Posted 12/29/2007 06:18:00 PM by Douglas

Since you won't give me this string, I must shoot you down with my laser eyes:

But I must hurry, as I'm about to be eaten by a panther!

Posted 12/29/2007 06:14:00 AM by Douglas

I don't know, I kinda like bromance.

Posted 12/27/2007 08:42:00 PM by Douglas

Most of you know I'm as fond of pointless milestones as the next guy, but over my Christmas hiatus, the crap blog topped out at over 50,000 hits. I don't know what that means or if it's worth noting but I find it interesting for the simple fact that it's about ten times more people that lived in the county where I grew up. So anyway, here is a picture of a turtle I took this week:

We thought he was dead when we found him sitting in 40º water, but he was just hungry.

Labels: pointless milestone

Posted 12/27/2007 05:24:00 PM by Douglas

Paul bashing, War Street Journal style:

Rep. Ron Paul, by far the most popular sideshow act in the 2008 presidential circus, is supposedly a libertarian. He even ran for president as the Libertarian Party nominee 20 years ago. But is he really a libertarian?

A libertarian, we thought, is someone who favors liberty, sometimes taking extreme positions toward that end. As the old joke goes, if you want to find out if someone's really a libertarian, ask him: Do you think children should be allowed to buy heroin from vending machines? A real libertarian will answer: Only if the vending machines are privately owned.

What a crock. First off, this how did the status quo become so dependent on the Government for all our services that any questioning of state power automatically brands you as a kook?

Secondly, the joke of the vending machine is totally lost on me, in that just like vending machines, so called "illegal" drugs are everywhere and are as easy to get as a diet Dr. Pepper, but unlike a vending machine, a drug dealer will always take your dollar.

Labels: Ron Paul

Posted 12/27/2007 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

Tiger Roundup: Let's start in San Francisco.

The two survivors mauled by a Siberian tiger in a San Francisco Zoo were in stable condition this afternoon and looking "fantastic" as investigators continued trying to determine how the 300-pound cat escaped from its enclosure.

The victims - ages 19 and 23 - were clawed and bitten by the female tiger after she killed another visitor Christmas Day.

Reason 748 why zoos are horribly depressing and people should never support them. Then there's this:

A veterinarian at the Dallas Zoo performed a necropsy Thursday on a female tiger found shot to death near an apartment complex, a zoo official said.

The tiger did not belong to the zoo and was believed to have been someone's pet. It was found Christmas Day in a vacant lot near a busy interstate and an apartment complex, said zoo spokeswoman Susan Eckert.

The tiger had all its teeth. Zoo officials said they believe it was someone's pet because it was declawed and had a collar around its neck. It also had a leash that appeared to be a bicycle chain, Eckert said.

What a bunch of sick-os. What part of "wild" in "wild animal" do people find so hard to understand?

Posted 12/21/2007 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like the Lakota are going to succeed from the United States, and not a century too soon.

THE Lakota Indians, who gave the world legendary warriors Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse, have withdrawn from treaties with the US.

"We are no longer citizens of the United States of America and all those who live in the five-state area that encompasses our country are free to join us,'' long-time Indian rights activist Russell Means said.

A delegation of Lakota leaders delivered a message to the State Department and said they were unilaterally withdrawing from treaties they signed with the Federal Government, some of them more than 150 years old.

The group also visited the Bolivian, Chilean, South African and Venezuelan embassies, and said they would continue on their diplomatic mission and take it overseas.

Seems like I remember a time a few years ago when some other folks tried this and it didn't turn out too good.

Posted 12/20/2007 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

Hillary commercial, or anti-Hillary commercial making fun of the socialist nightmare she wants to establish? You be the judge:


Holy crap, is she for real? All those things are fucking gifts from her?!? And if not form her, then from the government? What's up with you fucking fuck-tards! A present from the government is one bought with your own fucking money. This time, the bill won't come due until your children can't afford to pay it.

Posted 12/19/2007 05:56:00 PM by Douglas

You might think that Texas law would require the minimum sentence issued to a person convicted of murder would include at least some prison time, but you'd be wrong

Traci Rhode spent two days in jail and will pay $10,000 for the crime of murder.

The jury that convicted the Fort Madison, Iowa, native of killing her husband in their Brownsville home four years ago also set her free Thursday, to the delight of her lawyer and the dismay of local prosecutors.

“I am ecstatic with the jury’s assessment of probation,” said her lawyer, Ernesto Gamez.

“It literally legitimizes and justifies their verdict because deep down inside they had a very tough decision to make.”

It took jurors two days to deliver their guilty verdict and another three days to sentence Rhode to 10 years supervised release. Judge Ben Euresti tacked on a $10,000 fine to her punishment and she was released from the Carrizalez-Rucker Detention Center within a few hours.

“(They waited) for two days before they came out with their guilty verdict because they were not sure,” Gamez suspects and called his client’s detention during deliberation “cruel and unusual.”

“Can you imagine the shock of being locked-up for two days in a 4-by-8 (foot cell) with cement walls in isolation? What a culture shock,” he said.

Can you imagine getting shot in the head by your own wife? Yeah, neither can her husband, cause he's dead. She killed. So said a jury of 12 of her peers.

She has maintained her innocence throughout the trial, claiming Scott Rhode shot himself in their bedroom while she showered after a morning walk.

The prosecutors counter that Traci awoke at about 5 a.m. on Oct. 15, 2003, and shot her husband with a .45-caliber handgun while he slept.

I doubt Brownsville is all CSI and shit, but they can't tell if the gunshot was self inflicted or not?

And a $10,000 fine? Shit, I figured a hit man would cost more than that. If that's all a wife gets these days, it's going to be open season on husbands around here.

Posted 12/19/2007 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Four Iraanian teenagers charged with beating a dear to death. Probably not where you think:

IRAAN, Texas — Four high school students in this small West Texas town have been accused in the beating deaths of two deer trapped on a baseball field on campus, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department says.

An investigation into the deaths began after the deer were found dead on the baseball field on Dec. 7.

Each student — three juniors and one sophomore at Iraan High School whose ages range from 15 to 17 — was cited Friday on a charge of hunting deer with illegal means and hunting deer in closed season, said Capt. Scott Davis of Texas Parks and Wildlife. He said that the closed-season charge was filed because the incident allegedly happened at night, when hunting is not allowed.

What the hell is wrong with these future serial killers? I know there's nothing to do in a small West Texas cow-town, but not even I got this bored, and I did some stupid shit. The clincher:

"We're very surprised that these kids would do something like this," Allen said. "These are good kids."

I'm sure they are. Just misunderstood. Sadistic fuckers.

Posted 12/19/2007 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Your lap-dance is about to go up five bones.

A judge denied a request from the owners of nude entertainment clubs for a temporary injunction Tuesday to block Texas' upcoming $5 strip club fee as an unfair tax and a violation of free speech rights.

Their attorneys had argued the fee should be blocked from taking effect in 2008.

Judge Scott Jenkins heard legal arguments and testimony throughout the afternoon before issuing his ruling.

State attorneys said the $5 per customer surcharge will be fairly imposed and won't violate the club's First Amendment rights.

Violation of free speech? Ok, that's a stretch, but still, pretty stupid tax if you asked me. But I'm not a big fan of "the man" telling me how to live my life.

Labels: houston titties

Posted 12/18/2007 04:53:00 PM by Douglas

Things to do in Russia when you're bored. I particularly like the 'functional' chainsaw.

Posted 12/15/2007 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

I saw this article a few weeks ago and thought it was kinda funny, but more likely a snooty French chick with a axe to grind about British women, but it had its moments.

I don’t want to be unfair. Many British women are great beauties. Charlotte Rampling, Kristin Scott Thomas and Jane Birkin, for instance, although of course they live in France. But there may be a grain of truth in the old French joke: what do you call a beautiful woman in London? Answer: a tourist.

Big faces, pear-shaped torsos with heavy low-slung bosoms . . . one could be cruel about the English physique. But to my practised eye there is nothing wrong with the raw material; it’s just that they don’t know how to showcase their charms.

Then there's this snarky piece, comparing British women to American:

“What the hell happened to all the beautiful girls I knew?” My first assumption was that one half of them had eaten the other half and washed them down with a crate of lager. These girls looked phenomenal when looking good took no effort. But when British women get to the age where they have to make an effort, they appear unable, or uninterested, in rising to the challenge.

Ouch!

At dinner, I found myself sitting opposite something that surely would have been happier hunting for truffles in the forests of France or grazing on the grassy marshlands of Canada. My friend’s wife had told me that Sophie still had the body of a 20-year-old. Maybe she did . . . dismembered in her freezer at home. She certainly didn’t have it on her skeleton.

[...]

I sat there watching Sophie tuck into a second huge plate of shepherd’s pie and realised why no self-respecting American girl consumes carbohydrates after 2pm.

That's pretty damn funny.

Ultimately, English women are like men doing DIY. No matter how lost they are, they refuse to call in professional help. It’s utterly irrational. A beautiful English ex-girl-friend of mine was, at the age of 29, as uncomfortable operating an eyelash curler as I’d be operating a crane. She approached beauty salons the way men approach buying porn – with darting glances and prayers of “Dear God, I hope no one sees me”. For some reason, being seen to make an effort with one’s appearance is regarded as shameful among British women.

Friggin hilarious, and uh, spot on? And it goes on like that. Here's the clincher:

American women also take themselves too seriously and are annoyingly confronta-tional. The good news for men, by the way, is they are convinced that the best way to prove they are equal to a man is by sleeping with him. Um . . . Go ahead, that’ll teach me. And they won’t even ruin your night’s sleep by staying over as their personal trainer is coming to their place at 6.30 the next morning.

Yeah, that's it!

Posted 12/15/2007 04:41:00 PM by Douglas

When I worked (briefly) in a large retail center, selling extended warranties was a huge deal. A cashier could easily make a week's pay in bonuses if they sold the most that month. I didn't get it at the time, but now I realize what the incentive is to push these things: It's basically free money for the store. But I'm not a big fan of insurance, anyway:

But you are still best advised to buy insurance only when a) the potential loss is very large, or b) your wife insists.

What I find hilarious is when I'm in a store famous for selling discount tools (cheep Chinese imports) and they push the warranties there. Yeah, I'm spending $19 on a drill, I want to drop another $5 so I can get another one in two years after the motor burns out. What's even better is when the clerk is trying to explain the process to someone that knows less than 15 words of English.

Posted 12/15/2007 04:33:00 PM by Douglas

Ha! It's funny 'cause it's true. I don't know who thinks that duck-bill lip thing is attractive, but it's kinda creepy.

Posted 12/15/2007 04:31:00 PM by Douglas

Zero tolerance = zero sense:

An elementary student in Marion County was arrested Thursday after school officials found her cutting food during lunch with a knife that she brought from home, police said.

The 10-year-old girl, a student at Sunrise Elementary School in Ocala, was charged possession of a weapon on school property, which is a felony.

According to authorities, school employees spotted the girl cutting her food while she was eating lunch and took the steak knife from her.

Students told officials that the girl did not threaten anyone with the knife.

The girl was arrested and transported to the Juvenile Assessment Center.

Does this sound like a good idea to anyone?

Posted 12/13/2007 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

As my momma would say, "put on your big-girl panties and grow up."

That’s Diana West’s argument: Fork over your applesauce for the meat and potatoes of adult thought, behavior, and responsibility, though they may be harder to digest. “Once upon a time,” she writes, “childhood was a phase, adolescence did not exist, and adulthood was the fulfillment of youth’s promise. No more. Why not?” She indicts the music industry, the laissez-faire or even actively deleterious parenting style of the Baby Boomers, and the fact that the young are now regarded as sophisticated when they are merely knowing. She blames multiculturalism and political correctness. She complains about misnomers like “adult bookstore” and “mature audience.” And, as William Grimes wrote in The New York Times (I thought he was joking), she even tackles “declining standards of shame among Rotary Club members.”

Sadly, I don't think we as a culture are going to grow up anytime soon. Hell, they gave that smokin' turd of juvenilia worship American Beauty five freakin' oscars. 'Cause it was so, ya know, liberating, I suppose.

Posted 12/13/2007 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

We're not fat because of fast-food, fast-food is around because we're fat.

Fast food makes such a savory scapegoat for our perpetual girth control failures that it’s easy to forget we eat less than 20 percent of our meals at the Golden Arches and its ilk. It’s also easy to forget that before America fell in love with cheap, convenient, standardized junk food, it loved cheap, convenient, independently deep-fried junk food.

He goes on to make some other pretty outrageous claims, but the bottom line is this: You could serve billion and billions stalks of broccoli, just like McDonald's does to hamburgers, if anyone wanted one.

Fast food is ubiquitous, cheap, and if not delicious, at least it's consistent.

Posted 12/13/2007 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

This SNL sketch cracks me up, and yes, I know it's stupid.



You killed Freckles!!!!

Posted 12/10/2007 05:57:00 PM by Douglas

What to hear every TV theme song ever mad? Sure you do. Don't click on this link if you have a life, or a job.

Posted 12/10/2007 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

While in a government facility the other day I caught one of these moveon.org commercials that kinda made me want to throw up a little bit. First off, the mac vs. pc thing is as obnoxious as it is tired, but the pro vs. con thing is a little misleading. The anti-conservative movement is confusing genuine conservatism with the neocon cabal that's been running the country into the ground for the past seven years. But I find this one particular disturbing. If liberals, er, uh, progressives, think that this is the nail they want to hammer in, they're in bigger trouble than they think.

Is it government's job to protect us from corporate abuse, environmental pollution, and to provide the myriad of services we require? Anyone that's read more than two lines here at this site knows I believe this is utter bullshit, but if you have any doubts about their effectiveness, take a look around at the services the government already provides. Folks, the government can't effectively pave fucking roads, and you want them to provide health care? Give me a freakin' break.

For more information about how great the government provides services, may I suggest a visit to your local post office and/or driver's license office. See if you get out of either of those locations in less than half an hour. Now imagine that you're bleeding.

At my local post office today, I almost walked in the door, but the line was spilling over outside, so I kinda hung around for a bit. When I finally got inside, the one clerk working the counter shouted towards the back for some more help, to be answered by a plaintive cry from the back that said "it's our mandatory break." Think UPS or DHL would give a customer that kind of shit?

Posted 12/08/2007 03:45:00 PM by Douglas

The History of LOL Cats


via

Posted 12/08/2007 03:28:00 PM by Douglas

I'm really getting tired of ranting about the smoking ban, but just when you think it couldn't get any dumber, they pull some of this shit.

The Texas Lottery Commission is considering a ban on selling tickets in stores that allow smoking after a recent attorney general's opinion suggested the practice could leave the state vulnerable to civil rights lawsuits.

Anti-smoking and civil rights advocates urged the commission at a meeting Wednesday to re-evaluate how it licenses vendors and to not allow smoking where tickets are sold.

They are concerned that secondhand smoke prevents people with disabilities or illnesses related to smoke from buying tickets at some locations.

The issue has been smoldering since 2006 when Billy Williams, 77, of Lewisville, complained to lottery officials that he suffered an asthma attack after buying a lottery ticket at a store in Whitney that allowed smoking.

With deference to Mr. Williams' asthma, go somewhere else. Lottery tickets are sold every 25 feet in every Texas town I've ever been to, and can't find one place that caters to his needs? If this is a big problem in Whitney, then stores that allow smoking will soon be out of business, while the few non-smoking stores will have a line around the corner for idiots to line up and lose their money at the stupidest form of gambling known to man.

Also, this is empirical proof that the State makes more money off the lottery than they do off cigarette tax.

Posted 12/08/2007 03:19:00 PM by Douglas

I wonder if alcohol was involved in this one?

A jury has sentenced a Port Arthur man to life in prison for fatally shooting a clubgoer who had accidentally stepped on his shoes.

Richard Trahan, 30, was convicted of killing 39-year-old Todd Hall outside a Port Arthur nightclub in May 2005.

I wonder if he got life because it was so durn stupid? Then there's this:

"You don't have to ask yourself what kind of person Mr. Trahan is," prosecutor John Nelson told jurors. "You already know he's the kind of gutless person who shoots somebody in the back two times because they stepped on his shoes."

What? shooting someone in the back is gutless? Then why do so many people think Joe Horn is a hero?

Posted 12/08/2007 02:50:00 PM by Douglas

We all know smoking kills, and being in the proximity of a single cigarette one time in your life will probably kill you instantly. OK, we get it. But now there's another form of smoking that's slowing killing all of us, and you probably don't even know it. Of course, I'm talking about your fireplace.

One big source of air pollution -- as deadly as vehicle exhaust, and with many of the same toxicants as cigarette smoke -- is wood smoke.

Let's not blow things out of proportion here. Things that are deadly: Scorpions, cruise missiles, Ted Kennedy's car and Joe Hall. I don't think wood smoke comes anywhere close to the 'deadly' category. Continue:

Minnesota's antismoking ordinance allows people to go to bars and restaurants and avoid smoke, because tobacco smoke is a proven killer. Yet because we still allow recreational wood burning in the city, where homes are close together on small lots, it has become a serious livability problem. All citizens are forced to breathe outdoor air that smells of smoke in many neighborhoods, night and day, in all seasons.

This is exactly the reason I don't like the use of hyperbolic examples when trying to diffused idiots making absurd claims. For example, when people want to ban smoking everywhere, you could say, "well what about your fireplace? It puts out smoke we all have to breathe." These idiots don't hear that and think, "hmm, that's true, my position is completely untenable. They hear that and think "hmm, that's another brilliant idea!"

But let's get down to the root cause. Why do we like our fireplace?

Why, then, do people continue to burn? First, because they don't know how harmful it is. Second, because it is strongly promoted by the hearth and home industry. And third, because burning wood is an addiction.

Yep, she pretty much nailed it. How many times have I seen people breaking into the firewood store downtown to get their 'fix' of some Bolivian hard-wood to stoke their fireplace. But the real problem? The fireplace industry. How long are we going to coddle the "big hearth" corporation that are feeding our addiction, killing our citizens, destroying the planet and turning out children into wood-junkies?

I have one question for Julie Mellum: Do you listen to yourself when you write this? Lighten the hell up.

Apparently the San Francisco bay area is considering a similar ban, and here's an equally incoherent article in the con column:

Banning fires would hurt the elderly who live on fixed incomes and the poor in general. It would be an added tax on the rest of us and increase dependence on petroleum.

Ah, the fixed income argument. Hey, guess who else has a 'fixed' income? EVERYONE!

Posted 12/08/2007 02:26:00 PM by Douglas

Remember the good old days when you shot someone in the back was automatically recognized as a cowardly act? Well not anymore.

The two burglary suspects killed by Pasadena homeowner Joe Horn were shot in the back after they ventured into his front yard, police disclosed Friday.

In another twist, investigators revealed that a plainclothes Pasadena detective witnessed the Nov. 14 shootings after he pulled up in an unmarked car seconds before Horn fired three shots from his 12-gauge shotgun.

The men, who had just burglarized Horn's neighbor's house, faced him from seven to 10 feet away when they ignored his order to "not move"or they would be dead, police said.

This is going to go on for a long, long time, but one thing is certain: Mr. Horn will be the focus for several special interest groups for the rest of his life. The gun nuts will love him as much as the gun grabbers will use him as an example why people shouldn't own guns. And since his victims were illegal immigrants, both sides of that debate will also use him as a perfect example of why we need more enforcement/acceptance of immigrants.

Depending on the jury (assuming it goes to trial) he could get the chair, or get a medal.

Labels: Joe Horn

Posted 12/07/2007 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Hurricane season, 2007 has been over for a week now, so how about a totally pointless prediction about next year?

Hurricane forecaster William Gray called Friday for seven Atlantic hurricanes, three of them major, during the 2008 season.

The preliminary forecast calls for a total of 13 named storms in the Atlantic. It also says it is probable that at least one major hurricane will hit the U.S. coastline.

"Despite fairly inactive 2006 and 2007 hurricane seasons, we believe that the Atlantic basin is still in an active hurricane cycle," Gray said. "This active cycle is expected to continue at least for another decade or two."

Well of course it is. Don't let the last two years fool ya when you've been totally wrong and even exaggerated your bullshit fearmongering. You've got your own budget to justify, you freakin' leaches. I hope you get a kick-back from all the wind insurance I pay out the ass for.

Labels: hurricanes 2008

Posted 12/07/2007 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

Rap lyrics, as defined by excel. I don't get most of these, but some of them are pretty clever. Thanks, Tuey!

Posted 12/07/2007 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Load "Commodore64sRock",8,1

Like a first love or a first car, a first computer can hold a special place in people's hearts. For millions of kids who grew up in the 1980s, that first computer was the Commodore 64. Twenty-five years later, that first brush with computer addiction is as strong as ever.

"It may have not been the most sophisticated computer, but it did have a lot of personality and it was lovable and remains loveable," said Harry McCracken, vice president and editor in chief of PC World.

Often overshadowed by the Apple II and Atari 800, the Commodore 64 rose to great heights in the 1980s. From 1982-1993, 17 million C64s were sold. The Guinness Book of World Records lists the Commodore 64 as the best-selling single computer model.

That 64K of power turned me into the dork that I am today. And if nothing else, it taught me that 20 years earlier, my father had programmed a 64K computer that filled a room. I only know that because he told me that story about 64,000 times.

Posted 12/05/2007 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Got a worthless cat at home not doing a damn thing during the day when you're at work? Put that lazy pussy to work at a Japanese cat brothel.

The 14 felines-in-residence at Tokyo's Cat Cafe Calico excel at their job of making customers purr with delight.

Calico is one of at least three cafes that have opened up in Tokyo this year where visitors can mingle with cats as they enjoy a cup of tea.

I'm sure the government regulations are cost prohibitive. Plus I really don't want to go around shaking down all my bitches for all my money. Not some, not half, but all my cash!

Posted 12/05/2007 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

Man, I wish the government would determine my mortgage rate was too high.

The Bush administration has hammered out an agreement with industry to freeze interest rates for certain subprime mortgages for five years in an effort to combat a soaring tide of foreclosures, congressional aides said Wednesday.

Another person familiar with the matter said the rate-freeze plan would apply to borrowers with loans made at the start of 2005 through July 30 of this year with rates that are scheduled to rise between Jan. 1, 2008, and July 31, 2010.

So the fuck what?!? These legally binding contracts were made between two (or more) willing participants. The borrower accepted the teaser rate, and the lender had to have accepted the risk of them not being able to pay it back, just like every lender has done on every loan since the dawn of fucking time. Why change the rules now?

So what's the trick? How many payments do I have to miss before they lower my rate to keep me from defaulting?

Posted 12/05/2007 05:09:00 PM by Douglas

NASA's going to give the Hubble one last shot in the arm next summer.

Next August, after 20 years of hype, disappointment, blunders, triumphs and peerless glittering vistas of space and time, and four years after NASA decided to leave the Hubble Space Telescope to die in orbit, setting off public and Congressional outrage, a group of astronauts will ride to the telescope aboard the space shuttle Atlantis with wrenches in hand.

But not just any kind of construction mission. I can't imagine even trying something like this:

One of the bigger challenges of the mission will be surgery on the Space Telescope Imaging Spectrograph, which can take pictures of things and break down their light to analyze their composition. The spectrograph had an electrical failure in 2004. To get inside the spectrograph, 111 screws that were never meant to be removed in space have to be unscrewed and kept from floating off. The plan is to clamp a plate over them beforehand and unscrew them through tiny holes.

Ever dropped a screw when you're working on something in your driveway? Imagine 111 of them, in zero-G, while wearing 2 sets of gloves and a diaper.

Posted 12/03/2007 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

I realized today that I hadn't been to a movie since last summer, and since I blogged about the great one I saw yesterday, I thought I should fess up about the crappy one I saw on Saturday.

For reasons even I don't fully understand, I thought that Awake had an premise interesting enough to justify the super-low $13.50 matinee price. Sweet sassy-molassay, was I wrong.

First off, the premise of actually being conscious while under general anesthesia is about 5% of whole movie. The rest is screaming, Jessica Alba's lips and chin mole, and a contrived story line with numerous plot twists, each one more boring and predictable than the last. Half way through the movie I expected to see the actors lean into the camera frame and say "did you catch that?" when something finally happened that might end up being consequential. But that's not enough. After these critical scenes were revealed, the original scene was shown again, in flashback, to make sure to wack your dumb ass over the head with it, like a wet towel full of fish.

But if the story and how it's repeatedly told wasn't bad enough, there's the two lead actors, Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba. Poor Mr. Christensen. I thought when he played the young Darth Vader in Episodes 2 & 3, he was supposed to be that bad. Apparently, his acting skills range all the way from tantrum to silent. If he's not screaming, he's really not any more noticeable than the background footage. But his screaming is so annoying, you come to appreciate the parts when he actually shuts up and hides under the bridge.

Then there's Jessica Alba. I know I'm one of the four heterosexual males on the planet that doesn't melt when they see that trollop on every men's magazine on the planet, but she just doesn't do it for me. She just looks a bit weird, like what would happen to a Mr. Potato Head that you left in the microwave too long. Almost a third of the movie was spent zoomed in her face while she read her lines with all the emotion of a Speak-N-Spell with a low 9-volt. So if you ever get bored looking at her, you're going to get really bored.

So I guess in another year and a half, I'll be ready to go back to the movie theater.

Parking was ample.

Posted 12/02/2007 05:54:00 PM by Douglas

Finally made it out to see No Country for Old Men today, and I must say, I was quite impressed. Even though it had a much higher body count than the Coen Brother's last murder fest, Miller's Crossing, it's still an excellent flick. I can't imagine that it's not going to be visited by Oscar next spring by whatever A- level celebrity/lesbian they get to host the ceremony. Either way, I think San Saba native Tommy Lee Jones did a fantastic job. Tomorrow night I'm going to lighten up my Coen Brother's film fest with some Intolerable Cruelty action, or maybe some Hudsucker Proxy. You know, for kids!

Posted 12/01/2007 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

You don't become the 369th richest person on the planet by accident, but I wish he'd do it with his $3 Billion dollars instead of whining for handouts.

Boone Pickens wants some help building his wind farm, and he's asking taxpayers to provide it.

The Gray County Commissioners Court approved a reinvestment zone Friday to cover the northern one third of the county.

"It's not just for Mesa Power," said County Judge Richard Peet.

But Mesa has asked four other counties to do the same thing. The company has also asked for tax abatements for the sizeable wind farm it wants to build.

At 4,000 megawatts, it would be the world's largest. That would be five times the size of Horse Hollow, a 735-megawatt installation near Abilene that currently is the largest.

Forget for a moment that there's a sizeable opposition to these things because they say they won't work. Is there a bigger condemnation against these wind farms? Why the hell would they need tax-breaks? If they made money, or more to the point, electricity, they wouldn't need government subsidies. But they can't.

Let's just call it what it is. Another discount in the Pickens land-grab.

Posted 12/01/2007 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

Remember back in aught four, after the Bush administration gave up on that whole WMD line, when they pursued the whole, "Saddam did bad things to his people in the name of the law" bullshit? I know that was four three years ago and all, but why don't those same people put that same logic to this case. After all, they have more oil.

In the case of the Girl of Qatif, the woman — a member of the kingdom's Shiite minority — was attacked in 2006 when she met a high school friend in his car to retrieve a picture of herself from him, since she had recently married. Two men got into the vehicle and drove them to a secluded area where five others waited, and then the woman — 19 at the time — and her companion were both raped, she has said.

In October last year, she was sentenced to prison and 90 lashes for being alone with a man not related to her — a violation of the kingdom's strict segregation of the sexes. The seven rapists were also convicted.

90 lashes for getting raped. Sounds like local law laughing in the face of basic human rights. Why aren't we invading? Oh yeah, there's this: