enthalpy

Sunday, February 20, 2005


And all this time, I thought the bathroom at work was always full because engineers are more typically male. But now I find out that the guys in there are in there trying to fire one off.
If you find yourself in a situation of jeopardy, either after work or at a convention, or wherever, and things are heating up and you're really lusting, go to the bathroom and splash cold water on your face, and remind yourself that you're on the verge of potentially ruining your personal life AND your professional life. It won't help. The call of new sex is too strong. So go in a stall and masturbate. Relieve the sexual tension. Get it all out. This will buy you about a half hour of sanity -- when there's opportunity for new fresh sex, our refractory period (the interval between erections) is at its briefest -- so use this tiny window of opportunity to get the hell out of dodge.
Did I miss a memo or something? Are men some form of sentient ape that lack the ability to control their sexual impulses? Any time a saucy tart stirs our eyes, we've got to run to the lavatory to hand-crank the one-eyed yogurt-thrower to avoid dry-humping the copier? I don't think so.

At least not in my office.



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