Posted 4/17/2007 05:57:00 PM by Douglas

I started this blog over five years ago with one simple goal: to force a paradigm shift in American journalism, thus securing the continued and future financial success for my family for years to come. After I sobered up, I decided to post random crap I find on the internet along with hysterical rants that those around me have become bored with. Five years later, this is my 3,000th post. Hard to imagine I actually believed that on 3,000 separate occasions, anyone gave a shit what I think about electric cars. Even more hard to believe is that almost 40,000 people, through no fault of their own, have clicked on this site. In their defense, most of them were looking for pr0n. So in keeping with my tradition of pointless milestones, I thought I'd compile something meaningful. But since I'm apparently incapable, here's a list of crap. Some of it's actually true.

• I once met Dan Aykroyd at the 6th floor Museum in Dallas
  
• I've been forcibly ejected from more than one keroke bar for singing louder than the person with the microphone
• To this day, I'm still ridiculed by my family for naming my childhood dog after myself
• I don't believe in the existence of Delaware
• When are we as a society going to develop another name for unsalted saltines?
• The teapot dome scandal was not the beginning of the decline of Harding's control of his administration
• My brother can eat his own weight in okra
• In 6th grade I won an essay contest and got to ride on a wagon train
• I've been rejected for Mensa, Jeopardy, and my local chapter of the Junior League
• Cucumbers taste better pickled. Deal with it, cucumbers
• I've taken a course taught by the inventor of the Lithium-Ion battery
• Tarantino loosely based the character of Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs on a conversation we had at a Denver Waffle House
• I know π to 11 decimal places

And it goes on like this. . .

I might add to this later, but for now, this is it. Thanks for stopping by, and by all means, send me an email to tell me how nuts I am.

Labels: 3000th post, pointless milestone