Posted
7/20/2004 05:18:00 PM
by Douglas
I've been to/had some wild birthday parties in my day, but Michael P. Monn, you take the cake. Or should I say, the
nacho cheese:[Hat tip for the link: Tuey]
According to police, he was stark naked and was carrying a box of Frito Lay snacks and a container of nacho cheese.
"The male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders," Maryville Police Department officer Scott Spicer said.
"The nude male had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent."
Only a "strong" odor of alcohol and was still "semi" incoherent? Does that imply he was semi-coherent, as well? That may be a stretch.
Investigators suspect Monn climbed an 8-foot fence, broke into the pool snack bar through a window, threw nacho cheese on a wall and scattered chips on the ground.
About $40 in chips and $7 in nacho cheese were stolen.
Monn was charged with burglary, theft of less than $500, vandalism less than $500 and public intoxication and was cited for indecent exposure.
Cut the kid some slack. We've all been there. You're celebrating your birthday, drunk off your naked ass, when suddenly you get the urge for nachos. It's a tale as old as the "Happy Birthday" song itself.
He was held at the Blount County Jail in lieu of a $9,300 bond.
$9,300 bond for stealing less than $50 of nachos? Does the punishment fit the crime?
It was Monn's 23rd birthday.
Happy Birthday, Michael, but it looks like you'd better learn when it's nacho cheese. . .