Posted 9/18/2006 10:46:00 AM by Douglas

Garrison Keillor once again nails it.

The way to stop terrorists on planes is to encourage passengers to bring loaded firearms aboard: guys in orange vests sitting in exit rows with deer rifles on their laps, ladies with Mr. Colt in their purses, kids with peashooters. Somebody wake up the NRA. Does the Second Amendment say ''The right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed except on commercial airliners''? Where is the right wing when you really need them?

Yeah, that's never going to happen, but it's fun to think about, isn't it? One long-time reader even suggested using handguns as boarding passes, making them mandatory for everyone on the flight. That might make the air-waitress a little more speedy to get me my peanuts.

It all began with the name Homeland Security. Somebody with a tin ear came up with that, maybe the pest exterminator from Texas, or Admiral Poinduster, because, friends, Americans don't refer to this as our homeland. It's an alien term, like Fatherland or Deutschland or Tomorrowland.

Irving Berlin didn't write ''God Bless Our Homeland.'' You never heard John Wayne say, ''Men, we're going over that hill and we're going to kick those krauts out of there. And we're going to raise the flag of the homeland.''

That's always bothered me, too, but then again, there was a time when political leaders show-boating in military uniforms was reserved for third-world dictators, too.

Garrison, bring it home:

It's all fine with me. I'm a liberal and we love ridiculous government programs that intrude on personal freedom. But where are the conservatives who used to object to this sort of thing?

Thank you. Can't I be a right-wing extremist and disapprove of what Bush is doing?