Posted 11/26/2006 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Whod'a thunk that going out on Saturday night would be so complex.

It’s a night that people accustomed to quoting Andy Warhol or Diddy may summarize by invoking another New York luminary: Yogi Berra, who said, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”

What a great line. But it gets more complicated when talking about elitists New Yorkers that don't realize that the line is satire, and that they may run into people in public that aren't nearly as cool as they are. GASP!

“In the old days, Saturday was the destination night for chic New Yorkers headed to Studio 54 at its most resplendent,” Mr. Musto said in an e-mail message. “But things changed as more and more tri-staters were willing to use the bridges and tunnels for here-we-come Gotham weekends, so the locals started staying home and triple-bolting their doors as if in a George Romero film.”

Oh My God! All this in the same city as the U.N. Imagine the carnage?!? You have to stay home one night a week to avoid someone from Jersey because he's more annoying than you are, or at the very least, annoying in a different way. Did America lose a war or something? It gets worse:

Last Saturday, four Manhattanites in their early 30s were huddling over a low table downstairs at Buddakan, the cavernous pan-Asian restaurant in the meatpacking district. “During the weekends, you get a lot of clutter, if you will,” said Brian Kirimdar, 30, an investment banker. He and his wife, Ashley, tend to hide out in restaurants on Saturdays, avoiding all but a few of the Chelsea clubs. “You don’t find too many bridge-and-tunnel people at Cielo or Marquee,” he said. “You really have to pick and choose.”

Yeah, you really gotta pick and chose, Brian and Ashley. You gotta find the "few" restaurants and clubs where you can find human beings and not the arrogant assholes that are overwhelmingly convinced of their own self-importance.