enthalpy

enthalpy

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The truth shall set you free, but first it's going to piss you off

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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Posted 3/31/2005 04:56:00 PM by Douglas

Hold the phone! Lying on your résumé is illegal? I thought it was encouraged?!?

A former Spring Branch Independent School District administrator has pleaded guilty after being accused of a misdemeanor for lying on his résumé.

In his 2002 district application, Maloney had said he had a bachelor's degree and a master's degree from Cal Southern University, court records show. No such school exists.

Seriously though, if we prosecuted everyone that lied on their résumé, we wouldn't have room in the courts for the petty drug criminals and people driving with a BAL of 0.081%.

Once in an interview I was reviewing the credentials of a young lad that claimed to have a degree in both Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering. After asking him if that was two separate degrees, or if it was a double major offered from his school (my interview banter is weaker than Bea Arthur on the military press), he confessed that his school offered a double major, and if he took three more courses, he'd have two degrees. Yet he listed it on his résumé as though he'd already done so.

But for the ultimate in résumé padding, you've got to head over to The Simpson's

Smithers reads Marge's resume
Smithers: Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Oh, I thought Muddy Waters wrote that song.
Smithers: This resume is very impressive. Let me be the first to say "Abebu Gazini".
Marge: What?
Smithers: "Welcome aboard". I guess my Swahili's not as good as yours.

Classic.

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