Posted 7/22/2004 08:03:00 PM by Douglas

Ken Jennings delenda est! The geeky Mormon that's become a millionaire by answering thing that no human being should know has become a pop culture icon himself. This guy has a humorous (I hope) take on the Ken, and a bleak look at the future:

And then, on January 17, 2026, Jennings loses to a young woman from Ohio (they later marry) by $1 on a Final Jeopardy question about the short-lived talk show Cooking with JK Rowling & Jay-Z. Many die. Upon seeing Jennings' wager come up short, Alex Trebek suffers a massive pulmonary embolism on set. His last words were, "Alex Jennings...I like the sound of that". The elderly, always susceptible to harsh conditions, are hit hardest; Jeopardy becomes the third leading cause of death that year for the 80-100 demographic. Network TV almost collapses (saved only by Survivor: Mare Tranquilitatis), and Jeopardy ratings fall well below pre-Jennings numbers. Jennings retires to Utah, now wholly owned by the Church of Jennings, Inc. And very gradually, people adjust to a world without Ken Jennings as reigning Jeopardy champion.

I really like the Survivor: Mare Tranquilitatis idea, too. But back to Kenny-boy.

I think he's unwatchable. It's no fun watching two people fight for second place. Boring. But the most frustrating thing about Ken is that he bets like a widower that's worried about blowing his last Social Security check. Even when he's got more than twice as much money as his closest competitor, he won't double down and bet enough to actually win some big bucks in a single game. I'm thinking after a season or two, they're going to change the name of the show from Jeopardy! to Second Place! featuring Ken Jennings!