Posted 10/12/2006 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

"That damn marijuana."

Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of marijuana plants 10 feet tall.

General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.

So does every VW Beatle in Austin. . . . .

"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices.

Have you tried a Bic lighter? I knew a guy in college that had moderate success with one of those, and they're 99¢ at any gas station.

"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

Again, I knew a guy in college named Ed that could make short work of this problem. Check any thrift store in Austin and I'll be anyone inside will know how to deal with this. But what about the ones that did burn?

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those [forests] did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hiller said dryly.

"Ill effects?" The munchies with only MREs available? There are ill effects from weed now? I mean other than enjoying the comedy of Carlos Mencia. Bring it home, 'one soldier:'

One soldier told him later: "Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana'."

Somehow, deep down, I don't think weed is Afghanistan's biggest drug problem.