Posted 3/15/2007 10:17:00 PM by Douglas

So I'm in a nationally franchised fast-food sandwich establishment named for a particular mass transit system that's virtually unknown to the majority of Americans. I step up to pay for my sandwich when I'm asked if I would "like to make it a meal" with the additional purchase of chips and a drink. I still don't understand what part of the empty calories of potato chips and a coke make a sandwich a "meal", but I was in the mood for some carbonated corn syrup, so I reply, "just give me a small drink." Her answer really surprised me.

"We don't have small."

"Ok, what do you have," I asked, as I glanced down at three differently sized cups that were no less than six inches from where my gaping stare lie fixed on her confused, vacuous face.

"We have medium, large and extra-large."

Ok, whatever, I know I’m not going to get anywhere with this one, but as she was ringing me out I point to the smallest of the three cups and say "so I guess this is the small now, since you still have three and this one is the smallest, right?"

"No, the small we used to have was smaller than that."

"But you don't have it anymore, right?

"Huh?"

Everyone is entitled to their own personal Spinal Tap moment, because in this girl's mind, that extra-large cup went to eleven.