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The truth shall set you free, but first it's going to piss you off
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Thursday, November 30, 2006
Posted
11/30/2006 05:38:00 PM
by Douglas
State's Attorney Julia Rietz made the call not to lodge any more serious charge than improper lane usage against Stark, saying that the legal definition of recklessness, to sustain reckless homicide or reckless driving, did not fit her actions.Reckless? What the fuck difference does that make? Making the decision to drink three beers and getting behind the wheel and then rolling through a stop sign will get you a night in the klink and about $10,000 in fines. Changing the ring tone on your stupid fucking cell phone and killing a kid gets you six months probation and a fine? I would argue that something that results in a death is inherently more reckless than just about anything that doesn't result in a bodycount. Sunday, November 26, 2006
Posted
11/26/2006 06:08:00 PM
by Douglas
Seriously, is an aluminum pole any dumber than a tree?
Posted
11/26/2006 05:59:00 PM
by Douglas
Posted
11/26/2006 05:39:00 PM
by Douglas
Posted
11/26/2006 05:35:00 PM
by Douglas
This has got to be a joke. A good joke, but still.
Posted
11/26/2006 05:06:00 PM
by Douglas
It’s a night that people accustomed to quoting Andy Warhol or Diddy may summarize by invoking another New York luminary: Yogi Berra, who said, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”What a great line. But it gets more complicated when talking about elitists New Yorkers that don't realize that the line is satire, and that they may run into people in public that aren't nearly as cool as they are. GASP! “In the old days, Saturday was the destination night for chic New Yorkers headed to Studio 54 at its most resplendent,” Mr. Musto said in an e-mail message. “But things changed as more and more tri-staters were willing to use the bridges and tunnels for here-we-come Gotham weekends, so the locals started staying home and triple-bolting their doors as if in a George Romero film.”Oh My God! All this in the same city as the U.N. Imagine the carnage?!? You have to stay home one night a week to avoid someone from Jersey because he's more annoying than you are, or at the very least, annoying in a different way. Did America lose a war or something? It gets worse: Last Saturday, four Manhattanites in their early 30s were huddling over a low table downstairs at Buddakan, the cavernous pan-Asian restaurant in the meatpacking district. “During the weekends, you get a lot of clutter, if you will,” said Brian Kirimdar, 30, an investment banker. He and his wife, Ashley, tend to hide out in restaurants on Saturdays, avoiding all but a few of the Chelsea clubs. “You don’t find too many bridge-and-tunnel people at Cielo or Marquee,” he said. “You really have to pick and choose.”Yeah, you really gotta pick and chose, Brian and Ashley. You gotta find the "few" restaurants and clubs where you can find human beings and not the arrogant assholes that are overwhelmingly convinced of their own self-importance. Monday, November 20, 2006
Posted
11/20/2006 05:10:00 PM
by Douglas
Can George Washington and Thomas Jefferson succeed where Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea failed? The U.S. Mint is hoping America's presidents will win acceptance, finally, for the maligned dollar coin.Wow! I mean, who cares? I'm getting repetitive: Get rid of the penny, bring back the $2 bill, and make a $1 coin someone might want. Labels: seigniorage
Posted
11/20/2006 05:08:00 PM
by Douglas
Russian President Vladimir Putin, wearing Vietnamese 'ao dai' silk tunics, during the official photograph for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit in Hanoi November 19, 2006. REUTERS/Jim YoungOr Yeah, Poppy couldn't get me out of having to wear this silly robe, either.OR Ironic, ain't it? I actually went to Viet Nam to get out of going back to Washington. Say, that 'minds me. What's irony?Or Hey Pooty, you start pitching a tent in that thing and me and you's gonna have issues. I'm friggin' nine years old today. Sunday, November 19, 2006
Posted
11/19/2006 05:37:00 PM
by Douglas
The government ended a 14-year virtual ban on silicone-gel breast implants Friday despite lingering safety questions, making the devices available to tens of thousands of women who have clamored for them.Yeah, who cares? Saturday, November 18, 2006
Posted
11/18/2006 04:25:00 PM
by Douglas
Posted
11/18/2006 04:09:00 PM
by Douglas
Israel is using nanotechnology to try to create a robot no bigger than a hornet that would be able to chase, photograph and kill its targets, an Israeli newspaper reported on Friday.Wow, I can't imagine this technology getting out of hand. I wonder if it can find Sarah Connor? I for one welcome our new robotic insect overlords, and as a engineer, I could be useful in helping them rounding up worker drones to toil in their underground sugar-caves.
Posted
11/18/2006 04:00:00 PM
by Douglas
If you watched the World Series at all last month, you may recall that the team that made the most powerful impression was Gillette. The unit of Procter & Gamble repeated the same ad for its new six-blade Fusion razor so many times that it made you either want to throw something at the TV or to run out and buy the razor.Fuck it, we're going to six blades!!!
Posted
11/18/2006 03:48:00 PM
by Douglas
Is a burrito a sandwich? The Panera Bread Co. bakery-and-cafe chain says yes. But a judge said no, ruling against Panera in its bid to prevent a Mexican restaurant from moving into the same shopping mall.Are there on oppressed, downtrodden people in the world in desperate need of legal representation? Why are lawyers so freakin' bored that they argue about crap like this? Oh yeah, keep in mind that the status of a tomato as a fruit or a vegetable went all the way to the supreme court.
Posted
11/18/2006 03:39:00 PM
by Douglas
Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”Something to be said for the zealous representation of your client, but holy crap!?! I know it hasn't been that long ago that it was made illegal to have sex with a dead person, so it's no wonder carcass action isn't specifically outlawed in Minnesota. But I think reasonable people would agree that a dead animal is still an animal, if for nothing else but for how completely disgusting this is. Ah, who am I kidding. He's gonna get off. Again.
Posted
11/18/2006 03:14:00 PM
by Douglas
A Hancock County couple have filed a lawsuit against Starbucks, accusing a Fishers store of serving scalding hot chocolate that seriously burned their little girl.What the hell is wrong with these people? She bought a product described as hot chocolate. I can see how you could make a case if it was coffee or tea, because let's be frank, its thermal properties aren't included in the name. But Hot chocolate? Pretty much know what you're getting with that one, even if you are retarded. She bought it, dropped it, and her kid got burned. How do they muster the balls to call a lawyer over that? Thursday, November 16, 2006
Posted
11/16/2006 05:43:00 PM
by Douglas
Just not cats, right? Ornithologist Jim Stevenson won't say how many feral cats he has shot since he moved to Galveston a decade ago but acknowledges "it's a lot fewer than the number of birds I've saved."I guess he's too much of a pussy to pull out the .22 and shoot a cat sitting on his own nards, eh? Birds fly. Cats eat birds. No amount of rimfire .22 ammunition is going to change that fact of nature. But nice try. Maybe the majestic animals with a brain the size of a cashew you're trying to protect can devour the corpses of all your shot cats for sustenance. Ah, the circle of life. . . .
Posted
11/16/2006 05:17:00 PM
by Douglas
Oh really? Gov. Rick Perry is asking the Teacher Retirement System, Texas' largest pension fund, to consider investing up to $600 million in young companies that receive money from Perry's emerging technology fund.State officials "encouraging" where private money is invested? I smell trouble. I wonder if the "underpaid" teachers of Texas had a say in the $130 Million loss TRS suffered from poor investments in WorldCom and Enron? Did the Governor encourage those, too? What the hell does he care, it's not his money. Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Posted
11/15/2006 05:33:00 PM
by Douglas
Clint Curtis said he is considering a legal challenge to the election results: "In this election, the results did not match the Zogby pre-election poll, our internal VoteNow2006.net polling, or our exit polling," Curtis explained.This is stupid for so many reasons. The electorate doesn't put any faith in polls. It's the elections that count, and anyone with half a brain (in deference to politicians) knows, like Stalin did, that it's not about who votes, but who counts the votes: The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.So the electorate didn't do as good as Zogby's limited sample size said you would? What a shocker. Look folks, the election is over. Can't we get on to the discussion of the real winners? Politicians.
Posted
11/15/2006 05:26:00 PM
by Douglas
Those two classes strike terror in the hearts of many high school students, though both can be avoided by college-bound youths. But that could change as state education policymakers implement a new rule requiring students on the recommended graduation plan to take a fourth year of math and science.How dare industry dictate to the public confiscatory taxing/education system that they teach kids stuff they actually need to know?!? Don't they know there was a game this week?!? Seriously, high schools are getting dumbed-down in lock step with colleges, so in a few years this won't even matter, but if you're in school as a serious student and you're complaining that the administration is trying to teach you too much, you need to do a little research and find out what McDonald's is paying. That's where you're headed, pep-rally kid. Sunday, November 12, 2006
Posted
11/12/2006 07:06:00 PM
by Douglas
The proper response to that calculation is to make emphatically clear that the fight will not end until one side or the other wins, decisively. That kind of battle can only have one ending, as Abraham Lincoln understood. In a speech delivered a month after his reelection, Lincoln carefully surveyed the North's resources and manpower and concluded that the nation's wealth was "unexhausted and, as we believe, inexhaustible." Southern soldiers began to desert in droves. Through the long, bloody summer and fall of 1864, the South had hung on only because of the belief that the North might tire of the conflict. But Lincoln did not tire. Instead, he doubled the bet--and won the war.Holy cow, that's the stupidest thing I've ever read. Lincoln finally got the General he deserved with Grant, in that "he fights" as Lincoln said. But the battles of 1864 were pretty horrific, in human scales. Petersburg, Spotsylvania, and Cold Harbor cost the Union 40,000 men. As Lincoln knew, it wasn't easy to find a general that would lose that many soldiers in a month and keep marching forward. Sure the Union had three times the population of the South and thousands of troops that had never heard a shot fired in anger. Where the hell was I going with this?? Oh yeah, America has neither the troop-strength nor the intestinal fortitude to endure such a war of attrition in the 21st century. Declare victory and get the hell out.
Posted
11/12/2006 06:21:00 PM
by Douglas
A Florida voter may have unwittingly lost hundreds of thousands of dollars by using an extremely rare stamp to mail an absentee ballot in Tuesday's congressional election, a government official said on Friday.Philately, or as I like to call it, "a bigger waste of your life than smoking."
Posted
11/12/2006 06:12:00 PM
by Douglas
The special report was triggered by the radioactivity measurements reported on a crater probably created by an Israeli Bunker Buster bomb in the village of Khiam, in southern Lebanon. The measurements were carried out by two Lebanese professors of physics - Mohammad Ali Kubaissi and Ibrahim Rachidi. The data - 700 nanosieverts per hour – showed remarkably higher radiocativity then the average in the area (Beirut = 35 nSv/hr ). Successivamente, on September 17th, Ali Kubaissi took British researcher Dai Williams, from the environmentalist organization Green Audit, to the same site, to take samples that were then submitted to Chris Busby, technical adisor of the Supervisory Committee on Depleted Uranium, which reports to the British Ministry of Defense. The samples were tested by Harwell’s nuclear laboratory, one of the most authoritative research centers in the world. On October 17th, Harwell disclosed the testing results - two samples in 10 did contain radioactivity.If there's a positive spin to this, I'd love to hear it.
Posted
11/12/2006 06:04:00 PM
by Douglas
Early Native Americans quarried flint at the Alibates Flint Quarries for more than 12,000 years to make dart points, arrowheads and other tools. The colorful flint lies just below the surface of ridge tops in a layer up to 6 feet thick.Whatever you do, don't steal any flint and don't slash open your class-mate's arms with razor-sharp flint on the busride home. I'm just sayin'. . . . Ranger Day, in all his flint knapping genius:
Posted
11/12/2006 05:48:00 PM
by Douglas
The movie promoted the hype more than the hype promoted the movie.That's it, in a nutshell. The movie was a 90 minute slasher flick with every horror-cliche in the book, but I still say it was pretty damn funny. Interesting that the SoaP movie didn't live up to the SoaP hype, and kinda sad people would rather laugh at the joke than go see it. Oh well, at least it made its money back. Friday, November 10, 2006
Posted
11/10/2006 05:59:00 PM
by Douglas
Hans Monderman, a traffic planner involved in a Brussels-backed project known as Shared Space, said that taking lights away helped motorists, cyclists and pedestrians to co-exist more happily and safely.What a novel concept. Slow people down where they're actually paying attention to the road, and they get through traffic faster than they do by stopping every block at a stoplight. What a concept! Now, let's discuss why this will never work in America: "It works well because it is dangerous, which is exactly what we want. But it shifts the emphasis away from the Government taking the risk, to the driver being responsible for his or her own risk.What?!? I'm responsible for operating a moving vehicle that could kill me or others?!? Surely it's the government's fault for not putting up a sign or something. I can't be held liable for running over that other driver. I was simply driving to work. And changing a CD. And putting on eye-liner. And eating a burrito. How is that my fault? In short, if motorists are made more wary about how they drive, they behave more carefully, he said.What?!? How dare he suggest that I pay attention to the road and vehicle I'm operating. I'm an American! That's why I pay insurance. Helena, drive it home: "I am used to it now," said Helena Spaanstra, 24. "You drive more slowly and carefully, but somehow you seem to get around town quicker."Imagine that. Pull your head out of your ass, drive the car, slow down, yet still get around town quicker. Yet another example as to why Americans are more concerned with appearing to be safe as opposed to actually being safe.
Posted
11/10/2006 05:37:00 PM
by Douglas
His torso still scratched from the bear's claws, his face bloodied and steaming in the November chill, he should immediately give a press conference at which he throws the bearskin on the front row of the press corps, completely enveloping Helen Thomas, declaring, "I'm not going anywhere."I don't know what's more alarming: That he thinks this is shrewd, funny, or actually useful info for the President in his last two years of office. Republicans lost, but more importantly, they lost for a reason. Instead of pounding your chest about it, how 'bout trying to figure out why. Karl Rove is undoubtedly very tired by now.
Posted
11/10/2006 05:27:00 PM
by Douglas
Either you loved U2, or you liked them fine. Either you loved R.E.M., or you hated them.OK, so that's in the second to last paragraph, but it's still true. R.E.M. were cats, while U2 were dogs. Even if you don't like dogs, you don't hate them. But if you don't like cats, you hate cats. Such as it is with R.E.M. and U2. Even if you don't like U2, they've got that one song that won't disappear from the radio that you catch yourself humming while you're taking a crap. R.E.M. wasn't so. You had no idea what the hell they were talking about: The lyrics could mean anything, and therefore they meant everything, weighted as they were with mystery, resonance, and passion. "It's not necessarily what we meant," writes Mills, "but whatever you think."And I think this, above all else, is why I loved R.E.M. So much of their stuff (before they fell apart in 1996 with the horrid, New Adventures in Hi-Fi) was what dorks like me liked to call "open for interpretation." How many hours in dorms across the country were devoted to dissecting the lyrics of "Word Leader Pretend" or "Driver 8" or "Swan Swan H" or countless others? It meant something to you because dammit, you were thinking about it. U2 fans had it all spelled out for them with "Pride in the name of love," "With or without you," or "Mysterious Ways." Absolutely no 'mystery' or self introspection in that title. The delicacy at the heart of R.E.M.'s 1980s albums fostered introspection and brotherhood among those of us who loved them in those years: introspection, because the songs pushed the listener inward, finding significance in every line; brotherhood, because we had to band together to defend our heroes against the unfeeling jerks who found R.E.M. precious and maddeningly opaque. I assumed, of course, that those jerks were U2 fans.Not always but more often than not. In the battle of the three minute pop song, R.E.M. caught my attention as something that made me think about things larger than myself. Sure, Stipe and company had their bad days ("Shiny happy people?" Geesh. Utter drek) but more often than not they wrote interesting if not compelling music and lyrics that got my attention, and to this day, each and every R.E.M. song that's near and dear to me reminds me of a specific place, time, event, person with which I shared that experience. U2, on the other hand, is terribly over rated and has an incredible song about MLK's assassination. How much more impersonal could you get to a small town kid in the big city in 1993 that doesn't even know why he's wearing flannel?
Posted
11/10/2006 05:10:00 PM
by Douglas
The governor was talking about electricity that day — specifically 11 coal-fired plants proposed by TXU — and the bureaucrats he challenged weren’t those in Washington but the ones in the state government. Perry stood shoulder-to-shoulder with John Wilder, TXU’s CEO, when he made the pronouncement.Problem #1: Texas needs power, and need power plants. Problem #2: The governor is standing "shoulder to shoulder" with the CEO of a company that's going to benefit from his executive order circumventing laws set in place to oversee the construction of power plants. Can you say conflict of interest? What about the environment? One of the major issues dividing the candidates is the potential effect on the environment. TXU and the governor say the coal-fired plants would dramatically increase the state’s power output and not hurt air quality. They cite a state-sponsored study showing that after factoring in other utility commitments, average ozone levels in Dallas and Fort Worth would decline with the new plants.Decrease ozone levels in D/FW with new plants? Either I'm reading that wrong or I'm just plain stupid. Hell, I'll admit to both. But here's where this story gets just plain wacky in election year politics: Bell said Texas should set a goal of producing 15 percent of its energy from renewable sources by 2015.And then there's Friedman has said the state should produce 20 percent of its energy from renewable sources by 2020.If only there were a candidate that advocated 17.5% of Texas' energy came form renewable sources by 2017. June, 2017, as long as you're sticking with the arbitrary date and percentage paradigm. But here's where this article goes off the deep end: “The debate on global warming is over,” and “carbon dioxide from SUVs and local coal-fired utilities is causing a steady uptick in the thermometer.”How bloody convenient. No other source of global warming but SUVs and coal. So. . . . The veracious need of electrical power is going to be supplied only by those that kill dolphins and Texas air quality? Give me a freakin' break. This is a big question. Texas can't have more people without more power, and obviously the air quality of Houston, D/FW, Austin and San Antone have just about reached their choking point. So what now? Ida know, but not supplying power, as politically murderous as it would have been for Gov. Goodhair, seems like it might have been an avenue worth exploring. Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Posted
11/08/2006 05:42:00 PM
by Douglas
After years of defending his secretary of defense, President Bush on Wednesday announced Donald H. Rumsfeld's resignation within hours of the Democrats' triumph in congressional elections. Bush reached back to his father's administration to tap a former CIA director to run the Pentagon.Politically convenient for Bush, but I know the real reason. Rumsfeld wanted to take more time off now that Britney's single again.
Posted
11/08/2006 05:35:00 PM
by Douglas
After talking at Cambridge recently about the preponderance of the eastern front and the scale of the Red Army’s triumph, I was accosted by an angry young British historian. “Don’t you realise that we were pinning down 56 German divisions in France alone,” he said. “Without that the Red Army would have been heavily defeated.” What is less acknowledged is that without the Red Army pulverising 150 divisions, the allies would never have landed.Well, duh. One of Hitler's biggest follies is fighting the mulit-front war, regardless of who is on the other side of those fronts. But American conscripts in France in the West Vs. Russians in the East, defending their homes? Is there any real comparison? When Churchill was writing in the late 1940s, he knew perfectly well that Stalin was no angel. Yet the sheer scale and variety of Stalinist crimes was not known. The statistic of 27m Soviet “war losses”, which appeared in the 1960s, concealed the fact that many of them were not Russians and many were victims not of Hitler but of Stalin. It has taken the collapse of the Soviet Union and more than 60 years for this body of certainty to accumulate.So, what's the moral to the story? We should have stayed out of FDR's war? Soviet Russia and Germany, both with their genocide, concentration camps and mass murder, would have flung themselves at each other had not The Bright Shining Beacon of Democracy, America, intervened? Who knows. I'm no historian, nor do I have a book to push. Germany fell, the Soviets took control of Eastern Europe for the next 50 years, anyway, so I can't imagine anything worse from the fallout of our abstention of WWII. I'm sure 420,000 dead Americans might beg to differ. Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Posted
11/07/2006 05:48:00 PM
by Douglas
FedEx, the American freight and logistics company, on Tuesday canceled an order for 10 Airbus A380 superjumbo jets, becoming the first customer to abandon the plane in the wake of the production delays that have shaken the European company.Suck it, commies. How 'bout building a plane someone wants?
Posted
11/07/2006 05:04:00 PM
by Douglas
The pop princess filed for divorce Tuesday from her husband, former backup dancer and aspiring rapper Kevin Federline.If those two crazy kids can't make it happen in this work-a-day world, what chance do the rest of us have? Monday, November 06, 2006
Posted
11/06/2006 05:47:00 PM
by Douglas
Posted
11/06/2006 05:40:00 PM
by Douglas
Posted
11/06/2006 05:24:00 PM
by Douglas
China's foreign exchange reserves have topped the 1.0 trln usd level, state television CCTV said.Another sad footnote as the world's manufacturing base slips quietly to the east. There are just so many hamburgers that we can manufacture. Reference; Empires: Greek, Roman, Portuguese, Spanish, British, American.
Posted
11/06/2006 05:03:00 PM
by Douglas
Hundreds of US soldiers have signed a petition calling for a troop withdrawal from Iraq and the document is to be formally presented to Congress in January, organizers said.At the very least, a bit of dissention in the ranks. Only slightly less effective than not signing up in the first place. Thursday, November 02, 2006
Posted
11/02/2006 05:36:00 PM
by Douglas
"If you think that, you have another think coming" means "You are mistaken and will soon have to alter your opinion". This is now sometimes heard with "thing" in place of "think", but "think" is the older version. Eric Partridge, in A Dictionary of Catch Phrases, gives the phrase as "you have another guess coming", "US: since the 1920s, if not a decade or two earlier". Clearly "think" is closer to "guess" than "thing" is. The OED gives a citation with "think" from 1937, and no evidence for "thing". Merriam-Webster Editorial Department writes: "When an informal poll was conducted here at Merriam-Webster, about 60% of our editors favored 'thing' over 'think,' a result that runs counter to our written evidence."Webster was the biggest pirate of the King's English before the days of Elvis. It's high time we brought some honour back to the language.
Posted
11/02/2006 05:10:00 PM
by Douglas
A classified briefing prepared two weeks ago by the United States Central Command portrays Iraq as edging toward chaos, in a chart that the military is using as a barometer of civil conflict.Color codes. . . always with the color codes with this administration. From threat levels to their self-described chaos levels in Baghdad, you gotta love the gross oversimplification of a complex problem.
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