bringing grubs to a nest in my new oak tree for a couple of weeks now. After seeing her chase other birds out of the yard, I finally got the guts to take a look in her nest. This is what she's been taking care of:

God speed, little birdies!

---

Update!!

I've been corrected. Admonished, actually, in that I didn't immediately recognize this as the State Bird of Texas, the Mockingbird, which it clearly is. My apologies to those that were offended, to those that actually know what their state bird is, and to those that think I no longer deserve to have a Texas Flag mailbox.

Posted 4/06/2008 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Ted Turner: billionaire, philanthropist, media giant, and bat shit crazy.

We'll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.

Maybe that's why he's buying up all of New Mexico. Hope you enjoyed the Kool-Aide, Ted.

Posted 4/06/2008 05:21:00 PM by Douglas

I don't know why this is illegal. Disgusting, but no illegal.

Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

Don't think I'll be over at his house for the 4th of July.

Posted 4/06/2008 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

I like mine scattered, smothered and covered.

Is there anything that people won't do with bacon? We've had bacon cups, meat cabins and ships, bacon mats and candy bacon. However, until today, I'd never seen anyone wear bacon. This may just become the next thing in undergarments. It's wire-free, made of all-natural materials and could double as a snack in a pinch.

There's a larger version of the image after the jump, for those of you who want a closer look at this hand-crafted bacon bra.

That's just stupid. Awesomely stupid.

Posted 4/06/2008 02:30:00 PM by Douglas

Remember that weird Mormon cult disowned by the church in Salt Lake City and has been holed up in their compound out in West Texas since 2001? I linked it here, here, and here. As you might have guessed by now, it was raided on Friday.

Law enforcement agents entered an enormous temple on the grounds of a polygamist compound, but by Sunday morning they still had not found a 16-year-old girl whose initial report of abuse led to the raid.

More than 180 women and children were taken Friday and Saturday from the compound built by followers of polygamist leader Warren Jeffs, but Marleigh Meisner, a spokeswoman for Child Protective Services, said Sunday that investigators were still trying to determine whether the girl who called authorities last week was among them.

Don't they know that a compound raid is supposed to have a shit load of guns, tanks, and flame throwers? Where is Janet "baby killer" Reno when we really need her?

Posted 4/03/2008 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

If only everyone's obit read like this.

He passed away after a long, courageous battle with honky-tonkin’ and alley-cattin’.

Even though Jack was incredibly old, he was amazingly healthy right up to the end. He attributed this to performing his funny cowboy dance for friends, relatives, and people waiting for buses. All agreed it was the most hilarious thing they had ever seen, and not at all stupid or annoying.

Jack’s death has thrown the whole world into mourning, and not in a fakey, sarcastic way.

[. . .]

He was fabulously wealthy, but he would pretend to be broke, and often tried to borrow cigarettes and money from people. Little did they know that those who gave him stuff would later be rewarded in his will, with jewels and antigravity helmets. Women who refused to have sex with him are probably wishing that they could turn back the clock and say yes.

Rest in Peace, brother man. You died as you lived: Fictitiously.

Posted 4/03/2008 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

Beloved Mexican restaurant falls to yuppies and their quest for downtown lofts.

The Guadalajara, opened 40 years ago by Chavez and her husband, Heraclio, is set to be razed in August to make way for upscale housing that has steadily transformed Washington Avenue's gritty streetscape in the past 10 years.

Already a neighboring auto body shop has been leveled. Across the street, a $3 million apartment project nears completion. Elsewhere on Washington, the venerable Pig Stand diner stands empty and a wine bar has opened. Efforts to find a new, affordable home for the Guadalajara have failed.

I have no clue why they sold out. If they were that beloved, they would have held out. But what yuppies want, yuppies get. Here's the best part:

Then, as the packed dining room falls into a silent taco-fueled reverie, the door opens and in walks the future — a near-middle-aged Anglo woman in stylish attire.

She approaches the counter, then inquires: "Do you use lard in your tortillas?"

"Yes," Rodriguez nods, and the would-be customer falls silent, then backs away.

Eat the lard, yuppie scum! Stop destroying America.

Posted 4/03/2008 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

I have no idea why I find this picture so damn intriguing, but I do:

U.S. Army Sgt. Cameron Adams, 29, left, and his wife, Spc. Chelsea Adams, 26, right, are seen at Forward Operating Base Marez in Mosul, 360 kilometers (225 miles) northwest of Baghdad, Iraq, Thursday, March 27, 2008. The two, who married Sept. 11, 2004, are deployed together with the Third Armored Cavalry Regiment. The Army is allowing scores of husband-and-wife soldiers to live and sleep together in the war zone -- a move aimed at preserving marriages, boosting morale and perhaps bolstering re-enlistment rates at a time when the military is struggling to fill its ranks five years into the fighting.

Posted 4/02/2008 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

It's anniversary time here at crap-blog, so happy birthday to me! And like most six year-olds, I've developed the subtle sophistication you'd expect from most second graders.

I don't really have anything to commemorate today, so I'll just say I have no idea where this has been, and even less where it's going. But honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I've enjoyed both of you (you know who you are!) stopping by!

Labels: pointless milestone

Posted 4/02/2008 05:21:00 PM by Douglas

Transitions are rough. NASA is tasked with finding a way to fly the Shuttle 'till the last wheel-stop, while at the same time they've got to find some talented folks to build the new ship. So it's not surprised that they run a straight scare piece like this.

As many as 2,300 people, most of them contractors, could lose their jobs at Johnson Space Center as the shuttle fleet nears retirement in two years, NASA officials predicted Tuesday.

Well, yes and no. Are the Shuttle jobs going away? Good lord, I hope so. Are most of these folks (if not more) going to get picked up by the Constellation program? Most definitely. But it's too early to bang the gong of NASA/Houston drying up and blowing away. Clear Lake is a diverse area, and very few of my neighbors here in the Gas-Pumper District of Pressboard Estates works for NASA or its contractors.

The bigger question for the area and the country is if we even want a manned spaceflight program. I'm not stupid enough to think that the new President could sink NASA, but Obama would rather spend 0.07% of your tax dollars on school lunches and McCain wants to be in Iraq for the next century. So Mars isn't looking like it's going to happen, politically.

But if it does, I know some really bright, motivated, and dedicated engineers that want to see Old Glory in the Red Dirt in their lifetime. If not, well hell, oil's over $100 a barrel, and they're always looking for engineers. But again, I ask what would you rather see: Your name on a plaque on the Martian lander, or your hard work going towards keeping Exxon's profit share up?