Posted 1/11/2007 05:52:00 PM by Douglas

That's one giant pussy:

Here, KITTY KITTY KITTY. Goliath, a 20-pound stray whose girth got him stuck in a pet door while trying to plunder some dog food, is back with his owner.

His name isn't really Goliath, but it's close. It's Hercules, says owner Geoff Ernest, who was reunited with his tubby tabby Thursday at the Oregon Humane Society.

Gresham resident Jadwiga Drozdek found the feline stuck in the dog door of her home a few days ago, helped free him and gave him a plate of food on her patio.

Just what he needs. Food.

While at the Humane Society, Hercules was diagnosed with Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, similar to HIV in humans.

That's gotta be an awkward moment with the pet-sitter. "My cat didn't have AIDS when I left. . . . what the hell did you do?!?

Hercules reminds me of the second fattest cat I've ever seen. Diana:

Yeah, that's a sloppy MSPaint copy/paste of a picture, but I don't care. Maybe my granny didn't want to look like a flagrant dumbass as the vet tech does in the above picture with Goliath? Who knows, but I'm just tired enough not to care. So screw you, Nobel academy (because I know you're a frequent reader.)