Posted 4/29/2009 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

P.J. O'Rourke is consistently funny, even if he's not consistently right. Take his latest jab:

It's going to be hard to do a worse job running America than the Republicans did, but the Democrats can do it if anyone can.

The Left is the party of government activism - the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, slimmer, taller, and take a dozen strokes off your golf game.

The Right is the party that says government doesn't work. And then they get elected and prove it.

Were it only true. Were it only the case that the Republicans wanted less government. That's a nice sound-bite, but it's total horse shit. Then there's this:

America needed a Republican president. Because America has a Democratic congress. Republican president, Democratic congress - this means gridlock. I love gridlock.

The worst thing in politics is ''bipartisan consensus.'' Bipartisan consensus - that's like when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help.

Ha! Wait, what? A Republican White House and Congress under Bush changed virtually nothing about how the federal government redistributes people's money (their one true job). So honestly, what difference does it make? Can you make me laugh now?

When charming leftists stick their nose into things they don't understand they become ratchet-jawed purveyors of monkey-doodle and baked wind. They are piddlers upon merit, beggars at the door of accomplishment, thieves of livelihood, envy coddling tax lice applauding themselves for giving away other people's money.

Ok, I like that part. There's nothing compassionate about giving away someone else's money. But let's finish on a high note, P.J. How 'bout foreign policy?

So far, the best Obama has been able to do by way of an Iraq policy is to make what I think of as the ''high school sex promise:'' I'll pull out in time, honest, Honey.''

I love it. Does this mean Iraq is pregnant?

Labels: P.J. O'Rourke