Posted
11/29/2005 05:04:00 PM
by Douglas
Why is it that I think that 2007 is already
here. The Federal Communications Commission voted 3-1 Monday to require electronics manufacturers to make all television sets ADHD-compatible within two years.
"In the media-saturated climate of the modern age, few have the time and energy to sit still for an entire episode of King Of Queens," Martin said. "Although the FCC will leave it up to the television networks to make the necessary programming changes, we are recommending, in accordance with the ADHDTV standard, that all shows be no more than six minutes in length, and that they contain jarring and unpredictable camera cuts to shiny props and detailed background sets."
"We're also advising that intra-episode recaps occur every 45 seconds," he added.
As usual,
The Onion would be much funnier if it weren't so damn realistic, and in this case, probable.