Posted 12/02/2004 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

The Bible is never wrong is it? What if the scriptures contradict something that's easily refuted by even the most casual observer? Well, in Dover, Pennsylvania, the school there isn't going to let this new fangled technology of measuring distances take away from the word of god in Kings 7:23. No, in Dover, they want to drop the 0.14159 from Pi

The Dover school board has raised eyebrows and ire across Pennsylvania and the country after requiring math teachers to offer 3 as an acceptable value of Pi. Pi is the name given to the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter, commonly accepted to be 3.141592, though the actual number is believed to go on endlessly, without repeating. "That's all well and good," said Maureen Callister, Dover school board member, "But what about God? Doesn't he have a say?" Callister cited the Bible, First Kings chapter 7, verse 23, where it says, "He [King Solomon] proceeded to make the molten sea ten cubits from its brim to its other brim, [...] and it took a line of thirty cubits to circle all around it." "If 3 is a good enough 'pi' for the Almighty, then it ought to be good enough for us," stated Callister.

Because it's wrong, you idiot. Look, the Bible is a lot of things to a lot of people, but one thing it isn't is a technical manual. When I first read about this controversy several years ago [although it's not true Alabama tried to make it a law], I thought the 3:1 ratio was, for lack of a better word, rounding error. This is the Bible, not a math text book, and I think most people would overlook the omission. But then you've got people with too much free time on their hands that think the Bible is a better authority on mathematics than an observable and fundamental truth of nature.

If they want to use the Bible as a math text, does that mean they're going to be teaching Trig in Sunday School? Sounds like the math teacher has it all in perspective:

"Listen, I go to church on Sundays, I tithe, I don't need this," said Timothy Ernesto, a 10th grade math teacher in the district, "I need to get these kids ready for the rest of their lives, the SAT's, the ACT, the whole alphabet soup of testing they'll face before college. On top of all that, I have to teach an 'alternate reality' flavor of mathematics? I'm going to need my summer off!"

But rational people should never underestimate the stupidity of school administration:

"We firmly believe that God already explained himself adequately, and he doesn't need us to second-guess him," defended Callister, "Besides, who ever really uses this stuff after school, anyway?"

Oh, I don't know, Maureen. Maybe, perhaps, people that want to get a job sometime in their lives? Pi is kinda important in Engineering and the rest of the world. Also, to people that don't want to waste their lives administrating small school boards in Pennsylvania.