Posted 9/30/2007 02:20:00 PM by Douglas

MicroSoft Vista: why?

Responding to some customers' lukewarm embrace of Windows Vista, Microsoft said it will extend by several months availability of the operating system's predecessor, Windows XP.

The company said it will make the full version of Windows XP available to PC manufacturers and retailers through June 30, 2008. It will continue to offer a basic edition in emerging markets through June 2010.

Microsoft introduced Windows XP in late 2001. The company ordinarily makes operating systems available only for four years after launch date. But delays in producing Windows Vista, which debuted in January, forced Microsoft to continue selling Windows XP longer than planned.

In recent months, Microsoft had pegged Windows XP's official expiration date at Jan. 30. That will fall by the wayside in favor of the new dates, Microsoft said Thursday.

Microsoft's official explanation for the move is that too many customers have yet to complete the transition from Windows XP to Windows Vista. "There are some customers who need a little more time to make the switch," said Mike Nash, Microsoft's Windows product manager, in a statement posted on the company's Web site.

Well if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Why would you want to get a machine that requires 2Gb of ram just to run the OS that won't run your old non-MS software?

Despite such troubling signals from the market, Nash insists that Microsoft doesn't believe Windows Vista is destined to become the tech industry's version of the Ford Edsel. "Windows Vista is on track to be the fastest-selling operating system in Microsoft's history," Nash said.

I guess his first press release of "it's crap and no one wants it" didn't fly too well.

Posted 9/29/2007 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

You might think the legal system of this country would frown on public schools strip-searching adolescent girls because other students reported she had Advil, but you'd be wrong.

Safford Middle School officials did not violate the civil rights of a 13-year-old Safford girl when they forced her to disrobe and expose her breasts and pubic area four years ago while looking for a drug, according to the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruling.

The justices voted 2-1 in favor of the Safford School District on Sept. 21. The decision upheld a federal district court's summary judgment that Safford Middle School Vice Principal Kerry Wilson, school nurse Peggy Schwallier and administrative assistant Helen Romero did not violate the girl's Fourth Amendment rights on Oct. 8, 2003, when they subjected her to a strip search in an effort to find Ibuprofen

So it's come to this? We've become so dumbstruck by our idiotic drug war that public school dictators can strip search children because they brought a freakin' aspirin to school?

Posted 9/29/2007 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

Jenna Bush wrote a book? Jenna Bush wrote a book?

Jenna Bush looked poised as she stepped to the podium, but she couldn't quite hide the butterflies as she stood before an eager bookstore crowd Saturday to introduce her new book, "Ana's Story: A Journey of Hope."

"This is my first day, so I'm a little nervous," the 25-year-old first daughter admitted.

Her face lit up, though, as soon as she started talking about the subject of her nonfiction narrative — a teenage mother with HIV whom she met during an internship with UNICEF in Latin America.

Spoiler alert: All the pictures are already colored in.

Posted 9/29/2007 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

The worst part of the flesh eating amoebas? Finding out after it's eaten half your brain that it's not covered under your insurance.

It sounds like science fiction but it's true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die.

Even though encounters with the microscopic bug are extraordinarily rare, it's killed six boys and young men this year. The spike in cases has health officials concerned, and they are predicting more cases in the future.

"This is definitely something we need to track," said Michael Beach, a specialist in recreational waterborne illnesses for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Still, doesn't sound nearly as painful as your average Kevin Smith movie.

Posted 9/29/2007 05:02:00 PM by Douglas

How much sub-prime lending did your bank sink your money into? Might wanna find out.

NetBank Inc., an online bank with $2.5 billion in assets, was shut down by the government on Friday because of an excessive level of mortgage defaults.

It was the largest savings and loan failure since the tail end of the industry's crisis more than 14 years ago. Federal regulators appointed the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. as a receiver for Alpharetta, Ga.-based NetBank.

Looks like it's time to start investing in metals. Like steel, brass and lead.

Posted 9/27/2007 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

I'm relieved to know that's it still illegal to chase someone down from the freeway and open fire on their vehicle, even if you're an off-duty cop.

A jury found Pasadena Police Officer Marcus Justin Kacz guilty of deadly conduct when he shot his gun at a man in a road rage incident while off duty in March.

Harris County Court at Law No. 1 visiting Judge Jim Larkin on Wednesday sentenced Kacz to 18 months probation for the Class A misdemeanor. He will have to pay a $400 fine, attend anger management classes, do community service and undergo random urine tests.

"I think you made a big mistake and showed bad judgment," Larkin said.

Kacz, 26, was in civilian clothes when he chased a driver who cut him off about 2 a.m. on Beltway 8 at Spencer, said prosecutor Joe Owmby.

When the driver stopped at a light, Kacz got out of his Nissan pickup and tapped his gun on the sideview mirror, then chased the sport utility vehicle to an apartment complex, where he fired the gun at least three times at a passenger.

Defense attorney Greg Cagle argued that Kacz followed the SUV because the driver was running red lights and driving dangerously.

Because we all know a good way to mitigate dangerous driving is with gunfire, right? What a knob I mean, nice person. Him chasing me down and opening fire on my vehicle because I cut him off is the last thing I need when I'm late for work.

Posted 9/27/2007 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

What a great turtle!

A two-headed turtle captured by a turtle collector is a rare example of a conjoined-twin birth, its owner said.

The turtle would have likely died in the wild because it swims awkwardly and would be an easy target for predators, according to Jay Jacoby, manager of Big Al's Aquarium Supercenter in East Norriton.

The store bought the tiny turtle from the collector for an undisclosed price and will keep it on display, he said.

The 2-month-old turtle, known as a red-eared slider, fits on a silver dollar. It has two heads sticking out from opposite ends of its shell, along with a pair of front feet on each side. But there is just one set of back feet and one tail.

Twice the pet, half the mess!

Posted 9/27/2007 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

What a moronic waste of resources, all to keep people, some of which are legal adults, from drinking a beer.

A federal judge in Detroit today struck down as unconstitutional a Michigan law that allows police to force pedestrians under the age of 21 to take a Breathalyzer test without first obtaining a search warrant.

[. . . ]

Berden was 18 years old when she attended a party at a friend’s house to celebrate her graduation from Swan Valley High School. After she left the party, the Michigan ACLU said Thomas Township police officers arrived and found her purse which she had mistakenly left behind. Police went to Berden’s house at 4 a.m., woke up her family and demanded that she take a breath test, the ACLU said.

Although police didn’t have a warrant, the ACLU claimed Berden was informed that she would be violating the law if she refused the test. She registered a .00 percent blood-alcohol level.

What possible right do the police have to come to your house in the middle of the night so you can prove you haven't committed a crime? It only makes it that much more ridiculous because they were checking to see if this adult had consumed a beer that evening. Seriously, folks.

Posted 9/26/2007 05:56:00 PM by Douglas

Twenty four years ago today, Stanislav Petrov saved the world. I find it ironic, if not expected, that he was demoted for his actions, but the military doesn't have a sense of humor about a breech in protocol. But isn't that what makes the difference between good judgment and bad judgment? Being right? He was right, so it was good judgment.

The real irony: if the Soviets had launched a full scale counter attack, I probably would have been living in a nuclear holocaust instead of watching it on TV as a fourth grader and being scared shitless. At the time, I had no idea how close we really were.

Labels: Stanislav Petrov

Posted 9/26/2007 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

Marcia Clark or Phil Spector? You be the judge.

Posted 9/26/2007 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

Great old pictures of cities. Man, why can't we have cars that cool anymore??

Posted 9/24/2007 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

The story of the incredible shrinking dollar.

All year, the dollar has drooped compared with other major currencies. Last week, after the Federal Reserve reduced interest rates, it fell even further – now at a level not seen since 1997. The Canadian loonie is even stronger – on par with the greenback for the first time in 30 years.

The last time that the buying power of the US dollar was this low was about a decade ago, according to Federal Reserve Board statistics. But the major difference was that the dollar was rebounding from its low point in the mid-1980s when the major industrial nations decided it was overvalued. It was also easier to make changes in the trade numbers because the price of oil ranged from $22 a barrel (in 2006 dollars) to $26 a barrel, and China's exports were tiny. The US trade deficit was about $230 billion.

This time, the dollar has been on the skids for the past five years. The price of oil is about $80 a barrel. The Census bureau reports the trade imbalance with China alone is $141 billion through July.

There's a lot going on in global economics, but the history is always the same. Indulge me, if you will, on this chart. Notice anything? Any big spikes? When do they occur? During wars? How the hell is a government going to pay for a war if they can't devalue the currency to absolve their debt? Enter the Federal Reserve, in 1917, and look at what happened to our nation's debt after that. It went through the freakin' roof.

Now it's just something we live with, ho-hum, The Fed jacked with interest rates again. But it's unique in that it's the one thing that effects every American when they pull a dollar out of their pocket to pay for anything, yet it's also one of the issues that's being ignored by every 2008 presidential candidate. Except one. I don't think I have to tell you where the Honorable Ron Paul comes down on the Fed.

Posted 9/24/2007 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

High speed camera + bullets + household items = you know you're going to click on this link.

Posted 9/23/2007 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

I can sit through umpteen hours of bad SNL sketches if it means I get golden material like this. Of course I'm not a Kelly Ripa fan, but the commercial is hilarious:

Posted 9/23/2007 05:46:00 PM by Douglas

The Jena Six. Certainly not the last black men to get a bad deal in America's legal system.

It began after black teens sat under a tree that was long a traditional gathering spot for white students - only to be met the next day with three hangman’s nooses hanging from the tree.

That, of course, hearkened back to the reign of lynching terror that once permeated the South - as vile a message as it was unmistakable.

FBI agents and a U.S. attorney concluded that the incident had all the earmarks of a hate crime, but declined to prosecute because it didn’t meet the strict federal standards to bring charges.

The local DA did not bring state charges either, saying no Louisiana law covered the offense. And the school board merely ordered the students responsible to serve an in-school suspension, though the principal had urged their expulsion.

Sounds pretty skewed, and I love the notion of agreeing with the dissent despite the fact that the camera-loving attention whores Rev. Jackson and Sharpton are involved in this. That alone gives the opposition some credibility with the La Salle Parish prosecutor.

Sometimes high school bullshit fights are just that: Bullshit.

Posted 9/23/2007 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

Do you really know how to adjust your rear-view mirrors? Probably not, but ignorance is no excuse anymore. Elimination of the blind spot? I hope our nation's drivers ed books are being updated.

Posted 9/22/2007 12:47:00 PM by Douglas

Do you think that his handlers slap him silly when he gets off the podium after saying something this stupid?

Seriously, no "educated" person would say something that stupid.

Posted 9/21/2007 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

Southwest Airlines, in an attempt to make boarding their sky-bus as complicated as possible, has revised their A-B-C boarding groups into sub-groups. Still determined by the time you checked in, but now broken up into groups of five.

The boarding groups stay, too, but each passengers will, at check-in, be assigned a number. The number gives each member of the boarding groups a position in line for boarding the plane, eliminating the need to start standing in line early.

What the hell do you need to stand in line for? The only thing that could possible make a difference would be if you wanted two or (god forbid) three seats together. All of the A group would get a good chance of getting two or three seats, but after that, you're on your own, anyway. So why complicate things more by breaking up the 130 passengers from three groups to 26 groups of five?

This is stoopid. 80% of every SWA flight I've been on has been completely full, so at that point, what difference does it make? You're going to be sitting next to the smelly fat lady regardless of your boarding order, so what difference does it make? Also, most airports don't have the sufficient space to line up the passengers for a full 737, so the "is this the A line?" gets asked, oh, about 100 times or so. Now they're going to call groups of five? How much longer is that going to take? That will have to start about 30 minutes before departure. Ironically, the same time most of those idiots in 'A' spent standing in line. This is an improvement?

Look, if you want to speed up the boarding process, don't push the order back from the A-B-C setup to a ridiculous number based on what time you checked in. Here's an idea: How 'bout doing it based on picking your seat when you bought the freakin' ticket instead of letting angry travelers duke it out in the aisle? Most modern carriers refer to this as "assigned seating." Look into it, SWA, and save your money on cute little bullshit hype like this.

Posted 9/21/2007 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

The war on drugs has definitely taken a cease-fire in Texarkana this week.

A kindergartner running near a K-9 police dog during a class assembly was chased down by the German shepherd and bitten twice, school officials said.

The 5-year-old returned to class today after the dog punctured his arm and gashed his thigh Thursday, said James Henry Russell, the Texarkana schools superintendent.

So let me get this straight: The drug dog was at an Elementary school, showing how State power will prevail if they think they have anything to hide, and yet you're safe if "you don't have anything to worry about." Then a German Shepard at an Elementary school mauls a kindergartner.

Guess you did have something to worry about, after all, eh Timmy? Important life lesson: The State isn't always looking out for your best interests. Or honest.

Posted 9/20/2007 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

The blogger privacy war comes down to Paris. Paris Texas.

An unlikely Internet frontier is Paris, Texas, population 26,490, where a defamation lawsuit filed by the local hospital against a critical anonymous blogger is testing the bounds of Internet privacy, First Amendment freedom of speech and whistle-blower rights.

A state district judge has told lawyers for the hospital and the blogger that he plans within a week to order a Dallas Internet service provider to release the blogger's name. The blogger's lawyer, James Rodgers of Paris, said Tuesday he will appeal to preserve the man's anonymity and right to speak without fear of retaliation.

Rodgers said the core question in the legal battle is whether a plaintiff in a lawsuit can "strip" a blogger of anonymity merely by filing a lawsuit. Without some higher standard to prove a lawsuit has merit, he said, defamation lawsuits could have a chilling effect on Internet free speech.

Well, free speech is free speech, but libel still is libel. You can say what you want, because the truth is an affirmative defense, but you can't lie.

Also, you shouldn't fly off the handle and start suing someone because they put some stupid shit on their blog. What if someone sues me because they think that Gatisima isn't the best kitty in the world? I'd like to see someone sue me over that statement. Prove me wrong, kids, prove me wrong!

Posted 9/19/2007 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

Arrrrrrrr you ready for this? I kinda missed it, this year, but I did wear Arrrrrgyle socks today.

Labels: Pirates

Posted 9/19/2007 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

Great video of Greenspan on The Daily Show. It's almost like Jon gets it. Greenspan, as usual, explains how the stranglehold the Fed has had on our (read: your) money for the past 90 years really is government intervention of a free market economy, but aw shucks, we're just trying to help.
Fucking thieves.

Labels: Federal reserve

Posted 9/17/2007 05:54:00 PM by Douglas

The beauty of socialized medicine. Want treatment? Fine, but first do whatever the hell we tell you to.

A man with a broken ankle is facing a lifetime of pain because a Health Service hospital has refused to treat him unless he gives up smoking.

John Nuttall, 57, needs surgery to set the ankle which he broke in three places two years ago because it did not mend naturally with a plaster cast.

Doctors at the Royal Cornwall Hospital in Truro have refused to operate because they say his heavy smoking would reduce the chance of healing, and there is a risk of complications which could lead to amputation.

Smoking might lead to complication of an ankle surgery? I doubt it. Deny the surgery because he voluntarily engages in an activity that endangers his health? Much more likely. So what's next? Deny health care if people don't eat a vegetable serving every day or get eight hours of sleep every day? Why the hell not?

Posted 9/17/2007 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

Atlas Shrugged turns 50 next month. The libertarian in me wants you to go buy a copy and read it, but the brutal dictator in me wants to club you over the head with its 1,200 pages.

The book is “Atlas Shrugged,” Ayn Rand’s glorification of the right of individuals to live entirely for their own interest.

So you can see why Lefties would hate it. I had no idea Alan Greenspan was such a fan:

Shortly after “Atlas Shrugged” was published in 1957, Mr. Greenspan wrote a letter to The New York Times to counter a critic’s comment that “the book was written out of hate.” Mr. Greenspan wrote: “ ‘Atlas Shrugged’ is a celebration of life and happiness. Justice is unrelenting. Creative individuals and undeviating purpose and rationality achieve joy and fulfillment. Parasites who persistently avoid either purpose or reason perish as they should.”

If only! If only there wasn't some huge, maniacal government regulatory agency that dictated everything. Ya know, like the Federal Reserve?!?

Posted 9/15/2007 02:57:00 PM by Douglas

In case you needed another reason to hate Jane Fonda, now The New York Times, of all places, is blaming her for global warming. No shit, check it out.

What it did produce, stoked by “The China Syndrome,” was a widespread panic. The nuclear industry, already foundering as a result of economic, regulatory and public pressures, halted plans for further expansion. And so, instead of becoming a nation with clean and cheap nuclear energy, as once seemed inevitable, the United States kept building power plants that burned coal and other fossil fuels. Today such plants account for 40 percent of the country’s energy-related carbon-dioxide emissions. Anyone hunting for a global-warming villain can’t help blaming those power plants — and can’t help wondering too about the unintended consequences of Jane Fonda.

Well, maybe that's not fair, but who cares? Anyone going to cry a single tear about the 'unintended consequences' of Jane's political views? Maybe I should ask someone at the local V.F.W. chapter that question.

France, which generates nearly 80 percent of its electricity by nuclear power, seems to think so. So do Belgium (56 percent), Sweden (47 percent) and more than a dozen other countries that generate at least one-fourth of their electricity by nuclear power. And who is the world’s single largest producer of nuclear energy?

Improbably enough, that would be . . . the United States. Even though the development of new nuclear plants stalled by the early 1980s, the country’s 104 reactors today produce nearly 20 percent of the electricity the nation consumes. This share has actually grown over the years along with our consumption, since nuclear technology has become more efficient. While the fixed costs of a new nuclear plant are higher than those of a coal or natural-gas plant, the energy is cheaper to create: Exelon, the largest nuclear company in the United States, claims to produce electricity at 1.3 cents per kilowatt-hour, compared with 2.2 cents for coal.

American reactors could generate the same kind of efficiencies as the European reactors if the idiotic D.O.E policy to shit-can breeder reactors in the late 70s. So is nuclear energy the way to go? It's certainly not without it's drawbacks, but one thing you have to say about it: IT WORKS. Unlike the dual government funded nightmares of wind and ethanol.

Posted 9/12/2007 08:53:00 PM by Douglas

Just another day in paradise:

More simul-blogging Humberto later, electricity permitting.

UPDATE: 11:04 It's not even raining anymore. Humberto is still over open water, and headed East. Good for Houston, bad for Beaumont.

Posted 9/12/2007 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

Remember the good old days when we were scared of the world's other superpower killing all our children? Yeah, me neither, but I do love me some reruns!

Developed in secret, the unchristened bomb, a vacuum device capable of emitting shockwaves as powerful as a nuclear weapon, was unveiled with great theatre on state television's main evening broadcast.

Boasting that the weapon had "no match in the world," ORT First Channel television showed a Tupolev Tu-160 strategic bomber dropping its payload over a testing ground, followed by a massive explosion.

Pictures of what appeared to be crumpled multi-storey apartment blocks were also broadcast.

Although there was no independent verification of the Russian military's claim, the test is likely to cause further consternation in the West after a series of bellicose statements by the president, Vladimir Putin.

Maybe it's just me, but I find little solace in the words "bellicose Russian President."

According to Russian generals, the bomb is four times more powerful than the American Massive Ordnance Air Blast Bomb or MOAB.

Well that's just super. the largest non-nuclear bomb in the world needed to be four times bigger than ours? What are you trying to prove? It's not like Russia has a history of building ridiculously sized weapons, even to the point where they're no longer practicably deployable. Oh wait. So good luck with that.

"Test results of the new airborne weapon have shown that its efficiency and power is commensurate with a nuclear weapon," he said.

"The main destruction is inflicted by an ultrasonic shockwave and an incredibly high temperature," ORT added.

"All that is alive merely evaporates."

Despite its destructive qualities, the bomb is environmentally friendly, Gen Rushkin said.

Two questions. Your conventional bomb is on the same order of power as a nuke? Doesn't that kinda make the Billion Rubles you spent developing nukes kinda seem, oh Ida know, wasted? Also, what part of evaporating all living things is environmentally friendly?

Posted 9/12/2007 02:14:00 PM by Douglas

This guy goes a bit over the top, but I like the sentiment: Where is the silence?

But wait, this can't be: Music is everywhere; we have more of it, available in more forms, more often, than at any time in human history. I can go to the web and find O King of Berio, Baksimba dances from Uganda, something really obscure like Why Are we Born (not to have a good time) of the young Buck Owens, even Pat Boone's version of Tutti Frutti; I can find all of the same at the mall. Surely this is a good thing. I can find renewal of spirit in Sur Incises of Boulez or stand aghast at the toxic grandiloquence of Franz Schmidt's Book of the Seven Seals. Music is everywhere. Long live it.

Just give me five minutes without it; that's all I ask, perhaps all I'll need to bring it back into being for myself. Imprisoned by it as I am now, assaulted in every store, elevator, voice-mail system, passing car, neighbor's home, by it and its consequent immolation in the noise of the quotidian, it is lost to me as anything other than a kind of psychic rape, a forced intimacy with sonic partners not of my choosing. When music is everywhere, it is nowhere; when everything is music, nothing is. Silence is as crucial to the musical experience as any of its sounding parameters, and not merely as a kind of acoustical "negative space." Silence births, nurtures, and eventually takes back the musical utterance; it shapes both the formation of its textures and the arc of its progress through time.

That's what I think when I see so many people plugged in all the time. You can't go 45 seconds without some kind of noise in your head? Give it a rest. Time for a little 4'33 action, I think.

Labels: silence

Posted 9/12/2007 01:19:00 PM by Douglas

Humberto. That's exactly what we need right now::

Just went by the gas station, and it's already getting crazy here. I don't think this one is gonna be a big deal, but that's what we thought about Allison, too.

I'm definitely going to need more Bourbon.

Labels: hurricanes 2007

Posted 9/12/2007 12:43:00 PM by Douglas

Of all the criticisms of the ridiculousness of wind power, this is probably the most silly. But I'm glad someone's saying it. And don't miss the slideshow.

After the industry's recent boom years, wind power providers and experts are now concerned. The facilities may not be as reliable and durable as producers claim. Indeed, with thousands of mishaps, breakdowns and accidents having been reported in recent years, the difficulties seem to be mounting. Gearboxes hiding inside the casings perched on top of the towering masts have short shelf lives, often crapping out before even five years is up. In some cases, fractures form along the rotors, or even in the foundation, after only limited operation. Short circuits or overheated propellers have been known to cause fires. All this despite manufacturers' promises that the turbines would last at least 20 years.

Things break. No one should be surprised at this. How 'bout pointing out that these things don't provide reliable power that would allow taking a gas or coal plant off-line? Not to mention that they don't even make enough power to pay for their own construction.

Labels: wind power

Posted 9/12/2007 12:22:00 PM by Douglas

The Museum of Smoking in Paris is, of course, a non-smoking facility:

The ostensible purpose of Le Musée du Fumeur is to demonstrate how global attitudes toward smoking have developed and transformed over the years. Yet its cluttered formality can leave visitors with the impression that smoking is in fact an archaic practice, long-since vanished from mainstream society. And given current trends, it might not be long before cigarette smoking indeed does become extinct — at least in the public spaces of progressive, First World cities like Paris.

Not too long ago, public smoking bans were regarded as a uniquely American phenomenon — a puritanical gesture, held in ridicule by any self-respecting, Gauloise-puffing Frenchman. Over time, however, the public health burden of smoking-related illnesses has spurred a number of industrialized nations to follow the American example. When the initial steps of a public smoking ban took effect in Paris this February, French opinion polls reported that 70 percent of Parisians were in favor of the prohibition.

And then there's this little nugget of sunshine from England. I don't think smoke-free pubs will be the death of English literature, but I enjoy the connection.

Nowadays, this harmless experience would cost the publican £1,200, and Tennyson himself £600, while appallingly self-righteous non-smokers at neighbouring tables, rather than being pleased that they had enjoyed a glimpse of the greatest Victorian poet, would be complaining about the fumes which they chose to believe were causing them some kind of damage.

My wife and I have found formerly much-loved pubs all but empty or, worse, filled with middle-class eight-year-olds sitting on the bar stools, slurping J2O through straws and giving their views on global warming in the high-pitched tones of Fulham or Hampstead.

The grizzled old smokers of yore are still smoking, but, rather than enjoy one another's companionship, they sit melancholily at home with their six-packs and watch telly. It is no substitute for the pleasure (albeit sometimes a boring pleasure - an oxymoron which all pub-goers will recognize as apt) of meeting real people.

I experienced my first smoke-free Houston bar yesterday, and the experience was utterly joyless. Not only were the number of patrons diminished by about a third, but those that were there didn't much seem like they wanted to be. Add that on top of the whining guy that claims he couldn't go to a bar before the ban because smoke makes him sick, and you've a well-rounded crowd of boring people sure to live long, uninteresting lives. Is this new throng of bar patrons going to be able to support their local neighborhood bars when smokers stay home? Time will tell, but I'll bet that the majority of these people go to a bar at most once a month. Imagine the surprise on their face when they go for that next drink in six months and find their bar closed. At least no one was smoking in there when they went out of business.

Posted 9/11/2007 01:23:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting collection of holes. [Nope, sorry, but I already made my lame Paris Hilton joke for the day.]

Posted 9/11/2007 01:21:00 PM by Douglas

I'm gonna have to try this with my next steak. Sounds promising.

Posted 9/11/2007 01:18:00 PM by Douglas

The recording industry continues to uncontrollably spiral towards irrelevance with this mind numbingly stupid idea.

As the recording industry wakes up from its summer slumber and starts thinking about what will motivate the consumer for the holiday selling season, the major labels are getting ready to launch the "ringle," which combines the mostly defunct single format with ringtones.

Each ringle is expected to contain three songs -- one hit and maybe one remix and an older track -- and one ringtone, on a CD with a slip-sleeve cover. The idea is that if consumers in the digital age can download any tracks they want individually, why not let them buy singles in the store as well? It also enables stores to get involved in the ringtone phenomenon.

I would have loved to been a fly on the wall in that meeting. Hmm, CD sales are dropping like Paris Hilton's panties, most people would prefer to get their music digitally, no one wants to buy a CD single, yet people spend a brazillion dollars downloading ringtones for their phones. I KNOW! Let's put ringtones on CD singles!!! There's an idea so nutty, it just has to work!!!

Record executives: No one needs you anymore.

Posted 9/10/2007 12:37:00 PM by Douglas

Give blood already! What are you saving it for?

Nationwide, regional branches of the Red Cross, the humanitarian organization that collects, processes, and distributes blood in the United States, have been struggling in kind.

American blood banks experienced one of their driest summers in history this year, the extreme of a seasonal drought that is leading some experts to question the growing list of safety criteria for blood donors.

"This is the worst blood shortage that I have experienced since I began directing transfusion services in 1968," Sandler said.

Seriously, what are you waiting for?

Posted 9/09/2007 05:52:00 PM by Douglas

Every go to a fast food joint and get a bad meal? Of course you have, if you live in America. So what do you do about it? Throw your burger/taco in the trash and go on with your day? Well, not this jackhole. He feels like wasting a lot of people's time with his bad burger.

A McDonald's employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer's burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

Bull, 20, said she accidentally spilled salt on hamburger meat and told her supervisor and a co-worker, who "tried to thump the salt off."

On her break, she ate a burger made with the salty meat. "It didn't make me sick," Bull told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

But then Police Officer Wendell Adams got a burger made with the oversalted meat, and he returned a short time later and told the manager it made him sick.

Bull admitted spilling salt on the meat, and Adams took her outside and questioned her, she said.

Is that the standard protocol when you get bad food? to question the person making $7 an hour? And how "sick" do you get from too much salt?

"If it was too salty, why did (Adams) not take one bite and throw it away?" said Bull, who has worked at the restaurant for five months. She said she didn't know a police officer got one of the salty burgers because she couldn't see the drive-through window from her work area.

Police said samples of the burger were sent to the state crime lab for tests.

What?!? You're gonna bother the freakin' crime lab with a salty burger? Sweet Jebus, these guys need something to do. Is there no real crime in Georgia?

Posted 9/09/2007 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

You live on the coast, you take your chances with hurricanes. You also pay out the nose for home insurance, but that's another rant. Just like earthquakes in Cali, tornadoes in Kansas or lava on the side of Kilauea, you pay your money, you take your chances, but in case the TV weather guy isn't working overtime trying to scare the crap out of old people, let the paper do it.

From a scientific standpoint, we can't say for sure that Texas is due for a surge in hurricane activity. Mother Nature, after all, doesn't always obey mathematical probabilities.

But let's face it, Texas is due.

Really? Is that the same mathematical certainty you use to buy your lotto tickets? It's equally retarded. I don't know what the line in Vegas of the Texas coast getting hit by a big storm, but sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. Look at Allison. She did $6 Billion in damage without even making hurricane strength.

Since 1851, more than five dozen hurricanes have made landfall on the Texas coast. But in the 1990s and 2000s — a time when the Atlantic basin has seen, perhaps, the most intense tropical activity of any recorded era — just two hurricanes have made a direct hit on the state.

That's about one-fourth the number history suggests Texas should see.

Activity in the current period is certainly a far cry from that of the 1940s, when 10 hurricanes struck Texas.

So? Compare 2005 to 2006. Anyone saw either one of those years coming? Of course not.

Look, everyone on the coast knows it's a risk. It's a risk we accept. What we don't need is the freakin' media trying to scare us. That's not doing a favor to anyone.

Posted 9/08/2007 06:54:00 PM by Douglas

So what constitutes an "identity theft" ring? Hopefully a little more than a whole bunch of crap in a big house.

Federal and local law enforcement authorities carrying out a search warrant at a home in League City uncovered what investigators believe to be a massive identity theft operation Friday evening.

Officials with the Federal Bureau of Investigation were assisting the League City Police Department with the execution of a state search warrant at the home about 4:30 p.m. Friday, said FBI Special Agent Patricia Villafranca.

"It's a large, luxury home and apparently there's a large amount of expensive items inside," said Villafranca, who didn't have the specific address late Friday. "At this point it's believed that many of them have been purchased by fraudulently obtaining credit cards."

[. . . ]

"Basically it's just because of the sheer volume of the items and the size of the case," she said.

News flash, League City Police, Galveston County Sheriff and the FBI, if having a lot of crap in a big house that appears to be beyond the means of the residents is a sign of an identity theft ring, then every McMansion in every suburb in Houston is suspect.

Posted 9/08/2007 06:45:00 PM by Douglas

Me thinks the good revered doth protest too much.

A minister who was arrested on child pornography charges told authorities he was doing research to get some Web sites shut down, police said.

Henry Edgington, 63, of Chalk Bluff, was charged with seven counts of child pornography possession. He was released from the McLennan County Jail on $70,000 bond Thursday after he surrendered to police.

Edgington, a minister at the Elm Mott Church of Christ near Waco, did not immediately return a call Friday.

A relative found a box containing child pornography at Edgington's home and approached Waco Police's Crimes Against Children detectives last week, police spokesman Steve Anderson said. The Police Department has jurisdiction to investigate crimes brought to its attention, even though Edgington lives in a Waco suburb, Anderson said.

Edgington told detectives he downloaded the pornography to give to a congressman in an effort to have the Web sites shut down, Anderson said.

So, a congressman is where you need to go to get a web site shut down? Also, if it's on the internets, why would you download it if you just wanted it shut down?

"Unless you have a badge, it's illegal to look at child pornography, no matter what your motive," Anderson said.

Maybe the good revered should get a badge. . .

Posted 9/08/2007 06:21:00 PM by Douglas

I really only read the Amarillo Globe-News for one reason: Great headlines like this.

Cheese plant to welcome visitors
Construction is finished and the Hilmar Cheese factory will hold an open house today.

This will be the only time the plant will be open to the public due to sanitation concerns, said Denise Skidmore, director of education and public relations.

State and local dignitaries are expected as are representatives of the three generations of families that own Hilmar and the High Plains Dairy Council.

What kind of "State and local" dignitaries do you get at a Dalhart cheese plant?

No cameras will be allowed inside and clean, closed-toe shoes are required. Also, no pets or smoking will be allowed on the site.

Damn! My dog so wanted to bring his digital camera to the new cheese plant!!!

Mmmm . . . cheese plant!

Posted 9/08/2007 05:56:00 PM by Douglas

Something about this story that makes me want to channel my inner Jack D. Ripper:

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.

Posted 9/08/2007 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

I was thinking that I should do something about all my grey hair. I wonder where I can get some Just for Terrorists??

Posted 9/08/2007 05:01:00 PM by Douglas

Terminator, call your office.

In a similar way, according to futurists gathered Saturday for a weekend conference, information technology is hurtling toward a point where machines will become smarter than their makers. If that happens, it will alter what it means to be human in ways almost impossible to conceive, they say.

"The Singularity Summit: AI and the Future of Humanity" brought together hundreds of Silicon Valley techies and scientists to imagine a future of self-programming computers and brain implants that would allow humans to think at speeds nearing today's microprocessors.

Ok, I can see a downside of this, but is it really such a bad thing? If a microprocessor implant is what it takes to get that fucking minivan in front of me to go in under nine seconds after the light turns green, then well, that's the price we pay.

In 1965, Intel co-founder Gordon Moore accurately predicted that the number of transistors on a chip should double about every two years. By comparison, according Singularity Institute researchers, the entire evolution of modern humans from primates has resulted in only a threefold increase in brain capacity.

With advances in biotechnology and information technology, they say, there's no scientific reason that human thinking couldn't be pushed to speeds up to a million times faster.

OK, great. Let's just assume that the human mind could be accelerated to the speed of the average computer available off the shelf at Best Buy today. Now what? Does that mean the decision to buy Us Weekly over People will happen four nano-seconds earlier? The average person is an idiot, and half the population is even dumber. I can't imagine processor time being the long pole in the tent for these morons and their route to clipping coupons and buying extended warranties.

Posted 9/05/2007 06:24:00 PM by Douglas

Ever wonder about the geometry and function of drill bits? Yeah, me neither, ever since I got out of my final for Materials Processing class in college. But this site has all you need to know.

May your tips stay sharp!

Posted 9/05/2007 06:19:00 PM by Douglas

Lovely. Is there any case that so stupid a lawyer won't take it? Apparently not.

A woman whose 15-year-old daughter was paralyzed in a single-car accident that killed three other teens has sued a North Richland Hills convenience store over its alleged sale of alcohol to minors.

Kim Tidwell's lawsuit alleges that Glenview Quick Mart didn't check the minors' identification before selling them beer.

Tidwell's daughter, Paige Owens, was one of two survivors in the Aug. 4 accident in Wise County. Three teens, age 17, 16 and 14, were killed.

The Department of Public Safety said it's waiting for results of toxicology tests to determine if alcohol or drugs were a factor in the crash.

Details are sketchy, but let's look at the facts as reported:

• It was a single car accident
• It's not yet clear if alcohol was a factor in the accident
• It was an accident

So people with minimal driving experience illegally obtain alcohol and then fail to control their vehicle. How on earth could this possibly be the Stop'n'Rob's fault?

Shouldn't the Wise county sheriff be suing the parents for using the county's police and EMS resources to clean up the mess that was a result of the actions of their idiot children? There's a lawsuit I'd like to see.

Posted 9/05/2007 06:07:00 PM by Douglas

Here's a funny site. This is exactly what the internet needs. Lord knows there's not enough cat pictures online. At least now I have a reason as to why "wet pussy" is in my google search history.

Posted 9/05/2007 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

The quest for the perpetual motion machine continues unabated. Again, say it along with me: You can't get something out of nothing.

An Austin-based startup called EEStor promised "technologies for replacement of electrochemical batteries," meaning a motorist could plug in a car for five minutes and drive 500 miles roundtrip between Dallas and Houston without gasoline.

By contrast, some plug-in hybrids on the horizon would require motorists to charge their cars in a wall outlet overnight and promise only 50 miles of gasoline-free commute. And the popular hybrids on the road today still depend heavily on fossil fuels.

Ok, so you're going to use high efficiency capacitors instead of batteries. Sounds like a great idea, but where do you think electricity comes from? Fossil fuels.

The technology also could help invigorate the renewable-energy sector by providing efficient, lightning-fast storage for solar power, or, on a small scale, a flash-charge for cell phones and laptops.

Perhaps if photo-voltaic solar cells ever become viable, you can use them to charge these capacitors during peak solar load times, then maybe this would work. But until electricity starts coming out of the ground, you're still stuck with the same problems electric cars have now.

Posted 9/05/2007 05:21:00 PM by Douglas

Men are from Paul Johnson, women are from Danielle Steele.

When it comes to fiction, the gender gap is at its widest. Men account for only 20 percent of the fiction market, according to surveys conducted in the U.S., Canada and Britain.

By this measure, "chick-lit" would have to include Hemingway and nearly every other novel, observes Lakshmi Chaudhry in the magazine In These Times. "Unlike the gods of the literary establishment who remain predominately male—both as writers and critics—their humble readers are overwhelmingly female."

No surprises there, and one of the main reasons why I'm not so surprised or alarmed by this news:

One in four adults read no books at all in the past year, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll released Tuesday. Of those who did read, women and older people were most avid, and religious works and popular fiction were the top choices.

There's nothing magical about reading, and reading garbage is a total waste of time. There's so much dreck out there, most "reader's" time could be better spent watching Captain Kangaroo.

Posted 9/05/2007 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Why get a mechanic or an engineer, to do a goat's job?

Nepal's state-run airline has confirmed that it sacrificed two goats to appease a Hindu god, following technical problems with one of its aircraft.

Nepal Airlines said the animals were slaughtered in front of the plane - a Boeing 757 - at Kathmandu airport.

The offering was made to Akash Bhairab, the Hindu god of sky protection, whose symbol is seen on the company's planes.

The airline said that after Sunday's ceremony the plane successfully completed a flight to Hong Kong.

"The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights," senior airline official Raju KC was quoted as saying by Reuters.

I think I'd rather be on a Boeing plane with a picture of a mechanic on it.