Posted
3/14/2006 05:04:00 PM
by Douglas
As a recurring somnambulist, I find the reaction to this drug particularly
intriguing. The sleeping pill Ambien seems to unlock a primitive desire to eat in some patients, according to emerging medical case studies that describe how the drug's users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands.
The next morning, the night eaters remember nothing about their foraging. But they wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter, Tostitos in their beds, kitchen counters overflowing with flour, missing food, and even lighted ovens and stoves. Some are so embarrassed, they delay telling anyone, even as they gain weight.
Well, there's the common theme in somnambulism: embarrassment. Whether you're finishing off a bag of Doritos or trying to fit your pillow in the dish washer, once you get called on the inevitable question of "what in the hell are you doing," you never have an answer that satisfies not only the person asking, but yourself, either. You're in the back seat, along for the ride.
This may be a stretch, but hey, he got off. Twice. But only in Canada.