Posted 10/05/2004 07:31:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe I'm showing my age but I can remember when drinks proudly advertised their caffeine-free status. Even forcing the caffeinated elephant of the soft-drink world, Coke, to introduce a caffeine-free variety. Well, not anymore. Now the caffeine craze has reached the wonderful world of beer. Or at least Anheuser-Busch, which is close enough.

Brewer Anheuser-Busch says it will introduce a caffeinated, sweet-flavored beer for twentysomething club goers to compete with the flavored rums and vodkas gaining ground on the dance floor.

The new beer B(E) -- read as "B to the E power" -- will roll out in several phases starting in November.

Advertising will focus on in-store merchandising and promotions at bars and nightclubs, with some local print work and online marketing, Anheuser-Busch officials said.

Why? Aside from the obvious question, here's my hilarious headlines:

• After over 150 years, Anheuser-Busch discovers a way to make their beer suck more.
• "B to the E power." Because "S to the UX power" didn't fit on the side of the can.
• Why pass out after 20 beers? Now you don't have to. Bud with Caffeine! Because 20 beers really brings out your best ideas, and your friends really want to hear them at that very moment!
• "B to the E power" It's math, stupid.

Ok, I'm done.

Or maybe I'm not. The spousal unit would like to add the following:

• Caffeine? What's the fucking point, it's a depressant?

Or something like that.