Posted 1/12/2008 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

I generally consider class-action suits an outlet for whiners. You weren't really wronged, but you want "in on" the settlement knowing full well that the only ones that are going to make any money off the deal are the lawyers. But when there's a class-action suite against someone I think is truly evil, I'm going to have to jump on it.

If you bought a diamond or a piece of diamond jewelry between 1994 and March 2006, you could be eligible for a share of a $295 million class action lawsuit settlement with South Africa's De Beers Group, the world's largest diamond producer.

The settlement, which stems from accusations of price fixing, is limited to purchases made in the United States. The court set aside about $135 million for consumers.

That sounds about right: less than half of the settlement goes to the consumers that were allegedly wronged.

The series of lawsuits across the country were certified as a class action by a federal court in New Jersey. The lawsuits accuse De Beers of conspiring to fix, raise and control the price of rough gem diamonds. A settlement was reached in 2005.

Well no shit. DeBeers has perpetrated the biggest swindle on the American people in the 20th century. Diamonds aren't rare in gemological terms, nor are they that pretty, when compared to an actual gemstone. Yet their remarkable ad campaign has convinced two continents (and they're making ground in Asia, too) that you can't consummate a marriage without one. So I'll give kudos to their marketing department, but for the rest of their cartel, I say fuck 'em. Get your paper-work in before May 19, 2008. And if you're lucky enough to actually get any money out of the settlement, you can send to one of thousands of poor African girls that now has two stumps where her hands used to be because she wasn't digging fast enough in a riverbed in Sierra Leone. But enjoy your shiny little rock, idiots.