Posted 11/06/2008 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

It's official: People from Oregon are complete idiots.

Wind turbines are the hottest rage in 'going green' but the technology has a dangerous side for endangered salmon in the Columbia River.

No one is saying wind power is bad by any stretch - it will play a huge role in producing sustainable, green energy.

Obviously they don't read this crappy blog. Also, you can tell from the second sentence that this article was written by someone with barely an 8th grade education.

You see, when the wind is really blowing and the farms are operating at maximum capacity, the present system will not be able to handle all of that electricity, which ultimately affects fish.

You see, wait, what? Got any papers, dude? Are we going to electrocute some fish, dude?

This isn't just a theory - it actually happened recently. At the end of June, there was an unexpected surge in wind power and too much energy was created for the regional grid to handle. To compensate, the dams cut their power by spilling more water.

So, like, when the wind is, like, really windy, the turbines make so much power the cords can't transfer all its juice to my lava lamp and Pink Floyd CD? That's a lot of wind, dude. But spilling water over a damn isn't bad, is it?

Spilling more water is dangerous for fish because water plunging from the dams into the river becomes saturated with air.

What? What's the problem? My goldfish need a pump to get air. My Phish LP likes air. What's the problem?

Air is mostly nitrogen and salmon do not like nitrogen saturation.

Aww man, I forgot about that. The central tenant of renewable energy: Fish don't like nitrogen. Friggin' fish, always screwing it up for the rest of us.

Hey man, pass the funyions.