Posted 6/04/2007 05:55:00 PM by Douglas

My new favourite humor/news site: Arkansas Democrat Gazette. First, there's this juicy take at a booor-ing story about the Republican party in Arkansas:

“At the end of the day, I believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001 ], and the naysayers will come around very quickly to appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country,” Milligan said.

Wow, that'll show 'em! Another attack and 3,000 dead Americans! Ya know, I think I still have to disagree with him on this one, but I have to respect a country that lets even the most rabid of Kool-Aid drinkers off the compound long enough to make a press statement. Then there's this one from April:

You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two. This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they ? Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.

CONNIE M. MESKIMEN / Hot Springs

What?!? This one is so mind-numbingly stupid, you think it has to be a joke. This one is Onion.com material, and the ADG editor tries his best to play it off:

It was wholly a pleasure to hear from a fellow editorial writer in beautiful North Carolina, and learn that one of our letters to the editor was being circulated all over the worldwide net. I’d gathered as much from the flood of e-mails asking if the letter was for real. I only wish our editorials were as popular, but right now we’re just trying to expand our circulation in growing metropolitan areas here in Arkansas like Hogeye, Smackover, and Standard Umpstead.

[. . .]

I’ve lost count by now of the ohso-serious inquiries from graduate students and members of science faculties, including one or two at Ivy League universities, who have asked whether the letter writer was serious. These people wouldn’t be able to detect satire if it showed up under their microscopes. Then there were the folks here in Arkansas, image-conscious as ever, who were infuriated that we’d dared publish the letter, fearing it would leave the impression that Arkansas is full of scientific ignoramuses. As opposed, I guess, to literal-minded, sober-sided, absolutely humorless scientific twits.

Earnestly as ever,

Inky Wretch
Paul Greenberg is editorial page editor of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

Well Paul, maybe I'd feel better about taking you in earnest if there weren't so many typos in your response.

Is it real? Is it fake? Who cares, it's funny, and what's more, it's credible. If the short-sighted Al Goreites were as quick to research the science as they are to devise their "hey hey, ho ho" chants or to sign a petition, it might be more obvious to tell when they're joking.

After all, this is Arkansas we're talking about.