Posted 9/14/2004 06:14:00 PM by Douglas

Shamelessly pilfered from TheAgitator.com today, but this was just so sweet it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. A 12 year old girl is standing up for the wretched condition of her Jr. High school by writing her Senator to remove the Coke machines. She doesn't want Sen. Leahy to physically remove the machine, of course, but rather with some sort of bloviated legislation that will take care of everyone in her school that can't seem to say no to a Pespi commercial. It's not like she trying to really clean out her school of guns, drugs, or even worse, Democrats. But Soda?

"I want the vending machines turned off during lunch on all school grounds—it is that simple," Leahy said on the Senate floor. "I am tired of major soft drink companies trying to take school lunch money away from children."

Jenny, I'd like you to meet free-will. Free-will. . this is Jenny. You two have a lot to talk about.

"Last year in health class the teacher taught us what soda does to your bones. There is 2% of calcium in your bones, 1% in your teeth, the other 1% is in your blood. Soda robs your bones of calcium.

"Once I learned that, I stopped drinking soda altogether. Now I only drink water, milk, and once in a while juice. I’m in 6th grade now and I haven’t had soda for over a year!"

Great for you, Jenny! Good to hear that you're paying attention in health class. Also, hang on to that copy of the Congressional record. You'll be explaining this story to a therapist in about 15 years when you're still living in the women's collective and can't figure out why you're still single and no one will publish your book of feminist poetry.