enthalpy

enthalpy

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The truth shall set you free, but first it's going to piss you off

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Sunday, September 26, 2004

Posted 9/26/2004 12:35:00 PM by Douglas

As a movie fan like the rest of us, I've always thought there were two parallel universes. The real movie universe and "cleaned up for TV" movie universe. So now I realize I'm not the only one. Movies on TV (and basic cable) aren't movies. They're time-filler not worth the test pattern they're up against. But I love the way John expresses his own personal dissatisfaction with the disappointment of the film's disclaimer:

I feel this is information I can do without but hey, I already saw the meagre fare on offer - "Mild profanity, action violence, partial nudity", blah - and it's already put a ceiling on my expectations. I know I won't be shocked or surprised, both of which rank high in my pantheon of cinema-going pleasures. The LA Times even adds its own spin on the rating at the end of reviews: "Too intense for young children" and so on, though I recall a wonderful misprint relating to some plasma-drenched Halloween hack-n-slasher: "Gore. Beheadings. Elviscerations."

What's an Elvisceration? Are we going to cut up Elvis?

The real irony is that we can turn to any cable station (right now, probably) and watch Bruce Willis shoot up the terrorists in Nakatomi Plaza till blood squirts out their eye sockets, yet we can't hear him say "Yippee-ki-yay, Mother Fucker!" Something fundamentally wrong with that.

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