Posted 1/19/2012 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Presidential politics always makes for strange bedfellows, but you never know how strange 'till you get closer to the elections. Yeah, I know that Newt's second ex-wife made a "big" announcement today that he wanted, what they call nowadays, an "open" marriage. He wanted to be a swinger. . . . as in, to swing! Maybe I've seen Raising Arizona one too many times. Who am I kidding, I've seen it 100 too many times, but that's not important right now, neither is Newt's swinging. No, what's remarkable about that lede is that the new one, mistress #2 was presumably willing to go along with it. After all, he converted from Baptist to Catholic when he married her. As Redd Foxx said, "Now you know that's some mean pussy to make a man change gods." But again, I digress.

The interesting part about how much Newt loves the country is wife #1. It was his high school geometry teacher. That's just weird.

In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher, when he was 19 years old and she was 26.

I'm sure he denies it, but the rumor mill is full of those that say the romance began while he was still a student. Even if that never happened, marrying your math teacher that's seven years older than you when you're 19 is a little too Mary Kay Letourneau to be considered presidential.

But the real January surprise came from the Santorum camp. After a little googling, and some hand sanitizer, you can find some interesting nuggets of fun on his wife, the one and only Mrs. Rick Santorum. Turns out, Mr. "I'm so pro-life I'll kill you's" wife had a relationship with a ob/gyn 40 some odd her senior. That's not too weird, in the general scheme of things, and I'm reticent to label him an "abortionist," in that as an ob/gyn, the procedure is medical and not always political. So you should give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. No, the weird part is that as an ob/gyn, he delivered her.

The wife of fiercely pro-life presidential hopeful Rick Santorum had a six-year love affair with an abortion doctor, 40 years her senior - who, incredibly, delivered her as a baby - it has emerged.

That's just wacky. How does that even come up? That's gotta be one awkward question to break the ice with.