Posted 1/13/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Sometime I read articles about stupid government programs wasting money and I just shake my head, make my pithy little comments as I post the link here, and go about my day. But something about the following story has got even the blog scratching its head. How could anyone be this stupid? Anyway, I noted some time ago that one of the greatest threats to drivers on the high plains of the Texas panhandle were errant trees littering the Texas roadway and jumping out in front of even the most careful of drivers. Well, it looks like the good folks at TxDoT have finally cemented a plan to deal with the most heinous threats to the safety to those traveling the highways of the panhandle: TREES! I'm sure there's a corollary in there for "fear of the unknown", but I'll skip that part for now.

Scattered stands of Siberian elms, hackberry trees and towering cottonwoods crop up every few miles along the rural roads that wind throughout the Texas Panhandle.

To Panhandle residents, they're precious islands of nature's beauty in a sea of brushy scrub and brown grasslands. But state highway officials envision errant motorists careening off the highway and deadly accidents that don't need to happen.

About two years ago, the Texas Department of Transportation unveiled a controversial plan to cut down 1,185 trees along roadways in Hemphill, Roberts, Lipscomb, Ochiltree and Gray counties to improve highway safety. But the plan quickly drew a firestorm of criticism from tree lovers across the region.

Now, TxDoT officials plan to meet with concerned residents in the next month or so and finalize a whittled-down, compromise plan that would add highway safety improvements and cut down only 115 trees.

Paul Braun, a TxDoT spokesman, said tree elimination is just one part of a much larger project aimed at keeping motorists safe. The original project cost was about $840,000, but costs could change after the meeting, he said.

Well I guess that's a start. 1,070 trees in the otherwise treeless desert of the high plains got a stay of execution. Anyone want to give me odds on the total cost actually going down after the meeting? But that's not all we're getting for the better part of a million dollars is it?

"The tree part is not the biggest part of this project. A very big part of this project is redoing some very steep slopes that are along these roadways, making them more gradual, and taking care of some other obstacles like box culverts and so forth that need to be redone," Braun said. "Trees are just one part of this hazard elimination project, but it's the part that got the most attention."

Gee, I can't imagine why spending TxDoT money to remove trees growing by the side of the road would get so much attention. Have these idiots ever been to Lufkin, Nacogdoches, Carthage or Diboll? The Piney Woods of East Texas are (surprise!) crawling with [gasp!] TREES! Big, evil trees that given then chance, would kill you and everyone you care about!!!

I sure hope the idiots in the Amarillo TxDoT office don't make a trip to East Texas, because I'm quite confident that there aren't enough chain saws in the state to make the winding rural roads of the Piney Woods safe for moronic panhandle drivers.