Posted 9/09/2010 06:59:00 PM by Douglas

I couldn't decide which headline to go with on this one, so you'll just have to pick one.

• If you don't quit reading that magazine you're going to go blind!
• I guess these guys really do read it for the articles!
• Did you hear the set of juggs on Miss October?
• Wow, even when read by a woman, that interview with Lorne Michaels is really boring.
• Our Unabashed Dictionary lists "Braille porn" as 'bumping your rocks off.'

Oh well:

Each week, for an hour, Hanks snuggles close to a microphone in a tiny soundproof closet, reading — and describing in great detail — portions of the latest Playboy issue for the blind.

"I don't have to try to read it sexy," laughs Hanks, one of about 200 volunteers at Houston-based Taping For The Blind, Inc. "I just read it, and I'm a woman, and that's pretty much sexy."

Hanks, a tall, blonde California native whose regular job is reading the news for a classic rock station in Houston, declined to disclose her age, but said she once "chickened out" of an offer to pose for Playboy for a feature on women in radio.

Well god bless 'em for showing up. Then there's this:

Hanks examines in great detail the magazine's trademark monthly centerfold subject. The picture becomes clear.

She is a "Latina, brunette with dark chocolate brown eyes. She has long curly brown hair. ... She is in the first photo sitting in the ocean.

"She has a very large grin on her face, pink lipstick. She has a small tattoo right over the small of her back over the dimple area that appears to be maybe some sort of tribal design. It is red. ... Her legs are kind of crossed. She is sitting in the water.

"Behind her shoulder, down past her arm, you can see her breast peeking out. ... There are no tan lines at all. She is not wearing any nail polish or jewelry or bathing suit or anything."

Asked later why she mentions nail polish, she replied: "Sometimes it's all they have on."

Ha! Still, I think it's funnier when SNL did this with Moses almost 20 years ago: