Posted 7/10/2002 08:51:00 AM by Douglas

Isn't it ironic that in order to quash the perception that he's a freak, Michael Jackson has enlisted the help of the Honorable Reverend Dr. Al Sharpton?

Wacko Jacko says he's no freako

Let's see if I can run this one down: You look like a 14 year old girl, you hang out with 13 year old boys, monkeys, the Elephant Man's bones, Webster, and some Llamas. You married Elvis' daughter and 18 years ago you set a world record for most albums sold and now you're claiming that the system is aligned against you?

Most people that decided to freakishly disfigure themselves usually ensure that they'll hold only the lowliest of jobs. I'm talking about the people with spiderweb tattoos on their faces and the like. He's lucky that he had enough money to get some quality plastic surgery. Again, and again, and again.

Norm McDonald summed it up best when he bombed with a Jacko joke a few years ago on Weekend Update:

You know he's a homosexual pedophile, right?

Sadly, Norm got the boot.

Is he really going to hire Johnny Cochran to sue Sony for opressing him?

Not that's a kind of opression I'd like to see come my way.