Posted 4/30/2004 07:49:00 PM by Douglas

Is this woman really that excited about joining the EU, or is she just cold?

Posted 4/30/2004 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

Great. Just what our highways need. Moving targets.

The orange construction cones and barrels that litter Nebraska's highways may be going high-tech.

A University of Nebraska professor has developed robotic cones and barrels that can move out of the way, or into place, from computer commands made miles away.

They can even be programmed to move on their own at any particular part of the day, said Shane Farritor, an assistant professor of mechanical engineering at Nebraska.

For example, if workers arrived at 6 a.m., the cones could move from the shoulder to block off the lane at that time, then return to the side of the highway at the end of the day.

"It just seems like a very good application for robots," Farritor said Thursday.

Is this guy out of his freakin' mind? How'd you like to be driving down the road and see a batch of Schneider eggs coming at you?

Posted 4/30/2004 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

What's worse than the tourism PR nightmare Australia would face from thousands of starving Koalas? Thousands of shot Koalas.

"While they may be cute and cuddly we need to get beyond emotion to reality...my suggestion is professional shooters do it quickly and cleanly," Kanck told Reuters on Friday of the proposed cull.

Hey kids, look at that pile of Koala carcasses. Isn't it adorable?

I know! How 'bout introducing a strange new species to the island that eats the Koalas and has no know natural predator? Cane Toads, anyone?

Posted 4/30/2004 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

I love Lileks' description of his self professed collegiate naïveté:

Anyway: at the college paper we lived in a warm capacious womb, dogpaddling in the amniotic fluid of our unexamined assumptions, writing sentences as bad as this one and thinking ourselves quite clever. These things we knew: Soviet influence in Central America could be blunted by a complete withdrawl of American support; Ronald Reagan was indifferent to the possibility of nuclear war; Europeans were wise rational Vulcans to our crass carnivorous Earthlings, except for isolated throwback horrors like Margaret Thatcher. All new weapons systems were boondoggles that wouldn't work and would never be needed, and served as penis substitutes for Jack D. Ripper-type generals who probably went home and poured lighter fluid on toy soldiers, lit them with a Zippo and cackled maniacally. A nuclear freeze was the first step to a safer world, because if everyone had 10,237 ICBMs instead of 10,238 we might be less inclined to use them. The Soviets were our enemy only because we thought they were, which forced them to act like our enemy. Soldiers were brainwashed killbots or gung-ho rapist killbots who signed up only because Reagan had personally shuttered the doors of the local steel mill, depriving them of jobs. Of all wars in human history, Vietnam was the most typical. Higher taxes on the rich resulted in fewer poor people. The inexplicable mulishness of big business was the only thing that held back widespread adoption of solar power.

The world outside the campus was crass and stupid and run by the people who went to frats and sororities. Say no more.

That's what I believed. Althought sometimes I suspected that I really didn't.

Ah, the 80's; how fun that must have been. Too bad not everyone has grown up since their bong-water soaked college days. And no, this doesn't only apply to the editorial staff at The New York Times.

Posted 4/30/2004 04:50:00 PM by Douglas

How's the best way to learn about gun safety? How 'bout at a DEA sponsored gun-safety class where an agent pops a cap in his own ass?

The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration is investigating an incident in which one of its agents giving a presentation to Orlando-area children on gun safety shot himself in the thigh.

Orlando police investigators have ruled the April 9 shooting at The Callahan Center, 101 N. Parramore Ave., accidental, police Lt. Curley Bowman said Thursday night.

The presentation was part of a class called "The Game of Life, The Game of Golf," according to a police report. It was held by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, which aims to introduce minority children to the sport. The agent was speaking to the youths about making good life choices and included a presentation on gun safety, according to the report.

During the speech, the agent drew his .40-caliber duty weapon and removed the magazine, the report said. He then pulled back the slide and asked a man in the audience to look inside the weapon to make sure it was not loaded, the report said.

"The person nodded that it didn't have ammunition," Farmer recounted. "The gun was never pointed at anyone."

Witnesses told police that the agent kept his gun pointed toward the floor and when he released the slide, the weapon fired one shot into the top of his thigh.

What the hell? Why in the hell is the DEA involved in a class called "The Game of Life, The Game of Golf," which aims to introduce minority children to golf? Why is there a gun safety class at a golf seminar? Why would an idiot DEA agent ask an idiot in the crowd to see if his weapon is chambered?

Your tax dollar at work.

Posted 4/30/2004 04:41:00 PM by Douglas

California, always on the forefront, is considering absurd steps to ensure that someone will PLEASE think of the children! They want to ban smoking in cars if there are children present.

California could be on its way to becoming the first U.S. state to outlaw smoking in cars or trucks that have children inside.

A bill is being considered in the state Assembly to allow police to stop vehicles if a minor appears to be exposed to smoke from a pipe, cigar, cigarette, or "any other plant."

The bill has the support of the American Lung Association, which points to research showing secondhand smoke can cause cancer, respiratory infections and asthma.

California truly is the promised land. A mythical land where nothing bad could ever happen to you.

Posted 4/29/2004 11:05:00 PM by Douglas

Every wonder where those Mormon missionaries get their luggage? Yeah, me neither, yet something about this web site is oddly intriguing. And not just this picture.

Maybe it's the money, maybe it's their cavernous mouths left agape at the sight of said money. But that's not the point. Is it just me, or am I the only one that finds a problem with referring to these 18 year old punks as elders? Does the short one on the right really look like he knows anything worldly that the one on the left doesn't? I don't think so.

Posted 4/29/2004 09:34:00 PM by Douglas

Democracy. It just doesn't work.

Voters can run, but they can't hide from these guys. Meet the Urosevich brothers, Bob and Todd. Their respective companies, Diebold and ES&S, will count (using BOTH computerized ballot scanners and touchscreen machines) about 80% of all votes cast in the upcoming U.S. presidential election.

Both ES&S and Diebold have been caught installing uncertified software in their machines. Although there is no known certification process that will protect against vote rigging or technical failure, it is a requirement of most, if not all, states.

And, according to author Bev Harris in her book, Black Box Voting, "...one of the founders of the original ES&S (software) system, Bob Urosevich, also oversaw development of the original software now used by Diebold Election Systems."

Talk about putting all our eggs in one very bogus, but brotherly basket.

I couldn't possibly imagine how this could possibly go wrong.

Posted 4/29/2004 09:16:00 PM by Douglas

Here's a thought: instead of creating a brass coin with a woman on its obverse to placate the feminists, how 'bout making a coin that people might actually want to use?

Putting the faces of U.S. presidents on dollar coins would entice collectors and breathe interest into the dollar coin, the chief of the U.S. Mint said Wednesday.

But Mint Director Henrietta Holsman Fore said there still would be challenges in getting the coins into cash registers and people's pockets.

Her comments came during a House hearing that, among other things, explored a legislative proposal aimed at boosting the little-used Sacagawea dollar coin, also called the Golden Dollar because of its color.

And why the hell do they call it gold? It looks just like a penny after it's been in your pocket for 10 seconds.

Here's a three step plan for the mint:

• Get rid of the penny
• Bring back the $2 bill
• Get a $1 coin people will actually use.

Labels: seigniorage

Posted 4/29/2004 09:09:00 PM by Douglas

Damn geologists, you can never trust 'em. Just when you think that Yellowstone was about to explode, they come back and tell us that they made it all up.

Here's a reason to breathe easier: Civilization probably won't be crippled anytime soon by a pulverizing volcanic eruption at Yellowstone National Park.

New research indicates there is probably not a huge pot of magma brewing beneath Yellowstone that's building up to a superviolent eruption thousands of times more powerful than the 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens.

"If something like that was cooking up right now we'd see the evidence, and we don't," said Drew Coleman, an assistant geology professor at the University of North Carolina.

If you can't trust an assistant geology professor from North Carolina when it comes to issues about the Yellowstone area, really, who can we trust?

Posted 4/29/2004 09:06:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting IMDB poll of the top Texas movies. Of course, Chainsaw is going to be at the top, but I'm surprised The Whole Wide World only got 35 votes.

Posted 4/28/2004 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

New Zealand. Where men are men and the sheep are scared.

A renegade New Zealand sheep that managed to evade the shearers for six years has finally had a haircut.

Shrek, the Merino sheep, was shorn live on national television by top shearers David Fagan and Peter Casserley.

The 10-year-old sheep had managed to roam freely on New Zealand's South Island for more than six years before being finally rounded up.

Shrek's giant fleece - possibly the largest ever - is to be auctioned off for children's medical charities.

Poor Shrek. That outta teach her to stay hidden for a while.

Posted 4/28/2004 04:59:00 PM by Douglas

A healthy relationship with your mother is always a good thing, but you can go too far. If you're driving around the Wal-Mart parking lot with her decomposing body in the front seat, it may be time to cut the cord.

A woman filmed wandering in a Wal-Mart for 14 hours may have driven around Florida with her dead, decomposing mother in the front seat, according to Flagler County sheriff's deputies.

The unidentified woman's body was found in a Palm Coast Wal-Mart Supercenter parking lot Tuesday afternoon after shoppers complained of a foul odor.

Happy Mother's Day.

Posted 4/28/2004 04:41:00 PM by Douglas

Calypso water jet. For all your water cutting needs.

Posted 4/28/2004 04:37:00 PM by Douglas

You shouldn't let a murder conviction get in the way of a mother's relationship with her children. Even if she's the one that murdered their father.

The 28-year-old mother who was found guilty in March of stabbing her husband nearly 200 times is fighting a new court battle, this one over visitation rights with her 5-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter.

"These children loved their mother before the verdict, and they love their mother after the verdict," said Deborah Patterson, an attorney representing Wright in the custody and adoption proceedings pending in Harris County family court.

This just keeps getting weirder. If the state says you lose your right to be a member of society, I don't think it's a stretch to say you can't be a mom anymore. But that's before I read this part:

In her trial, Wright testified that while she was stabbing her husband, their son, Bradley, knocked on the bedroom door, prompting her to step away from the bloody scene to calm him and take him back to his bedroom.

She later returned to the couple's bedroom and continued stabbing her husband, she said.

"It's OK, son, Mommy's going to be right back as soon as I'm done stabbing your father 193 times."

Throw. Away. The key.

Posted 4/28/2004 04:24:00 PM by Douglas

I'm sure the police are going to put in many long, hard (he he) hours of overtime trying to identify the victims of this crime.

Posted 4/26/2004 10:00:00 PM by Douglas

Montana is still there.

Posted 4/17/2004 02:21:00 PM by Douglas

Between Los Angeles porn stars and Houston area contractors, we're going to be lucky if anyone still has a job.

I guess that puts a big dent in the plans of those that were going to sit in their new house and watch Thrill Bill, Vol 69.

Posted 4/17/2004 02:12:00 PM by Douglas

Gotta love The Onion for putting the political process in perspective. Here's a Kerry commercial we'd like to see.

"In the past four years, America's national debt has reached an all-time high," the ad's narrator said. "And who's responsible? You are. You're sitting there eating a big bowl of Fritos, watching TV, and getting fatter as the country goes to hell. You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

Of course, Bush's ad is pretty good, too:

"Are you going to vote for a candidate whose campaign promises would cost America $1.9 trillion over the next decade?" the ad asks. "Of course you aren't. You aren't going to vote at all. In the last election, half of you didn't even show up. So, on Nov. 2, just spend the day right there at your dead-end office job, talking to your coworkers about your new sweater and e-mailing your friends photos of your stupid 2-year-old daughter you shouldn't have had."

Ouch

Posted 4/16/2004 04:38:00 PM by Douglas

Let's face it. Any woman that's going to let her man talk her into this is going to eventually have sex with him. And therein lies the truly troubling part of this.

They're probably gonna breed.

Posted 4/15/2004 09:35:00 PM by Douglas

Got Gout? Give up the beer, and take up wine.

It's official -- drinking causes gout. But if you must drink alcohol, drink wine, scientists say.

For centuries, the painful, crippling joint inflammation has been immortalized by poets and playwrights -- more than a few of whom wrote from personal experience -- as the curse of heavy drinkers.

Poets, playwrights, suffering from a drunk's disease? Go figure.

Posted 4/15/2004 09:01:00 PM by Douglas

Cell phones don't annoy people. Annoying people do.

Cell phones have long been virtually unavoidable on city streets and in shopping malls. But they now are showing up in some of the very places people go to get away from it all: national parks.

For park managers, this is a challenge. Officials with the National Park Service say they want to meet the needs of visitors and provide for their safety. But they also must protect the park and the visitor experience. And there is no set policy on how to strike this balance.

I don't get it. An obnoxious person having a loud conversation with a cell phone is no less obnoxious just because they're having it with another person. So what's the problem?

‘‘It's possible you could come to a trail in Yellowstone and see someone yakking on the phone to their stockbroker,'' said Dennis McKinney, development director at Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility.

Possibly, but what about the lost, stranded and otherwise helpless park attendee that is desperately relying on this technology? Cell Phones are here to stay, and I don't think anyone would be a proponent for putting a tower in the middle of Old Faithful, but that doesn't mean they're not useful, and certainly doesn't mean they're going to go away.

‘You can't control what they do at Old Faithful like you can't control what they do in downtown New York,'' she said.

If the millions of people that go to Yellowstone want a cell phone, you better believe that there are going to be towers blanketing the perimeter of Yellowstone.

But if you want to get rid of the truly annoying visitors at our national parks, let's start with people with 40 foot RVs, towing a car, towing a boat, towing a snowmobile. They're the ones I can do without.

Posted 4/15/2004 06:49:00 PM by Douglas

This chick has an interesting web site, but how could you not with a title like "The Cult of the One-eyed Cat?" The "Letters I wrote in my head" cracked me up. Check out V1.0.

Posted 4/15/2004 06:40:00 PM by Douglas

There go the plans for my beach party.

Local officials love to see plenty of sunbathers enjoying themselves at Surfside or other Brazoria County beaches, but they just don't want to see certain parts of them.

Brazoria County Commissioners Court voted this week to outlaw nudity by either sex or women going topless at any public place, street, sidewalk, alley, beach or other public thoroughfare in the county.

"Women need to put their tops on," said Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne.

Women have to put their tops on in Brazoria County, or as I like to call it, Nazi Germany!

Posted 4/14/2004 09:22:00 PM by Douglas

$300 Million settlement. 27 attorneys get $4 million each, while the 18,447 plaintiffs in the case will receive an average of $7,725 and as little as $500 each.

So, the system does work, after all.

A $300 million settlement of federal claims over PCB contamination in Anniston, Ala., will give plaintiffs an average of $7,725 each while paying their attorneys millions apiece -- including $29 million to the firm of California lawyer Johnnie Cochran Jr.

I'm sure he had a really nifty rhyme worked out for this one, too.

Posted 4/14/2004 09:05:00 PM by Douglas

Now I know why my life sucks so bad. At least I wasn't born in October. [sorry, Dad.]

Babies born in May are most likely to think themselves lucky, and October newborns the least, according to research from a British psychologist.

More than 40,000 people submitted their birth dates to Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire via the Internet and revealed the degree to which they saw themselves as lucky or unlucky.

Half of those born in May fell into the "lucky" bracket, the highest proportion of any month, while the figure slipped to 43 percent for those born in October.

Who, in their right mind, could argue with science like that?????

Posted 4/14/2004 08:59:00 PM by Douglas

My very special guest-blogger seems a lot more special than guest-blogger. What's the problem, Cab-over Pete, the short bus doesn't run close to your house?

Posted 4/13/2004 09:08:00 PM by Douglas

A: A hedge!:

Q: What do you call Bushes all lined up in a row?

Posted 4/13/2004 08:10:00 PM by Douglas

It's obvious now why Kerry is after Bush's job: an 84% pay raise. Let's look at the numbers:

Bush

• Income: $727,083
• Taxes: $227,490 (31%)
• Charitable Contributions: $68,360(9.4%)

Kerry

• Income: $395,000
• Taxes: $90,575(22%)
• Charitable Contributions: $43,735(11%)

Wow. That's a lot of scratch.

Posted 4/13/2004 07:53:00 PM by Douglas

Picture of the rocket in Houston that's falling apart:

Kind of ironic that the streak behind it is the plasma trial left by Columbia on STS-93.

Posted 4/13/2004 06:10:00 PM by Douglas

Where does the government spend the billions of tax dollars it collects from all of us? Obviously not on translators for anti-terrorism intelligence.

A former FBI director has said the agency couldn't afford as many Arabic translators as it needed before September 11.

Louis Freeh told the commission investigating the September 11 attacks that the FBI had asked to hire Arabic and Persian speakers at a higher rate than the salary scale stipulated, which was low or mid-entry level clerical or adminstrative positions.

Mr Freeh said the salary restrictions came on top of staffing problems which stemmed from a recruitment freeze of almost two years in the first half of the 1990s.

Two messages intercepted from suspected al Qa'eda members on September 10, 2001 said: "Tomorrow is zero hour," and "The match begins tomorrow."

They were only translated on September 11 and given to policy-makers on September 12.

It's good to know that they went ahead and paid for the overtime to get the message translated on 9/12. That would have driven them crazy not knowing what it said. That's the kind of thing that would haunt you.

Posted 4/13/2004 04:21:00 PM by Douglas

Sometimes pig crap is just pig crap.

The thermochemical conversion process uses intense heat and pressure to break down the molecular structure of manure into oil. It's much like the natural process that turns organic matter into oil over centuries, but in the laboratory the process can take as little as a half-hour.

A similar process is being used at a plant in Carthage, Mo., where tons of turkey entrails, feathers, fat and grease from a nearby Butterball turkey plant are converted into a light crude oil, said Julie DeYoung, a spokeswoman for Omaha, Neb.-based Conagra Foods, which operates the plant in a joint venture with Changing World Technologies of Long Island, N.Y.

I've read about that plant in Carthage, Mo, making oil out of turkey guts, but I didn't know it was operational. If I've learned nothing else from thermodynamics, and I haven't, it's that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Posted 4/13/2004 04:18:00 PM by Douglas

The Alamo falls again as The Passion is resurrected Easter weekend.

Directed by John Lee Hancock and starring Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett, the feature was eclipsed by a strong surge from Newmarket Films' "The Passion of the Christ," which collected $15.2 million in its seventh weekend.

I wouldn't have thought The Alamo would have had much of an audience outside of Texas, but whoever convinced the producers to give them $140 Million to make is movie is the real hero.

Posted 4/12/2004 10:04:00 PM by Douglas

Give it up, Ladies and Gentlemen, for our guest blogger, Mr. Dave Jordan. He's going to get you through these tough weeks ahead when I'm gone. Treat him with the utmost respect.

And I don't think his name necessarily states he has a beer belly. It's just implied.

Posted 4/12/2004 09:14:00 PM by Anonymous

Well, here I am, Mr. Guest Blogger. Don't I feel elevated in stature. As my name states, I have a beer belly.

Posted 4/12/2004 04:26:00 PM by Douglas

Air Marshals not adhering to the rigor of their chosen profession? Say it ain't so. . .

A federal air marshal accidentally left her gun in a restroom beyond the security checkpoints at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, officials say.

The weapon was discovered by a passenger who alerted an airline employee.

The marshal remained on the job after Thursday's incident when she visited an airport restroom and inadvertently left her gun behind, Dave Adams, spokesman for the Federal Air Marshal Service in Washington, said Saturday.

The restroom was beyond security checkpoints, airport spokeswoman Pat Smith said. So the risk was that someone could have discovered the gun and taken it on a flight.

I know I feel a lot safer knowing these highly trained and dedicated government workers are on the job. But what about the mall parking lot that is being deprived of their security guard?

Posted 4/11/2004 10:19:00 PM by Douglas

Lileks takes a reflective look at the past, as usual, with typical Lileksonian profundity.

After a while the sheer weight of undistinguished items is too much, and you have to let go. You have to take the bolt cutters to certain ties to the past. Old ugly china: does it matter that it belonged to Great Grandma? It does. But in the end it doesn't. If you could make these items speak, it would be different; if the salt cellar could describe who sat around the table on Christmas Eve, what they wore, what they said, who had manners, who laughed too loud, who watched everyone with birdy eyes and said nothing -- that would be different.

Individually they're fragile and undistinguished. Collectively they have value, presence, and heft; you can't get rid of them, so you put them in the top cupboard and leave them alone. Just like family! Oh, relax, I’m kidding. But bad china is a curse passed from generation to generation. If only we had a tradition that demanded we break all the dishes when the bearers finally pass; even the kids could join in, flipping the dishes like Frisbees into the grave.

We spend a lifetime accumulating crap, and so does everyone else. What do you think is going to happen to yours?

Posted 4/11/2004 10:00:00 PM by Douglas

Don't mess with Texas. We'll shoot your lame ass.

A video store employee was wounded after exchanging gunfire with an alleged robber who was killed in an early morning shooting, police said.

Vicente Bonilla, 38, a Northshore Video & News employee, was shot in the chest at about 3:30 a.m. today, police said. He was taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital.

The robbery suspect, Benjamin Delpozo, who was shot several times in the chest, was pronounced dead at the scene at 12915 East Freeway.

Police said Delpozo, 27, wearing yellow gloves and a blue bandana over his face, walked up to the store's entrance carrying a handgun.

Bonilla was armed and stood in front of the store as Delpozo walked up to him. The two then exchanged gunfire before Delpozo collapsed at the store's entrance, police said.

Several customers were in the store when the shooting started, but no one else was injured, police said.

Ouch. You mess with the bull, you sometimes get the horns.

Posted 4/11/2004 04:07:00 PM by Douglas

Sell your Lockheed stock now. Looks like the military isn't interested in an update of their 30 year old aircraft just yet.

"It's obvious that we're paying a heavy price, I think, for not having had enough troops there from the beginning," the Arizona Republican said on NBC's "Meet the Press."

McCain said both the U.S. Army and the Marine Corps must be expanded overall, a position at odds with President Bush's administration. The United States has about 135,000 troops in Iraq, a number that McCain said must rise.

As part of a broad overhaul of U.S. priorities, he said, the Pentagon may have to scrap the $71 billion Air Force program to buy F/A-22 air-to-air fighters built by Lockheed Martin Corp.

So we're dropping the F/A-22 air-to-air fighters (really, what other kind of fighter is there besides air-to-air?) and we're dropping the Comanche helicopter in favor of older, cheaper, proven technology.

It's good to see that the military is finally realizing that they can't win without men on the ground, but jeez, what a price they're paying. Considering all this technology is 30 years old, it's quite fitting to say we're gearing up to fight Viet Nam with WWII technology. All the way from the M-16 to the F-16. . . they're all at least 30 years old. Considering the technology we're up against, camels, box cutters, and rusty Soviet Army surplus junk, this may not be a bad idea. But man, talk about being content with living in the 20th century.

Posted 4/10/2004 12:45:00 PM by Douglas

Anyone that has participated in high school athletics knows that harsh words from the coach are part of the game. Some would even see it see it as some form of motivation. Not Jennifer Besler. She blames her coach's berating and profanity as the source of her eating disorder, and was able to convince a jury of that fact to the tune of $1.5 million, but the appellant judge threw it out.

Jennifer Besler, who lives in Robbinsville, Washington Township, was upset by the judge's reversal but remained upbeat, saying she hopes to prevail on appeal.

"She's wrong," Besler said of the judge. "She wasted a jury's time. The system is in place for a reason, and if the jury finds a certain way it should stand."

Well, no, Jennifer, that's not how it works. We all don't get $1.5 Million when we get our feelings hurt, no matter how dumb the jury is in New Jersey. But let's look at the big picture. Won't someone please think of the children? Thankfully, Daniel Fleming is there, looking out for the downtrodden.

"The message is crime pays," said Fleming. "And if you're an abusive coach, your lawyers will protect you, and if not, the courts will protect you. But who will protect the kids?"

Yes, who will protect the kids? Their parents? Their teachers? Of course not.

Lawyers.

Posted 4/10/2004 12:29:00 PM by Douglas

The Mormons are at it again, or should I say, still at it. Posthumously baptizing people that didn't see the divine enlightenment of being a Mormon when they were alive.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has long collected names from government documents and other records worldwide for posthumous baptisms. Church members stand in to be baptized in the names of the deceased non-Mormons, a ritual the church says is required for them to reach heaven.

The practice is primarily intended to give salvation to the ancestors of Mormons, but many others are included, since the church believes that individuals' ability to choose a religion continues beyond the grave. Non-Mormon faiths have objected to the baptisms.

I think that if the Jews that are getting ticked off about this gave a tenth of the credibility to Mormonism as they do to Judaism, they'd become Mormons themselves. Just because one of your cousins becomes Mormon and baptizes your grandpa, that doesn't make him a Mormon, does it? It certainly doesn't alter they way he lived his life, or his spiritual relationship. If the Church of LDS really has that kind of divine authority, wouldn't we all be Mormon, eventually?

I just don't see the problem down the line with a group to whom I give no credibility in life determining my existence after I die. They can say that I'm a Hindu woman that was the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, that doesn't have any impact on how I lived my life.

Posted 4/10/2004 12:00:00 PM by Douglas

This low carb bullshit is getting out of hand. I thought the low carb beer was silly enough, but now we're going to see carb counts on liquor.

Consumers counting carbohydrates and calories may soon see that information on the labels of their favorite rum, scotch and other liquors.

While it's up to the individual company to decide whether to provide such information, Peter Cressy, president of the Distilled Sprits Council, said Friday that he expects consumers to start seeing labels containing carb and calorie information on some liquor products within a couple of months.

"More and more consumers are seeking information about the carbohydrate and caloric content of what they eat and drink," Cressy said. Many of the industry's products, including vodka, tequila, whiskey, bourbon, scotch, gin and rum, contain no carbohydrates, he said.

If anyone is serious about losing weight, why in the hell are they drinking beer, anyway? And anyone drinking vodka, gin, rum or whiskey isn't to concerned with carbs.

I had to quit eating bread, but I switched to black-tar heroin. It's 100% carb free.

Posted 4/09/2004 10:03:00 PM by Douglas

Nothing beats a beautiful spring day in south east Texas for some lazy beach combing in Galveston. A cool gulf breeze in your hair, the warm sand oozing between your toes, and the wreckage of unidentified aircraft bobbing in the surf.

Part of the cockpit from an old Bell helicopter has washed ashore on Galveston Island, but the barnacle-encrusted wreckage gave authorities few clues to the craft's demise.

Law officers said the helicopter had not crashed recently and its origin was unknown.

The U.S. Coast Guard, called in to take charge of the wreck, confirmed with the Federal Aviation Administration that the copter had not been reported missing from any recent crash and its ownership could not immediately be determined.

But neither the Coast Guard nor any other agency has expressed interest in the discovery or accepted responsibility for hauling it away.

The piece of fuselage was left in the sand and remained partially submerged in the Gulf of Mexico early today.

Kinda makes that sand dollar I found last August look like a steaming pile of seagull crap.

Posted 4/09/2004 08:55:00 PM by Douglas

Here's an excellent way to lose your pilot's license. Either that, or get shot down.

Crawford, Texas (Reuters) - U.S. F-16 fighter jets intercepted a small plane flying near President Bush's ranch on Friday.

The plane landed at an airport at San Marcos, Texas, and Secret Service agents were interviewing the pilot.

"There was a violation. The fighters did respond," said Ann Roman, a Secret Service spokeswoman in Washington.

She said Bush was never in any danger. Bush and his family are spending the Easter holiday weekend at the central Texas ranch.

San Marcos is a long way from Crawford, but it doesn't much matter. That guy will never fly again.

Posted 4/09/2004 08:47:00 PM by Douglas

I've done lots of dumb things in my day, but I don't think I've ever ended up on a greeting card before.

Most women are eager to show off their wedding photos. But Michele Hemphill is suing to get a picture of her drinking whiskey and smoking a cigarette in her wedding dress off store shelves.

The photo was taken 22 years ago while Hemphill was with her bridesmaids before her wedding. It's featured on a greeting card with the caption: "Intoxicating Love." Inside it says, "Isn't love intoxicating? Congratulations on your special day."

Hemphill, a mother of three who works at an assisted living community and is active in her church, seeks damages of more than $25,000 for invasion of privacy, publication of private matters, intrusion upon seclusion and slander in her lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court.

She asks that all copies of the photograph be destroyed and the card be removed from retailers.

So it's not the most flattering picture, but she should be flattered that she's getting national exposure. She shouldn't be asking for its removal, she should be asking for a cut of the profits.

Posted 4/09/2004 08:41:00 PM by Douglas

I think Clarke's book has pretty much been talked out, but you gotta like a review that starts out like this:

If you're reading these words, you could probably use a hobby.

Exactly. I have the same thoughts all the time. Anyhoo. . .

"Patriotism," said Dr. Johnson, "is the last refuge of a scoundrel." But the good doctor never met Paul Wolfowitz. Richard Clarke had to, once the Bushies took charge. Their first meeting-four months after Mr. Clarke told the newly installed Condi Rice that Osama bin Laden posed an imminent danger to the United States-made clear that it would not be a marriage made in heaven.

There's lots of Monday morning quarterbacking going on in this, but how can there not be? Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you're the head of the National Security Agency, your job is, oh, I don't know, national security! I'm not implying the tin-foil hat crowd is correct in saying that the Bushies knew it was going to happen, but Condi & Co. have to accept their culpability in that it happened on their watch.

This last statement may be a bit over the top, but still, it's not an exageration to say that they really dropped the ball.

There's one last reason, which is how you'll feel when you've finished Richard Clarke's brave, damning, gripping book: that a lot of people ought to burn in hell because of 9/11. And not all of them live in caves.

Posted 4/08/2004 08:34:00 PM by Douglas

Words of the day:

exasperate vs. exacerbate
and
turgid vs. turbid
What a difference a consonant makes!

Posted 4/08/2004 06:06:00 PM by Douglas

In case there was any doubt that Germans were totally nuts, here's some empirical evidence. The Teutonic toilet. . . or, Die Crapper:

I do not understand the purpose of this toilet. It does not save water - you must flush it eight or ten times to remove every last scrape and smear. It is not hygienic - the smell is ungodly. The only conceivable explanation is that Germans love to inspect their stool, so the German toilet of necessity features a built-in stool inspection shelf. I wouldn't be surprised if the more expensive models include a digital scale: "Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!" exclaims Günter, joyful and relieved.

Further research has revealed that the German toilet is in fact designed to facilitate stool examination. This is a wise, healthy practice, argue Germans, a person's best defence[sic] against intestinal disease, water-borne parasites or worm-riddled, undercooked pork sausage.

That's freakin' hilarious. Maybe this explains why they like David Hasselhoff so much: they're enamored with crap.

Posted 4/08/2004 06:04:00 PM by Douglas

Tax time in Texas again this spring, and Governor Hair is looking at the most obvious places: Sin.

The governor . . . outlined a series of new state revenue raisers for education, including a $1 per pack increase in the state cigarette tax, a $5 admission tax on adult entertainment and video lottery terminals at racetracks.

Come on. . . Taxing strip clubs? That's just nuts. Look, we're already paying out the nose on property taxes, sales taxes, and school tax. Don't make us pay out of other body parts, too!

And another $1 increase on a pack of smokes? What are they now, $4 a pack? Pretty soon they'll be up to $10 a pack like in New York City, where a pack of smokes now cost more than crack does.

Ok, cigarettes are unhealthy and annoying, but so are cheeseburgers. Where's the 60% tax markup on fast food? Thankfully, no one important in the Texas legislature is ever gonna reads this, because the Texas legislature would see this as a really good idea.

Posted 4/08/2004 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

Save our rocket!

The rocket's owner, the Smithsonian Institution's National Air and Space Museum in Washington, is hoping a $4 million preservation project and a new home indoors will save it for future generations to see.

Over the years, it also has been battered by torrential rains and seared by the relentless sun of the Texas Gulf Coast. Mold and plants grow from its surfaces; owls and rodents have taken up residence inside.

I'd hate to see it rust into pieces, but I think it's a fascinating footnote to our space program. Here's the keywords: It's in a museum. If we were still flying something into space regularly, and not just low Earth orbit, then this wouldn't be much of an issue. We wouldn't need to remember these great feats. They'd be commonplace.

Saving the rocket, Bilstein said, is "kind of like saving the first vessel that the Vikings sent to the shores of North America."

"It's an absolutely unique historical artifact," he said.

That may be a bit hyperbolic. Ok, Apollo was very important to our society, but when you get down to it, the three surviving Saturn Vs are basically ornamental. What about the very first Model T produced? It's not nearly as important to anyone but a collector. Why? Because they churn out 5 million Fords every year.

So I guess I'm glad they're taking steps to preserve it, but it's sad to see that they have to. That rocket should have been rusting in the bottom of the Atlantic for the last 30 years, instead of providing shelter for Texas wildlife.

Posted 4/07/2004 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

What an incredible story. Any woman that can give herself her own C-section is definitely not a woman to mess with.

A woman in Mexico gave birth to a healthy baby boy after performing a Cesarean section on herself with a kitchen knife, doctors said Tuesday.

The unidentified 40-year-old woman, who lived in a rural area without electricity, running water or sanitation and was an eight-hour drive from the nearest hospital, performed the operation when she could not deliver the baby naturally.

She had lost a previous baby due to labor complications.

"She took three small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife, sliced her abdomen in three attempts ... and delivered a male infant that breathed immediately and cried," said D.r R.F. Valle, of the Dr. Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo, Mexico.

I know you gotta do what you gotta do, but I think it would take a bit more than a few shots of tequila to cut your own belly open with a kitchen knife. Then again, in America, a couple shots of tequila is the cause of most pregnancies.

Posted 4/07/2004 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

As it turns out, George W. Bush actually is a uniter, not a divider! Who knew?

The American dream to bridge ancient Iraqi sectarian rivalries turned nightmarish Tuesday as Shiite and Sunni religious and tribal figures put aside their differences and publicly aligned against the occupation, vowing to rid Iraq of the American-led invaders.

In the past 72 hours over 18 U.S. soldiers and well over 100 Iraqis have died in vicious fighting across Iraq. U.S. aligned coalition forces also took significant casualties of an unconfirmed number in fighting in four southern cities.

Before last week the primary forces resisting the U.S. occupation were a combination of former Baath Party members and Sunni religious figures, but after fighting broke out between the coalition and a militia led by a young radical Shiite cleric, much of Iraq turned to complete chaos.

Well that's just super. There were virtually no links between al-Qaida and Iraq before the occupation, but now the Shiite and Sunni have joined up with al-Qaida to get Americans out of Iraq. I could be speaking out of turn here, but I don't think this is the cohesion G'dub was looking for.

Posted 4/07/2004 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

Since the present administration has rid the world of evil-doing terrorists, what's the next target? You guessed it: porn.

Lam Nguyen's job is to sit for hours in a chilly, quiet room devoid of any color but gray and look at pornography. This job, which Nguyen does earnestly from 9 to 5, surrounded by a half-dozen other "computer forensic specialists" like him, has become the focal point of the Justice Department's operation to rid the world of porn.

In this field office in Washington, 32 prosecutors, investigators and a handful of FBI agents are spending millions of dollars to bring anti-obscenity cases to courthouses across the country for the first time in 10 years. Nothing is off limits, they warn, even soft-core cable programs such as HBO's long-running Real Sex or the adult movies widely offered in guestrooms of major hotel chains.

Department officials say they will send "ripples" through an industry that has proliferated on the Internet and grown into an estimated $10 billion-a-year colossus profiting Fortune 500 corporations such as Comcast, which offers hard-core movies on a pay-per-view channel.

First off, there's a job that pays people to surf the net for porn? Are they still accepting resumes?

Seriously, this topic is so tired, it's making me yawn. Bush is doing nothing more than digging for votes in the same place he went in 2000. "Christian" conservatives. He'll spend a few million dollars trying to shut down some porn factories, then he can stump about what he's doing to "preserves the family." Then the world will truly be a better place.

As for internet porn, it's here to stay. It's incredibly easy to off-shore that kind of stuff, far out of reach of the DoJ, so Lam Nguyen will be surfin' the same sites when his 2 year old is in college. Because as we all know, porn on the internet is like peeing in the swimming pool: once it's in there, you're not getting it out.

Posted 4/07/2004 05:14:00 PM by Douglas

Let's say you're a 17 year old football player ready to leave a party. You've been drinking all night, done a little OxyContin, and your friends try to talk you out of driving. But you do anyway, getting into your car without using the seatbelt. You come up to a rain-slickened curve just past a hill. What do you do next? Accelerate, right?

The parents of 17-year-old Mooresville High School football player Steven L.R. Terrell, who died Nov. 1 in an auto accident, have indicated they intend to sue Morgan County officials. They cite the county's failure to properly maintain, construct and post warnings along the stretch of road where their son was killed.

The place where Terrell died after a post-football game party is on a precarious stretch of narrow roadway between a curve and a hill. Yet thousands of drivers travel the road without incident year after year.

I guess it's sad when anyone meets a tragic end like this. Even stupid people. But what could possibly be going through the minds of the parents that file such a lawsuit? Even if there is something legitimately wrong with the road, it's not going to be addressed in this suit. This one will be reduced to what it really is. Another drunk, hopped up teenager with more testosterone than sense.

Posted 4/07/2004 05:02:00 PM by Douglas

This story just keeps getting weirder. She trashes her own car, and now the rest of her checkered past comes to light.

Kerri Dunn taught criminal justice but she was a shoplifter. While earning a PhD in psychology, she was ordered into counseling for stealing.

Dunn, 39, was a hero to many students at Claremont McKenna College, lifting her voice for the oppressed. Then she became the professor who may have betrayed them.

She railed against hate crimes. Now she is suspected of staging one.

Dunn - a Catholic converting to Judaism - prided herself on being passionate and outspoken. But court records and interviews with colleagues, students, friends and police reveal a woman of contradiction and secrets.

So, when there isn't enough racial tension and division on campus, just make it up. This woman has got to be Coo Coo For Cocoa Puffs. But what's even more bizarre is that after it was determined that she had done it, after canceling classes due to the incident, they were still able to hold anti-hate crime rallies. Because, you know, this incident could have been a hate crime.

But this is the best part. Kerri, drive it home for us:

"The bummer of the whole thing," said Dunn at the time, "was having to rent a car."

Yep, after setting back race relations twenty years and totally destroying your career and credibility, the worst part was getting a rental car.

Posted 4/07/2004 04:46:00 PM by Douglas

Why do smart people believe dumb things? This guy's got some theories:

Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for nonsmart reasons.

Uh, I don't think that's it. Most people aren't so much skilled at defending their beliefs as they are at describing why they believe them.

Rarely do any of us sit down before a table of facts, weigh them pro and con, and choose the most logical and rational explanation, regardless of what we previously believed. Most of us, most of the time, come to our beliefs for a variety of reasons having little to do with empirical evidence and logical reasoning. Rather, such variables as genetic predisposition, parental predilection, sibling influence, peer pressure, educational experience and life impressions all shape the personality preferences that, in conjunction with numerous social and cultural influences, lead us to our beliefs. We then sort through the body of data and select those that most confirm what we already believe, and ignore or rationalize away those that do not.

OK, I can buy that, but here's the clincher:

Education by itself is no paranormal prophylactic.

Actually, education isn't any kind of prophylactic.

Posted 4/06/2004 09:53:00 PM by Douglas

Apparently city ordinances aren't taken very seriously in Lubbock.

Three years of notoriety that surrounded a colorful house on Indiana Avenue may soon end as the owner has agreed to abide by a city ordinance once protested with purple paint and polka dots.

Known as the Purple House, the 2,800-square-foot rental house at 25th and Indiana stood as a challenge to a city code that prohibits more than two unrelated roommates from living in the same house.

Texas Tech students contacted the city about changing the ordinance, and City Councilman Gary Boren said last year that painting the house purple was "a sissy way to deal with something."

I guess you just can't fight city hall, can you? Especially with purple paint and polka dots.

Posted 4/06/2004 06:49:00 PM by Douglas

Dynamite: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Police said Monday they have no idea who is responsible for at least 29 sticks of dynamite found strewn along roadsides.

No one has been injured, but one elderly man who had found some sticks told police he nearly put one on the stove as sausage. He told police he had taken others to the station but forgot one, and when he reached for sausage while cooking, he instead picked up the dynamite.

Police Sgt. Rey Casarez said four sticks were found on a farm-to-market road on the south side of town Friday. He said 20 more were found Sunday strewn along the south side of town and around a residential area on the east side of town.

Casarez said police had scoured the area, but hadn't found any more.

"Still, that's a lot of sticks to be thrown around our city," he said. "We've walked the areas. We haven't been able to find more, but you never know."

We're worried about foreign terrorists and there are people already here that just lose 30 sticks of dynamite? And just how dumb do you have to be to mistake a stick of dynamite for a sausage? Have we learned nothing from Roadrunner & Coyote cartoons?

Posted 4/05/2004 06:05:00 PM by Douglas

What a lovely image:

An Iraqi Shi'ite supporter of cleric Moqtada al-Sadr celebrates near a burning U.S. Army truck in the Shula neighborhood of Baghdad April 5, 2004. U.S. helicopters blasted targets in Baghdad as a showdown intensified with radical Shi'ite militiamen challenging America's postwar blueprint for Iraq

I wonder if we'll see this one on the new reelection commercial for Bush?

Meanwhile, President Bush on Monday reaffirmed the U.S. plan to turn over sovereignty to an Iraqi government on June 30, saying "the date remains firm."

Posted 4/05/2004 05:55:00 PM by Douglas

Extensive television viewing by young children has a connection with attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder? I'm sure I'm not the only one that finds this incredibly hard to believe.

The more television children watch between the ages of 1 and 3, the greater their risk of having attention problems at age 7, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.

They found that each hour of television that preschoolers watched per day increased the risk of attention problems such as attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder, by almost 10 percent later on.

The study, published in the April issue of Pediatrics, the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, adds inattention to the list of harmful effects of excessive television viewing that also includes obesity and violent behavior.

This and other ground-breaking medical discoveries in this month's copy of "Duh" magazine.

But still, even with the threat of ADHD, TV is still much easier than actually caring for your children.

Labels: Duh

Posted 4/05/2004 05:38:00 PM by Douglas

For some reason, I find it humorous that the name of this ride was The Gravitron.

An amusement ride broke open and ejected several passengers at a county fair, injuring seven people including a teenage girl who was in critical condition.

A piece of paneling came off "The Gravitron" while it was running late Friday, Miami-Dade police spokesman Juan DelCastillo said Saturday. The ride spins at high speed to generate centrifugal force that pins seated passengers against its interior wall.

A bolt that held the panel in place sheared, said Liz Compton, a Department of Agriculture spokeswoman.

About 40 to 45 people were on the ride when the accident happened, said Phil Clark, chief executive of the Miami-Dade County Fair and Exposition.

Three of the passengers were hurled out through the opening left by the panel, DelCastillo said. There was no immediate word on how far the three people were thrown.

Why not? Ten feet, a hundred feet? Why doesn't someone know how far? Also, as horrible as this would be, you've got admit that Metal Fatigue at a Florida Carnival isn't exactly a shocking headline.

Posted 4/05/2004 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

If you're a rent-a-cop tasked to guard a parking lot at a strip club, maybe you should cut down on the coffee. That, or don't watch RoboCop before going to work every night.

A suspected car burglar was shot and wounded by a security guard at a northwest Houston men's club early today, and his companion was chased down and arrested.

A guard at the club on Pinemont near the Northwest Freeway discovered the two men trying to break into cars in the parking lot about 1 a.m., officials said.

The two suspects got in a car and tried to flee when the guard spotted them, but when they drove at the guard, he fired one shot that struck the driver in the shoulder, authorities said. The getaway car veered into two other parked cars and stopped.

So you're just going to open fire on the car? Are you out of your freakin' mind? I'm sure the Houston community is shocked and appalled to find someone of this caliber guarding one of their strip clubs.

Posted 4/05/2004 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

If there's a human being alive on the planet that can provide a coherent justification for daylight saving time, I'd love to hear it.

In an effort to conserve resources for the efforts of World War I, Congress approved a law that altered each U. S. time zone's standard time by moving clocks ahead by one hour. The plan, known as Daylight Saving Time (DST) lasted only seven months and was very unpopular because most Americans at that time awoke earlier and went to bed later than we do now. The law was eventually repealed.

It's not about farmers, since they work with whatever daylight is available, regardless of what the clock says. It's not about energy conservation, or we wouldn't have 11 MPG SUVs and electric nose hair trimmers. Then why? Why do we purposefully screw with something so basic as "what time is it?" twice a year?

Makes me want to move to Arizona.

Posted 4/02/2004 07:31:00 PM by Douglas

Lileks offers up some first-rate fisking of Kerry's MTV interview. MTV has about as much involvement in the political process as PBS does in selecting the next American Idol.

We stopped pretending we would ratify Kyoto. We only spent $15 billion on AIDS in Africa. We did not take dictation from Paris. If we had done these things, it would minimize the world’s anger.

Is the world angry at Russia, which spends nothing on AIDS and rebuffed Kyoto? Is the world angry at China, which got a pass on Kyoto and spends nothing on AIDS for other countries?

Is the world angry at North Korea for killings its people? Angry at Iran for smothering that vibrant nation with corrupt and thuggish mullocracy? Angry at Syria for occupying Lebanon? Angry at Saudi Arabia for its denial of women’s rights? Angry at Russia for corrupt elections? Is the world angry at China for threatening Taiwan, or angry at France for joining the Chinese in joint military exercises that threatened the island on the eve of an election? Is the world angry at Zimbabwe for stealing land and starving people? Is the world angry at Pakistan for selling nuclear secrets? Is the world angry at Libya for having an NBC program?

Is the world angry at the thugs of Fallujah?

Is the world angry at anyone besides America and Israel?

So. . . America is the only country that's doing anything about anything, yet the entire world is mad at us? I know that's not the point, but they can't have it both ways. Even the neo-cons and their sycophants can't say we went to Iraq to enforce UN Resolution 1441 and claim that the world community didn't approve.

Posted 4/02/2004 06:48:00 PM by Douglas

In low-earth orbit, no one can hear you say "what the hell was that?"

The two men aboard the international space station heard a strange metallic sound again Friday, four months after being startled by it the first time.

Cosmonaut Alexander Kaleri was talking to flight controllers in Moscow when he heard a loud drumlike noise coming from the instrument panel of the station's Russian-built living quarters.

Kaleri and astronaut Michael Foale first heard the mystery noise — described as a flapping sheet of metal — back in late November. Neither the crewmen nor flight controllers were ever able to identify the sound, although engineers suspected space junk may have damaged something on the exterior.

"I had the headset on, so I didn't hear it very clearly. But it sounded sort of like a drum. It sounds sort of like a sheet of something being bent," the cosmonaut reported.

That's got to be a creepy feeling. Knowing the only thing between you and vacuum is a creaking piece of sheet metal that was built by the lowest bidder. But, considering the trouble they had on Mir, this ain't nothing. I hope.

Posted 4/02/2004 06:33:00 PM by Douglas

Why are teachers retiring in droves this year in Texas? It ain't because they're underpaid, it's because teachers don't want to miss out on the decades that their spouses have paid into Social Security.

Here's how it works: The majority of Texas districts, including Amarillo and Canyon, pay into the Teachers Retirement System, not into Social Security, Guffy said. But teachers can receive Social Security - either from a previous job or a spouse's job - if they spend their last day working in a district that pays into both systems.

But Congress closed this loophole in early March, Guffy said. After July 1, teachers will have to work five years in a Social Security district instead of just one day.

Mary Lee Shumaker used the loophole when she retired from the Amarillo Independent School District, in 2003. She taught at Coronado Elementary School for 20 years.

Talk around the district then said that the loophole could be closed before the end of the 2002-03 school year, Shumaker said. She and several fellow teachers consulted their financial advisers to see whether they should retire.

"He said, 'Don't think about it twice; you need to go ahead and do it,"' Shumaker said.

Yes, Mary Lee, go ahead and do it. Eleven retirees may not be a big deal, but I've heard some schools losing as much as a third of their teachers this year. I still don't understand why TRS even allowed the loophole in the first place. The state controls every other aspect of how the schools are run, why did they allow some to chose to pay into TRS while others were paying into Social Security?

But anything people can do to keep the government from screwing them out of Social Security they've paid into their whole lives, hey, I'm all for it.

Posted 4/01/2004 05:20:00 PM by Douglas

Man, what an ass.

Run, Fataki, run!

Posted 4/01/2004 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

Nuclear wastelands, salad dressing. Let's get down to the real issues: eating boogers.

Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.

Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.

He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.

Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.

"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.

You pay your money, you take your chances. Kids are resilient for a reason, and while I don't claim to know why that is, maybe the booger munchin' theory has some credibility.

Posted 4/01/2004 05:00:00 PM by Douglas

Ever wonder where 1,000 Island dressing got its name? Yeah, me neither.

Posted 4/01/2004 04:48:00 PM by Douglas

Amazing photo-narrative of the Chernobyl "dead zone."

Most people had to leave everything, from photos of their grandparents to cars. Their clothes, cash and documents has been changed by state authorities. This is incredible, people lived, had homes, country houses, garages, motorcyles, cars, money, friends and relatives, people had their life, each in own niche and then in a matter of hours this world fall in pieces and everything goes to dogs and after few hours trip with some army vehicle one stands under some shower, washing away radiation and then step in a new life, naked with no home, no friends, no money, no past and with very doubtful future.

What an amazing description. It's a rebirth. These poor people were literally reborn. Whisked away to a new home, stark naked, wet, and probably screaming like a banshee. The only thing missing is a cord to cut.

This is a wonderful depiction of an indescribably horrible event, and her site is getting a lot of traffic. I hope she finds better hosting (angelfire sucks).

You'd have been pretty lucky if you were away on a fishing trip when this happened, but then again, think of all you lost:

I wonder how this guy feel, who once went for a fishing trip and who was not able to return home. It is like you life is cut on two pieces. in one is you slippers still under you bed, photos of a first love that left on piano.. in other is you yourself, you memories and a fishing rod.

Pretty erie. That can't happen in America, right? How far do I live from the South Texas (used to be Nuclear) Project? Not near far enough, judging from some of Elena's pictures.