Posted 8/03/2006 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

Remember the good old days, when Billions of dollars were being spent on nuclear weapons that criss-crossed the continent, ensuring a nuclear target was no more than 500 miles from every American citizen? Yeah, me neither, but apparently some folks get nostalgic when it comes to old nuclear trains.

The train, operated by the Energy Department's Office of Secure Transportation, shipped nuclear warheads assembled at Pantex to military weapons depots across the country. From 1951 to 1987, the government shipped Navy nuclear weapons by rail to protect the deadly cargo inside and because it was easier than trucking them.

Originally, the cars were painted white to protect weapons against the sun's heat. Later, the DOE painted the train in different color schemes to thwart possible attacks and unwanted protests. Eventually, the government began using armored tractor-trailer rigs, or safe-secure transports, to ship weapons and weapons components from weapons plants to U.S. military bases.

So we're preserving an old train because it once carried nuclear weapons? The obvious question is lost on these people, but I'm going to go ahead and ask. . . why?

Bob Roth, president of the Amarillo Railroad Museum, said Pantex planned to rip up some railroad tracks and museum officials inquired about several cars that stood idle on the southwest corner of the 16,000-acre plant site. Museum officials then hammered out a partnership with the Pantex Site Office, BWXT Pantex and Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroad, which moved the train from Pantex and opened up a closed rail spur to the museum's tracks.

Again, why? Are the guys that worked on the nukes and the old protesters going to go to Denny's for a grand slam and talk about old times?

The museum, located at 13000 E. U.S. Highway 60, plans to exhibit the cars next to another piece of historical Panhandle railroad history, a specialized railcar that once hauled helium across the country.

Shit, Ethyl, I hope we can get tickets to that! That train used to carry helium! After we see that, it's just 833 miles to the biggest ball of twine west of the Mississippi!!

Roth said the museum's goal is to preserve railroad cars that have a historic Panhandle link.

"Some of this equipment is, in a way, unique to the Texas Panhandle," Roth said. "The DOE train fits right into that scheme because it is unique to the Panhandle, having come out of Pantex."

The museum's train, Roth said, has the last remaining safe-secure railcar, a red, heavily armored car that transported warheads.

Several other cars are called power-buffer cars because they contained generators and provided a buffer between escort crews and warheads.

"People could not ride in a car immediately adjacent to explosives," Roth said.

Seriously, if you can't sit in the same car where the nukes used to sit, what's the point? Why would I want to go see a nuke train if I can't alter my genetic material with gamma rays? PanTex Site Office Manager, drive it home for us:

The cars played a major role in Pantex's history, said Pantex Site Office Manager Dan Glenn.

"The work done at Pantex was a significant part of the Cold War," he said. "This donation will provide the public with the opportunity to visit a piece of our nation's recent history."

Gather 'round, kids, and learn how this 18th century technology assisted in perpetrating the myth of deterrence while ensuring successive administrations continued first-strike options of mutually assured destruction would enable a bunch dirt-munching cave-dwellers to attack us with our own planes.

Where's the gift shop?