Posted 9/21/2004 07:55:00 PM by Douglas

So even with the two-piece, Miss America is in trouble.

Skimpy swimsuits, a shortened telecast and a last-woman-standing talent competition couldn't help Miss America's TV ratings. A record-low 9.8 million people watched Saturday's pageant, about 500,000 fewer than last year, continuing a trend that threatens the event's future on network television.

Broadcast by ABC, Miss America was television's most-watched program for the night, according to Nielsen Media Research, drawing a 6.4 rating and a 12 share.

Contestants showed more skin than ever, parading in stringy two-piece suits provided by sponsor Speedo, and master of ceremonies Chris Harrison tried to drum up suspense during eliminations by dragging out the announcements of which contestants would advance.

None of that could stem the loss of viewers for Miss America, whose ratings have declined in eight of the past 10 years.

More than 25 million viewers tuned in to the pageant in 1995.

Even though the 9.8 million viewers was a record low this year, it was the still the "most-watched" program for the night. I don't know crumb about TV ratings, but that's got to count for something, don't it, regardless of what the ratings were in 1995.

Well, maybe not, and as I've said before, who gives a shit? The fact that they can get almost 10 million viewers to watch this hog-calling contest is quite remarkable when you consider that cable offers up such a more diverse and perfunctory parade of jiggling boobies each and every night. Who, besides the "scholarship" contestant's families, cares about or watches this crap?

"It's time to look at Miss America for what it is — an event that is a symbol of a bygone era," said Rutgers University professor Steven Miller, a TV expert. "In order to compete against more modern shows, it needs to have a complete makeover."

Next year, it's going to be on HBO, and the Vaseline isn't just going to be used on their teeth.

But what an interesting libertarian footnote this is to American television. After years of attack from the feminists that have cried that pageants are demeaning to women, what finally (and hopefully) did them in? Bad ratings and low market share.

Long live the market!