Posted 9/30/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Payback's a bitch ain't it? Poor Mark Foley.

Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) today resigned from Congress, putting his congressional seat up for grabs just 39 days before the election.

Foley has represented the 16th District since 1994 and has regularly been mentioned as a potential candidate for statewide office. He was a candidate for the U.S. Senate briefly in 2003 before dropping out, citing his desire to spend more time with his parents.

His abrupt decision to step down from his seat comes one day after ABC News reported the existence of e-mails sent by Foley last fall to a 16-year-old boy who formerly served as a congressional page. In the messages, Foley reportedly asked the boy what he wanted for his birthday and requested that the boy send a photo of himself to Foley. (The St. Petersburg Times caught up with the boy some time ago but waited to report on it until today.)

But it gets better:

ABC News reported Friday that Foley also engaged in a series of sexually explicit instant messages with current and former pages, all male. In one message, ABC said, Foley wrote to one page, "Do I make you a little horny?"

In another message, Foley wrote, "You in your boxers, too? ... Well, strip down and get relaxed."

Ha! Reminds me of the greatest political quote off all time from Edwin Edwards: "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy." Too bad Foley got caught. But at least he's not on record being judgmental about sexual indiscretions, right?

Republicans were aghast at Clinton's behavior, with many saying it showed he had lied and abused his power.

"It's vile," said Rep. Mark Foley, R-West Palm Beach. "It's more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction."

Wow, how ironic. At least Billy got his freak on with a chick. The worst thing they said about that was his taste for fat chicks. At least she was legal. And female.

Posted 9/30/2006 04:59:00 PM by Douglas

If it kills your dog just how healthy can it be?

Keep those sugarless treats out of Fido's reach. Veterinarians warned on Friday that a commonly used sweetener might cause liver failure in dogs, and perhaps even kill them.

Their report in the Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association appears to strengthen the suspected link between the sugar substitute xylitol, thought to make dogs sick, and possible liver failure.

Xylitol, a naturally occurring product, is found in many sugar-free chewing gums, candies, baked goods and toothpastes.

Yummy!

Posted 9/30/2006 04:56:00 PM by Douglas

There's a very small group of people that would think that this is a humorous application of Legos. Sadly, I'm one of them. (kinda NSFW, if you're offended by Lego characters in lewd poses)

Posted 9/30/2006 12:41:00 PM by Douglas

So, how's that thing in Iraq going? I guess since there were no WMDs, we can at least say that the world is a safer place for displacing Sadam, right? No?!?

The war in Iraq has become a “cause célèbre” for Islamic extremists, breeding deep resentment of the U.S. that probably will get worse before it gets better, federal intelligence analysts conclude in a report at odds with President Bush’s contention of a world growing safer.

Wow, no shit, really? Did they just now get CNN?

“If this trend continues, threats to U.S. interests at home and abroad will become more diverse, leading to increasing attacks worldwide,” the document says. “The confluence of shared purpose and dispersed actors will make it harder to find and undermine jihadist groups.”

Thanks, G'dumb.

Posted 9/30/2006 12:34:00 PM by Douglas

Hamlet's tragic flaw: Indecision, or a noble sense to do the right thing?

This tremendous play, a symphony of cross purposes, might have been written to illustrate Francis Bacon’s maxim that revenge is a kind of “wild justice.” If it punishes the guilty, it also claims the innocent. As Shakespeare says elsewhere, “Thou shalt have justice — more than thou desirest.” Or as Hamlet puts it almost flippantly, “Use every man after his desert, and who should ’scape whipping?”

Yep, that's revenge alright.

Posted 9/30/2006 12:30:00 PM by Douglas

Cos I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street.

A new state law intended to collect taxes on the full retail value of used vehicles sold in private-party exchanges takes effect Sunday.

The so-called "liar's affidavit" law requires that buyers pay sales tax on 80 percent or more of a used vehicle's retail value, regardless of the actual purchase price.

The law is meant to stop the two parties in a used-car deal from agreeing to lower the official sales price so the buyer pays less sales tax.

State officials say the law, which the Legislature passed this year, is expected to generate $35 million annually. Private transactions make up about one-third of the state's used-car sales.

Yay, government! Way to find a way to get $35 million more dollars from your citizens!

In the black and white world of tax law, sure it's illegal, but who hasn't low-balled the selling price when paying tax on a used car? I'm not saying it's right, but if my county is depending on my buying/selling a used car for its income, they're in sad, sad shape to begin with.

Taxman!
And you're working for no one but me!

Posted 9/30/2006 12:23:00 PM by Douglas

Coolest sunspot ever!

It looks like a speck of dust on the surface of the sun. But this spectacular picture shows the space shuttle Atlantis alongside the International Space Station (ISS) silhouetted as they orbit the earth.

The image was taken in Normandy by French astrophotographer Thierry Legault. He used a digital camera attached to a £5,000 specially kitted-out telescope.

Be sure and click on the picture to get the close up view.

Posted 9/28/2006 05:59:00 PM by Douglas

This would be so true if I didn't loathe Bud Light:

You Are Bud Light

You're not fussy when it comes to beer. If someone hands it to you, you'll drink it. In fact, you don't understand beer snobbery at all. It all tastes the same once you're drunk! You're an enthusiastic drinker, and you can often be found at your neighborhood bar. You're pretty good at holding your liquor too - you've had lots of experience.

Posted 9/28/2006 05:38:00 PM by Douglas

For some reason, I always knew Oregon had something in common with Paraguay (besides all the Socialists.) Check out their flags. Oregon, just like Paraguay, has a front and a back to their flags. And to Oregon, I say bravo. Sure, you complicated the printing/sewing of your state flag, but at least you tried to put something more interesting on the back than your stupid state seal and your state's name and year of induction into the United States. You settled on a beaver. Hey, I said you tried.

But just look at the rest of the state flags. What a yawn fest. Sure, not everyone can live in Texas, but seriously, I figure there are about twenty eight states that just slap their state seal/crest on a blue and/or white cloth and call it a flag. Hell, there are even eleven state flags that have to display their state's name on their flag! Why? Isn't a flag a symbol? Is there nothing to symbolize about Wisconsin without using the word "Wisconsin"? Not that I'm picking on Wisconsin, but come on. A flag is a flag, a seal is a seal, and "Welcome to Wisconsin" should be reserved for North-bound road signs on I-94.

Posted 9/25/2006 05:54:00 PM by Douglas

We've been at war in Iraq longer than we were involved with WWII and more Americans have died there than died in the World Trade Center, yet you'd be a fool a traitor to ask why.

Posted 9/25/2006 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

I will never, ever pay for HBO. Movies are much more easily obtained elsewhere and I find the people that won't shut up about HBO's "original" programming to be very annoying. If I'm a lesser person for missing out on the Sopranos, Ali G and Six Feet Under, then so be it. But there's something about this guy's take on Deadwood Pancakes that cracks me up.

Cocksucker.

Posted 9/25/2006 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

I'm tired of hearing about all the bullshit (literally) about the spinach contamination, but this tack really makes me ill.

The direct cause is spinach contaminated with cow manure that contains the virulent strain of E. coli. But the root causes of toxic spinach affair lie in a host of issues tragically familiar to anyone following the state of consumer and worker safeguards during the Bush administration: weak laws and regulations, budget cuts leading to fewer inspections and weaker enforcement, over-reliance on voluntary efforts instead of mandatory regulations, and industrial cattle raising.

'Cause we all know what the real cause of E. coli is. . . . lack of funding.

Who has the most to lose from this kind of national hysteria about a food product? A spinach farmer that's got a crop in the field that's going to have to pitch it all in the river because Katie Courick won't shut up about it. Sure it's sickening to think of all the people's lives that have been changed forever (or worse, ended) because of this event, but who is better equipped to fix it? Some moron in a white Ford Tarus with a USDA badge making $37K a year, or a spinach farmer who depends on selling bagged greens to hippies?

Yes it's a problem, and no, government is not the answer.

Posted 9/21/2006 05:58:00 PM by Douglas

I'm with the dog. The new Elmo doll needs to die.

Seriously, are kids that dumb? I can't imagine that thing not ending up in the fireplace after the third time. . .

Posted 9/21/2006 05:51:00 PM by Douglas

Yet another example why the red-light cameras are about money, and not about safety.

Hundreds of drivers who ran red lights while making turns at intersections newly monitored by cameras have not been issued tickets because of a loophole in the photo-enforcement ordinance.

"The way the current city ordinance is written, turns are excluded, even if they are illegal turns," said Houston police Sgt. Michael Muench.

I realize that the city will fix this loophole before the ink's dry on tomorrow's paper, but why the exclusion? It's obviously harder to make a case for someone 'rolling through' a right-turn on red situation, but the left turn? If you run that light, isn't that much more dangerous than running a red light? Why was that excluded? It can't be about the fines, can it?

Where is the public outcry for this surveillance? Are the sheeple of Houston really this fat, dumb and complacent? I'm afraid I already know the answer to that one.

Labels: red light cameras

Posted 9/21/2006 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

Your tax dollar at work, ensuring the safety of Los Alamos National Laboratory. What's the threat? Fissionable material, terrorists? No, stairs.

Joe Benavides, left, of the associate directorate for weapons engineering (ADWE) picks out a miniature candy bar from Miranda Martinez, center of the Human Resources Service Center (HR-SVSCTR) on Thursday afternoon at the Otowi Building. Benavides used the handrail while walking up the stairs and was rewarded with a candy bar. At right is Cyndi Archuleta of HR-SVSCTR, who spearheaded the safety initiative, one of several planned by HR.

Is there nothing else to do? Stairs: High Tech shit.

HR pasted a sticker on each piece of candy with the safety message "SOS: Safety on Stairs. HR Division thanks you for using the handrails." More than 400 pieces of candy were given to Lab employees who used the handrail properly.

Posted 9/20/2006 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

I saw this story on Saturday, but I'm just now getting to it. It's funny, and I can't describe why. There's literally nothing to do in the Panhandle.

Three people ran into Amarillo High School on Thursday afternoon and threw a cup of human feces into a classroom, police said Friday.

Sgt. Randy TenBrink of the Amarillo Police Department said three students, who are not juveniles, entered Amarillo High about 2:30 p.m.

"They had a cup of what was described as human fecal material and tossed it into the classroom and ran," TenBrink said.

I got nuthin' on this one. In true O.J. form, though, I hope to God they catch the real poo flingers.

Posted 9/20/2006 05:38:00 PM by Douglas

Time for some remedial math for the governor

Gov. Rick Perry announced today the award of a $7.5 million Texas Enterprise Fund grant to Lockheed Martin Corp., which is developing and building the successor to the space shuttle in Houston.

Perry said the grant was offered as an incentive for Lockheed Martin to keep the Orion Crew Exploration Vehicle project and the 1,000 jobs that come with it in Houston.

Does the governor think that people that know how to design, build, test, and analyze spacecraft are going to be found sitting at an out-of-state bus station, or are they already in Houston, working on, oh, I don't know, other spacecraft? This is not a win for Texas. If anything it's a loss for Texas aerospace workers.

Posted 9/19/2006 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

In space, the whole world can hear you ask quietly, What the fuck was that?"

NASA postponed the return of Atlantis for at least a day and examined the shuttle for damage that could prevent it from making the journey home after a mysterious object apparently fell off the ship in orbit Tuesday.

Space agency officials wanted extra time to establish whether the object was a vital piece of the shuttle — such as the tiles that protect it from the blowtorch heat of re-entry — and whether it harmed the spacecraft when it fell away.

Long day.

Posted 9/19/2006 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Arrrrr! It be that time again, already. This one snuck up on me, and I'm just not prepared this year. Maybe next yearrrrrrrr.

Posted 9/18/2006 05:00:00 PM by Douglas

I saw this guy's story on the news a few weeks ago and I've been looking for the outcome ever since. I like the way it turned out.

A critic of the city's red-light camera system Sunday intentionally ran a downtown red light to get caught on camera so he could challenge the new system in court — only to be ticketed by a Houston police officer instead.

That means he will face a criminal misdemeanor with a maximum $200 fine instead of the civil citation and $75 fine issued to violators caught on tape.

Well, good for him. Don't send a camera to do a man's job.

But seriously, I have a lot of respect for someone that's going to put their ass on the line to challenge stupid laws that affect us all. If this guy didn't already have adequate counsel, I'd throw him a few bucks for his legal fees.

But you gotta let the camera catch you first.

Labels: red light cameras

Posted 9/18/2006 10:46:00 AM by Douglas

Garrison Keillor once again nails it.

The way to stop terrorists on planes is to encourage passengers to bring loaded firearms aboard: guys in orange vests sitting in exit rows with deer rifles on their laps, ladies with Mr. Colt in their purses, kids with peashooters. Somebody wake up the NRA. Does the Second Amendment say ''The right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed except on commercial airliners''? Where is the right wing when you really need them?

Yeah, that's never going to happen, but it's fun to think about, isn't it? One long-time reader even suggested using handguns as boarding passes, making them mandatory for everyone on the flight. That might make the air-waitress a little more speedy to get me my peanuts.

It all began with the name Homeland Security. Somebody with a tin ear came up with that, maybe the pest exterminator from Texas, or Admiral Poinduster, because, friends, Americans don't refer to this as our homeland. It's an alien term, like Fatherland or Deutschland or Tomorrowland.

Irving Berlin didn't write ''God Bless Our Homeland.'' You never heard John Wayne say, ''Men, we're going over that hill and we're going to kick those krauts out of there. And we're going to raise the flag of the homeland.''

That's always bothered me, too, but then again, there was a time when political leaders show-boating in military uniforms was reserved for third-world dictators, too.

Garrison, bring it home:

It's all fine with me. I'm a liberal and we love ridiculous government programs that intrude on personal freedom. But where are the conservatives who used to object to this sort of thing?

Thank you. Can't I be a right-wing extremist and disapprove of what Bush is doing?

Posted 9/10/2006 05:27:00 PM by Douglas

We're seein' some ice in the Hi-load FES. Great video of launch of STS-115.

Posted 9/10/2006 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

So the new Star Wars DVDs come out this week, and by "new" I mean "old," and I have yet to decide if Hollywood's premier money whore is going to be getting any more of my hard earned entertainment dollars. I bought the VHS version of the trilogy (and yes, there is only one trilogy. The later movies are steaming piles of shit George used to build another couple of stories on his house) the last time it came out, but since I don't have a VCR anymore, I'm kinda sunk. I have absolutely no interest in the "remastered" versions of the trilogy, as I feel that that's part of the problem. I also find it hilarious that he's "included" the un-retouched versions of the films tacked on to the ruined versions. I wonder how the sales would compare if they sold them individually? I know which ones I want. And what version this guy wants. Geez, I thought I had a problem:

So no, I’ll not be buying this month’s reissued Star Wars movies. And I shall now go and thank my mother for giving away all my original toys to the goodwill store and apologise for treating her as a pariah all these years for saying “They were just toys.” Because that’s all they were – ancillary merchandise to allow you to build another wing on Skywalker Ranch to house your ever expanding ego. They weren’t symbols of my childhood dreams and hopes. They were plastic figures that should’ve been called “Ahahaha fuck you, pay me” toys.

Netflix and a DVD burner, dude, is all you need.

Posted 9/09/2006 05:38:00 PM by Douglas

FINALLY!

Posted 9/07/2006 05:27:00 PM by Douglas

Not me.

The intersection of Bay Area Boulevard and El Camino Real in Clear Lake has recorded more red-light violations than any other location the city has monitored by camera for the past week, police said Thursday

Something I thought was needless to say previously, I'm not advocating running red lights. I'm simply saying that it's not the government's job to make money. And that's all this is about.

Labels: red light cameras

Posted 9/06/2006 05:52:00 PM by Douglas

Remember, all you fucking idiots, it's not about money, it's about safety.

Houston's new red-light camera system could bring in far more revenue than the city projects.

Police estimate about a quarter of violators who are issued tickets will pay the $75 civil fine. But in several other cities that use the same camera system, fine collection is as high as 90 percent.

While the city's revenue estimate for the program once it's in full swing is about $6.7 million a year, a collection rate of 90 percent would bring in more than triple that amount — about $24 million.

Catch that? How many lives is this going to save? How many accidents is this going to prevent? Hmm, a statistic that's greedily absent from this story. Why is that? Mayor White, how 'bout some pandering?

Mayor Bill White and Police Chief Harold Hurtt have touted the system as a way to make streets safer by reducing the number of crashes at intersections as drivers change their behavior in response to the cameras.

Here we go. Safer, fewer crashes, blah blah blah $24 Million dollars of pure profit for the city. That's a hard sell, even for a lying politician. Now for the part that really pisses me off:

The system is designed to pay for itself; the city has agreed to pay the contractor about $2.5 million annually.

I think the Hurtt Prize should be extended to include Mayor White.

Labels: red light cameras

Posted 9/06/2006 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

Thrust-vectoring at its absolute coolest. Why is that plane flying backwards?

Posted 9/06/2006 05:39:00 PM by Douglas

Just in time for the midterm elections, BushCo brings us the Federal Government's latest hack at outsourcing:

President Bush on Wednesday acknowledged previously secret CIA prisons around the world and said 14 high-value terrorism suspects — including the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks — have been transferred from the system to Guantanamo Bay for trials.

He said a small number of detainees have been kept in CIA custody including people responsible for the bombing of the USS Cole in 2000 in Yemen and the 1998 attacks on U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, in addition to the 2001 attacks.

Remember the good ole days when we'd capture, illegally imprison and torture Soviet spies and not even feel the need to make apologies for it? Me neither, but something about this makes me sick. If we need to do this, why the secrecy? But here's the clincher:

Aides said the legislation being introduced on Bush’s behalf later Wednesday on Capitol Hill insists on provisions covering military tribunals that would permit evidence to be withheld from a defendant if necessary to protect classified information.

Folks, this is offensive to kangaroo courts everywhere. Prosecuting people in "court" without making evidence against the defendant available to them? Shit, I could successfully litigate that case: "You're guilty for reasons I can't describe. Any questions? NEXT!"

And I thought this was America. Look, it's bad enough that these people are largely imprisoned for no reason, and even worse that over 100,000 are dead in Afghanistan and Iraq that had nothing to do with 9/11. But this sham trial doesn't validate our system of government over theirs. It destroys it.

Posted 9/06/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

Again?!?

An electrical problem forced NASA to postpone Wednesday's liftoff of the space shuttle Atlantis yet again, and engineers faced with a tight launch schedule struggled to understand the problem.

About 11 hours before the scheduled midday launch, engineers discovered that a coolant pump that chills one of the shuttle's three electricity-generating fuel cells was giving an erratic reading. NASA rules say all three fuel cells must be working to launch, and if one fails in orbit, the shuttle must come home promptly.

NASA officials met for hours during the afternoon to figure out whether they could fix the problem, whether they could safely ignore it, or whether they would have to put the flight on hold for perhaps weeks.

Hmmm. . . Ignoring the problem? Hasn't worked out well for NASA in the past. Go fever is bad, but sometimes not going is worse. Who can tell?

"It was really one of those 50-50 decisions," said Wayne Hale, space shuttle program manager. "If you want high drama, this is about as good as it gets."

NASA officials wanted more time to analyze the coolant pump that chills one of the shuttle's three electricity-generating fuel cells since "there's something funny going on in that fuel cell," Hale said.

That's what the American people want to hear, Wayne. A 200,000 pound spacecraft is going to be hurled to the heavens on tons of explosives with a 50-50 chance its fuel cells have cooling. What's the worst that could happen? At least we've got some experts that know what they're doing, right? RIGHT?!?

The problem, located in a tiny car-like starter motor built in 1976, could be the wiring or something more. Complicating everything is the fact that NASA does not really know the inner workings of the system.

"The vendor sold us the thing and didn't exactly tell us how it works, amazing as that might be," Hale said.

Holy cow. The most complicated machine ever built has a starter motor from a '76 Vega providing cooling for its three essential fuel cells, and no one at NASA knows how it works? First off, bullshit. Secondly, ouch.

Posted 9/06/2006 05:09:00 PM by Douglas

Launch it!

Posted 9/04/2006 04:39:00 PM by Douglas

Having taunted his last animal, Steve Irwin is finally dead, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

STEVE Irwin rose in a cloud of blood -- the cameras still rolling -- before his crew realised he had been fatally speared through the heart by the barb of a stingray.

The Australian television star, 44, yesterday died of cardiac arrest after being stabbed off Port Douglas about 11am.

Ok, I guess I'm a little surprised: Surprised it took this long.

Posted 9/03/2006 04:41:00 PM by Douglas

This video, aired probably one time on MTV back in 1982 has become the stuff of legend in my family. Granted, I came from a pretty weird family, but still, 24 years later, it's still hillarious..


Thank you, youtube, for validating my childhood!