enthalpy

Sunday, May 31, 2009


Incredible pictures from the Space Shuttle's last mission that doesn't go to the huge tenement building in the sky.

This is what $7 out of every $1,000 of your tax dollars buys you.



Thanks, Chronicle, for telling us absolutely nothing.
It remains unclear whether Atlantis will pass through Houston on its journey from California to Florida.

A Johnson Space Center spokesperson said officials keep the route pretty quiet for security reasons.
"Security Reasons?" Really, NASA? What are you worried about?



It took almost a year, but Galveston finally admit that they dropped the ball during Ike.
As the 2009 hurricane season begins Monday, island residents can’t yet shake last September’s historic storm.

Hurricane Ike evacuees are still fuming about being kept off the island two weeks after the storm struck Galveston on Sept. 13.
Good luck with all of that, Galveston. Hurricane season '09 starts tomorrow.



It's not the year for a triple crown winner. Not a horse, anyway.
Calvin Borel will get back on Mine That Bird with a chance to become the first jockey to win the Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and the Belmont on different horses.
Man, if he wins, his stud fee is going to go through the roof!



Thursday, May 28, 2009


Back in my day, it was "hugs, not drugs." Well not anymore.
A measure of how rapidly the ritual is spreading is that some students complain of peer pressure to hug to fit in. And schools from Hillsdale, N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching — or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals to class — have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule.
Don't they have real problems in schools?



Sotomayor faces some challenges, this time around from the Pro abortion side, worried that the 5-4 court might possibly overturn the illegally decided Roe.text
“Discussion about Roe v. Wade will — and must — be part of this nomination process,” Ms. Keenan wrote. “As you know, choice hangs in the balance on the Supreme Court as the last two major choice-related cases were decided by a 5-to-4 margin.”

Because Judge Sotomayor is the choice of a president who supports abortion rights at a time when Democrats hold a substantial majority in the Senate, both sides in the debate have tended to assume she could be counted on to preserve the Roe decision.
Well, you can't have it both ways, can you? What's good for the Souter is good for the Obama.



Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Looks like Texas might step up and be Texas when it comes to red light cameras.
The statewide banning of red-light cameras is now more possible than ever.

Reps. Carl Isett, Gary Elkins and other lawmakers believe the cameras are not just a way for cities to make extra money, but deny motorists the right to face their accuser in court.

"I feel good about our chances" Isett, R-Lubbock, said Tuesday. "I think it will advance."

The legislation to ban red-light cameras is moving despite strong opposition from local governments.
Yeah, well, no shit. Any city will think a red light camera is a the goose shitting golden eggs (or however that goes) as is evident by how fast every city in Texas is throwing them up.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009


This story just keeps getting weirder and weirder. I can relate with her, though. After being in Albuquerque for a brief time, I wanted to forget all about it, too. Is there such a thing as selective amnesia?
The 34-year-old Albuquerque woman suffering from apparent amnesia as a result of being struck in the head after she moved to Houston for a sales job does not recognize her own name and has chosen not to see her family because she does not remember them, police said today.
Poor woman. At least she got help and got out of that shit-hole.



There's something to be said for being prepared but these people are taking it way too far:
Emergency supply retailers and military surplus stores nationwide have seen business boom in the past few months as an increasing number of Americans spooked by the economy rush to stock up on gear that was once the domain of hardcore survivalists.

These people snapping up everything from water purification tablets to thermal blankets shatter the survivalist stereotype: they are mostly urban professionals with mortgages, SUVs, solid jobs and a twinge of embarrassment about their newfound hobby.

From teachers to real estate agents, these budding emergency gurus say the dismal economy has made them prepare for financial collapse as if it were an oncoming Category 5 hurricane. They worry about rampant inflation, runs on banks, bare grocery shelves and widespread power failures that could make taps run dry.
Being prepared is a pretty common occurrence on the Gulf Coast during hurricane season, yet there always people clamoring in lines for food and ice because they don't have squat. That's understandable, but why in the cornbread hell would you stack your house with a month's worth of food? My question is always "what are you going to do after that month?" If society really collapses and you can't get a box of Post Toasties anymore, what are you going to do after your MREs run out? 'Cause if we go all Mad-Max, you better have taught yourself how to hunt and farm by the time that of beanie-weenies runs out.



So it looks like it's gonna be Sotomayor. Is that good? Ida know, but I know this quote is going to be drug through the mud:
"I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life"
I'm already kinda bored with it, but switch it around and say a latina couldn't have the rich perspective of a white man, and just listen to how silly it sounds. She's a bright woman, but is that why she got the nod? Guess we'll never know, since we're going to hear "first hispanic justice" more than her qualifications. But is that even important? Do we really need a left-handed Ukrainian to represent all the down-trodden Ukrainians out there? So when am I going to get my shot at being the first Supreme Court Justice that's a West-Texas redneck. Oh, nevermind. Damn you, Sandy!!!



Saturday, May 23, 2009


Funny, yet puerile video of the test of the ISS's new urine processor. Hey, someone had to be the first to try it:



"Do we even have a machine?"



There's very little about this that's not hilarious. Check out the T-shirt and try not to laugh. I dare you.
A T-shirt has become one of the most popular items sold by online retailer Amazon in the past few weeks.

Sales of the kitsch Three Wolf Moon T-shirt shot up 2,300% after a spate of ironic reviews went viral.

The first review gave the shirt five stars, saying it "Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women" but "cannot see wolves with arms crossed".

That prompted hundreds of others to post frivolous reviews, turning the page into an internet phenomenon.
Why do I kinda want one? Ya know, it does have the perfect wolf to moon ratio:




When bribing an IRS agent for $50k in back taxes so you can stay in the country, maybe you should try something a little more tempting than pizza.
That’s how the IRS got him for not only nearly $50,000 in back taxes but also for offering the agent a $2,500 bribe. He delivered $2,000 of the bribe before his arrest, the release said.

Authorities said Khilnani, who is subject to deportation to India after he serves his sentence, “repeatedly offered the agent pizza from his restaurant as part of the deal.”
Maybe he should have thrown in the crazy bread.



Perpetual high-chair banger and Fox News coprophagist Mancow submits to waterboarding, with hilarious results:



Instant classic. Sean Hannity, call your office. Come on man, don't pussy out now. Just because Mancow (and the rest of the world) calls it torture doesn't mean you'll have to admit you're wrong when you start crying for momma like a little girl.

But the truly genius event: Dick Cheney. Put that on pay-per-view and we could eliminate the deficit in about 14 seconds.



Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Big changes in the credit card business. But is it good news for everyone?
"This cements a victory for every American consumer who has ever suffered at the hands of the credit card industry," said Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., chairman of the Banking Committee.

But there will be losers too.

Banks, which oppose the legislation, will need to make up the cost somewhere, and cardholders who pay off their balance in full each month could see new annual fees and lucrative rewards programs canceled. Credit could become harder to come by too.
Free money ain't free, retards. Your $20 cash-back comes at someone else's $59 late fee. Wait, is there anyone upset about that transaction? I didn't think so. And then there's this:
If you “have to” use plastic, I suggest a debit card. I use them for travel and the occasional convenience of ordering something over the Internet or phone. Other than that, I use cash.

Personal finance is 80 percent behavior. You need to cut out habits that make you spend more. You do not build wealth with credit cards. Use common sense. When you play with a multibillion-dollar industry and you think you’re going to win at their game, you are naive. You cannot beat the credit card companies.

Would someone give Dave Ramsey a free plane ticket so he'll shut his freakin' pie hole? Ok, most people get in over their heads with credit card debt. But some people make money by paying them off every month. So to say "cash only" is pretty durn stupid, unless, oh, I don't know, you've printed a million or two books citing how evil credit cards are, and how cash only is the only way to go.

Moron

You're a cult. A cult just like Oprah, Mary Kay, and Tupperware, and even they take credit cards, you narcissistic asshole.



Friday, May 15, 2009


I got some business cards today, and I was immediately reminded of this guy:



What a massive tool. 25 years to come up with a pop-up card with his face on it? Way to go, genius.

And cards bigger (or to a lesser extent, smaller) than the standard get pitched or lost. Get over yourself, douchebag.



Thursday, May 14, 2009


Just when I thought the internet couldn't get more awkward, I find this. Words fail me.



Having never heard of the Beatbox World Championship, imagine my surprise when I found this chick:



Stunning, just stunning.



Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Sometimes, there is a wanted man:



Michelle Shocked, in all her ambiguous glory.



Print media is going the way of the telegraph, so it's no surprise that Playboy and its so-called "articles" is beginning to suffer, too.
Reeling from declines in readership and advertising, Playboy magazine is contemplating "radical changes" that may include cutting its circulation and reducing the frequency with which it is published, Jerome Kern, interim chairman and chief executive of Playboy Enterprises Inc. told analysts Monday.
I think I'm on the edge of my seat on this one. Like most things that are being shown to be obsolete in the 21st century (GM, newspapers, capitalism) I don't think Playboy is much different. It was such a groundbreaking yardstick of social consciousness for so long. But now the median it splits is torn between hard-core stroke magazines and soft fluff with oiled, binki clad doxies, neither of which anyone is buying anymore. But what does that say about America? An America without a Miss July and a new Chevy convertible is an America where Stalin won:
Next up is a make-over of its flagship publication. Playboy plans to combine its July and August issues into a single edition to reduce printing and distribution costs, and it is looking at trimming its circulation and reducing its advertising rates, officials said.
Well, whatever. Playboy playmates have been interchangeable a long time before they collectively decided to shed their pubic hair. I suppose the world will get along without a monthly Playmate, but even as generic, plastic and blonde as she was for the last 25 years, wouldn't you rather sit next to her on your flight to Denver than say, oh, I don't now, anyone? There may be a million annoying people on a million flights, but there is, and will always be, only one Miss (pick a month). And she's probably hotter than anyone you've ever made out with.

[via]



I sure hope I'm not the only one that finds the irony in this. We give dumptruck after dumptruck full of money to banks because they're in trouble, but now Barry wants to take one of their most sacred cash cows and put her out to pasture. Does that makes sense?
The problem with the credit-card industry isn't just credit-card companies - it's you too. This week the Senate takes up a bill that would seriously clamp down on some of the industry's most unsavory practices, a piece of legislation that President Obama has said he wants on his desk by the end of the month. The bill, which builds on rules issued by the Federal Reserve Board and other agencies at the end of last year, would do away with interest-rate hikes on existing balances, prohibit issuers from putting customer payments toward lower-rate balances first and abolish the practice of raising a customer's interest rate because he was late paying a bill to someone else.
I don't have to wait for the chorus: The banks are going to say they can't afford to operate if they don't have these douche-bag maneuver in their tool kit. That may or may not be abject horse shit, but really, is this the kind of "financial regulation" that we need to be focusing on right now?
Credit-card companies, though, may not be the only ones we need to be protected from. Every penny of Americans' nearly $1 trillion in revolving debt started with someone - some individual person - whipping out a piece of plastic and making a decision to use it. We could consider that free will and just call it a day, but there's plenty of reason to believe the story isn't so simple. There are piles of evidence that people are bad decision makers when it comes to how they use credit cards. Even when presented with full and fair information, they often make decisions that are not in their own economic best interest - a reality only partly taken into account by the new rules and pending legislation.
Boo fucking Hoo. I'm not in favor of any kind of predatory lending, but this doesn't even come close, and it's totally avoidable. A 5% mortgage on a $200K house is going to pay $186K, in interest only over the 30 year life of the loan. And that's a good loan. That makes credit cards look like amateurs.

Late fees, over limit fees, changing interest rates; these are all pretty slimy moves, but you get no sympathy because you don't want to pay your bills. There are plenty of people that can't pay their bills, and it's tragic that they have to use credit cards to finance necessities like health care (or even worse, food), but this type of regulation will make it harder, not easier, for them to get credit when they need it.
What we need to do, that argument continues, is frame information about how much credit cards cost in a way that really drives the point home. In 2007, a group of Senators introduced a bill that would have required credit-card companies to state on each billing statement how long it would take a person to pay off his balance and how much it would cost in principal and interest should he make only the minimum required payment each month.
I would love to see this, along with how much total interest it's going to cost to get there. I saw the spokesman for the credit card PAC on Frontline say the reason they don't put your pay-off time on your monthly statement is because if you made an additional payment between statements, that number wouldn't be accurate. And he said that with a straight face.

Your interest rate for an unsecured loan is going to be based on the likelihood you pay it back, so it's not a stretch that people that miss payments get a higher rate, and if you're bitching about late fees, try not being late. Maybe if Washington (and Austin) got less of our money off the top we wouldn't be looking to Visa to finance the rampant consumerism we're told the country can't survive without.



Monday, May 11, 2009


Your power is out, the beer is getting hot and there's an ice line down at the FEMA POD. What the hell else are you gonna do? The funniest part of this? Compare this boom to one when there wasn't a cold front that followed the hurricane. Methinks the baby boom would have been considerably smaller with no A/C in South East Texas in September:
Doctors who work in Houston’s busiest maternity ward say they’re expecting an especially bustling June, leading some to conclude that Hurricane Ike was the perfect storm for making babies.

It’s been eight months since Ike knocked out the region’s electricity, leaving many with no television, Internet access or other distractions for days, if not weeks. Now there’s a curious bump in the number of women who are rounding out their third trimesters of pregnancy.
Curious? Not really. Curious would be why CenterPoint and other power providers on the South Coast of the United States continue to use aerial power distribution in light of the fact that the whole coast is a hurricane magnet, but that's a rant for another day. Back to the baby story:
So what was happening at the Dimino home those two and a half days?

“What everybody else in Houston was doing,” said Dimino, 33, whose baby will be her first. “You can only do so much when there’s no television, nothing open and there’s nowhere to go.”
But of course. Which leads me to my new hurricane pickup line: "Hey baby. . . . nice storm damage. Wanna fuck?"



Eminent domain is a tricky thing, and you better have a compelling reason for seizing private property. I don't think this qualifies.
But now that the government intends to take their land by eminent domain so the Flight 93 memorial can be built by the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks, property owners say they're disappointed and surprised by the plan.
Do we really need the place the plane crashed in rural, Pennsylvania? Let the farmers keep their land, and let DC and NYC have the memorials.



Tube meat (not to be confused with a meat tube) scores again.
H-E-B is urging customers to return any ground beef items packed on Styrofoam trays and bought Sunday at the store located at Bellaire and Highway 6.
And yet, people still have a visceral reaction to meat in a tube. Wonder why?



Landed on my new favorite website today: Awkward Family Photos. Holy shit, this one is going to give me nightmares.



Sunday, May 10, 2009


The White House Correspondents Dinner. Wanda was pretty funny. Part One:



Part Two:



Here's the whole thing.



Every Mother's Day needs a Mother's Night!




Driver distraction causes wreck. No one can dispute that, so why only limit distractions with kids?
If House bills 339 and 662, by Rep. Larry Phillips, R-Sherman, and Solomon Ortiz Jr., D-Corpus Christi, become law, Texas teenagers won't be allow to drive while talking on a cell phone.

However, when it comes to banning the use of wireless phones while driving, that is as far as the Texas Legislature seems willing to go this session - just take the cell phones away from teenage drivers.

A series of bills that would prohibit anyone over 18 talking on a cell phone or texting while driving are apparently going nowhere this session.
Because Sprint, AT&T, Verizon and T-Mobile have deep pockets, but it's no less dangerous for adults.



Expect fire, brimstone, and the gates of hell to swallow Lubbock, Texas at any moment.
Proposition 1, which expands retail packaged liquor sales continued its 2-1 margin, with 65.4 percent of the vote. Proposition 2, which would allow liquor to be sold by the drink in restaurants, had 70.1 percent of the vote.

Those results were based on an 8:30 p.m. count, with about 43,300 of the nearly 51,000 ballots counted.
Enjoy your tax revenue from alcohol sales, hypocrites.



When water comes in your house, who do you blame? Let's start with the city.
Scores of homeowners — many whose homes flooded for the first time — blamed new development and the explosion in the city’s population for the failure of the city’s drainage system.

But the city said it drainage system didn’t fail. When that much rain falls that quickly on a flat coastal plain already soaked by a rain the night before, flooding is inevitable, Jack Murphy, city engineer, said.

The city’s infrastructure, designed to drain off 2 inches of rain per hour, was not capable of handing the amount of water falling from the sky, Murphy said.

“I tell you right now, the amount of water that fell in that hour and a half was of epic proportions,” Jim Nelson, a city council member, said. “No normal drainage system dictated by the state can handle that amount of water in that short of period of time. It’s just impossible.”
Impossible? Really? Making water flow downhill isn't "impossible." If the city wanted to improve drainage instead of promoting builders making more taxpayers, this wouldn't be a problem.
“Everything that has been done has been done right,” he said. “It might be another 100 years before we have a rainfall like that again.”
Really? It might be next week. Remember Allison?
In League City, Allison dropped 4.5 inches of rain in one hour and 9.5 inches of rain in 12 hours; the April 18 storm dumped 6.26 inches of rain in one hour and 9.92 inches of rain in one day.
That much rain is going to put damn near anything underwater, and I realize that not everything is the city's fault. But to immediately start patting yourself on the back and tell the flooded public what a great job the city's drainage system did is disingenuous at best.



Thursday, May 07, 2009


World Health Organization flu chief Keiji Fukuda, hit me with a slow pitch on the new relaxed stance on pig flu.
The World Health Organization said Thursday that up to 2 billion people could be infected by swine flu if the current outbreak turns into a pandemic. The agency said a pandemic typically lasts two years.

WHO flu chief Keiji Fukuda said the number wasn’t a prediction, but that experience with flu pandemics showed one-third of the world’s population gets infected.

“If we do move into a pandemic then our expectation is that we will see a large number of people infected worldwide,” Fukuda said. “If you look at past pandemics, it would be a reasonable estimate to say perhaps a third of the world’s population would get infected with this virus.”
Well that's just super. It was getting kinda crowded around here anyway.

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Voters in Lubbock are getting dangerously close to voting themselves up to the 20th century. This might get good.
When prohibition was lifted way back in 1933, Texas was a little slow to catch on.

It wasn't until two years later when the state finally repealed its own alcohol ban, and even then Texas allowed local governments to remain booze-free. While many areas to this day remain dry, on Saturday the biggest teetotaling town in Texas may be going wet.

Voters in Lubbock will decide whether beer, wine and liquor will be available in stores around this town of about 210,000.
But let's hear the solid, well thought out voice of the opposition:
Opponents say quality of life will suffer in neighborhoods near the stores, underage drinking will increase and the city over time will become seedy. Brant O'Hair, co-chairman of the group Truth About Alcohol Sales that opposes the measure, said he believes most liquor "package stores" will go in poorer neighborhoods.
Yeah, that's it. Beer stores are only in poor neighborhoods. Or as I like to call it, everywhere. Get used to booze, West Textards. Lubbock or leave it.



I love news from Happy, Texas. Sometimes it's just not that Happy there.
Happy State Bank officials filed a lawsuit recently against former tenant Bank of America, claiming the institution erroneously took an unknown amount of office equipment and artwork from Happy's new location in downtown Amarillo.

Happy bought the building at 701 S. Taylor St. in March 2008 for $2.7 million, along with a drive-up facility and parking areas. The location had been commonly referred to as the Bank of America building. The office space has since become the home for about 70 employees from Happy's Canyon operations center.
The "town without a frown" sounds a little sad these days.



Most people can only taste sweet and salt. Thus it's no surprise it's what makes people fat. Shocker! But guess what, Squirrel, wings aren't food. You can spread enough sugar, vinegar, salt and grease on the chicken's beaks and feet, too. That doesn't make them food.



Sunday, May 03, 2009


I get mail: Sometimes. Well, let me just say that three years ago, I bought some metal-art from a guy in central Texas. Turns out to be a helluva nice guy, and I just heard his response to this post late last week. I wouldn't post his email if I thought he'd care. So:
DOUG [sic] - THANKS FOR SAYING NICE THINGS ABOUT MY WORK- OUR BUSINESS IS GREAT AND MY WIFE WORKS FULL TIME WITH ME NOW - HANDPAINTING METAL ART - IT'S A WHOLE NEW ANGLE NOW- IT'S BADASS THANKS!

JIMMY DON
Jimmy Don's the real deal, folks, so, for the sake of my Google cache, let me say again, if you need any custom metal art, you cain't do no better than Jimmy Don Holmes at Stars Over Texas in Crawford, Texas.

Check him out!



So check this shit out. I've got an avocado growing in my back yard!



Who'd a thunk it? after all the arborcide, I've got a tree in the yard, making guacamole. Now, if only the beer cans I planted will start growing a beer tree, I'll be all set!




It's hard to imagine an America without Pontiac, but as evident with their vehicles, this should have happened about a decade ago.
So General Motors announced this past week that it is killing off the Pontiac brand, maker of muscular, noisy, gas-guzzling V-8-powered vehicles immortalized in song and movies for the way they seemed to shout to every other car on the block: "Out of the way, pipsqueak!"

[. . . ]

Sometime in the '80s, however, the love affair began to fade.

Car enthusiasts speculated this week whether it was changing tastes, the move toward more environmentally sensitive cars or perhaps Pontiac's inability to keep coming up with new signature muscle cars that was to blame.

Pontiac's more recent contributions to America's automotive efforts included the very uncool Aztek, a chunky vehicle that looked like an SUV that tried to squeeze under a low-clearance bridge.

Jim Mattison, whose Michigan-based Pontiac Historic Services provides information on the model to collectors, noted that for whatever reason the company hadn't produced anything to capture the public's imagination in a long time.

"In 1963, they came out with this wonderful car called the GTO, then the Firebird in 1967, and then that evolved into the Trans Am," Mattison said. "The momentum kept on building until more recent years."
Lots of things have changed since then. $4.00 a gallon gas and a shift in public perception of what a sports car is didn't help Pontiac's standing. But there's a reason there aren't any Studebakers around, either. You can't make a car people want to buy, get out of the way and let the people that know how to do it and make money doing it take the lead.



I'm shocked, SHOCKED to learn that pig flu isn't as bad as the fear-mongers would have you believe.
When the World Health Organization raised its swine flu threat level last week to suggest the first pandemic in more than four decades was imminent, the group’s director warned that “all of humanity is under threat.”

Across the country, it’s looked like that. School closings will keep more than 300,000 Texas students at home this week. Stores have sold out of masks that experts don’t recommend. Sports events and concerts have been canceled. Headlines have warned that “Outbreak Threatens Global Recovery.”

By the week’s end, an increasing number of experts were questioning whether it was overreaction.

“I don’t see anything to justify this panic,” said Robert Krug, a flu researcher at the University of Texas in Austin. “From all the evidence, this doesn’t look like a particularly lethal virus. People need a little more perspective.”
SARS, bird flu, now pig flu. Maybe global pandemics are something most people should keep in the back of their minds, but it's certainly NOT something the media, fueled by the CDC, needs to worry about on a daily basis. 35,000 Americans die, every year, from influenza. 400 infections and less than 50 deaths in Mexico doesn't strike me as a reason to cry the sky is falling.

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Saturday, May 02, 2009


Two of the most annoying things of the 21st century, why not combine them? Yep, you guessed it, iphones and pig flu.
Calling all iPhone owners anxious about the spread of swine flu: A potential app, the Swine Flu Tracker, may be on the way.

The Swine Flu Tracker, still pending approval from Apple, would be free. It was developed by IntuApps, whose founders, Barry Schwartz and Lilly Gold, say they want to keep people informed about the virus and where it is spreading.
That's just great. Is there any way it can give pig flu to obnoxious mactards with their iphones?

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Friday, May 01, 2009


How much rain have I had? So much that I have wayward turtles parking their RVs in my yard:



I was going to take him down to the creek so he didn't get run over, but when I came back home, he was gone (and not run over in the street). I guess he's OK. He looks surprisingly similar to a pinché tortuga I saw two years and 500 miles ago. I hope he's not stalking me.

If he eats mosquito larve, he's going to be the size Delaware in about a week.

Turtle Flu!!!




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