Posted 12/18/2005 06:16:00 PM by Douglas

The United States Army, in the 21^st century, hard at work to be as politically correct as possible in Iraq.

We are now required by our Brigade (a decision made much higher than my commander’s sphere of influence) to carry a “rape whistle” at all times. It is my understanding that the original intent was to give them to the females on post, but it was eventually decided that if the ladies have to carry them then the dudes must also.

I must admit that I am unconvinced of the effectiveness of this new order. On the off chance that I’m marked as a target for rape or assault I very much doubt that I would need a measly whistle to get the attention of others. I’m willing to bet that the sound of the first ten rounds I put through the guy with my rifle will peak the interest of anyone nearby. If a high powered sniper rifle doesn’t do the trick then I’m skeptical that the rape whistle will. Likewise, every soldier on this base is required to carry a firearm with them at all times. I guess that in case our assorted guns, knives and grenades don’t do the trick then the whistle is a nice last resort.

I'm sure this decision makes sense to someone in command. Forget the whistle. Rapist? Meet Mr. Beretta. Mr. Beretta? Double-tap Mr. Rapist, once in the chest and once in the face.