Posted 1/09/2005 04:41:00 PM by Douglas

There's just something so hilarious I find in stories like this. Not that this story is funny in and of itself, but that the same scenario is repeated time and time again, and people just never seem to learn.

WACO, Texas - Swarms of Asian lady bugs, introduced in this country to control pests, have themselves become a nuisance on golf courses and in homes and gardens around Texas.

The insects are beneficial in the summer, but in the winter they infest houses — unlike native lady bugs, which prefer to stay outdoors.

Agriculture experts say the Asian bugs deposit waste and shed skins that become allergens inside homes. They can also leave blood stains on curtains and clothes.

"You hate to say lady bugs are terrible, but they've been terrible for about 60 days now," said McLennan County gardener Doug Quicksall. "They were swarming all around us like houseflies ... and the little rascals stink too. They have a distinct odor about them."

Damn, what were these things trying to get rid of, and how what that worse? What do tree aphids smell like? Just like in Cane Toads, a new species introduced into a foreign environment is going to have repercussions that far exceeds anything that humans could have planned for.

Principal Skinner, do you have any advice in this situation?

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

As usual, The Simpson's beautifully demonstrating that the line between satire and real life is razor thin.