Posted 6/07/2009 04:31:00 PM by Douglas

P.J. O’Rourke, hilariously, on the death of the American automobile. Or more specifically, the love affair with the American automobile.

Four things greater than all things are,—Women and Horses and Power and War.

But what happened?

The car ceased to be object of desire and equipment for adventure and turned into office, rec room, communications hub, breakfast nook and recycling bin—a motorized cup holder.

Yep. $4 a gallon gas makes you feel bad about spinning the tires, but do you really want to anyway? The cart guys at Kroger look at you like you're an idiot. I especially like his take about how impossible new cars are to repair, and how damn naggy they are:

One might as well pry the back off an iPod as pop the hood on a contemporary motor vehicle. An aging shade-tree mechanic like myself stares aghast and sits back down in the shade. Or would if the car weren’t squawking at me like a rehearsal for divorce. You left the key in. You left the door open. You left the lights on. You left your dirty socks in the middle of the bedroom floor.

So we want boring, and Detroit is happy to ablige. The sadder part? Japan does it better, anyway:

And there’s the end of the American automobile industry. When it comes to dull, practical, ugly things that bore and annoy me, Japanese things cost less and the cup holders are more conveniently located.

I remember a Mercedes commercial from about 20 years ago: the whole point: "People don't get their pictures made with their toasters and washing machines." I wonder if people who drive Toyota Camry or Honda Civics get their pictures made with them? And why?

Labels: P.J. O'Rourke