Posted 3/05/2006 04:49:00 PM by Douglas

Oscar picks. All I can say is 'meh, who cares.' Most of these movies I'd only watch if they came on cable on cable on a Saturday afternoon and I had a broken leg. Syriana was good, but no one is going to go see that one that doesn't already know what's going on over there. Crash wasn't so much a film as it was an educational video to teach Jr. High students about racial stereotypes. Retarded Jr. High kids, that is. Ok, we get it. Do you have to beat us over the head for 90 minutes about how dumb racism is? Good Night and Good Luck might be worth the DVD (from Netflix) to see how Clooney is using his fame as a platform to show, like, McCarthy was like, bad, man, and how Bush is like McCarthy, man. But to truly comprehend the subtle nuances of that connection I think I'll have to drink several shots of bong water, and I'm just not up for that kind of commitment. Oddly enough, I kinda hope that Larry wins the writing award for that gay cowboy movie. I like Larry, and an Oscar would instantly up his street cred on the mean streets of Archer City. He should have got an Oscar 35 years ago for nailin' Cybil Shepard while making The Last Picture Show.

The only real wild card in all of this is Jon Stewart. He's funny, and incredibly quick on his feet, even without writers. I just hope he can stay far enough away from the self-deprecating Jew schtick he seems to always resort to.

All in all, a pretty much perfect waste of a Sunday evening, so sit back, enjoy a delicious frosty beverage of your choice, and enjoy the pinnacle that is the trainwreck of American civilization: Celebrity worship.