Posted 12/20/2003 01:15:00 AM by Douglas

Ah, the obligatory Christmas lights. I guess everyone in my neighborhood read this and are trying to out do each other with their cheap, imported, Chinese lights. Either that, or they saw this and thought it was an instructional, "how-to" video.

But the big picture? Somewhere in this concept, when you consider paying someone else to hang your Christmas lights:

We mourn the loss of manufacturing jobs-"real jobs"-and ignore growing aesthetic professions, from installing holiday lights and landscaping lawns to giving manicures and facials, from designing brochures to crafting granite countertops.

Uh, I don't want to put too fine a point on this, because if I was going to rant about this country's loss of industrial prowess, I wouldn't start with paying someone else to hang your Christmas lights. It's just a symptom, not a cause. But this is a nice yardstick:

You can buy a 100-light string, nearly 50 feet long, for $2.44 at Wal-Mart.

I saw a sign at Walgreen's for 2 100-light strands for $3.99. How in the hell can anyone make them that cheap? Even in China? But here is where she falls off the deep end:

Just as surely as the horsepower of a car engine or the warmth of a blanket, the pleasure of twinkling Christmas lights offers real value.

Real value? From a flashing light? Surely we're not all that stupid yet, are we?

Is it important that you have a job? Is it important that your neighbor has one, too? Sure it is. They can't hang cheap, imported Christmas lights all year round.