Posted 11/07/2008 03:58:00 PM by Douglas

I never would have thought about a news story that involved "Dolly Parton" and "broad-band" could ever come out like this.

Tuesday marks the end of a battle that has lasted for more than two years, with each side predicting apocalyptic consequences should it lose.

Not the fight for the presidency — the one pitting Google against Dolly Parton.

The titan of Silicon Valley and the queen of country are two of the many combatants in a high-tech dispute over precious slices of the nation’s airwaves. The issue comes to a head on Election Day, when the Federal Communications Commission votes on a proposal to make a disputed chunk of radio spectrum available for public use.

Google, Microsoft, Hewlett-Packard and other technology companies say the spectrum could be used by a whole new array of Internet-connected wireless gadgets. They say freeing it up would encourage innovation and investment in much the same way that the spread of Wi-Fi technology has. (This would generate more business for tech companies.)

But a coalition of old-guard media — from television networks to Broadway producers — is objecting to the proposal, saying it needs a closer look. The opponents argue that signals sent over those frequencies could interfere with broadcasts and wireless microphones at live productions.

Go get 'em, Dolly!

If the spectrum is set free, Ms. Parton says, chaos could reign on Broadway — in the form of static and other interference.

“The potential direct negative impact on countless people may be immeasurable,” Ms. Parton wrote in a letter last month to the F.C.C., urging it not to release the frequencies.

Come on, Dolly. When the evil Mr. Hart tried to oppress the secretarial pool in Nine to Five, did you write a letter? No! You smoked some weed and imprisoned him in his bedroom for six weeks, all the while singing about it. And when the mean old sheriff tried to shut down the Chicken Ranch in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, did you write a letter? NO! You gave a busload of Aggies a shag on the house, all the while singing about it.

I can't believe I'm the one that has to tell Dolly Parton to use her assets.