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Sunday, June 11, 2006

Posted 6/11/2006 02:58:00 PM by Douglas

Observations of strange product description: Windshield washer fluid:


Aside from feeling pretty silly about buying a gallon of smurf piss for your car, I must admit my expectations for this product were pretty low. In fact, I probably wouldn't even give it another thought until I was driving eastwards in the early morning hours and lose the ability to see the car in front of me. That's when I'd remember that I spent $1.07 on this mystery liquid that scrubs the mud off my windshield.

So. . . imagine my amazement when I read the miraculous qualities of this magic elixir:

  • Cuts Road Film and Bugs
  • Protects to 32ºF Above Zero
By "cuts road film" I assume this means it cleans my windshield, as opposed to editing a Bob Hope & Bing Crosby movie. But it's the other quality that got my attention. First off, having a precursory comprehension of the number line, isn't 32 understood to be a positive number, and thus above zero? But the real question is what does it protect from? Aside from cleaning my window, the only thing I require of this product is that it doesn't burst the reservoir should Hell Houston freeze over. But the last time I checked, water doesn't freeze until it gets 32ºF or lower. So is this telling me it's safe from freezing as long as it stays above 32ºF?

Thanks guys. You thought of everything!


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