Posted 7/27/2012 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

It’s lovely to see when the compassionate side of the political spectrum takes the high road, isn’t it?

"We're taking bets (place yours in the comments section below) on how long it will take Sen. Grassley to succumb to heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or some other meat-related disease," the post said.

New flash, grass munchers: this isn’t a zero-sum game. Just because you chose not to eat meat and live longer, pointless lives, does NOT mean that meat eaters are doing so because they want to die early. they want to die early because they’re just so tired of listening to you whine. OK, my burger is killing the planet, I know. . .can I just eat it and peace and not listen to your mono-tone drivel for a few minutes? But it gets better:

"One simple way to reduce your environmental impact while dining at our cafeterias is to participate in the "Meatless Monday" initiative," the USDA newsletter said. "This international effort, as the name implies, encourages people not to eat meat on Mondays.

"How will going meatless one day of the week help the environment? The production of meat, especially beef (and dairy as well), has a large environmental impact. According to the U.N., animal agriculture is a major source of greenhouse gases and climate change. It also wastes resources."

Here’s another New flash: The absolute best way to “reduce your environmental impact?” They only way that’s really effective, actually: KILL YOURSELF. Your very existence on this planet, even if you sustain yourself in a 4X10 foot veal pen and eat nothing but soy slurry and bathe in your own urine, guess what? By your definition, THE PLANET IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU. So why wait?