Posted 11/08/2008 02:44:00 PM by Douglas

The OED lists their top ten annoying phrases.

The phrases appear in a book called Damp Squid, named after the mistake of confusing a squid with a squib, a type of firework.

The researchers who compiled the list monitor the use of phrases in a database called the Oxford University Corpus, which comprises books, papers, magazines, broadcast, the internet and other sources.

The database alerts them to new words and phrases and can tell them which expressions are disappearing. It also shows how words are being misused.

And because I'm bored and the Horns are beating the crap out of Baylor (suck it, squirrel!) I thought I make my own list of shit that I hear all the time that pisses me off. Here we go, in no particular order:

• My bad. In the early 90s, I thought this was just something that stupid rednecks in my hometown said. Boy was I wrong, and it just won't die.
• Asian. I have no problem with Asia, per se, but why do people use Asian when they mean Oriental? "The Orient" is a fairly descriptive term to denote a region, food, people and culture. "Asian" encompasses everything from Vietnam to Russia, from Mongolia to Turkey. Why use a less descriptive term?
• Supposebly. This is just retarded, yet I hear it all the time, by adults (a-dolts?) that are supposebly educated. If they only knew how stupid they sounded.
• Amazing. Do the people, generally under 25 years old, realize it deflates the meaning of this superlative when they use it to describe not only the second coming of Christ, but also fat-free yogurt?
• It is what it is. Of course it is, jackass, what else would it be? This phrase is the verbal equivalent of abject silence, so just shut up next time.
• Wal-Marts. Gonna go down to the Wal-Marts. Well which one? This one is kind of funny, actually.
• Itself. I know dumb people use more words when they want to sound less stupid, but this one has got to go. Normally found at the end of spoken sentences, people think it lends credence to their point itself. It doesn't.
• PIN number. Or VIN number, or ATM machine. Why the hell bother making an acronym (or initialism) out of it if you're still going to use the word? I actually heard someone use the term "Personal PIN Number" once.
• If you will. Why give the other party in the conversation veto power to the silly crap you're espousing? Every time I hear it, I immediately say "nope, I'm not going to this time," which is usually followed by a blank stare, not unlike a dog that's been shown a card trick.
• Literally. This word doesn't mean what most people think it means. Literally. I read a story about subprime mortgages "picking up people by their ankles and literally shaking money out of their pockets." Really? I'd like to see that. Literally.

That's enough of that crap, and the game's over, anyway. Now if only Alabama and Tech would lose, it'll be a great day!