Posted 1/25/2009 03:50:00 PM by Douglas

I received The University of Texas version of Monopoly for Christmas last year and I just now got around to wondering how they laid Austin around the original game board. I didn't make it too far past "Go" before my delicate Longhorn sensibilities were offended. Look what took the place of Baltic Avenue:

What the hell? Jester is the Baltic Avenue of the Texasopoly world? Of all the festering shit-holes in Austin, Jester is the second crappiest piece of property in Texasopoly? What about this virgin vault, or this monument to daddy's money? There was always more vomit and urine in a Dobie elevator on a Saturday morning than at Jester.

I suppose it upsets me when people pick on Jester because it holds a dear place in my heart. I suppose moving into a dorm with the same population as the entire county where I grew up, it was a bit of culture shock to see that everyone you met was trying to get drunk/laid, too. I just don't know why it gets such a bad rap. Look what got the Baltic Avenue spot on the Simpson's Monopoly version:

Cletus' shack? Come on, Jester is a lot better than Cletus's shack. It's gotta be at least worth as much as Barney's Bowl-A-Rama.