Posted 3/29/2007 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

I'm no tele-journalists, but isn't it normally customary, when doing a "hard-hitting, undercover piece" to inform law enforcement if you could be treading close to doing something illegal? Not this chick.

The TV reporter stood a few feet away from the newborn baby and the nurse caring for the child at Northwest Texas Hospital in Amarillo.

But the investigative story she was pursuing at the facility and neighboring Baptist St. Anthony's Hospital on Tuesday night eventually led someone to pay almost $10,000 in bonds for her to leave the Potter County Detention Center about a half-day later.

Amarillo police arrested Cecelia Lynn Coy-Jones, 33, of Lubbock, who works for the NBC affiliate KCBD Newschannel 11 in Lubbock, on suspicion of two counts of attempted aggravated kidnapping Tuesday as she pursued an investigative story about nursery security at the two hospitals.

"She was doing an investigative thing about checking our security," said Sgt. Randy TenBrink of the Amarillo Police Department. "I guess she found out it is pretty good."

The quote of the freakin' year. I hope she has to pay her own bail, friggin' dumbarse.

Posted 3/28/2007 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

Man, what a junkyard. I'd love to go prowling around in this crap for a while.

Posted 3/28/2007 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

Oh no, not Skidboot?!?

Skidboot, a working ranch dog and television celebrity who wowed crowds at the State Fair of Texas, has died. He was 14.

Skidboot's health had declined for several years after he was kicked in the head by a horse and blinded in one eye. He was euthanized Sunday.

The dog, half Australian blue heeler and half "chef's surprise," was buried under an oak tree on the Quinlan ranch of David and Barbara Hartwig.

"What a wonderful life of fourteen years he lived! Never has a last minute, second-thought Christmas gift ever shone so brightly as Skidboot," the Hartwigs said on Skidboot's Web site.

On Christmas Eve 1992, David Hartwig was given the puppy by a neighboring rancher as a last-minute Christmas gift for his wife.

In 2003, Skidboot won the $25,000 top prize during the Pet Star competition on "Animal Planet." That led to appearances on the Oprah Winfrey, David Letterman and Jay Leno television shows.

"I'm just very empty," Barbara Hartwig said in Wednesday editions of The Dallas Morning News. "He was something special. He just had a special spirit."

The Hartwigs asked that Skidboot's fans remember him with a donation to an animal shelter.

That is really some dog. Check out his video here.

Posted 3/27/2007 11:28:00 PM by Douglas

Don't mess with Texans.

Criminals in Texas beware: if you threaten someone in their car or office, the citizens of this state where guns are ubiquitous have the right to shoot you dead.

Governor Rick Perry's office said on Tuesday that he had signed a new law that expands Texans' existing right to use deadly force to defend themselves "without retreat" in their homes, cars and workplaces.

"The right to defend oneself from an imminent act of harm should not only be clearly defined in Texas law, but is intuitive to human nature," Perry said on his Web site.

The law extends a person's right to stand their ground beyond the home to vehicles and workplaces, allowing the reasonable use of deadly force, the governor's office said.

The reasonable use of lethal force will be allowed if an intruder is:

• Committing certain violent crimes, such as murder or sexual assault, or is attempting to commit such crimes
• Unlawfully trying to enter a protected place
• Unlawfully trying to remove a person from a protected place

The law also provides civil immunity for a person who lawfully slays an intruder or attacker in such situations.

Let's stand by and watch as all the criminal elements in Texas become aware of this law, and criminals haul their asses to more deserving, unsuspecting states. Like New Mexico.

Posted 3/27/2007 05:57:00 PM by Douglas

Ah, Clear Lake, Texas. Where the water isn't clear, it smells like sewage, and the fish contain dangerous levels of mercury.

The advisory by the Texas Department of State Health Services is for freshwater drum and largemouth bass from Clear Lake and Hills Lake and bowfin from Clear Lake.

Adults and children 12 and older should eat no more than two 8-ounce servings per month of the fish. Children younger than 12 shouldn't eat more than two 4-ounce servings per month. Pregnant women, women who could become pregnant and breast-feeding mothers are advised against eating the fish, the department said.

Health officials issued the warning after lab tests detected elevated levels of mercury in the three species. The testing was done after the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department alerted health officials to the possibility of elevated mercury levels, said Doug McBride, a State Health Services spokesman.

Yummy! Why anyone would put their big toe into and/or eat anything that came out of that sewer is totally beyond me.

Posted 3/27/2007 05:00:00 PM by Douglas

Is it at least possible that the "community" could stop using the horrific death of a young girl to get their freakin' name in the paper? She's dead, and the circumstances around her death are horrible. So is it necessary for all these groups to come out to say the Harris County Sherriff's Office is racist? I think not.

Community activists this morning urged the Harris County Sheriff's Office to begin searching a landfill where the remains of a 19-year-old Texas A&M University student could be buried.

"Without a thorough search of the landfill.... we don't know if they can make the case," said Robert Muhammad of the Nation of Islam.

Muhammad was speaking of the case against Timothy Shepherd, who was charged Wednesday with murder in the death of Tynesha Stewart. Investigators said he confessed to choking Stewart. He then dismembered her and burned the parts on the patio at his northwest Harris County apartment, according to investigators.

Come. On. He freakin' BBQed her. There's not much left. The county is going to go sifting through 40,000 tons of garbage to find BBQ refuse? In Houston? Come on. Try to find 20 pounds of Houston garbage that doesn't have some kind of BBQ in it. That's your proverbial needle in a haystack, as it were.

Still, thanks be unto the Nation of Islam for dragging this story out and making it even more sordid than it already is.

Posted 3/26/2007 05:59:00 PM by Douglas

Here's the Peyton Manning video, actually from SNL this time. I guess this one's OK. Still funny.

Posted 3/26/2007 05:46:00 PM by Douglas

Here's a good question: If Bob Novak is writing about how the Republicans are jumping ship from the current adiminstration, what hope do they have?

The I-word (incompetence) is also used by Republicans in describing the Bush administration generally. Several of them I talked to cited a trifecta of incompetence: the Walter Reed hospital scandal, the FBI's misuse of the USA Patriot Act and the U.S. attorneys firing fiasco. "We always have claimed that we were the party of better management," one House leader told me. "How can we claim that anymore?"

He's Bob freakin' Novak!?!

Posted 3/26/2007 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

No one would ever rejoice at the thought of someone losing their home, but with all the headlines about "sub-prime" lending going on, I just can't help but wonder, does anyone even make an attempt to read what they're signing?

Eventually, they combined to make around $55,000 a year.

[. . . ]

It cost $204,000. "We thought we were getting a deal," Tim says.

The agent said he'd find them a mortgage, no money down. The Snearys say they never thought to shop around.

Again, this is the bank's fault?

The Snearys say they expected to borrow at a fixed rate of 6.5 percent. That would put monthly payments at about $1,290, a little more than rent.

$1,300? And they make $55,000? First off, they haven't paid any taxes or insurance yet, but that's another story. They plan to spend roughly a third of their take-home salary on their house? AND they've got three kids AND they haven't eaten yet. It's easy to see that this problem isn't of the big bad bank but rather people that overbought houses they can't afford.

Looking back, Tim wishes they'd asked more questions or considered walking out. But everything was in boxes, and they'd given notice. So they eyed each other nervously, and agreed to work more hours. Then, they signed the papers.

What a moron. I'm not advocating taking advantage of people that are desperate for a house and are too stupid to read the papers and/or ask questions. But come on. The reaction to this is simply going to be more draconian legislation on top of stupid rules and regulations for an industry we already know is riddled with thieves. I just can't imagine how more laws are going to make this better.

For example, what about the couple that bought the house as an investment and were going to "flip it" in two years? They don't care what the interest rate is going to be, because they plan to sell it, anyway? Should they be forced to suffer high interest rates because people that really need a different loan than they need are too stupid to read the fine print?

Sadly, we know the answer to that one.

Posted 3/25/2007 10:40:00 PM by Douglas

When you're all set to complain about uncomfortable shoes, why don't you just go ahead and shut your fucking pie-hole.

Zhou Guizhen, who is 86-years-old, shows one of her bound feet where the bones in the four small toes were broken and forced underneath the foot over a period of time, at her home in Liuyi village in China's southern Yunnan Province, February 2007. Villages in China where women with bound feet survive are increasingly rare but the millennium-old practice nevertheless took almost four decades to eradicate after it was initially banned in 1911.

Ouch.

OK, ladies, when you're all set to say that Western American Culture™ is the denigrator of all feministic values, please, for the sake of your sisters, remember, the half billion Chinese. And Muslim. And Africans. And South Americans. And Indians. Pretty much any place that doesn't give women an opportunity to be outraged by this crap. . . Yeah, cry for them, because they don't have the luxury to know the discomfort of a 6" stiletto. If only.

Posted 3/25/2007 05:45:00 PM by Douglas

Just so ya know, I had absolutely nothing to do with this.

Posted 3/25/2007 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

Peyton Manning on SNL last night. I laughed my arse off. View it quick before the nazis at NBC yank it off youtube.

Posted 3/25/2007 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

What a bizarre, sick, and twisted tale of a lover scorned. I've been trying to keep up, but it's a bit difficult, so I'll try to start from where I first noticed this story. A college student was missing, and the suspect in her disappearance claimed he murdered her and put her body in a dumpster. Ok, not too uncommon, right? Well, since the victim is black, the Harris country sheriff's office are all a bunch of racists because they don't want to displace 40,000 tons of garbage and still not find her.

Faced with the "virtually impossible" task of excavating 40,000 tons of landfill waste to find Tynesha Stewart's body, Harris County sheriff's officials tonight made the agonizing decision that the odds of success were too remote to try.

The 504-acre landfill in northeast Harris County receives about 3,500 tons of "non-hazardous residential, commercial and industrial waste" every day. And although officials have narrowed their search area to a 2-3 acre section at the landfill, they said the body could be buried beneath as much as 40,000 tons of refuse.

"It's not 100 percent impossible, but it's very, very very rare to find what you are looking for," said Chuck Rivette, senior district manager for Waste Management, which owns one of the two landfills investigators are focusing on.

He added, "It's virtually impossible."

But the Sherriff's office is racist because she's black?!? OK, fair 'nuff. How long did it take them to reverse themselves because of media pressure and to avoid the perception of racism? About a day.

Law-enforcement officials reversed themselves Friday, saying they probably would launch a search of Houston's overflowing landfills in hopes of finding the remains of a local Texas A&M University student whose ex-boyfriend confessed to killing her.

Investigators say Timothy Wayne Shepherd, 27, confessed Wednesday to strangling 19-year-old Tynesha Stewart, who disappeared last week. Shepherd, who is charged with murder and being held on $250,000 bond, apparently was angry that Stewart had begun seeing someone else.

Officials first thought that Shepherd had disposed of the body in a large commercial trash bin that had since been emptied, but they now believe Stewart's body was dismembered, placed in various containers, and scattered in several trash bins, making recovery even more difficult.

OK, but at least they're not racist, right? Well, it gets even more disgusting. The suspect in this case (who happens to be black) did some pretty nasty things to the body of this young girl, and "separate dumpsters" is the least of their worries.

Harris County Sheriff' Tommy Thomas announced Saturday night there will be no search for the body of Tynesha Stewart, the 19-year-old Texas A&M student who was murdered March 15.

``There are no remaining body parts,'' Thomas said at a press conference. ``We have determined through this investigation that the defendant dismembered the victim and burned her body parts. There is no body to be found. Based on that information, there will be no search. The family is aware of this and they understand.''

Thomas, who called on local media to give the Stewart family privacy, said Timothy Wayne Shepherd burned Stewart's body in a barbecue grill on his patio at his apartment in the 17700 block of Red Oak in northwest Harris County.

What?!? Everyone's had their heart broke at least once, but a damn BBQ grill? I know some women that I'd personally like to see suffer, but I'm not gonna chop 'em up and serve them with some A-1. That goes ahead and blows regular crazy right off the map! But it gets weirder (if that's possible):

Shepherd's neighbors said Saturday that last week he was barbecuing at all hours of the day, for days at a time, at his apartment, No. 224.

James Hebert, 18, often played video games and barbecued with his ``nice'' next-door neighbor. In fact, they cooked out together so frequently Hebert kept his grill at Shepherd's place.

Awkward. . . .

But starting on March 15 , he noticed Shepherd was cooking - on his own grill and on Hebert's pit - ``non-stop`` for two days.

This time, however, Shepherd hadn't invited him over, nor did he share.

Be glad, buddy. Be glad he didn't share or invite you over.

When he asked for some of what he was cooking, Shepherd refused, saying he was cooking for a wedding.

Or a funeral.

Anyway you slice it (damn, sorry, that was bad) this is a horrible, horrible story. Who know what kind of demons lurk in this young man's mind to facilitate such a hideous act and have the foresight to try to cover it up. But I hope we've all learned something from this one:

• Girls, sometime when you break up with someone, they really are crazy. Be careful!
• Cops, just because you can't fly to the moon for a victim, it doesn't mean you're a racist. Necessarily.
• Quannel X, just because you can smell a TV camera rolling, doesn't mean you need to show up and pontificate in front of it.
• Friends and neighbors, if your "grill buddy" is suddenly grilling for 24 solid hours and not only not inviting you, but trying to keep you away, something might be up.

Now, I hope we've all learned something. Now let's focus our attention to what Anna Nicole is doing. . . .

Posted 3/25/2007 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

How NOT to take a Galveston cruise:

Two passengers who fell overboard from a cruise ship spent four hours in the water early today before being rescued, said officials with the cruise line.

The Grand Princess was 150 miles from Galveston about 1:30 a.m. when the victims, a 22-year-old man and 20-year-old woman, fell from a cabin balcony.

The cruise line did not know how the couple fell overboard, although it appears to have been an accident, said Julie Benson, a spokesman for Princess Cruises.

When alerted about the incident, the ship returned to the position where they fell into the water. Rescue boats from the Grand Princess began searching for the man and woman.

The search was aided by the Coast Guard, said Lt. j.g. Jillian Lamb at the District 8 Command Center. A nearby cruise ship also offered assistance, she said.

One person was found about 5:30 a.m. and the second about a half-hour later. Both were reported to have received minor injuries, but were in satisfactory condition and being examined by the ship's medical staff, officials said.

Come on, folks?!? Only 150 miles off coast and you're already so drunk you're spending the next four hours bobbin' around in the drink? At least wait 'till you're out in the middle of the gulf so the coast guard can't find out. Or maybe you can get to the bottom of the dolphin death controversy. Literally. The bottom.

Posted 3/22/2007 10:19:00 PM by Douglas

Who knew that "good old Woody" on Cheers had a father with such a checkered past. Forget checkers, this guy was into some heavy duty chess.

Charles Voyde Harrelson, the hired assassin of a San Antonio federal judge, professional gambler and father of actor Woody Harrelson, died last week in the maximum-security cell where he was serving two life sentences.

The hitman was 69 when he died March 14 of a heart attack in the Colorado federal prison known as Supermax. His cremated remains now await pickup at a Colorado mortuary.

Harrelson had reportedly claimed a dozen contract killings by 1982 when he was convicted of firing the sniper's bullet that killed U.S. District Judge John H. Wood outside his San Antonio townhome.

"Anyone whose life he touched suffered from it," said Assistant U.S. Attorney Ray Jahn, one of the federal prosecutors who convicted Harrelson in the local federal courthouse that by the time of trial already bore the name of the slain judge.

How weird is that? You just can't make this stuff up.

Posted 3/22/2007 10:14:00 PM by Douglas

Hurricane Season 2007! Get your tickets early!

The Atlantic hurricane season will be exceptionally active this year, according to a British forecasting group, raising the possibility that killer storms like Hurricane Katrina could again threaten the United States.

Could being the operative word in that sentence. If my aunt had a dick, she could be my uncle (sorry, Peggie).

London-based forecaster Tropical Storm Risk on Tuesday said the six-month season, which begins on June 1, was expected to bring 17 tropical storms, of which nine will strengthen into hurricanes with winds of at least 74 miles per hour.

The United States emerged unscathed from the 2006 season after it spawned a below-average nine storms, of which five became hurricanes. Experts had universally -- and erroneously -- predicted 2006 would be a busy year for Atlantic storms.

Yeah, but what's the fun in under predicting? Under predicting doesn't scare the crap out of old people, or sell insurance policies. Fucking wankers.

Labels: hurricanes

Posted 3/22/2007 09:56:00 PM by Douglas

I've said it before, it ain't the FAA that wants to keep you from using your cell phone on an airplane. It's the FCC:

The chairman of the Federal Communications Commission said Thursday that the agency is considering dropping a proposal that would have lifted the ban on in-flight cell phone use.

The commission began considering removal of the ban in late 2004.

FCC Chair Kevin Martin told reporters after a board meeting Thursday that the wireless telecommunications industry indicated in recent comments to the FCC that mobile phone calls in flying planes would interfere with their networks on the ground.

Now if I only could get the annoying flight attendant to stop saying "please turn off your portable electronic devices that interfere with the plane's avionics, and of course, cell phones must remain off for the duration of the flight." How 'bout a more truthful announcement: "Your cell phone has no capacity to interfere with this plane's avionics, but I have to tell you to turn it off because I'm a defacto agent for the federal government and your I must assist your cell phone company in screwing you like a whore on payday."

Posted 3/21/2007 11:50:00 PM by Douglas

Mad TV hasn't been funny since, well, ever, but this one is spot on.

Posted 3/21/2007 11:37:00 PM by Douglas

Tulia the movie. Coming soon to a small Texas town near you.

Billy Bob Thornton is re-teaming with his one time co-star Halle Berry for a new movie. The actor, who starred with Berry in "Monster's Ball," has signed on for Lionsgate's "Tulia."

The crime-drama is centered on an ACLU attorney who tries to reveal the corruption surrounding drug convictions in Tulia, Texas, in 1999.

If only every abuse of power in the name of keeping people from getting high made it to the big screen.

Posted 3/21/2007 11:34:00 PM by Douglas

Cool Mars panorama. I wonder what JPL decided to "black out" of the shots? Do they think there's top secret info there that would allow us all to build our very own Mars rovers?

Posted 3/21/2007 11:24:00 PM by Douglas

Another interesting video about how the Federal Reserve is screwing you out of all the money you've saved for yourself to finance their stupid war(s). It kinda starts out slow (is there anyone that doesn't understand the 'barter system' that can use a keyboard?) but gets more interesting as the United States central bank gets firmly established in 1913, and as the gold standard is totally eroded because (surprise!) the government can't borrow enough money for wars without devaluing our (your) currency to pay for them.

So pay off those credit cards and sleep tight, America. Think of all the fun you'll have spending that $100,000 that cost you $1Million to save!

[Thanks, long-time reader!]

Labels: Federal reserve

Posted 3/21/2007 11:10:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting video, by BBC4 no less, saying human created CO2 and global warming might be politically motivated.

Ida know, dude, but if you believe that your Honda doesn’t contribute to global warming while listening to NPR, you're a freakin' hypocritical idiot.

Labels: global warming

Posted 3/21/2007 10:57:00 PM by Douglas

Gore pleads to congress for attention to global warming with his worst analogy ever.

Gore insisted that the link is beyond dispute and is the source of broad agreement in the scientific community.

"The planet has a fever," Gore said. "If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don't say, `Well, I read a science fiction novel that told me it's not a problem.' If the crib's on fire, you don't speculate that the baby is flame retardant. You take action."

Let's say I agree with Al Gore (I don’t) that global warming is the single biggest threat to mankind in the 21st centry. Would somoene please get Al Gore to shut his fucking pie hole about it so someone with less tainted credibility could give such a pressing issue the attention it deserves?

Labels: global warming

Posted 3/21/2007 10:56:00 PM by Douglas

Next shuttle launch in May. Or, Maybe not.

NASA managers won’t decide until next month exactly when to try launching Atlantis on the year’s first space shuttle mission, giving technicians more time to assess hail damage to its external fuel tank, officials said Wednesday.

The current plan means the launch couldn't take place until mid-May at the earliest.

f NASA decides to use the current tank, Atlantis might be ready for liftoff in the latter part of a launch window that lasts until May 21, said Wayne Hale, space shuttle program manager. But if NASA decides to use another tank, that would push back the launch to no earlier than June 8, when the next window opens. Between those dates, the sun's position is unsuitable for the shuttle to be docked at the station.

No hurry, guys.

Posted 3/21/2007 10:52:00 PM by Douglas

Rest in peace, Bud.

Calvert DeForest, the roly-poly character actor with the black-framed glasses and seemingly clueless delivery who developed a cult following as Larry "Bud" Melman on "Late Night with David Letterman" in the 1980s, has died. He was 85.

DeForest, who continued appearing with Letterman under his own name after the late-night comedian moved to CBS in the early 1990s and last appeared on the show in 2002, died Monday in a hospital in Babylon, Long Island, N.Y. after a long illness, said a spokesman for Worldwide Pants, which produces "The Late Show With David Letterman."

"Everyone always wondered if Calvert was an actor playing a character, but in reality he was just himself--a genuine, modest and nice man," Letterman said in a statement Wednesday. "To our staff and to our viewers, he was a beloved and valued part of our show, and we will miss him."

He was comedy gold that did a lot to carry Dave in the lean years before and after his exodus from NBC. He was more than a "nice man" as Dave put it: He's an inspiration to smart-asses everywhere!

Posted 3/21/2007 10:47:00 PM by Douglas

Can't we somehow blame this on canned tuna or six-pack rings?

An unusually high number of dead dolphins washed ashore in Galveston and Jefferson counties led federal officials Tuesday to issue a rare declaration, calling the deaths an "unusual mortality event."

At least 60 beached dolphin corpses were discovered in the two counties this month compared with nine during the same month last year, said Blair Mase, marine mammal stranding coordinator for the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration, which has launched a special investigation into the matter.

About 180 dolphins are beached during the stranding season all along the Texas coast during a normal year, but this year nearly all the strandings have been limited to Galveston and Jefferson counties.

Scientists so far have no explanation for the high numbers turning up in only two counties.

"We really don't have a prime suspect," Watts said.

Most of the bodies were partially decomposed, leading scientists to believe that the dolphins were dying at sea off the Louisiana coast.

Ok, that's kinda creepy. Maybe they all decided to drink the Kool-aid?

Posted 3/21/2007 10:38:00 PM by Douglas

Apparently, the "Oasis of love" doesn't extend to Continental flights.

The attorney for a flight attendant whose lawsuit accuses the wife of Lakewood Church pastor Joel Osteen of assault wants to photograph the inside of the plane where the incident occurred.

The lawsuit, filed in September, accuses Victoria Osteen of pushing Sharon Brown, a Continental Airlines flight attendant, and elbowing her in the chest.

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Elbow in the chest? Whatever happened to the time honored hip-check?

Brown says the confrontation occurred as Osteen approached the cockpit and demanded to speak with someone in charge.

Victoria Osteen denies the allegations, said her attorney, Rusty Hardin. "Victoria never assaulted her or raised her voice," said Hardin, who previously has called the lawsuit a "ridiculous" attempt to get money from a woman whose husband is the pastor of Houston's largest church.

Good 'ole Rusty "screw you" Hardin. I've been wondering what he's been up to now that Anna's dead.

Posted 3/21/2007 10:30:00 PM by Douglas

MADD is at it again, trying to keep the street of Houston safe. But when is arresting almost 5,000 people (at an average profit to the city at $25 million) just not enough?

Diepraam and several Houston police officers who work the streets said it can be difficult to get Harris County juries to convict defendants accused of driving while intoxicated.

HPD Sgt. Paul LaSalle said that in murder or rape trials, there are not jury members who have committed the same crime. On a DWI jury, there might be jurors who have driven while intoxicated, he noted.

Because unlike driving at 0.08% BAL, rape and murder are real fucking crimes! Maybe some reasonable [gasp!] person on the jury had three beers on his way home from work on Thursday and doesn't think his life should be ruined because of it and exercises some judgment on the person accused of the same.

Just a thought.

Posted 3/21/2007 10:22:00 PM by Douglas

Speaking of Texans and their guns, um, don't mess with Texas.

It's not official yet, but Texas is likely to join the ranks of 15 other states where a person can shoot an intruder or a perceived attacker, be it at his home, workplace or automobile.

That's because with little opposition Tuesday the House of Representatives gave the final approval to a Senate bill that extends the current "castle doctrine" under which a homeowner has the right to protect himself and his family from an intruder.

"We feel this is a good bill," Rep. Joe Driver, R-Garland, said after the House voted 133-13 in favor of Senate Bill 378, which is similar to his own House Bill 284. "This basically says that Texans have the right to defend themselves without having to worry that they will be prosecuted." Driver had said in an earlier interview that he opted to push for the Senate's bill, authored by Sen. Jeff Wentworth, R-San Antonio, because it would ensure quick passage since the upper chamber had already approved it last week. The bill is the second that the Legislature has sent to Gov. Rick Perry for his signature and the governor is expected to sign it.

The entire Panhandle and South Plains delegation voted for the legislation on grounds that Texans need to know that they don't have to retreat when threatened.

Keep in mind: A reasonable Texan "never retreats."

Posted 3/21/2007 10:06:00 PM by Douglas

Ever since Texas began issuing permits to carry concealed handguns, I've always wondered about the signs business have put up saying you can't carry. Can all Texas law be negated by a properly posted sign? But I get it, it's private property, and if that office park doesn't want me to have a gun in my car, that's their property and their business. Until now.

A Senate panel on Tuesday approved a bill, fiercely opposed by businesses, that gives workers the right to lock concealed handguns in their cars, even if the parking lot is owned by their employer.

While businesses testified the bill undermines their private property rights, supporters said those rights must be balanced against the safety rights of licensed concealed handgun owners.

"It just says, whether it's a public or private employer, you cannot discipline, discharge or discriminate against an employee who has a handgun in the parking lot," said Rep. Glenn Hegar, R-Katy, author of the bill.

The bill calls for reinstatement of an employee with back pay if an employer fires them for locking a concealed handgun in their car.

Likewise, workers are required to notify their employer that they carry guns in their cars.

Also, ten seconds after your annual performance evaluation isn't the time to inform your employer of that fact. It just kinda looks bad.

This kind of law is as pointless as it is divisive. No one's going to care (or know) if you've got a gun under your seat 'till you use it. If you use like a hero, you'll get your picture in the paper; act like an idiot, and you go to jail anyway. You don't need a permit to do either of these things.

Posted 3/19/2007 09:44:00 AM by Douglas

I'll admit I'm no legal scholar, nor have I ever been mistaken for one, but as a "blogger," I have certain opinions, and legal questions are bound to be included with them. For example, the death penalty. I think in a black & white world I have to come down against, it, but I live in Texas and I can't say that it really bothers me. If the circumstances of your crimes are used as a determining factor during sentencing and decide whether or not you get the cyanide drip or life in prison, I think the sheer idiocy of your crimes should be taken into account, too. For example, if you murder four people for $17. That's just stupid. And for another example, this guy.

The 26-year-old man accused of killing a Texas Parks and Wildlife game warden was moved to the Harris County jail Sunday and was charged with capital murder of a police officer.

James Garrett Freeman, of Lissie, is accused of killing Justin Hurst, 34, during a shootout Saturday when officers were trying to arrest him as an illegal-hunting suspect.

[. . .]

The events that led to Hurst's death began late Friday night or early Saturday morning when a warden, suspecting that Freeman was poaching, approached his vehicle. Freeman fled, and a chase ensued.

Hurst and officers with the Wharton County Sheriff's Office and the Texas Department of Public Safety were called in as backup. After a lengthy pursuit, the DPS stopped Freeman, and heavy gunfire was exchanged.

"Heavy gunfire?!?" From a guy that was probably poaching on the side of the road? What an idiot. Now a four month old boy will never know his father because this guy had a shoot-out over what would have been a misdemeanor. Now, it's capital murder. Way to go, dumbass.

Posted 3/17/2007 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Scenes from New Mexico:

Yeah, I'm awesome. How 'bout you?

I don't know what made me laugh about this one. But it just did:

I'll never be able to look at the 20 MPH U-turn without thinking of the poor emos.

Posted 3/15/2007 10:33:00 PM by Douglas

I knew the army was desperate for warm bodies, but this is a bit of a stretch.

Polls show that the war in Iraq is not popular, and some lawmakers are demanding that US troops pull out, so the Army is trying a unique way to recruit. CBS 2’s Mai Martinez reports on the latest war game: Paintball.

CPX Sports in Joliet looks like the perfect playground for paintball players, but army recruiters see something much different: a field of potential new recruits.

"We probably gain about 50 leads from people interested in the Army each time we come out," said Maj. Levie Conway, U.S. Army Recruiter.

Meh, on second thought, it's perfect. What a perfect way to preserve Rumsfeld's legacy of getting "the army they have, not the army they want."

Has anyone seen The Last Starfighter? What a great marketing idea for the Army: Score 400,000 points on SOCOM: Navy Seals and guess what? You're a real soldier getting an invite to the big dance.

Posted 3/15/2007 10:29:00 PM by Douglas

Hey Rahm Emanuel: you know by doing this, it only makes you look like you're scared to match wits with a basic-cable guy that's making fun of other basic-cable idiots.

Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.), the Democratic Caucus chairman, has told new Democratic members of Congress to steer clear of Stephen Colbert, or at least his satirical Comedy Central program, “The Colbert Report.”

“He said don’t do it … it’s a risk and it’s probably safer not to do it,” said Rep. Steve Cohen. But the freshman lawmaker from Tennessee taped a segment that last week was featured in the 32nd installment of the “Better Know a District” series. Colbert asked Cohen whether he was a black woman. He isn’t.

If only the White House had listened to Emanuel's sage advice before Colbert tore them a new one.

Posted 3/15/2007 10:20:00 PM by Douglas

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And FEMA trailers:

Stored in such places as the vacant land near an airfield in Hope, Ark., an industrial park in Cumberland, Md., and a warehouse in Edison, N.J., are the results of one of the federal government's costliest stumbles in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina -- tens of thousands of empty trailers.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency hurriedly bought 145,000 trailers and mobile homes just before and after Katrina hit, spending $2.7 billion largely through no-bid contracts. Now, it is selling off as many as 41,000 of the homes, netting, so far, about 40 cents on each dollar spent by taxpayers.

You're doin' a heckuva job, there, FEMA. They should just give them to Wal-Mart for 50¢ on the dollar. I bet they could turn a profit on them.

Posted 3/15/2007 10:17:00 PM by Douglas

So I'm in a nationally franchised fast-food sandwich establishment named for a particular mass transit system that's virtually unknown to the majority of Americans. I step up to pay for my sandwich when I'm asked if I would "like to make it a meal" with the additional purchase of chips and a drink. I still don't understand what part of the empty calories of potato chips and a coke make a sandwich a "meal", but I was in the mood for some carbonated corn syrup, so I reply, "just give me a small drink." Her answer really surprised me.

"We don't have small."

"Ok, what do you have," I asked, as I glanced down at three differently sized cups that were no less than six inches from where my gaping stare lie fixed on her confused, vacuous face.

"We have medium, large and extra-large."

Ok, whatever, I know I’m not going to get anywhere with this one, but as she was ringing me out I point to the smallest of the three cups and say "so I guess this is the small now, since you still have three and this one is the smallest, right?"

"No, the small we used to have was smaller than that."

"But you don't have it anymore, right?

"Huh?"

Everyone is entitled to their own personal Spinal Tap moment, because in this girl's mind, that extra-large cup went to eleven.

Posted 3/15/2007 10:15:00 PM by Douglas

Wonderfully prophetic propaganda video from 1933 with Jimmy Durante extolling the benefits of socialism. Don't miss his salute to Dur Furher. But as has been noted, there's not a lot of difference, programmatically, between FDR's new deal, Hitler's National Socialism, and "Uncle Joe" Stalin's Communism.

Posted 3/15/2007 10:08:00 PM by Douglas

Denny's should somehow incorporate this marketing plan into their early-bird special.

A brothel in Germany hopes to capitalize on the growing number of retirees by offering them a 50 percent discount for sex in the afternoon.

The "Pascha" in the western city of Cologne has introduced reduced rates for sex sessions for clients aged 66 and above -- provided they can prove they are old enough.

"All clients need to do is show us some proof of age," said a spokesman for the brothel's managing director Armin Lobscheid. "A 'normal session' costs 50 euros with us -- and we're now paying 50 percent of that for these older guests."

"We don't earn as much money, but we're establishing ourselves across a broader range of age groups," he added.

After testing the water with reductions for senior citizens once a week, the Pascha decided earlier this month to offer 50 percent off sex services between midday and 5 p.m every day.

"There's been plenty of demand and people have certainly been taking advantage of the offer," the spokesman said. "Older folks are more active than you think."

The brothel's Web site is keen to stress this point.

"Life begins at 66!" it says in an advert for its "senior citizens afternoon" next to a picture of a motorcycle rider.

Sounds like life beings before 5 p.m. And €25? Shop around, you can't beat that price!

Posted 3/10/2007 11:57:00 AM by Douglas

Another bizarre-o murder-suicide. But then again it's always weird at a strip club.

A man gunned down a topless dancer and then killed himself at a strip club, police said.

The victims were identified by the Tarrant County Medical Examiner's Office as Dante Empie, 26, of Burleson, and Jene Stone, 21, of Cleburne.

Witnesses told police that Empie, a regular customer at the T&A Cabaret, was there for more than an hour Thursday afternoon when he approached a female employee and gave her a note, said Lt. Gene Jones, a Fort Worth police spokesman.

The man then approached Stone, who was in the main stage area, and pulled out a semiautomatic handgun and shot her once. As she lay on the floor, he fired several times, hitting her at least once, Jones said.

A male employee confronted Empie, who started to leave the club. But before he got to the door, he put the gun to his head and fired, Jones said.

As if strippers don't have enough to worry about with their creepy clientele and their nosy thumbs.

Gotta love the name of the place, though: T&A Cabaret? Classic. There's a place in New Mexico called "TD's". Sadly, the wife had to explain the pun. I'm kinda slow.

Posted 3/10/2007 11:53:00 AM by Douglas

The honeymoon is definitely over.

Within two days of their marriage, a Houston man and woman committed suicide in separate incidents downtown.

Nils Aron Andersson, 25, and Cassy Ann Walton, 28, married Monday.

On Tuesday, Andersson was found dead about 2 a.m. in the parking garage of the Lofts at the Ballpark. Police said he died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head at 2120 Texas.

Less than 48 hours later, Walton shot herself as Houston police officers tried to talk to her through the door of her apartment at the Post Rice Lofts, 909 Texas, authorities said.

How bizarre. It usually takes a lot longer time of being married before you want to blow your brains out.

Posted 3/07/2007 05:00:00 PM by Douglas

"Never before have so many people understood so little about so much." What a great BBC Series. I can't remember the first time I saw it, but let's just say I've had a lot of time in a hotel room to myself, and it's as interesting as it was the first time.

And to think this show was 25 years ago. James Burke is a friggin' genius, and way ahead of his time.

Posted 3/06/2007 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

Two obits today. Say what you want about either of their products, but chances are you probably deal with them on a weekly basis. First up, John F. Baugh. It's hard to go to any restaurant anywhere in America and not see his legacy: "Sysco Systems, Houston Texas."

John F. Baugh, the founder of Houston-based Sysco Corp., the nation's largest restaurant food supplier, and a benefactor of Baptist universities, died Monday in San Antonio. He was 91.

Baugh left his job as a grocery store manager in 1946 to start a company distributing frozen peaches and strawberries to bakeries, cafeterias and hospitals. He made the deliveries, while his wife, Eula Mae, managed the books.

The company now claims more than 47,000 employees and more than $30 billion in annual sales, providing everything from napkins to tomatoes to restaurants, schools, hotels and other businesses preparing food outside the home.

If that's not the American Dream™, then I don't know what is.

Next up, anyone that is amused at a cheap drunk with wine that still comes with a cork. That's right, Mr. Gallo himself has transitioned to the $2.99 bin in the sky:

Ernest Gallo, the marketing genius who parlayed a wine recipe from the public library into one of the world's largest winemaking empires, died Tuesday at his home in Modesto. He was 97.

"There was no single person in the country that made such a contribution toward building and developing the U.S. wine industry," said Woodside-based wine analyst Jon Fredrikson.

Gallo, who would have been 98 on March 18, was one of the country's wealthiest men, listed on the Forbes magazine list of the 400 richest Americans with a family worth of $1.3 billion.

Born near Modesto, a then-sleepy San Joaquin Valley town about 80 miles east of San Francisco, Gallo and his late brother and business partner, Julio, grew up working in the vineyard owned by their father, who came to America from Italy's winemaking region of Piedmont.

They founded the E.&J. Gallo Winery in 1933, at the end of Prohibition, using $5,900 borrowed dollars.

The wine industry was virtually nonexistent after years of Prohibition so the brothers went to the library and "started pulling out what few reference books there were on winemaking," recalled Peter Mondavi Jr., co-proprietor of Charles Krug Winery and a member of another influential winemaking family.

Again, the American Dream personified.

Maybe you'd like to make a case for these two gentlemen ensuring that we get the same bland chicken breast from Boise to Baton Rouge served with a Chardonnay that's more like Welch's with a shot of vodka. Ok, that may be fair (then again it may not) but these men saw a gap in the market when they had the cajones to fill it. And for their troubles? A couple of Billion dollars and their names thoughtfully posted here.

Posted 3/05/2007 05:52:00 PM by Douglas

I'm expecting no less than three groups to be up in arms about this.

Officials have tried poison, gassing and euthanasia to control a breeding frenzy among squirrels in a city park here. Now, they plan to give birth control a shot.

Under a new program to start this summer, squirrels in Palisades Park will be injected with an immuno-contraceptive vaccine to stunt their sexual development.

"We don't want to kill them if we don't have to," said Joe McGrath, the city's parks chief. "I personally like squirrels, but we also have to be receptive to the county's concerns."

Health officials say the squirrels, which number about 1,000 in the park, pose a public health risk. They warn that the rodents are aggressive and may carry rabies or host fleas that can spread disease, such as bubonic plague.

First off, the squirrels are being given the birth control against their will. Who is there to represent the squirrel eugenic angle? Don't these squirrels have the right to a family? Secondly, what about the Catholic Church? Isn't squirrel contraception a sin, just like it is for people? God will determine when he wants these squirrels to have more squirrels, not the squirrels, and certainly not the bloody do-gooders form the City of Santa Monica. Finally, where are the animal rights nuts on this one? Also, are they going to receive the HPV vaccination when they're 12 squirrel years old to protect them from squirrel cervical cancer? So many question. . . .

Personally, I'm 100% in favor of a squirrel's right to chose, as long as they don't chose the wrong nut.

Posted 3/05/2007 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

Seattle: Home of the fightin' Pussies.

The organization that oversees high school sports in Washington is considering more specific rules for fans that could ban booing and offensive chants.

The Washington Interscholastic Activities Association is drafting guidelines to crack down on negative conduct.

The association director Mike Colbrese blames rude fans for the dwindling number of people who want to be coaches and officials.

He says the guidelines will remind fans to cheer for their team, not against the other.

Well guess what, dumbass, if my team wins, yours has to lose. That is, IF you're still keeping score.

Posted 3/05/2007 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

Wal-Mart can thumb its nose at just about anyone it wants: Federal regulators, local taxing authorities, unions, but there's one group it better reckon with: rural quilters.

"I should have named this the grandmas' and mamas' revolt against Wal-Mart," said Taft, a 63-year-old with a bowl of gray hair and flag-waving teddy bears marching across her red T-shirt.

Taft is one of a legion of quilters, seamstresses and sewing enthusiasts across the country who are wound up about Wal-Mart's plan to unravel its fabric departments at many stores.

For the past two weeks, Taft has been planted at a stop sign across from the Wal-Mart parking lot, disseminating to passing cars more than 3,000 petition letters, signed "A VERY UNHAPPY Wal-Mart Shopper."

A handwritten sign masking-taped to a rusted lawn chair exclaims: "Help! Help! Save our Fabric Dept. in this store."

Independent stores closed down when they couldn't compete with Wal-Mart, and if Wal-Mart follows suit, shoppers would be forced to drive 30 to 60 miles to San Antonio or other towns for sewing needs.

Admittedly, this isn't Wal-Mart's core market structure. Why make people drive 60 miles for the stuff they want when they can just charge more for it after the local merchant is out of business? Either case, Wal-Mart sucks, and the only way to make them atone is to stop feeding them your dollars. While you can.

Posted 3/05/2007 05:01:00 PM by Douglas

Some direction for NASA, and some of the "why."

The Luddites have long opposed manned exploration as a waste of resources when, as the mantra goes, we have so many problems here on Earth.

I find this objection incomprehensible. When will we stop having problems here on Earth? In a fallen world of endless troubles, that does not stop us from allocating resources to endeavors we find beautiful, exciting and elevating -- opera, alpine skiing, feature films -- yet solve no social problems.

Moreover, the moon base is not pointless. The shuttles were on an endless trip to the nowhere of low Earth orbit. The moon is a destination. The idea this time is not to go to plant a flag, take a golf shot and leave, but to stay and form a real self-sustaining, extraterrestrial human colony.

Sure, Mars would be better. It holds open the possibility of life and might even have water on its surface today. But the best should not be the enemy of the good. Mars is simply too far, too dangerous, too difficult, too expensive. We won't go there for a hundred years.

Go already, dammit! Sometimes it's easier to go than it is not to.